Name: The Presidents - Part Four (feat. Louis C.K.)
Uploaded: 2022-05-05T15:57:53.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Presidents - Part Four (feat. Louis C.K.)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Presidents - Part Four (feat. Louis C.K.)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-05. Transcript available.

The Presidents - Part Four (feat. Louis C.K.)

the wild wild west and then again and then again and then again and then again
what president
we just got done well maybe we're done yeah so that's what carter did he put on
a sweater he
said cool guys put on a sweater and people said go yourself yeah i rank uh the
iranian hostages
yeah that was the what how long was that how many days was that isn't that a
specific no idea
it was a bunch of days 400 i don't know a lot of whatever it was i was told
like pretty much
day one or two into reagan they they were like no more no so reagan got to take
credit for the
carter more than anything wanted to free the hostages before he left office and
he actually
did that he was up all night for several nights he was haggard there's a great
story about the day of
reagan's inauguration that carter went to um get him they that's the the the
tradition is the sitting
president goes and collects the new president and takes him escorts him so the
story was that he went
to uh reagan's hotel room where he was staying and ho and him and nancy were um
reagan was put on his
tie and nancy was getting dressed and it was like fuck smell in the room oh no
story i remember reading
this somewhere which you have to the carter yeah the carter was like they wow
they they're like in it
stinks like sex in here yeah these two fuck these freaks yeah they just they
power came all over her
horny from the power he just assumed he gave her another pearl necklace yes and
uh so that was the
thing he was coming out with nancy was good at giving head yeah recently i don't
know what that was
nancy i didn't really look into it frank sinatra says that he a very important
secret to singing
is that you eat an apple and you wait an hour and then you throw it up because
it creates a gravel in
your throat it gives you texture he learned this from nancy reagan it's only
one way that a woman
would learn this trick is because she's bulimic one day she ate an apple she
threw up and then she's like
i sound great so the next time she worked with sinatra she's like you know you
should do frank yeah and
she spread it it's like a trick of the trade that was nancy reagan she probably
did it with cum
too i don't know yeah i think she did it with cum these people are all dead so
it's fine yeah but so
nancy and ron this was jimmy had this jimmy carter had this in his unsleeping
had this little
observation that reagan was grumpy on inauguration he didn't feel like doing it
and that they had just
fucked and then they all got in the limo together and jimmy got the news that
the hostages were being
freed but reagan got to announce it so ronald reagan is yeah it's funny i get
all these legends from my
republican family so like i'll tell you what those that carter couldn't get it
done day one of reagan
those that's right well those muslims knew yeah you don't fuck with a
republican that's right
so reagan and i heard this my my legend so who knows which one's real uh but reagan
was uh fascinating
president two terms um there was uh oh i got one did nixon did nixon start the
war on drugs
i think it was nixon i know reagan was huge on it yes he would nancy reagan
said just say no yeah
which was hated because people were addicted to drugs yeah uh also aids started
with reagan and
reagan i mean he's he was the first agent he the monkey he bonzo he the monkey
but yeah there's a
bunch of movies about him and a monkey yeah bonzo bedtime for bonzo he bonzo
that's where bonzo
nancy i think i got aids from so reagan uh he was uh there's a piece of footage
of reagan there's a
documentary about huckleberry finn and it's about how it gets banned and then
re-bought refound and
banned throughout history huckleberry finn has been banned by liberals who don't
like the n-word and then
um conservatives who don't like whatever they have it just keeps going back and
forth
um and mark twain to some quote where mark twain said uh i knew when i created
huck he'd get in
trouble his whole damn life like as he knew that this was going to happen okay
so there's a character
in the huckleberry finn i'm going to say his name his name wow wow that was his
name now now this won't
be on youtube it'll just get it'll just get yes yes so um there's a there's
footage of reagan
um uh doing some tribute to mark twain and like uh whatever he's doing he's
opening a center or
something and he says uh he goes and and who could forget the wonderful stories
of huckleberry finn
and his friend uh uh jim and you can see him look off and you know that there's
guys going
like don't say don't say that's it but that's he i mean i read the books that's
his name fellas
you can't say it oh well geez i mean that makes no sense it's in the goddamn
book and so that you
can say don't say that his friend uh nah jim yeah this country god damn it yeah
don't say that but
then go ahead and get a war on drugs yeah yeah don't say that word yeah but so
reagan uh reagan was um
you know his whole crate he was uh um uh president of sag and then he was uh um
governor of california
um hated hippies just yeah hated them so much i gotta be honest i i i think i
would have too
i think i probably would have hated george harrison hated hippies yeah george
harris is george harrison
there's an interview with him where he went to hate ashbury he's like i heard
they're all and he was
like they were just disgusting drug addicts so yes hippies are gross they
always were um
so reagan re i mean there's so much about reagan for fuck's sake he two terms
and um george bush was
his vice president cold war cold war you know mr gorbachev take down this wall
yes and um he called the
the soviet union the evil empire yeah and then there was that crazy uh when
they went to ricky vick like
they got really close he did have an obsession with bringing down the proliferation
