Name: Ep 379 - Hogs Gone Wild (feat. Tommy Pope)
Uploaded: 2022-01-18T22:14:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 379 - Hogs Gone Wild (feat. Tommy Pope)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 379 - Hogs Gone Wild (feat. Tommy Pope)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-18. Transcript available.

Ep 379 - Hogs Gone Wild (feat. Tommy Pope)

the wild wild west all right all right we're live sean why don't you grab a
seat here hey sean how's
you take a seat here we're here with my roommate tommy my adult roommate tommy
pope my male adult
roommate it looks like we're visiting our old grandpa yeah an old folk home he's
sitting there
this is nice it's not that you seem so embarrassed about it i don't know why it's
good it looks like
he's sitting in like a dunk tank he's very uncomfortable just relax dude you're
producing
bro i know i'm very relaxed right now i know i could tell he's producing what's
up chillin bro
the fuck's up with you ready for the camp ready for the camera what's dark in
here i know dude i can't
see the production stinks right before we started before the camera cut on i
was like you don't
never fucking go anywhere he's like oh hey guys what's going on sean's welcome
up don't ever
fucking go everybody makes me sit the other way um so how have you been matt i
haven't spoken to you
dude i've been fighting the effects of um your long coveted my long hauler dude
it's i i'm telling you
i'd love i would love to have been like out my plan was to be like yeah god i
didn't even
fucking notice it i got fucking i'm fine it's just i keep coughing you know i
got it it was fine but
that's fine that's what i wanted that's what i wanted but here's what happened
dude i there was
there's been a uh development there's been a development i've been researching
treatments
because you know there's no treatment for really there's no treatment for covet
really
yeah you can't there's no protocol for outpatient treatment it's just you know
take the thing
you know hopefully it works can't really speak on it i don't want youtube
fucking you know
yeah don't talk dude not talking covet i'm just talking about there's no outpatient
treatment that i know of you can do okay look some stuff up and apparently in
the papers dude
in the literature there's promising stuff about cannabinoids i just saw a
headline i said you know
what cannabis yeah so i said you know what because it you know weed man you
smoke weed right or you
do much i don't i don't really smoke that much anymore however now that i have
what's that much
like well smoking specifically i don't i was more of an edible dude for a while
and then how often are you
high off your ass in the last couple months really maybe like once or twice i
can oh in the last
couple months you got high once or twice not a lot yeah like i mean like oh
yeah how about a little
bit a little bit high 15 times okay not bad that's not that's nothing what's
that 10 milligrams yeah
you know or the pen just kind of puffing away on the pen just gave me 350
milligrams if you want one
350 no 350 milligrams who give them to this dealer you have a dealer i got a
guy edible deal i have a
dealer i got a deal i got a mushroom guy what a guy i can get you anything i
can get you a gun in 25
minutes when did you get a dealer i haven't had a dealer for years you got a
secret deal yeah well i knew
about some dealers yeah i knew there was some contacts in other departments and
it expanded
into the mushrooms oh and he gave me a fruit you know the freeze-dried uh air
sealed packaging yeah
he's like try these that always impressed me matt had it matt had one of those
things the what when
you saw these sealed things the ceiling the package oh yeah yeah i saw that i
was like this guy's
running out of your mushroom pills i need a new batch because i started doing
the two three to
five a day i'll get you yeah you're doing it every day you're gobbling i did it
i did it for two
weeks i did three to five you gobbled you got to take days off dude oh you do
they're going to stop
working at all oh what do you do you do the fatamon protocol dude one day on
three days off i don't
fucking know are you the stamets stack stamets stacks five days you need to do
fatamon or stamets
i recommend the fatamon protocol there's no directions on the bottle he gave me
fatamon
protocol and that's three on one off two on or no one on two off my eyes are
burning
it's like deep loving smoke i feel like i'm in a coal mine yeah it's a
we're working at a diner yeah there's no no no no
but yeah he's in frame yeah we gotta get it smiles when he gets a piece of meat
in his hands
but yeah i uh are you still sick i feel i feel better now this is i'm telling
you dude so i was
doing some research i'm going through the literature deep comprehensive
analysis of the literature like
we all now we all do deep comprehensive analysis of course i can't read more
than one paragraph
anything i'm like now so yeah i'm trying to read a book this weekend did you
really what'd you read
three pages went to bed i couldn't even read rogan's post like you know he has
sometimes
he's like two or three paragraphs i'm like what is this i forget what i already
started reading don't
you dare disrespect my best friend true don't you dare that's so funny that i
was telling him like
you shared one clip like he went in in like three short months to his first
episode was like very
quiet and nervous a little bit last episode he's like shut the up joe you're
pissing me off
now he's up rogan's ass no roguys dude that was a joke that was like my best
friend i was doing i
was doing shut the up and follow the signs yeah it was hilarious no you're
exactly right though the
first time i did roguys i was like craps world it was a textbook craps world i
remember the first time
you did comedy podcast way back when and like i'd be on like you know somebody's
podcast and i just
sit there and be like should i tell my head it was like should i talk now yeah
yeah yeah oh this
would be funny about that thing but that was kind of long ago they said the
whole time like
uh go back and listen to now you're just eating cheese at a smoke den
