Name: Stoner Dadz Ep 3- Multi-Dimensional Fap sesh Ft. Lemaire Lee
Uploaded: 2022-04-02T02:15:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stoner Dadz Ep 3- Multi-Dimensional Fap sesh Ft. Lemaire Lee' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stoner Dadz Ep 3- Multi-Dimensional Fap sesh Ft. Lemaire Lee' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-02. Transcript available.

Stoner Dadz Ep 3- Multi-Dimensional Fap sesh Ft. Lemaire Lee

how do we have air pods and then you can still see hearing aids yeah hearing
aids look like landlines
yeah so they should make cool like you hang them on your ears and it's like a
thing on the outside like almost like tiny satellite dishes that would be that
would be
pretty and you could like obviously there'd be like cases not cases but like
skins for them
like you get them wrapped dude if they like moved on their own oh dude that
would be the ultimate
yeah if people could see you like triangulating sound with like little doot doot
doots coming out
welcome welcome to the sd dude welcome back apparently you guys have already
been here
true yeah true here the whole time welcome or welcome back you never know yeah
you never know
somebody could have the best is thinking about people who stumble across this
on the internet which
just like no context and they're just like what the fuck that'll be great for
them also shout out
lemare we got lemare in the motherfucking we can't see him which is weird we
need to get another monitor
this is uh this is a pretty crazy experiment we're running right now yeah this
is we could lose funding
over there we could we could we went straight to human trials on the tomb we
should have had it we
we should have some of the monkey in there first
this is a good like halfway point don't be racist in the comments yeah yeah don't
be racist in the
comments we'll do it yeah we'll handle the racism here listen do not leave a
comment saying that this
is like halfway between a monkey and a human trial i don't think that that
would be a funny joke for
you to make in the comments i would be furious i might take the channel down if
somebody it's over
if anyone makes that channel i'll report the whole channel i'll take this whole
thing down protest
outside of your work i'll break this lease i'll kill you dude yeah i'll break
this lease
fucking minds the idea for lemare is to get lemare into a deep trance let's
take him somewhere how can we
lol him like racist hypnotism true lemare what do you watch when you're going
to bed at night uh oh
youtube clips of wwe wrestling wow man yeah dude i love it that's the thing
that you can only do without
a woman in your bed what's it like when you wake up to them what do i wait no i
don't wake i turn my tv off
okay wait do you timer oh you don't turn it off and consciously go to sleep i
try to but if i don't
i'll just like alexa 30 minutes yeah what's your uh what's your like era of
wrestling clips that you
watch to go to bed well dude i'm i'm i'm a guy i watched the current i'm a i'm
a fan of the product
what's happening right now i'm a fan of the product you guys i'm dying what's
that what's going on
are you all right and he's back there clenching his chest
come there i wasn't listening at all
halfway through his own sentence he said what's happening
oh i do like he went back to finish the sentence
you have to chill the bear out dude the bear has to chill what is happening
we gotta put the bear in the trash
go to sleep there the bear's having a stroke right now
and matt's playing dorsal tones oh my god you you jumped right over meditative
state and convinced and
i'm waiting in the ego death
uh the bear is that what happened to you was at the dulse did you were you not
expecting those tones
no that was afterwards no dude the tones helped me i'm cool now he's good i hit
him with four
four thirty two dude let me just chill some medicinal tones
i didn't with the sound healing dude i was bugging out there was like did you
play a tiny one first
like a very like low i tried to on my phone i wasn't yeah yeah i heard it i
heard it too
right around when the mayor said what happened what is that what is it up in my
body you guys
are troopers for that i thought for a second i didn't i thought i was hooked to
the bluetooth
all of a sudden you're a maniac this guy's just listening to music yeah oh nice
i was gonna say
who are you texting but you had this very serious look on your face i thought
it was important
yeah lemair thought he found a new side effect for whatever disease he's sure
he has
well mayor how do you feel in the tomb you got jackson you got your you got a
spirit guide in there
i'm feeling nice i'm feeling nice i'm feeling chill nice yeah it's cool in here
yeah feel free
lemair you can just lay back for like 10 minutes space out you have no
allegiance to this conversation
yeah by all means jump in you guys are gonna probably i'm probably i'm probably
fall asleep
try to enter a chair no we're gonna wake you just wiggle those toes a lot
train i am wiggling my toes right now oh yeah i'm there i feel it i started wiggling
my toes too
we're wiggling them together man we're deep breaths try to get into a trance
not audibly into the mic
actually has breathe heavily into this mic dudes what the is up we're here yeah
what an intro yeah keep
my eye on the time 220 oh hell yeah thank you all right we got an hour yeah bros
we want to talk
about uh you were talking some rush oh yeah yeah rush talking a little crane
yeah miami harrah cranes
well so crane in the membrane i was just trying to imagine i was just trying to
imagine a woman who's
like posting on the internet saying like she's attracted to the president of ukraine
you know right
there's a lot of women who are doing that yeah here's my question trying to put
myself in that
headspace well here's what i'm thinking well here's what they're doing women
love winners and he's like
he's backed by the united states this guy's gonna win and i'm gonna look cool
if he loses no chick's
gonna be saying he's hot let's let's put that out there zielinski loses the war
which i hope he doesn't
there's gonna be like 500 000 women who are gonna be like behaving as though
