Name: Stoner Dadz Ep 6- Karmic Swag ft Brian Six
Uploaded: 2022-04-23T00:00:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stoner Dadz Ep 6- Karmic Swag ft Brian Six' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Stoner Dadz Ep 6- Karmic Swag ft Brian Six' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-04-23. Transcript available.

Stoner Dadz Ep 6- Karmic Swag ft Brian Six

Fortuna, Fortuna, spin your wheel upon us.
I decided I'm going to start watching Star Trek.
Imagine getting eliminated based off your dick.
Welcome to the Medieval Science of Podcasting.
I've never developed a tolerance for weed.
It's so funny.
Smoking it, I have.
But the edibles, every now and again, destabilize headquarters.
Every now and again, someone pulls the fire alarm inside me when the edible
hits.
I was like, oh boy.
And start going like, isn't this what you wanted?
And it's like, I don't know.
Do I even like this feeling?
What the hell's going on?
Why do I do this?
It feels gluttonous to feel that nice.
And I just, I freak out.
Is that what it is?
Yeah.
It's like, this is way too decadent of a feeling.
That's weird.
I just get like, I'll get like a panic.
Who do I think I am?
Like an ancient king?
That's how I feel when I'm on weed.
Yeah, dude.
Yes.
The answer is yes.
Am I a monarch?
I think I'm an ancient king.
Yeah, dude.
You know?
Do I deserve to feel like I'm being carried on like tiny body pillows by
servants?
You might have to just accept your kingness, dude.
I've got a latent king quality that I'm, it's bursting through the seams and it's
fucking
me up.
Why?
Why are you fighting that?
I mean, me and Sid are comfortable in our kingness.
Really?
You got to become blacker, dude.
Yeah.
That's your problem.
Yeah.
You ain't black enough, dog.
You got to cross the threshold of kingliness.
Yeah.
It's the first step.
Come on, king.
I'm a goddamn king.
Come on, king.
What the hell?
Come on, young king.
You can start out as a young boss.
I think that's why I dress like a Streets of Rage character is because if like
I don't
just do something retarded with my entire energy, it's going to go wigger.
How?
It's...
You think you're a king wigger?
I might be.
You're like the wigger king.
I might be.
You might have to come out.
Dude, I might start having to do it in that spray paint crown.
The graffiti crown, dude.
Everywhere I go, the three dots, and then you know what I'm talking about?
You might just be fighting absolute greatness, dude.
You could be the bearer of light wigger king.
Because there's got to be two, right?
I could be the chosen wigger.
Yeah.
Oh, my God.
I do have a crossover.
Dude, it's wigger Lord of the Rings.
I have to return a flat brim to like my stepdad's house or something.
I have to destroy a new era hat at a guy named Jake's house.
You've got to uncurve a flat brim.
Shit, I forgot we still have music playing.
Where's my phone even?
Actually, I never even met a wigger that was good at basketball.
Jason Williams?
He's probably...
His ferry fully crossed over, though.
So, yeah, I think if you're in like purgatory, the trash.
Once you fully accept greatness, then you just all of a sudden...
And someone's like, what the fuck?
And you're like, it has happened.
Dude, you know what I could never figure out?
Is the guy from Maroon 5 a wigger?
Like an R&B wigger?
Definitely not.
Yeah.
Definitely not.
I think he might be an R&B wigger.
No, dude.
No way.
He's not like a bus stop towel over the shoulder wigger.
He's like a multi-billionaire R&B act.
What was his name?
I don't know.
Yeah, John B.
Where's Robin Thicke?
Yeah.
He's like...
Sure.
Well, my problem is he's still fighting a hard...
I get...
What's up, B's?
Yo, shout out B's in the tomb.
Shout out B's in the tomb.
Dude.
Did you guys start yet?
Yeah, we're starting.
Jesus Christ.
B's fucking rolled the boulder in front of his own tomb.
This is exactly what I needed.
I think Adam Levine is like an Usher wigger.
I think he's too nerdy, dude.
No, he's a polite wigger.
