Name: Ep 392 - Suss Al (feat. Lemaire Lee & Andy Malafarina)
Uploaded: 2022-04-21T00:19:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 392 - Suss Al (feat. Lemaire Lee & Andy Malafarina)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 392 - Suss Al (feat. Lemaire Lee & Andy Malafarina)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-21. Transcript available.

Ep 392 - Suss Al (feat. Lemaire Lee & Andy Malafarina)

welcome welcome to matt and shane's la mare andy we got motherfucking murdoch
in the tomb murder
murdoch yo um yeah shane is in gashville right now actually so it's an old
rainy day in philadelphia
him and nate ran off him and nate ran off there's stuff going on right now you
know like bonnie and
clyde over in i always hear rumors dude everyone's always like oh the podcast
is breaking up it's
yeah it is yeah shane and nate just started their own thing panties broke up
matt and shane i got
drafted the panties in your mouth and we got murder murdoch in the motherfucking
building
all the rumors are true everything you ever read online is true it's called
matt in your mouth now
that is a bit of an upgrade i'll go for that it's a good trade
oh it's okay yeah yeah we're fine it's going right to the card
oh we're good yeah tell you he's a good producer danny dubs
what he's doing dude that guy is fucking skilled
who'd you have before this though who do you have before this let's not get
personal
let's not get fucking personal go on andy panties in the mouth dude pretend we're
doing panties
in the mouth let me let me and murder murdoch just sit in on what you guys
usually do i heard you
guys get the guest high as fuck nate's been doing that yeah because we got a
good move we got alice
grubar on he does he's leading out the stone pothead yeah he does we not the
stone so nate was like
testing his pothead abilities yeah i was getting them too high with all of his
gadgets nate's like
weed gadget man yeah i believe it yeah we say he's smoking in like 2030 because
like everything he has to
smoke with like everyone i see at like the clubs or whatever they'll like grab
it and then they'll pause for
a second they'll be like is this right is that how i'm supposed to because like
no one knows what
the fuck yeah he's like a is he a big dab guy electric dabs
yeah why is it so funny dude i don't know just electric dabs he won't yeah he
won't smoke them
out of that like mousetrap crack pipe that everyone uses he's like i gotta
throw it in my t1000
and fucking smoke it through bluetooth so he's been getting everyone high on
the t1000
they just running naked getting high you don't you don't uh really smoke weed
no i'm like very rarely
at the end of the day watching a movie he partakes yeah but you realize you're
sitting in a room full
of people ripping electro dabs oh yeah you're high as fuck i get a good e-contact
high like hard
you get the wi-fi
i get that wi-fi dab dude uh also welcome murder murdoch you got murdoch in the
tomb
yeah just chilling yeah hanging tough dude murdoch dude i was pumped to bring
you on oh reigning
champion by the way oh thank you always funny thank you yeah 2022 pay some
fucking respect murdoch
welcome to the fucking winner circle dude thank you 2021 yeah oh they didn't do
2022 yet yeah
who do you think who do you got winning 2022 um hmm you think a girl will win i
mean there's
nothing weird about lamere you allowed to enter as the king of philly maybe uh
i don't know josh
kosh placed second last year so you think jay kosh what do you think what do
you think took you to the
next level to where you secured the throne was there a moment you're like i
fucking totally secured
the throne or like what were you thinking uh i think every moment up there i'm
i mean you know
you were supreme yeah yeah i had everything kind of organized and uh one thing
after another a lot
of a lot of jokes one after the other as much as i can fit in the set you know
true a lot of stuff
why don't you try to be the first two-time winner true it's no you can't uh
what if you trans
serious question dude oh wow that's it yeah that's a hack to get into the
second time you're like
this time i'm trans and then you win and then if you go same person if you go
that's true
same spirit yeah but no but you're dead name one so that's a race from history
they can't go in the
second time as jennifer and then the third time you guys be like a furry and i'm
like what are the
furry terms fursona yeah or just you know the third time it'd be an animal king
you'd be that's
what it is i was trying to remember what it was you would ditch humanity
altogether just be animal
he's like this is our first panda philly's funniest winner or you would go with
a young age you give
him your little age and then be like that technically you'd be back in time
yeah but i didn't win yet
it's going to be a perfect my little age it's going to be a damn he's got so
many options to just keep
winning murder you can establish a one-man dynasty on philly's funniest are non-binaries
human
i think so i think technically i think they claim humanity yeah i think all
people are human you're
still human if you're overly silly you know like just because you're super
silly doesn't mean you're
not a human me and murdoch don't approve of stuff like that dude i'm just there's
nothing silly about
completely withdrawing yourself in my mind binaries are ones and o's dude and
if you're non-binary you're a two
explain that what are you saying dude in my mind binaries are ones and o's and
if you're not
a one and o then you're two come on that's fair who wants to be a two in the
world of ones and o's get
out of here damn i was i thought i was in the hot seat for making fun of non-binary
and then
la mare came and was like i'll save the day and say whatever the fuck this is i
mean to be fair
to be fair to be fair murder what do you think about that
yeah you know maybe josh kosh this year
drew montana is pretty funny so are they are they still uh so do they do they
open the doors
to you once you won doesn't helium just like turn around and just fully give
you the keys of the
kingdom um well they they do let me in the building what do you mean well you
