Name: Ep 425 - Traumatizing Rizz (feat. WARMODE & Rone)
Uploaded: 2023-01-12T23:41:48.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 425 - Traumatizing Rizz (feat. WARMODE & Rone)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 425 - Traumatizing Rizz (feat. WARMODE & Rone)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-12. Transcript available.

Ep 425 - Traumatizing Rizz (feat. WARMODE & Rone)

the wild wild west guys we're on the pot the pod's on go yeah this is tough i
usually like
how do you go about i usually just sit here usually i've met me and billy can
make a mat
though matt gives me ideas matt just talks and i get to sit here and go what
but without mad i'm
just i gotta find why are you picking your nose like a little kid what the
fingers i was getting
that nose the place i was getting it it was on the inside of the top left nostril
doesn't matter
inside left how do you get it but like you were like covering it up your thumb's
big as to pick
your nose with yeah tiny you should just be able to pick your nose too like
hold on guys just because
matt's away doesn't mean this is going to be a free-for-all bill go ahead what
was it you're
trying to say thank you uh i'm supporting me ron don't talk over each other don't
talk over each
other no what's going on guys how are you nothing you asked yes just come up
here what'd i say dude
i can't believe you did i drop out you guys blood i'm i've changed my entire
mindset on this entire
thing yeah what so it's gonna become a pro i have to adjust to ride with billy
billy's going pro
i have to go wherever bill goes what you're a pro now bill's a pro now i have
to follow him around
or anything i do i give 110 percent except your job huh that you quit well i
was giving 110 percent
until i started working you quit your job yeah he's a pro podcaster now he's
really that's why he came
up here that's why you're dressed like this dude that's why you're dressed like
this dude
it's sick yeah it's sick this is dad's jacket stop it's my dad it's cool as i
just didn't
know you're a hipster like that and it's good i think it looks good i think it
looks cool i think
it looks sick it's got the right stitching the holes in the right places you
got the justin bieber boots
you can't hit him in the first minute you can't hit him in the first minute
first minute i already
already talked about this yeah baby billy will go down you see just terminator
scan me to see what
i can't i can't hate on anyone's sneaks dude it's just not me sneaks just aren't
me
i literally just bought boots sneaks are cool though i bought some jim green
boots because i'm trying to
get in what do you think of these boots bro you think that i could pull those
off or you think i need
to get harder hands i don't think you need harder hands you need a big puffy
jacket or something
yeah that's not us uh but yes now you're pro damn road what the i thought i was
going to come in
and if it's fine i just show up and it's like hey this is why this is why i
said i don't want to do this
be the heel this is what i am they were like don't mention his jacket don't
mention his jacket
and i was like he can handle it i didn't know billy was a hipster we were both
like don't
i'm trying to protect baby billy yeah i'm just these are clothes given to my
father
this is a free jacket given to me it's a cool jacket i enjoy it no it looks
sick and i'm saying
i'm speaking out of insecurity my own insecurity for not being able to address
you can just have fun
on a pot what is that a calgary flame i think it's like uh lancaster lancaster
flames or some
like that yeah it's american eagle it's american apparel no american needle i
think that's right is
that where the hat's from no my see how did you know that i like a good hat uh
don't look at me
i'm not attacking you i think you're doing great i am i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm
sorry i guess it's
different at barstool we're just like we're just like having normal
conversations dude barstool can't
do it so much different before we started attacking yeah before i started doing
it i was being so nice
but then i had to performatively be a dickhead i didn't mean nothing by it i'm
sorry dude it's all
good we're down in drunk islands podcast room what is happening dude we're
gonna see now he's in the
cage why can't we talk about anyone else spades here let's face here i'm very
excited about that
i might be on the way out bro why i got my snore lab app and i know that you're
tired of hearing
about it but i think i need the c-pat machine yeah he's no he's selling logs
hard as fuck dude i die
dude there's a there's an app that records it records you sleeping and then you
can listen back
to you doing that oh i can't it's hell bro it's chaos soda got one 57 percent
of me sleeping oh yeah
let's listen to seven hours of sleep four hours recordings four hours of
straight snoring is that
bad yeah dude it's 57 percent of the night i'm snoring song logs yeah i gotta
stay alive for billy dude
i feel like i snore the whole time yeah dude spade's doing the high-pitched
though yeah
i'm doing like how do you snore it sounds like a balloon i could play for you
yeah let's hear some
snoring i snore just slow down wake yourself up sometimes yeah look around it's
tough but what
can you even do about snoring i feel like it's an irreversible problem i'm
gonna probably work on my
health a little yo if you have a bmi if you have a bmi between 25 and 30 you're
that's why you're snoring you gotta get the bmi under 25. why are you coming
that chain like that
i'm not coming i haven't seen him he's there too why are you coming to me dude
now you're attacking me
he was not attacking me i'm just hearing i'm here you needed an insult i'm
connecting dots dude i hear
what he's saying this isn't like you look this is one of your battle raps all
right we don't need
to be mean to each other oh dude i'm terrified of this guy yeah he's nice no it's
because i got
i got another one cooking against the asian dude can you hear it i don't have
headphones
that's me ripping dude it gets weird
that's a lot bro yeah i'm a little right i'm sorry yeah he's butt ass naked
