Name: Ep 427 - Mentalizm (feat. Oz Pearlman, Lemaire Lee, & Nate Marshall)
Uploaded: 2023-01-27T22:00:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 427 - Mentalizm (feat. Oz Pearlman, Lemaire Lee, & Nate Marshall)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 427 - Mentalizm (feat. Oz Pearlman, Lemaire Lee, & Nate Marshall)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-01-27. Transcript available.

Ep 427 - Mentalizm (feat. Oz Pearlman, Lemaire Lee, & Nate Marshall)

the wild wild west think about this for a moment if he had shuffled differently
do you like every
car be in different place right yeah if you right now lifted a few more a few
less it'd be a
different place yeah you agree if you don't feel right about like i want to do
a different start
over okay so here's what i do you're going to take the card you cut to and i
want to just bring it
close to you and look at it so lift off lift off and take that one yeah oh no
not on that one like
wherever you cut you know the top yeah bring it close to you make sure you see
it don't let shane
see it you got it yeah remember that card yeah you got it put it back in the
middle there and shuffle
them all up it's enough shuffling here matt this guy's clearly a card cheat
i don't want to touch him i don't want to see him nothing i don't want to be a
cartridge i want
you to imagine that that card when you just took it back yeah you with me and
you stuck it in your
pocket i know you didn't but i want you to imagine that right now that card is
like invisible and it's
in your pocket yep fair enough yeah keep it for later
yes welcome welcome to matt and shane secret podcast
very very mentalist it's going down who's the mentalist who knows what dude i
thought it was oz for
sure it's oz it's like somebody owes you money man who's who's who's is what my
high school gym
teacher called he's like who's oz whatever the hell your name is get in the
pool yeah that was my
experience as a ninth grader oz the mentalist i know right weird name yeah well
it's the stage name
everyone thinks i made this name up i'm like dude i would not have made this
name up oh this is your
name yeah where are you from my best stories ever is the fact i was buying weed
off this guy in high
school and and he had my name down and when he called me he's like you want an
ounce i'm like no
man i just want an eighth and he's like what says oz right here it's like your
name is ounce i'm like
no dude on my bachelor party literally my shirt say ounce that name stuck for
years that's a good dude
it's pretty cool that house that's pretty nice when i was a kid i was like
every cereal box says my name
yeah that's where i got so confident dude ounce the mentalist yeah dude that's
a good transition
royalties i'm just chiming in a little uh what uh where are you from originally
i was born in israel
hence the unusual name it's israeli whoa and then i moved to the states when i
was three and then i
moved all over the place but i mostly grew up in michigan i went to michigan uh
i saw them yeah she's
like ah first game i ever went to big house we beat notre dame no offense what
year uh was it a night
game 99. oh 99. 99 bro big house it set the record for the most uh attendance
at a football game ever
i'm sure it's been broken i was at the big house when they broke it oh really
later yeah yeah it was
the first night game or second night game night game and then they broke it
again this is just good
banter i forget my card i can't remember tennessee virginia tech bristol motor
speedway man had one job
think of a card it's impossible i've been i've been repeating the number in my
head yeah i think i
have it i think i have it you'll live you'll live i yeah but yeah i i was
watching i'd watched your
clip so many times i loved it the seahawks the buccaneers ones and then you
know how this whole
thing went down i'm at the cellar i get front table like a corner i see shane
crush it uh it was a fun
night i was like a boys night i haven't seen my buddies in forever these
college guys all went to michigan
with me we get hammered uh i'm like you i've got a bunch of kids and i'm like
going out pretty strong
that night hurt the next morning and i i texted your kids also mentalists they're
not yet it's not
genetic 642 we'll see yoga my daughter can read my mind she gets whatever she
wants man but dude i
just write to shane because this set was like he just i felt bad because i i
don't know if i want to
say this stuff here like ryan hamilton i've seen him do his set before with the
hitting the bus thing
and he crushed with it and you crushed it so hard that he took the wind out of
the room man he comes
up there and bombs because you just like my chest was still hurting my chest
was hurting and i was
like this poor guy i was telling my buddies i'm like dude this guy's normally
not about you but
him like this is so funny but getting hit by the bus but nobody can even
recover and i'm like a
i'm a comic groupie man i yeah i you know how rock stars want to be movie stars
movie stars want to be
rock stars i wish i was a comedian mentalists want to be comics not all of them
i'm a comedian wants to
be a mentalist i wish i was a mentalist i know but well thank you very much and
yeah ryan hamilton
getting hit by a bus is one of the dude it's amazing no i've been there before
i went there with my
wife we were dying we were in stitches so it's a you know a tribute to you the
fact that thank you
bombed after you she bombed i doubt he bombed but i'll i'll never forget i've
been at the cellar i
used to live in the village and i used to sell her once a week man this is when
there was no cover
charge i'm like showing my age here i'm 40. but dude we would go sell her once
or twice a week
every week and uh i one time saw mike vecchione go up right after dude's gonna
kill me i can't
remember this right but it was either chris rock or jerry seinfeld because
there's a drop-in
and dude vecchione crushed it so hard and i forgot that chris rock was on
before him and i was wasted
again running theme at the cellar two drink minimum and then keep going i go
into the bathroom and
that's the tightest bathroom maybe in the world literally like i could hold
your desk like from