of nuclear weapons it
was something that he cared about and so they had a treaty they had a shot at a
treaty um and they went
flew to ricky vick iceland the two of them and it was this exciting time where
there might be this treaty
signed and then there was this awful midnight footage which you can also see of
the two of them leaving
at the same time and they're and reagan's gone no and gorbachev is going like
you know what do you
want from me reagan's going now man no way and they get in their cars and they
leave and it was like
shit yeah it was scary we're gonna keep nukes and it looked like something
worse might happen but
gorbachev was uh was an interesting dude you know something interesting was
going on they're different
from the other guys yeah but so reagan um trying to remember the thing i was
going to say about him he um
um
well he was shot and i remember yeah that's the one i wanted to talk about so i
went to that guy's out
what's that he just got out hinkley's out hinkley's out there's pictures there's
there's like tmz's taking pictures of him like if i kill hinkley that'll help
me
only if it's for jody foster you think if i could yeah somebody's around
somebody's gotta
jody fall somebody i mean in connection with that yes um so what what did she
say that's my favorite
he got out apparently she was like i actually was kind of impressed when he no
i swear she said that
i heard i've heard something else i heard that she was talking to like phoebe cates
or somebody
she was being funny and she said to phoebe cates like hey nobody ever shot the
president for you
honey or something like that and there's a million stories about jody foster
taking you know which all
might be false i think didn't ed hinkley i think he used to call her and like
leave voicemails
um i don't know anything about i think she was in college i don't think they
had voicemail them
you know what i mean yeah answering machine he would call and be like show her
tapes he's like
wait till you see what the fuck wait to see i love you please don't watch make
sure you're watching tv
i went to my kill him he just got fucked up my my mom hated ronald reagan hated
him since the 70s
and she saw him coming he there was a thing about reagan that was like trump
for for democrats
which was it was like it's a nightmare scenario reagan is a nightmare scenario
it's the end of all
things he is the worst guy in the world and they had connections between him
and white supremacy like
a bunch of them like the place he gave his first speech as a candidate yeah is
a famous horrible it's
it's where the students were were in mississippi yeah it was like in that it
was like he's standing
on their car that they took out of the mud not that but you know he was there
so a lot of people
made connections with that but people hated ronald reagan before he was
president when he won i remember
my mom being deeply disturbed by it and um and so there was this feeling he's
not a good guy we have
a bad president from some people's point of view and then other people you were
very aware yeah
loved the guy i mean so much and the his the mask the rubber mask of him what
became a thing and uh snl
was making fun of him and all this stuff but um there were these people that
just absolutely they
loved reagan without any reason without any and some people were on his side
all kinds of stuff but
there's a lot of democrats who just couldn't stand like yeah um but you know
life went on and then
when he got shot i went to my friend jeff drew's house and he said the
president just got shot and
these are two foot things i remember watching on live tv again now later one
was that and one was
i'm more sadat being assassinated the uh whatever president of i'm i'm sorry
but i don't remember if
it was egypt or israel but it it was a sadat was killed and i was watching it
on the news
it was israel i don't know well there was later somebody got shot in israel
yeah i'm up all the
names yeah but that was when clinton was president so okay amur sadat was on a
military they were
having a parade and there was troops marching in front of him and they turned
around and shh
that's got to be egypt yeah yeah probably that sounds about i mean it was not
as real hand grenades
it was his guys and they turned around and just riddled there was a bunch of
guys like at a dais
like a whole bunch of dignitaries and they just what and i was watching this i
was watching the live
news and they broke in and said i mean somewhat watching there was a special
report that used to be
a big thing now it's every breaking news break breaking yeah breaking news i'm
worsted out is dead
we have footage it's straight out of the beta cam and it hasn't been edited we're
gonna warn you that
this hasn't been edited and i and i watched this footage of a guy just watching
the parade and then
the lens goes down and then he goes up on the bandstand and what and you see a
guy holding his own arm
with what cut off and there's like strands of blood and stuff and muscle and he's
holding it in these
days like ask asking people walking by like what do i do with my arm like that
kind of thing and just
blood i mean i saw i was a kid and i saw that on tv and the other thing was reagan
had just been shot
when i got to jeff's house and we sat down and we watched that footage 20 000
you know him like the
dumb and you know he got thrown into the limousine and hinkley his own guy
jumped on yeah didn't he
kill one of the guys he killed oh yeah he killed he killed a cop he uh james brady
took who was the
press secretary took one to the head and was like this for the rest of his life
and the brady bill
was this big gun his his whole life became about gun control the brady bill was
started by his family
by by james brady who was reagan republican conservative reagan's um press
secretary he was
his spokesman very very brilliant guy who suddenly was like this and talk like
that and he would make
speeches and his wife would help him and the brady bill was like we of course
we're gonna pass this
because it was and a lot of republicans were in favor of it but the nra was
just a
motherfucker there was no way to to pass it