Name: Ep 394 - McCusker Fambly Fuckjob (feat. Swim, Spud, & Billy)
Uploaded: 2022-05-11T20:20:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 394 - McCusker Fambly Fuckjob (feat. Swim, Spud, & Billy)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 394 - McCusker Fambly Fuckjob (feat. Swim, Spud, & Billy)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-05-11. Transcript available.

Ep 394 - McCusker Fambly Fuckjob (feat. Swim, Spud, & Billy)

the wild wild west begin we've started officially right now all right what's up
bros dudes thank
you for doing this hey man yeah no chains in i think scotland right now really
yeah i was dude
i was sitting there i was just going what the hell am i gonna do dude bro ship
contacted me
not only we're gonna do the podcast we're gonna let you smoke changa right
before you do it as a
pre-rec as a pre-rec which is fair enough i just wanted to give you the
experience of smoking changa
just like to set it up like that dude they should start selling that shit like
they used to sell
salvia i want to petition i want to lobby to bring like really insane quick
psychedelics but like they
had salvia legal and i think it's still legal it's state to state is it really
yeah who do you think
is like the governor who's like nah bro let's let that right pa won't let it do
it it's just so funny
for that to hit a governor's desk like what are we doing today he's like what's
the deal with salvia
i wonder they make him smoke it and he's like this is illegal there's only like
12 states where
it's legal so those governors must have been like dude it's actually chill if
you prepare for it
you know it's nuts it's all about yo it's not just salvia like when you get
into all the research
chemicals yeah like not that salvia is a research chemical i'm not gonna put
that on it i was about
to say i was about to stand up yeah like that's a plant bro it's the i think it's
the oldest known
psychedelic i could be wrong salvia salvia is like the first thing people got
ripped out oh my god
you imagine being like basically an animal and smoking salvia and just being
like what the fuck
but um oh when you if you were to like go online and buy research chemicals
it'll be like illegal in florida illinois it's like you'll pick the weirdest
molecule are you talking
about swim no swim activity but like it'll be illegal in like nine states and i'm
like how the fuck did
like four h-o-d-i-p-t get illegal in florida and only florida like what the
fuck happened to some dude
probably did something fucked up in delaware the salvia thing was a kid killed
himself in his suicide
letter wrote about didn't he write about salvia or something he had been
smoking salvia but that's
not he started running with the wrong crowd no he just he killed himself
because he smoked salvia and
realized he was better suited on the other side fair play yeah good point he
that was part of his
letter mom tried to make it like oh he smoked salvia that made him kill himself
he's like no
not really he got the message technically he had work to do right on wait so he
shed his he shed his
fucking this mortal coil birth yeah he shed his mortal coil but it's like you
can't blame salvia you
know for if your teenage son killed himself from gas station drugs mom's a snitch
that's probably the first time she party pooped true that's true fair point
dude you're up in all
wounds bro all right it's fucked it's my it's not my home state but it's close
yeah right it's your
home state pretty much you grew up out there i mean pretty much delaware pennsylvania
yeah but you
were right on the border your whole life i mean yeah i liked it there it's
pretty nice i only did
eight years on that border it was chill it was a chill ass that whole area is
chill delaware sucks
delaware's fucking for sure sucks behind new jersey new jersey blows no jersey
has good things about it
though yeah i would say new jersey is like the pine barons are cool yeah you
haven't seen much of
there's tons of like beautiful lakes yeah delaware flat out sucks delaware
sucks on like a depressing
level jersey's like comically shitty yeah yeah but jersey has like that's
pretty good there's like
little spots in jersey that are really nice yeah yeah gardenes neighborhood's
nice but there's spots in
jersey that are genuinely nice delaware is like this flat fucking wasteland
yeah it's all that goes on
until you get to the beach and then the delaware beaches kind of blow yeah they
do and they've been i don't
know if you know about the delaware beaches but uh you know we're homo boys
boys the boys moved delaware
basically is so shitty it compressed all the gay dudes are like nah and they
just concentrated in
one area we'll take this one yeah like the rest of del like when you drive from
the top of delaware to
the bottom it's the same thing until you get to the ocean yeah it's just a flat
fucking strip mall and
there's no like out of nowhere though dudes just talk differently like once you
get down to lake
smyrna and shit they all the wild thing was when zeus ran away zeus ran away on
the border of pa and
delaware got picked up in delaware where i had to go pick him up was like the
south what oh it gets
so country wild like they're they're like lost dog thing was way down and it
was like once you go south
to wilmington it gets so fucking hillbilly it was like a farm and it had it was
like a prison for
dogs yeah it was wild it was an outdoor prison for dogs everyone's on opiates
too oh really the whole
state like delaware city down there dude delaware jet in general people are
like that's where your
boy's from oh big hunter he's like you don't fuck six nine hunter is password
anal six nine he is an
archetype of delaware residents yeah he really has all the money in the world
and also shoots coke
and like his niece yeah that might just be it was his niece well joe biden did
in fact molest children
yes you can't say he sexually did but he definitely bothered them he extremely
he bothered them to an
extreme level which technically is molestation definition of molestation he's
done that yeah he
bothered kids immensely which is makes him a molester in the classical
definition of it yeah there's a