their boyfriend just got
beat up like she just watched her boyfriend get knocked out in front of a bar
damn you got to think
about what this is going to do to women's psyches if ukraine loses it's gonna
it's like when trump
became president they're gonna be like holding their shoes in the streets well
mary when you say
do you mean like they got super horny no women got like broken they clammed up
president yeah i mean
i i don't know man that's a big elder when your boyfriend loses a fight in
front of like a bunch of
people to a bouncer that's true you're you're limping for six weeks minimum i
like to believe there's a like
small dark corner of like a 23 year old liberal white chick's mind where like
she sees trump and
she's like god i want to that guy so bad that's like just the teen almost like
freudian yeah just
the teeniest morsel of them just being like like it comes up every now and
again they have to be like
no you ever get mad at their boyfriend they're just like what the was that all
about you have
no idea she's just thinking about sucking trump then you're directly
proportional the theatrics that
they're doing yeah dude is directly proportional to how much they want to suck
trump yeah i don't even
like that guy what yeah he's gross ew i was going to compare it to like you
ever have you ever
like seen like a super fat obese woman and been like what if you know it's
probably the same impulse
but you're just like whoa that's a dumb thought and women are just like claws
out over it women go
wolverine over it what the true some dudes some dudes get a little clawed out
over wanting to secretly
fuck fat chicks really yeah to go hard the other way yeah it's like the guy who's
gay spiky hair it's
like the gay guy who's like dude what the fuck there's just dudes that want to
fuck fat like what
do you want to fuck that fat chick you fucking weirdo every white dude with spiky
hair was to
fuck fat chicks what would his like secret shameful gay bar be oh you just hit
the arby's dude you'd
hit the arby's and be like what are you doing here like uh uh uh i'm just
meeting you for fuck yeah
where do fat women hang out because they clump up it's nuts women fat women do
kind of clump up together
oh for sure they get like they are they are at the obscure fast food
restaurants they try to be
above mcdonald's and do like arby's and they gotta mix it up boston market what
are you doing in here
yeah are they like fast food hit like they're just trying to exemplify refined
taste in fast food but
they're just deluding themselves yeah you know oh i think it might just be like
they don't want to
they got to probably break up the action you you probably need more they might
get cut off yeah
you can't do four at the same mcdonald's you got to do like two arby's mcdonald's
has like a fat
woman pit boss that comes out
they had to have cut somebody off yeah they don't want to eat themselves to
death there's people who
there's people people don't intervene they would mcdonald themselves to death
pretty quickly
yeah oh yeah yeah le maire oh dude yes we got one in the tube right now yeah
you're spending we're
going to strap you to there you're going to buy like three days and no mickey
dean
i'm going to your brother just write it out i'm worth it let me just get one
nugget
no matter i'm going to be like the demon from the exorcist she's like
no you're going to be like when a guy's daughter gets bit by a zombie and he
keeps her around he's
like we're going to find a cure we're going to find a cure for the mayor being
fat he's just like
biting at the air you sneak down so here's 50 cc's of shake shack you should
hold him over
we'd have to step him up to like shake shack someone discovers them they're
like we have to tell
people about this we're going to have to kill somebody to protect la mare his
dark secret shake
shack is like fast food methadone like you eat that before you evolve to good
food so chipotle's like
that chipotle's quickly becoming oxycontin of fast food it gets worse every
time i eat chipotle i'm
like man that was way worse than last time guacamole is the fentanyl of fast
food it's starting to like
pop up everywhere yes it is i have a theory that chipotle's guacamole is just
like mcdonald's old
milkshakes repurposed i think they just like take old mcdonald's food and just
alchemy it into
into like yeah chipotle guacamole i dude it's not i eat a lot of guacamole chipotle
guacamole is like
grainy it's weird yeah i stopped getting it they figured out yeah they thought
it was ultra high
quality i thought so too dude if you asked me when i think it might be the i
think i think it might be
like the the top of the game well the mayor is right if you're do you eat fast
food though
oh no silence la mer no i don't think get in your hole so yeah that's fast that's
but from an
economics perspective tim's kind of right what because mcdonald's has something
called a monopsony
right where they're like the biggest buyer of something yeah so they get quite
they actually get
quality meat so because they probably own the farms and things they're probably
getting like the best grade
avocado they get the first choice no way they get the first choice of the worst
shit folgers does this folgers they have the same thing i didn't know it's
called a monopsony
i'm definitely yeah now we're now that we're talking monopsony i think i've
heard four different
monopsony yeah okay yeah monopsony yeah we're getting an opsony
but yeah i've heard wait la mer how do you pronounce it monopsony
let's go let's go let's go yeah but we're not happily yeah non monopoly it's
the not all right
guys drink some water or something
snap out of it so the whole point was that mcdonald's gets the best stuff i
highly doubt that
mcdonald's is getting the best of like cows that have been like living under a
floor for like 40 years
they like they like grow cows without heads they grow like like meat bushes
they're just bushes of meat
they grow meat bushes like yo we get first call
that style they're amazing mcdonald's they're in like the they're in like the
level 200 of the wuhan lab
you take the elevator to floor two of the wuhan institute of biology it's just
mcdonald's meat farm
they gotta 