Name: Ep 457 - Honey Dipz (feat. Tim Butterly & Naim Ali)
Uploaded: 2023-08-26T15:37:23.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 457 - Honey Dipz (feat. Tim Butterly & Naim Ali)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 457 - Honey Dipz (feat. Tim Butterly & Naim Ali)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-26. Transcript available.

Ep 457 - Honey Dipz (feat. Tim Butterly & Naim Ali)

the wild wild west damn dude they said they said it couldn't be done dude bro
how extreme is this
you need to chill so i can't dude i can't welcome to the pod dude welcome to
yet another week dude
of just gallantry pure whoa see that you ever seen three men doing extreme
sitting
you know this extreme sitting right here that slow motion goal celebration this
is what this
is what's up yeah true dude all we gotta do is subtitle this damn oh shit yo he
rode the edge
of the joint with the beans i mean it is what it is that's a lip stall his
manual meter is going crazy
right now welcome naim welcome tim welcome to the motherfucking pod thank you
for having us it's
great to be here thanks for coming man thanks for coming yes you changing uh ireland
i figured what
the hell dude it's friday visiting the motherland kissing the soil i told his
uh told his family to
kiss the ground for me and my kiss the soil hell yeah i was like kind of like
you know i wasn't
kidding that much shane laughed and i went yeah that was a funny thing of me to
say
dude what the is up not much man i had to i had to peel myself away from video
games to be here
i've been playing tons of armor core lately no way for real man no kidding when
we were in tampa i i
punished matt with speed running videos just the history of castlevania speed
running is no oh my god
it's when someone plays a video game as fast as they can so you know if you
beat a video game you're a
normal person you're like yeah dude i beat a video game yeah imagine beating a
video game like i could do
that faster okay me and my friends used to compete in that like like when
remember zelda the ocarina
of time when that game came out me and my friends was like yo who's gonna beat
this first bro cool
now imagine that and i lied and said i beat it first i didn't i got to the
final boss first he
spliced it but then i lost i spiced it bro i did i really spliced it dude so
how'd you
was it over then did you have you been have you been carrying this lie the
whole time i have no
nobody knows this until just now i've never admitted to this ever dude hey i'm
sorry swizzy
sorry michael barnum sorry jerry mills you know what i'm saying i'm bad yo i
lied about that a lot
i mean wait till the speedrun demos archive forums hear about this i didn't
know you could lie about
zelda i thought it was physically impossible i mean that's like a deep lie that's
a it's like an
enchanted like fairy forest and bro i made it to the end of the game before all
of them did i just didn't
beat the final boss so doing my first so then when swizzy beat the final boss i
really was like jealous
but i was like i did that already catch the up bro i think i did that already
but yeah did you ask him
like how did you end up doing like what was your method i did ask him and then
i went back and actually
did it i didn't even know how to do it yeah oh yeah you gotta describe how to
beat him but what did
what did you do so specifically yeah yeah that's pretty much how i did it last
week yeah yeah
i told him i lied and said that there were two different ways to beat him there's
not
there's not there's only one way to beat this boss and then the zelda bro you
told him you did the
other way you're like yeah you did that but like yeah i distracted him on this
side and then just
kept hitting him from behind and he was like oh damn i didn't even think about
that it doesn't even
work he got arm on his back you can't do damage on his back well naeem that
doesn't even seem
possible the way i did it uh maybe you'd like to show us he had your controller
and you're like oh that would
ruin with me bro and like seventh grade or some should i'd have been done he
would have told the
whole class i think the n64 is overheating dude we should probably turn it off
we gotta turn it off
because mom yeah mom i'll be right back you guys you don't have to go home
right now i'm sorry guys
i gotta leave yeah video game lying is uh a very specific form of lying that it
is so so nice it's
one of the first temptations for most dorks true the video game i felt it yeah
i know i was curious
if you've ever been tempted to video game lie oh for sure i still i mean i'd
still deal with it you
know until i get both feet out of video gaming and i'm still kind of like in
the trenches
all the time there's just temptations to be like oh yeah i killed the boss on
the first try
technically you almost did though i almost you almost i almost did take down
the armor core six
for us did your thing really crash or is that a video game lie video you know
what is your thing
really i want to present myself as a virtuous and honest man and there is video
proof of this happening
okay nice there's a video proof of the black screen occurring this the audio
continues i mean
i have nothing to defend myself did you have to go did you have to go did you
guys saw that right
you guys saw that oh absolutely and then i had people saying that like i
because i i ran it back
on him and i i that's what's wrong i destroyed this dude on the on one of my
first and a half attempt
i'm not calling the second attempt that's fair and i had people saying that
like that doesn't count
or one asterisk you beat him on the first asterisk yeah true it's an asterisk
honestly it's an asterisk
doesn't mean it's not the first attempt it was you got taken off i guess but
yeah but here's the
thing is like i have to live with this is your permanent record i know like
throughout the entire
dark soul series how you do against like the first boss like everyone wants to
claim you're so honest
for the first time that's all i have dude i have nothing else you're so honest
and this is so i can't i
can't i can't obviously i could delete the save and go back but as a person i
can't go back true