montage i've seen it yeah he's literally molesting kids but hunter biden is
like when i saw when he came
out on the news i was like oh i went to high school with like 30 of these dudes
yeah yeah right like
they drove bmws and like crashed them because they were smoking crack and stuff
but then in delaware
like it's weird the way delaware is laid out the private schools are like so
wealthy but then those
kids that go to private schools will still hang out with like the worst of
juvenile delinquents that are
like they somehow meet in delaware because they're so small there's common
ground so like i would go to
parties in high school and you would have like like the biden's kids would be
there and then there'd be
kids that were like smoking crap are you like the age of a biden yeah there was
a biden a year older
than holy i don't use i'm not going to say her name oh it was a lady no what's
her name he's
exposed the snits yeah i don't dude dude it's the first it's it's the first
daughter bro come on man
i know you have your thing about joe biden but i respect the office all right
sorry can we get it
can we reach a consensus here i'll respect the office i respect the office dude
imagine whoever
you vote for doesn't matter once that vote's counted and that's your president
that's my president now 100
i couldn't agree more i couldn't agree more i don't bad mouth i'm so excited
for the next president
whoever it is i just can't wait to support them i don't vote i just support
whoever wins
i was on a party on the president so the point of like almost storming the
capital for anyone in office
i saw uh i like the dudes who like love cops and first responders i saw a sign
the other day that
just said c heart ps outside of something it's like i heart cops i heard cops
people was like love cops
dude yeah dad was blue lives matter like hard as for a little while and then
he just had a little run-in with law enforcement and immediately it's like
these guys are out to get
me this is a job i can't stop calling everything a job dude he was getting with
for some reason
he had to talk to the cops and he tried to come out explain the situation they're
like sir get in
your car and like that whole squad hates when dudes who are younger than them
like kind of big boy them
oh yeah and immediately just gets on the horn like this is a job this guy's got
it out for me why the
is he doing this what do you what was he doing it was it was just stuff that
happened to him where
like the cops got involved in like uh something on the road are you like gonna
like a moving violation
not moving just like an accident solicitation a solicitation charge
him and dad were down there doing mind your business has dad ever like brought
you out
huh his dad brought you out before brought me out yeah like like pick up girls
yeah pick up girls
and like you know he wouldn't do it like share hooker you would never do that
bro speak i mean
i'm sorry i mean i think he waits till you're like 32 and dad yeah he'll take
you out well
you haven't been to the bunny ranch with dad yet dude dude it's such a chillest
experience dude
you thought you think it was hard dude you think smoking chang or dmt's tight
smut on this wait till
you share a woman with dad dude it's so tight that guy's just goofball right
now there's legit
mom and daughter only fans now that's what how do you know that how do you know
that no no no you're
going back i saw it i saw it i saw it on barstool it just happened on your
credit card dude
joe it just happened on barstool that lowers your credit score
does that for real lower your credit there's mom and daughter only fans yes
where they're
like that's a risk now i don't know if they're but they're both there they says
whoa i wouldn't
even imagine that wait they don't says they don't call it it's not that's the
word i was looking for
what are you talking about do they just like talk about sex to each other they're
naked i guess i
don't know all i heard was oh that's a mother-daughter only fans oh so they're
like co-hosting it
they're in an only fans where they probably both get naked for money but it's
them too
next to each other no contact no i don't think they're tripping i don't think
they're doing
any of that that's cool you're playing the bills dude some guy is just
screaming in front of his
laptop and just shutting it being like what have i fucking done dude that a lot
of that
shit happens in appalachia where chicks will just grip up a real humble like
350 a month only fans
where they're like i'll i'll just put my shit up on only fans and like get some
subscribers
dude it'd be like the bottom of only fans just like maybe 200 how do you know
so much about only
fans i watch a lot of soft white underbelly no i never subscribed i never paid
for any content
i actually when i had browsers it was beer mike mcnab05 i'll never forget you
had you had the
password contents is the lowest bro waking up waking up with like a hangover
realizing you
like i'm gonna cancel this in 30 days like you let that first 30 roll and you're
like it's actually
kind of tough my friend did it once he told me oh dude i've woken up like with
like hot eyes and just
like a full hangover with like my laptop open to like cam girls jesus christ
there's a level of horny
where you're getting your wallet out and typing in numbers you know and putting
in you're like
you'll think about it like 17 times and you're like no i'm not signing up for
this
fucking shit then one day you're just like
it's like rec room for a dream where like everything's slacking
and then you're like whoa this is what i've been blocked from and then you
slowly start to realize
like it's not any different yeah yes it's like yeah no that's great paying for
points and saying
there's a level of it where you can pay to like direct you can like write a
script and like do this
that's a level dude yeah there's a level yeah but you can like you can like
write a
porn script to your favorite porn star and you'll get a couple grand and you'll
be you'll be like
do this exactly you've woken up bleary-eyed with this on your phone no no no no
just with shark guys
this is a share zone dude we don't know whatever he's saying here stays in here