just exposed you sleep ass naked oh yeah do you come every time before you go
to sleep
um i'm trying not to i'm trying to save my grill i'm on daylight wednesday to
wednesday this is
yeah day seven why do you guys keep doing this why i draw the hole in my thumb
worrying about
your car so i can't i usually beat off left-handed because when i was young my
dick was
slightly curved to the left and i thought it was because i was using my right
hand so that i switched
to my left and it didn't fix it he's neurotic i just have a slight curve to the
left on my penis
nothing crazy just something cute you know so i'll be remembered by what it's
like a like a good
imperfection you know like the miles have like a mole or something yeah yeah
like a nike swoosh yeah
something sweet no no not that hard not that hard just like a is that if you're
looking like a two
by four you're like is that thing straight like i guess it isn't does at the
top i never knew this
about you huh i never knew this about you spade here i hate hearing about
anything i hate hearing
about your sex dude why because he hates he denies my ass when he was a win
dude you so what he's got
a nice penis that goes to the left i feel like that's natural i feel like that's
normal i think a lot of
a lot of people i just gotta get over it's just weird why do you have a
perfectly straight dick no
it's weird i get sketched i i get sketched out when bill starts talking he's a
bit of an elitist
because yeah dude i'm just saying you were you're hooded up you were mutilated
and i wasn't i feel bad
for you you're on demon time dude yeah it was a demon time guy like a
conservative i think so yeah he put
up a january 6 demon time and they like fired me up i was like yo uh it was
pretty tough to explain
but i'll show you it's january 6th one it's actually gonna get you excited it's
just like a comp like a
fire up compilation video like a friday beers type of thing like you just throw
him a capital
you can't use a reference like that he's off all the apps he has no dude i
never really had it
i just got rid of everything he has an iphone pro max 14. zero apps i swear to
god
that's it yeah worst than 9 11 bro that's demon time yeah yeah it's kind of
sweet it's sweet it's
like nothing to it really but just something to enjoy from time to time i liked
that video though
he's just like we can take that thing and then the guy goes and do what because
the dudes they're
doing it for real in brazil yeah they are doing it for they stormed bolson
arrows in orlando he got
poisoned they tried to kill his ass and then they're down there storming capitals
everything
up what are they swimming in the pool and shit or what lua uh the dude who got
elected is supposed
with all the communists and the uh drug dealers so they're spazzing the out
damn bro what side
are we on dude all side up billy bolson arrow obviously bolson arrow uh right
wing guy yeah they
were saying he was like a fascist uh they were just calling him that this is a
cheap shot i know i know
that can't stop thinking about that you were telling me about the soccer teams
what about them the soccer teams in europe have political oh yeah it's like barcelona's
communist
fucking real madrid was like the fascist yeah and they kind of still hold it
down what i didn't know
that yeah so uh did they only get players who are of that political leaning not
anymore but i'm sure
they did like rangers and celtic in scotland was we're doing that yeah shane
started talking about this
and it sent me down a trouble's rabbit hole and i'm probably not going to get
out of it hey
you're fucked let's talk troubles a little dude we can talk trouble yeah i don't
know about that
well i mean i don't want to talk about it i want to me and billy are going to
get to talk to some
irish that's right yeah it's gonna be sweet and upper darby for real yeah yeah
some real irish guys
are like uh true man yeah just because it's like it's very hard for american
people to understand
yeah you know what i mean the bigger picture of it all yeah i don't know about
it i only know a
little bit about the famine which was really like that was a genocide that was
a genocide
absolutely you're exactly right i deserve like i should be paid for that yeah i
mean you get real
fired up if you get into like the blanket man hunger strikers age block the
maze long cash and you guys
are going to do a podcast series on the troubles that's what i want to do wow
that's something to
look forward that's a plan next level i mean you know that's a plug yeah
professional dude
so now that you're a pro podcaster oh dude you do this what happened what
happened your job
oh me and spade are working on this is the thing this is i'm getting slandered
constantly because
i am working we're just working for ourselves now so me and spade are working
slandered you're
reading every comment i can't help it it comes on my phone it comes on my phone
i'm gonna read it
maybe new year you gotta change the setting so it doesn't email you take off
push notifications i have
no apps bro and how am i supposed to know when something from amazon's coming
you've got to get home
you'll push notifications for comments no no no just for emails because i used
to get like seven
emails a year he likes it he likes it now i have like a thousand emails a week
and it's fun because
it's fun for a little bit when you're hearing good stuff about yourself no
because the comments begin
it's great yeah it's incredible it's like people are listening to this yeah
this makes it incredible
you get one bad one you're like what the i suck there was one guy that used to
roast
he's around he's he's got to be lingering you think so use your name day one
yeah i mean all
i'm saying is i'm just going to try as hard as i can with this so if shane
calls me i'll come up
this is more of a family matter than it is this is family yeah what is matt me
and bill's family yeah
yeah matt's under the weather so you guys had to sub it you call me like dude
please no one does it
like yo i was like dude all right fine it's true no one does i want you to come
up here i want you
to get a little exposure you're the big dog now you're the big top podcaster
you're the big pro
come on you're the pro n