I don't know, man.
I can see if you put polite wigger on him, think about that.
Polite wigger.
He could very well be that.
I think Butterly's onto something.
I don't know, man.
I'm thinking, you know what?
Maybe wigger's not the correct word, but whatever his whole thing is,
he definitely just stole it from black people.
Now you might be on to something.
You know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
I guess you need a more respectful word.
What you're thinking of, you're trying to combine the phrase.
Someone who emulates like a black dude with a master's degree?
The two phrases that you're thinking of in your head
that you would never say out loud are wigger and one of the good ones.
Those are the two concepts that you're painting a picture of right now.
So I don't think that.
I'm saying that that's what you're talking about.
Yes, dude.
I think he's too big of a nerd.
I think his nerdliness...
I know.
His nerdliness will forever keep him from attaining kangly status.
I think he's at best of Duke, and he knows that.
You don't think he's a king?
No.
Adam Levine's not a king.
Not a king.
Brother.
I'll give him he's king status.
All right, cool.
Yeah.
Good.
We're on the same page.
He's a peaceful merchant.
He knows that we know at any point a true king could rise up
and go into the house of Horus on him.
Just align fully with Horus, dude.
Ah.
So...
You know about the Hulk.
He's more like a steward to the throne status.
Yes.
He's not a full king.
Yes.
But he's on the throne.
I respect him.
I mean, you know, he knows this.
Like, he's not in the house of Horus.
The house of Horus is a dude who fully aligns and is like...
Did you ever read about ancient Egypt when they linked northern Egypt with
southern Egypt?
Mm-mm.
Mm-mm.
Yeah, bro.
That's the house of Horus.
That dude just rose up.
He's like, I think Egypt needs to be won and killed 5,000 people.
And everyone was like, good choice.
Nice job.
Wow.
He's like one of the greatest...
They don't know exactly who did it.
There's two dudes.
But like, he's held up as like...
That's like the hieroglyphs.
They're like, yo, remember that one time that dude was like, fuck this and
killed like 5,000 people?
Then we had one nation.
I have never heard of this.
That guy rules.
Yeah.
I didn't know there was a North Egypt and a South Egypt.
There was, dude.
And this dude united it.
He was like, fuck this.
It bothered him.
He was like, this is fucking bullshit.
I do hate when there's a North and a South of something.
It sucks.
You know what I mean?
It sucks.
It's like, yeah.
We should kill 5,000 people in North Dakota and just join them up.
Let's go.
Yeah.
You'd be aligned.
The whole idea in ancient Egypt was like, there was this divine order that was
right,
but it needed material people to enact the right order and then thus create it
in real life.
So when that dude did that, he was said to be living in the house of Horace.
It was like, I need to say this because my brain is stuck on it, but that's, I'm
realizing that Hitler was a wigger.
He stole, he stole, who did this?
Who did this unification of Egypt?
Who was responsible?
I forget the guy's name.
There's two guys that could have been.
And they're not exactly sure which one did exist so long ago.
Okay.
So that's basically how Hitler, Hitler stole this guy's playbook.
Pretty much.
Like in the same way that Adam Levine is a wigger, Hitler is a wigger.
He's an ancient Egyptian.
Okay.
He's an, yeah.
To be fair, to be fair.
You heard it here first, Adam Levine and Hitler are the same kind of wiggers.
A sentence that's never been crafted before in the history of the world.
I can definitely say 100% never.
Yeah, you're absolutely right.
That's a brand new sentence.
It'd be funny if it becomes like a cliche comparison where I was like, oh, not
another one of these.
Like, oh God, Adam Levine's Hitler.
Yeah, that's other times.
I completely forget what I was going to say.
Oh, hold on.
No, you can't keep that within.
You need to get that out.
I'm glad that it now exists in the ether.
That's joined the collective consciousness.
People have to like just process that thought and be like, I don't think so.
I couldn't see that.
Here's where you're wrong.
Some new drive would be like, no, are they?
Yeah, this is reprehensible stuff.
