Name: Ep 448 - Complic8ed (feat. Kevin Iso)
Uploaded: 2023-06-14T22:28:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 448 - Complic8ed (feat. Kevin Iso)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 448 - Complic8ed (feat. Kevin Iso)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-06-14. Transcript available.

Ep 448 - Complic8ed (feat. Kevin Iso)

the wild wild west hey we're live what's up welcome to the podcast what's up kevin
you got
talking to the mic are you high no i'm not high hold on god damn it kevin here
you go i'm stepping
on i'm stepping on you get a new extra launcher on let me know i'll uh uh yeah
i was just i was
just talking about we i they sent us some supplements yep i wasn't i was afraid
to take
them without consulting matthew magnesium i mean we'll get we're gonna have an
ad for it but
magnesium is the stuff i've talked about i've heard you talk about that was the
stuff that let me start
drinking coffee again and i quickly depleted myself to start abusing coffee so
but dude magnesium is a
shit you don't abuse it uh i was it's just the way you think about it no dude i'm
telling you my body
can only take so much all right paul's but my body i won't be able to sleep
like if i yeah so yeah i'm
a big magnesium guy right before i go to bed pass out you have cool dreams
pretty tight all right you
take anything else you're taking mushrooms right yeah i take mushrooms my bad i
take mushrooms as
well i was uh i was listening to the humor man podcast i swear to god who's
humans what you guys
what are you saying he was talking about uh some shit called l tyrosine i don't
know what that is it
was uh it's like a dopamine thing i don't know it helps you like focus and stay
more alert
i took it one time seems like you're on it right now
you seem alert that's how i would describe you kev i took it one time it was
like it's pretty good
really yeah i took it and went on stage i was like oh okay still slow but you
know yeah you gotta
you the slow is nice on stage it is it works i just i just heard word that i i
talked too fast at the
beginning of my sets dude i fly fucks me up i guess because i'm not trying to
not let these
fuckers get a word in yeah the beginning of a set they're good but it's fucking
gay
shut the fuck up do trump do trump right you should have a like a you should
have like a chamber they
walk through where they just get it all out you walk in yeah this is fucking
chance man all right
you're good somebody yells i love you at every show which is it's been making
me laugh i've been
thinking about the guy sitting next to his girlfriend the whole show just like
finally musters up the courage just while i'm talking i love you
they should have a thing like the scanner they go through the airport where
there's like
scream it your dad's good yeah
where's matt you and ethan do this thing that i think is like it's kind of cool
because y'all hold
the mic like this yeah yeah ethan does it ethan does it too i'm like i always i
tried it a couple
times i'm like hey it feels like i'm getting my words out quicker yeah i broke
the habit i'm back
the pc principle dude just 90 degrees that was your original i know and i
fucking went to these
wicked ways now i'm back to pc principle pc was your original that was your
most powerful pc print
almost elbow out elbow out just fucking net we do have the nastiest elbows in
the game dude look at
these elbows trippy elbows look at these elbows these are like it's like a
fucking rhinoceros dude
triceratops what'd you say your elbows what'd you say about the homosexual
community what the hell
i support them not during this month not today what do you think about all
those fucking queers
put careful dude come on jk jk jk lgbtjk
uh no they got me fired up dude what happened twitter's i'm on a i'm twitter's
getting to me
what were they doing i haven't been on twitter they fucking did a pride thing
at the white house
and this by the way no not so they're out there twerking on the white house on
taking their tits
out on the white house oh they're doing like a protest no it was with the
president he was up
there like you guys are the best joe biden bravest people i've ever met what he
was out there
yeah what's the problem with that though he was on the hair sniffers float
he was he was he's on the smelling little kid's hair float it's not look he
really was dude
just walks off the side of the floor
damn i didn't know they were doing that they got me at the white house at the
fucking
white house dude it should be red or fucking blue tie quietly on the lawn true
don't be naked
what political party's that also it was a m to f transgender person flashing
the titties that
hey not bad wasn't m to oh this lady wasn't that a female came out right away
pretty hot oh and then she or he got a picture with joe biden bud lights
kicking themselves
joe biden uh joe didn't know dude she tried to take a picture she tried to it
was a video and biden's like
they're like oh no it's a video
i don't see anything wrong i would have came up if they picked her dude you don't
see anything wrong
with it with with the with them going out there doing that i guess i gotta i
gotta show you as long
as they you know as long as they fear whether they let puerto ricans go do
their thing on their day
on the white house titties puerto rican titties at the white house right it was
puerto rican day
parade yesterday wasn't it was it titties at the white house i don't i don't i
don't i don't really
know i don't think so i don't know i went there's no way they got that i don't
know yeah no way
puerto rico's been given full reign of white house lawn parade titties that
would be more acceptable
yeah there's a little bbq out there yeah i don't i don't know anyway it's not
like it's really getting
to me but for sure it's enough where i like it's working the algorithm is
working i'm like sitting here
i'll look at it and be like you i don't like it you don't like it because
probably everybody
because of what get the proud boys naked on the white house dude yeah show
penis just five inch birds
dude five probably does have huge dicks is that what you're saying anyway i can't