right here it's very well you'd be shocked i don't think you could get it from
with your arms
your arm length on my body just with my mind it's just in my mind dude i i
start talking to mike vecchione
it's the most uncomfortable thing ever i'm sure for him because some drunk assholes
next to him like
chatting telling him how great he was well both of our dicks right he's like
please stop talking
i'm like dude you killed it you he's like let's not talk right now we're both
peeing but i'll never
forget vecchione's unbelievable dude that does help though when somebody like
that big and famous goes
before you except that it was weird for him that i was talking while peeing yes
that was it offset the
kindness yeah but that helps sometimes when somebody like chris rock goes
before you the whole room's happy
right when you guys when you go on they're like oh this is we had the time of
expectation right
right what was that you're trying to i was going to say when you guys are peeing
were you thinking
were you like oh you look you're i think you're thinking that you're
uncomfortable yeah i was i was
didn't take a mind reader for that it's gonna be tough to read his mind he's a
idiot
i'm sorry you're bright you're the butter doll
the doll with the butter i like how matt's so uncomfortable i told him when i
walked in i'm
like dude think of a card he's like i don't even know what it is anymore this
guy i know it i got
it it's getting one job in my head can you pick any card to deck in your brain
it's in my head i got
it it's right there yeah man i wrote to shane i dm'd him i just dropped into
the dms just to like
show some love and he's like dude you got to come on the podcast and like let's
do it i'm a fan i can't
believe you're a fan when he wrote me back i'm like what you know about mentalism
yeah no i mean
i i saw the seattle the seahawks video is incredible oh man that was dude it's
you know when you get
lucky like things are luck so when that happened i shot one for the bucks and
that was actually went
the worst because man that was like i think the week tom brady and giselle were
i was reading his
mind i was like something's not right at home bro and then and then i went and
we did uh the ravens
which were awesome yeah and uh lamar you know how it works at these most of
these organizations the
quarterback when they're the star they kind of call the shots behind the scenes
you can't like
tell them get the quarterback on stage you know brady does what brady wants and
lamar
was trying to sneak out because i think he was scared of me i thought he
thought there was some like
dark magic going on he got scared yeah i'm still not convinced you're not the
devil yeah
and so the more scariest thing a black person possibly encountered dude you're
a mystical jew
that's my tagline mystical jew so dude lamar lamar tries sneaking out of the
conference room
and and dude i i can see the producers from espn be like gotta get lamar
because he didn't want to be
in so like you gotta win him over you know a lot of these guys they don't know
you're gonna make fun
of him make it look silly so dude right as he's walking i'm like no no lamar
come back and i gave him
this envelope if you haven't seen this one you gotta see it just google baltimore
ravens mentalist or oz
which looks like oz but just it'll come up right away it's got tons of views so
anyway he comes back
in and it's this thing where he's holding the fedex envelope and he starts
picking people on his team
to say stuff i'm like imagine you go to super bowl this year which didn't
happen but sorry and i'm like
who are you gonna play and i'm like lamar what's the score gonna be and tell us
who's gonna be the
half-time act and all this stuff dude i don't want to spoil it but dude sure it
was bananas and at the
end of that clip i'm talking you know 75 grown men all of them like hugging me
i had a high five
down the line like i just won the super bowl on the way out it was just it was
so maybe i did see
that one is that the one where there's a correction yes yes yes yes he says i
don't want to spoil it
yes and then i did see that so that one went amazing the bucks was like so so
because the energy
was weird in the room it was like it wasn't bad don't get me wrong but like
there's a new coach
there coach bowls he was a little more strict tom was sitting front and center
like tom was front and
center did not want to be in the show weird yeah he's he's likes to let
everybody else shine man he's
like use all the younger guys yeah was that after he lost like four billion
dollars in fbtx or whatever
no no no no i see something terrible i'm like tom quit buy a lottery ticket uh
and so and so then we go to the seahawks man we were on a hot streak we did
these every two days
with espn and we get to the seahawks wait you want to hear the stuff i saw it
was awesome and and so
the way it works is you got to mic people up yeah it's not set up everyone's
like oh it's fake it's
stage dude nothing stayed i can't yeah i can't bribe lamar jackson's got 250
million bucks to pretend
to help me out you know he'll be like screw you so we get in there and we're in
the morning at the
seahawks and we're supposed to mic up a couple of guys like dk metcalf they
they try to get some of
their stars in because good for the team it's good for me and dude we get in
there and it's i'm
supposed to go on on on stage at like 9 a.m and i talked to coach carol sweet
guy i love that guy
and it's like 8 45 8 50. we're like dude where's the guys we got to mic up
because we're in a huge
room if they're not mic'd up sorry i'm blowing up here if if if we're not mic'd
up i can't like we're
not gonna be able to hear them and so i get the first guy to walk in to get mic'd
up at like 8 53
and just tell them yo man you got to sit in the front row you guys like just so
we have some
positioning for production value and i hear this oh oh i hear people banging
like this room is shaking
like an earthquake dude they're calling me to go in and do the show and and
some production assistant
runs in like puts the heads up like dude we need you now like dude we're not
ready at all i don't have
any of my briefcase dude i run in there i don't know what's go