Just some like, yeah, someone like he's like a pharmaceutical sales rep driving
around listening to this.
If that happens.
If you wouldn't even flinch if at the end of one of those like passionate
Hitler speeches, he was like, holler at your boy.
It just walked away.
You wouldn't even flinch.
Dude, he kind of did say that.
Right?
His whole thing was based on your boy.
It was heavy.
He was like, dude, you know what I mean?
And only 5% of you were sold, but your boy's got this.
How about your boy, dude?
It was a big boy mission.
He was that boy.
He was.
In his head, he was that boy, dude.
I mean, I don't agree with him.
Nah.
But I will say he definitely.
Terrible choices.
Terrible choices.
But he definitely thought he was that boy.
You'd ask him like, bro.
No, he was that boy.
Are you in here?
Yeah.
That's what I was told.
He.
Yo, and if anybody else around him would have been like, yo, I'm that boy.
They would have been like.
I mean, there were some other politicians that thought they were that boy and
they all kind of died.
I think he like assassinated somebody.
That's how he came into power.
Yeah.
He rose up.
Damn.
Imagine if he put out his own movie of belly like was before.
Oh, man.
But yeah, he probably had pharaohs on his wall.
Like painted.
He got.
He got real.
They got really into Eastern.
The Eastern religion.
You know how the fucking like Hindus had swastikas.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hitler was like.
Hold up.
I think that's us.
I think we was kings.
He definitely.
He went in.
There was a big contention between when Eastern mythology, like when we first
translate it
and got it, the big thing the Nazis did was like, yo, because it ruled.
It was so fucking sick.
And the Nazis were like.
Wait, just one second.
I'm sorry.
Go ahead.
But if I told you Adam Levine was into Buddhism, would you even doubt me for a
second?
He must be.
Right?
No.
Yeah.
You just assume to be the case.
But please go on.
I'm just saying the connection between Hitler and Adam Levine is solid.
I could see Adam Levine being more like a like an Episcopalian.
No way.
Nah.
Like a devout Episcopalian.
A guy like that going, guess what?
Buddhism is like the sexiest thing in the world.
I know.
I think you're hungry.
I'm just trying to throw him.
Everyone likes to think that if they were him, they wouldn't go Buddhist.
You would go Buddhist.
I'm playing Hitler's advocate.
I'm just trying to play Hitler's advocate here.
I wonder if Mel was just playing Hitler's advocate.
He's like, I know.
I'm just weighing the argument out.
He's sort of not having an echo chamber.
Yeah, but you were explaining Buddhism.
You were explaining Eastern religions.
The Nazi, the Eastern philosophy came in and it kind of ruled, which is when
you're like,
no, here's the deal.
White people are clearly the best.
The Eastern philosophy comes in.
That was like for intellectuals.
They're like, this shit fucking rules.
Like I know Christianity is pretty tight, but like, I don't know, guys.
This is fucking dank.
And then it was a big thing.
So you're doing your thing and you're like, Hitler had to be like, yeah, those
were all
white guys like 30,000 years ago.
And then we left and came here.
That's just our stuff.
Come on, huddle back in here, guys.
So there was a big wing of the propaganda arm that was like, that's why it goes,
that's
why Iran to this day, like they'll chuck up Nazi salutes at soccer games.
A couple of them.
What?
Because Iran's convinced they are the ancient Aryans.
Like Germany got like deep into Iran being like, no, no, no, you guys are us.
Like you're us for sure.
Like you're us.
Chill.
You're making this up.
No, it's real.
This is real.
Iran means land of the Aryans.
I'm dead.
I'm sorry to God.
I believe you.
It started in like 1945.
Iran's pretty new.
I didn't know, I didn't know Iran was new, but that's it.
I didn't know.
I found out.
I was like, I didn't know it was that new.
I'm like, when the country's new, I'm like, all right, what?
1800?
1940s.
Yeah.
Some dude got into the house of Horace and was like, this is fucking Iran.
But they were teamed up.
Yeah.
Hitler was involved pretty heavily.
Or at least the Na