whatever comes up comes up listen to how we uh listen how we used to talk if
you listen to an old
episode we changed the way we speak yeah when we first started to be like dude
i was thinking about
a thing about this thing every time i catch an old clip i listen to it i
usually go on the toilet and
i go jesus we sound totally different it's not like i sound like a fucking
idiot we both sound like
complete fools what are you seven years ago probably six or seven years six
years yeah i think so geez
time flies when you're having crippling anxiety time flies when every week is
the same yeah you do a
podcast what the did i say yeah time flies me that you're actively destroying
your life and legacy
for patreon yeah real short term blackout every night i forget half half those
seven years yeah i was
getting banged up i had to i took it east this weekend did you really and i
didn't have fun what i had to do
stand up without drinking you got to do it you gotta have one or two beers that's
what i that's what i
said doesn't do anything to your body two beers two beers is the medical limit
the doctors say yeah
that's the stuff that's good for you that's in the literature yeah like drink
three glasses of wine
it's good for the polyphenols it is i think about that i heard that i heard
that study got funded
i heard that study big wine i think well i heard they found that they're like
yo we arranged the data in
a way that makes it look like if you have two drinks it's good for your health
and like they pitched that study
to alcohol companies they're like you guys want this info yeah we'll sell you
this well i believe
it so i trust the science um it's not like you know could be could be the case
i'm not drinking
like russian booze wine yeah it could be the socialization aspect though so the
what could be
just like the fact that people who drink hang out and have pals yeah that might
help you true
significantly yeah but unless you're getting hammered and fighting everybody
every night
toss in a little difference of opinion no big deal so i i took i tried not to
drink this weekend in
tacoma washington was that a little jab at me for uh our temperature oh not at
all not at all but the
temperature conversation has been slightly slightly solved even though i'm sure
you don't believe me
it's like yo every once in a while tom will crank the thermostat up as far as
it goes
it's to activate the water tanks tom believes and i i'm not saying you're wrong
well i am saying you're
wrong now i i wasn't sure so or it's it's an old shitty place so the thermostat
the whole way up
just means on okay either the either the radiators are on or off there's it
doesn't matter that was the
old way of thinking i galileoed out i came in i said here's some new theories
and i was crucified last
night wait you guys have radiator heat you have radiator yeah okay dude i came
in here last night
and it was it was a sauna it's nice it was i was having a good time piping hot
i came in for three
days i i adjusted my body temperature the temperature internally you got plant
you got plants i got plants
he does that was he did bring that up me and the girls get it good when she's
on the road dude even
the past dude even the the plants are back there sweating like meat it was he
did bring that up
it was like the plants it's gonna be me and the plants it's tropical look it's
just like mushrooms
gotta give three days good stuff i hear you two days not true so i came in and
it was i was like
in my head i was like i know the the thermostats the entire way up because i
was like this has been
an ongoing discussion whether it's on or off or there's some levels to it yeah
i'm
i'm more of a there's some levels to it guy you think it's a continuum yes so i
came in i think
it's the spectrum so i came in i said in my mind i was like the thermostats the
entire way up this
place is 900 degrees i walk over check of course it's the entire way up dude i
was like dude it is
so hot you have to do what and then he was so mad that i said it was too hot no
because i don't think
it was but maybe my body adjusted is there numbers if you guys just have like a
dial no there's numbers
sets it to a hundred degrees i'm telling you it doesn't it didn't matter i've
been here for
eight years nine years and never has that thing adjusted to a certain
temperature until today when
i showed up until this morning when i said here's how it works i'm talking
about so upstairs doesn't
activate your hands off the upstairs doesn't activate until you get to like yes
72 and that is true
and the upstairs neighbors we control their heat so they would text us and be
like we don't get to a
certain number on there they can't turn their heat on and yes so what's yeah it's
a 100 year old
building i know someone who had something like that and then the pico came out
or whoever came
out and changed you don't got no they were like you don't have to pay like your
electric bill at all
what you're not i wonder if they didn't have to pay for heat you probably don't
well they're not
supposed to when there was an irish bitch in the basement she she started lumping
all her
shit together and i was getting a real high bill and i'm like i don't think you're
splitting this up
three ways and turns out that dega was he was getting in my ass the money yeah
yeah yeah the
old man was me over yeah he probably saw a young italian he probably had to
take a little bit off the
top yeah you got a big you got to give me a big yeah well anyway let's go back
to the uh the battle
there was a battle last night it wasn't much of a battle there was no listen we're
very good with
showing our chest and moving on yes chris not good chris no he will elevate you
guys bare teeth at each
other last night oh yeah now we just two alphas respecting each other's stance
yeah you say a
couple things great teeth you show eyes like this i hear you yeah and then uh
and it doesn't it doesn't
elevate because it's like talking to your dad going i got it the message is is
there i don't have any other
ill will feelings and i don't have a hidden agenda i'm not a passive aggressive
bitch if i had an
issue there i could be like wa