and have yeah you know what happened yeah you know what i do but it's like that
was that was it there's
it's it was for everyone to see it's my heart's open and it's like i you know i
guess i can't really
say i'm a first i'm just thinking about how all of our ancestors are going to
see
everything we've ever done and they're going to have to be like yeah my granddad
beat our ancestors
or our progeny predecessors yeah i always call them ancestors yeah yeah we're
the ancestors
yeah these are my cave drawings our baby's babies they're going to be like yo
he beat it in one
trial my video games are my cave drawings and they're going to go ah look at
this dude screen
this game this game crashed computer crashed i don't know why people had
ancestors i thought
it was like a black word true y'all ain't think answer no you only hear black
people say ancestors
we don't we don't talk about them that's a black word yeah ancestors is for and
chinese and chinese
they were the number one ancestor and natives native americans also true they
talk about
ancestors true you rarely hear white people talk about you guys that made us
feel so ashamed about
them dude yeah it's not exactly a safe space to summon them to summon them
please don't summon them please
please don't you know how mad our ancestors would be true dude yeah if i had to
be like i need help
in my relationship like your wife is what like stop it stop it yeah bro no i'm
lucky i could go back
one gen not even a generation one parent i'm so lucky my dad is dead bro he
hated white people did he
really what yeah bro he killed the white man he killed the white 12 year old
boy when he was like
no the he was 12 and the kid was 14. he killed a 14 year old huh he shot him
okay with a 22 long rifle
damn people don't know 22s can kill you oh hell yeah it was in like 19 my dad
was born in 1936 so it
was like 1940s wait what the fuck your dad was born in 1936 yeah he died when
he was
you're missing an ancestor you skipped one how old you're dead he was born in
1936 he was bit by a
vampire in 1961. so technically technically he had been alive for 40 years but
he was permanently 12.
your dad would have been 90 something right now yeah wait almost almost yeah he
died at 86. he just died
your dad's 20. so you're not lucky he's dead it's just like it's insane that he
lived that long it is
insane that he lived that long and he didn't quit smoking until he was 77. so
wait he killed a
white guy in 1947. in thompson georgia and then then my grandmom sent him to
new york what was his
penalty nothing because my grandma put him on the train and sent him to new york
they was going to
lynch him they was going to kill him i was about to say yeah i'm surprised i
was like i must have
given him community service or something yeah you know how he did it you know
how he did it god damn george
sarah's da dude yo community service soft on crime 1940 south dude
oh no he was gonna hang his ass they burnt my grandma house down oh no just
looking for my dad
that's one way to do it hell yeah where is he where is he not in here oh he's
not here we never have
nowhere to come back to well then you burn the house down you go it's kind of
like skinner's box and
it's like was he here is he here is he not you don't know you know you don't
know he could have been in
there he could have not been you don't know where he is true but no he was on
his way to new york when
he did that i do like that period of time you could do something terrible and
just go to another state
never change your name you're good bro he's gone he's gone forever hell yeah my
dad's actual name
is john but when he moved to new york talk about his name was joe that's how
easy it was
damn so what uh what was the what was the fight about
uh well he's working at a supermarket and he said these white kids pushed so
back in the day
you would take a foot locker with you to the supermarket and you put all your
groceries in
there entire store yeah well i guess well i guess you would you would pull up
your car
sneakers to the supermarket you're looking to milk a tiny referee guys like let
me know if i can help
it's like you need in the cupboard it's like what size milk do you need wait so
what so what is a
footlocker it's like a chest it's like a chest with like a lock you would bring
a chest to the grocery
store people would bring like a treasure treasure chest i mean not that heavy
at the time treasure
chest yeah similar very similar and these kids and my dad was working there and
he would like help
people put their groceries inside of the footlocker and they close it put it in
the back of the
horse and buggy or whatever the fuck they had back then and then they'd pull
the
off right wind up car
just cranking that shit in the front
yeah so then what these white kids how loud do you think he was blasting like
jazz out of that
i think oh he was dumping that shit bro yo and all honesty up until my dad's
death
really and then so he was he was filling the footlocker oh and then they pushed
him inside
they pushed him inside the one footlocker yeah and then they locked they closed
and locked it but
this one this footlocker like i guess didn't belong to anybody so he just left
it there and
then they didn't find him till the next day so he got out wait they ultimate
warrior your dad yes
they locked him in some and he was stuck there for like a day bro what hell
yeah dog and then he
freaked out yeah i bet he knew these kids played so he went up he said he like
went up in the tree
with his 22 long nose rifle or his dad's 22 long nose rifle he saw him playing
and he said he let
off one shot and hit the kid in the neck kid died headshot damn so they i mean
essentially that's
like buried it's like the fear of buried alive yeah hell yeah so he was buried
alive basically for a day
like a day did you say how he got out one of the people that worked at the
store opened it like oh
shit the fuck is this when they opened it was he like it was like there was a
running track in
there there were tons of sneakers a bunch of helpful gentlemen dressed like
officiators
dressed like officiators yeah bro damn that's wild so he who let him out way
too far but you don't k