find it it's all right
so you're a pro you're pro just no i'm not pro um i'm saying naked gay guys in
the white house
naked gay guy i i personally don't give a i just want to know why you why yeah
that's what i'm
trying to examine that's also what i'm trying to figure out why because is it
because everybody else
that shows up to the white house has to be some sort of formal or uh i mean or
from wherever them
dudes was from just the it's almost like i don't know it's tough to explain
dude it's hard to really
explain but someone someone like biden's giving a speech in front of like a
rainbow stage and he's
like you guys are the most brave people i've ever met in my life and it's like
come on dude you've
handed out medals of honor yeah and he's like you're the most brave and the
person filming is just like
ah you're welcome there's no there's no ounce of like oh they're helping us
yeah they're up on the
lawn like yeah in your face white house and the white house is like yeah of
course show your tits
they're beautiful it feels it feels like an agenda is what you're saying it's
fake it's absolutely i mean
it's literally a political i mean it's the definition of an agenda i mean how
you know them gay people
didn't go like kill somebody in iraq or something and then they get they this
they medal with honors
showing their titties in front of the focus it's their version of this there is
that there is that
possibility those could have been war heroes this could have been war heroes
that's what i'm saying you
don't know that the mayor doesn't like it dude he's they can't be war heroes we
got a rule against that
no we don't not anymore dude oh yeah biden biden i think biden repealed himself
biden was against
trump said it and then he just tweeted he was like trans aren't allowed in the
military oh he just
that doesn't mean anything he was the boss he didn't actually there's no law
the president's
tweet means nothing oh he tweeted i call he just said i pro i call it i call no
trans dibs
we are soldiers yeah it is fake it's a whole fake stupid thing that he comes
out
i'm just thinking i'm like that's kind of hard to prove do they check your genitals
if you they do
oh all right day one at west point down your underwear in front of everybody
they give you they
issued you skitties they issued you whitey no too because they would have like
your file from yeah
they'd know a birth certificate all that yeah all right you switch it up on
them that day one
underwear at west point is it's a sad day dude kind of skibs everyone right
wait wait they give you
issued whitey tighties you're just like oh marching in the summer and fucking
oh cotton pants with whitey
tighties it's gonna be chafe city oh i didn't know they control your undies
yeah what the
fuck you can't bring your old fucking your own boxers no hopefully patent gets
in there dude he
made his own his own underwear who the sheath man yeah general pat yeah general
pennies in there
that's fucked up i didn't know they controlled your underwear they control your
pants it's kind of hot
though are they governments controlling your underwear i can get into that i
don't mind that
everybody on the football team before you get there's like sneak compression
shorts in oh i got it i
snuck a couple in but after two days you know three days i was i was out it's
time to resort to the
whiteys that's that's for real when i quit that was my that was my ring the
bell moment
put some white tighties on i was like i'm going home
that's it son are you sure like these aren't these white tighties aren't going
to make it
sir you don't understand take them off at the end of the day they're just
destroyed
from marching and standing and farting look like the moroccan flags they are
destroyed
y'all dude i yeah did you ever try to wear white underwear recently no dude i i
tried it in college
i was like yeah i'll be fine my roommate was like bro have you worn them for a
while i was like yeah
it's no big deal same dude at the end of the day i checked them i'd inspect
them i'd lay them on the
bed and go jesus christ yeah yeah that's crazy did not pass inspection the
japanese flag is what i would
have yeah i was watching uh speaking of japanese i was watching letters from iwo
jima you ever see that
it's uh it was so clint eastwood did flags of our fathers and then he did
letters from iwo jima and it was
uh about the japanese at iwo jima and it dude they were fucking retarded why
they just they they've
killed themselves constantly really they're like if we're gonna lose we gotta
kill us part of their
culture though i know it's a dumb part of the kamikaze playing kamikaze is sick
this is just literally
us sitting here and be like all right they're probably gonna win we should just
do the honorable
thing right now and kill ourselves and each dude just takes a grenade out and
it's like goodbye everyone
it's like don't do that go take the grenade and throw it at the guys that's
crazy yeah that's it
they didn't they were like don't be a coward you gotta kill yourself right now
damn it's kind of the
opposite of how we talked about that's also a good war tactic too though just
be like yo japan i don't
know if you know this we're winning and like yeah you can't fire us we quit
they did rage quit japan rage quit constantly they were down 30 and madden was
just like this
i'm turning off the game
they're not i heard they're not showing the little mermaid out there that's
what will told me so i
can't believe yeah so i don't know i don't know if it's true or not but he was
like yeah they're not
showing a little mermaid out there because uh she's in japan oh china i think
it's china one of them
china is exceptionally racist yeah but then uh but then uh the the black spider-man
doing good
so you know what i mean it's like an m night shaman twist though he takes his
mask off at the end
and they're like whoa he's been the monster the whole time you ever see those
black uh nba players
that go over to china and then they yeah get off the bus that's just green the
n-word oh really i
oh yeah yeah they're like vicious stephan marbury loved it over there though
you see the documentary