know they i'm not i'm not
disallowed what do you what are you talking what does that mean i don't know i
was trying to really
like it didn't work they let you like hosting did helium on person you no no uh
no no i've done stuff
there wait what do you mean i do stuff there okay so they let you host once you
won yeah sick
posted i've hosted stuff but i do a lot of stuff outside town too i'm not uh i'm
all around you know
hell yeah nice i like the suburbs i like new jersey jersey's bad uh i take it
back
jersey's a good time no jersey stinks you it literally smells north jersey
smells like ass
no it looks like it smells it smells no it smells it actually smells central
jersey are you in north
jersey gardeni central jersey yeah we started when you hit that bridge it
starts to stink
no it's like literally genuine smell it's not like my favorite thing about
going back into jersey from
philly is like the bridge in where's that trenton yeah where it's like the
world trenton makes the world
takes yeah you ever see that yeah i don't think so anymore i don't think i don't
think that's a
maybe a new slogan yeah they because that right now it has like heavy like jewish
mother energy
like trenton just makes everything and all you do is take it yeah it's making
us feel bad
you haven't been putting up numbers in a while you might want to get a new
bridge
yeah that what do they used to make like steal or something crime
yeah all of the best criminal like draft picks are from trenton just dudes
coming home tired like
long day at the stabbing factory yeah that sucks man it sucks that that town
just fell
they got a triple a hockey team
this train i thought it was doing all right trend yeah yeah i mean it's better
than it was i don't
know it's just a place to take a bus you know they got this town it's a connect
it's a bus connecting
town i feel bad for china isn't isn't china like locked up right now for shanghai
i heard that
they're all locked down shanghai getting shanghai for good for kovish
guys like you're just like stop hitting yourself stop hitting yourself well it
sucks i was like i
i actually i inflated an inflatable pool recently and it was made in china yeah
and i was like damn
that must be so depressing to like just like as you're locked down there's
probably somebody like
once the economy starts faltering they're like we got something to do and you're
just blowing up
inflatable pools and they send you back to like a cement fucking barrack like
barracks wait does that
mean does that mean we're gonna have to start locking down again too or no i
thought only if you
only if you let them dude only if you let them i didn't let them the first time
honestly the first
time yeah you gotta have more stores where they're like you guys gotta do this
and they're just like
no like i'm good i bet it's gonna happen more well it's all suggested it's all
suggestions now at
this point no the philadelphia brought it back i thought philly was oh yeah but
you can you can
you don't have to have your mask on it's oh whoa whoa you're gonna get us
flying the platform
no i i was in uh i was in the supermarket today murdoch and i i was i was
taking account who had it on
who didn't a lot of people opting out yeah i mean i was you know pre-vaccination
i was pretty uh
you know but now it's like you know wait you were what before the vaccination i
wore the mask all the
time but now it's uh you know that makes sense now you're vaxxed yeah yeah now
you're protected for
life you can't catch that you can't even catch covid now that you're vaccinated
right um well you i've
never heard that happen you know what i mean like okay so yeah you don't like
kind of thing but you
can catch it but it goes in there and blocks it that's what's up yeah i like
that they're just in
there waiting for you the cells or whatever in there waiting for it to show up
and they're like get the
fuck out of here dude you ever seen we're gonna let you in hope it's playing
red rover in your body
you ever seen uh terry t office linebacker no it isn't no it's a youtube show
where uh this guy
he just runs in it's a whole show it's not a show it's like a clip it's like a
thing
he uh it's a he he's uh he's dressed like a football player big black guy and
he just tackles
people who do who go ol in the office like i gotta see that that's i think i'm
pretty sure that's how it
works yeah because that's what i want to tell everybody you guys got to really
dial back your
expectations of how you think the thing was supposed to work like yeah
obviously initially
it was blocking everything it was perfect but now now that the virus is mutated
you guys got to all
grow up and realize you can still test positive but you're still well protected
dude you're not far
off from how they like made the the the uh the vaccine i was like looking into
it i watched i watched
maybe two 20-minute youtube videos on it that's what you did research yeah i
researched the one thing
they said they said so the the mrna is made to attack the covid virus nice yeah
so yeah what
you're saying is kind of right so it hangs out yeah it's like just drinking
coffee how long does it
last in your body for once you get it i don't know dude i don't know i think
forever i thought forever
does it i don't know no i thought it was just i thought it was i thought the
vaccine was just chilling
for like a cool year like you did like a summer abroad in your body and then
they're like i gotta
go back to connecticut yeah all the yeah all the deadly strains are like like
they're out of style
now so oh yeah we're on like we're on the non-deadly we're on the good ones we're
on the common cold
right now if you get killed by covid you should have died yeah i mean now i'm
saying now i mean now i mean
i think all of them i think they all deserve it that's one way of putting it i
wouldn't
i heard you think the planet had six million to burn how much was it what was
it i'm sorry that's a
weird i don't know six million sounds severely inflated but no i was i was
thinking i got my bad stuff
next up my bad it's probably 100 000 at most yeah like there was like a survey
like i don't know i
only have a i have a high school education in one of my classes where t