Name: Ep 467 - El Podcast Secreto (feat. Marlon 'Chito' Vera & Luis J. Gomez)
Uploaded: 2023-11-09T15:35:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 467 - El Podcast Secreto (feat. Marlon 'Chito' Vera & Luis J. Gomez)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 467 - El Podcast Secreto (feat. Marlon 'Chito' Vera & Luis J. Gomez)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-09. Transcript available.

Ep 467 - El Podcast Secreto (feat. Marlon 'Chito' Vera & Luis J. Gomez)

wild wild west no please hey welcome matt's in texas here with chido vera and
lewis j gomez no
hispanic episode yeah we need to get us
yeah i i'm not a very good hispanic i i i don't speak spanish at all i mean i
can say like three
things i can say uh dame la leche give me the milk that was really good the way
i looked i looked
him right in the eyes oh my god if you say that to a man it's like brother you're
sucking something
well i mean yeah i guess if you said give me the milk give me the milk in
english is gay
yeah but but in spanish is super good it's really spanish like you actually
suck if you say that
unless unless you ask your unless you ask your mom like hey mom please can i
get
i don't know but even then you don't say milk yeah you say look at that
yeah and then i can uh why do you know the gay phrase it's not gay i just know
how to say milk
and i would say that's a pen right yeah
give me some head yeah all right you say comeza for no no how do you say give
me some head
can you suck it please i would say please yeah i'm a gentleman you gotta say
please
yeah exactly yeah yeah oh yeah in madrid in madrid sorry dude that just that
that blew my mind dude
that was crazy it sounds pretty spanish it doesn't even sound innocent i got
there and all i knew was
uh mexican accent they speak not even close yeah it's like not at all it's like
going to australia
you're doing like the sleepy mouse from the cartoons yeah i was like oh i mean
i need the hotel hotel was
all i could say i thought i thought i knew spanish i was like i know spanish
pretty well i got down
there they would talk to me i was like oh yeah yeah the dialects are fully
opposite in every single
spanish country and there's not even a close speaking country like you can if
you're a spanish
person you will understand everything but they have little words for everything
yeah and they all mean
something else what is what is something like because we were talking before we
got on you know
obviously cheetah's a professional fighter you're bad but certain fighters
there's fighters that are
like athletes that kind of carry themselves buttoned up and kind of like you
know this is my job and then
there's guys who are fighter you come off like a fighter you come off like a
guy who like you don't
want to get on your bad side like you're ready to throw down if somebody says
some what is some
in spanish that if somebody says to you in spanish we're like that is
disrespect and that's it it's on
i mean when you grow up as a kid like if somebody goes like chucha to madre
which means
your mom's pussy your mom's pussy yeah that's like like you you're you teach as
a little kid
you're someone anybody can say you or you're an or whatever but somebody says
that and you're swinging yeah
so it's like your n-word is your mom's pussy that's right yeah that's right but
we don't cancel any
words out there yeah ever until today i haven't heard of one spanish word that
is like you can
say you can go you can go online and go bananas and you're cool yeah but it is
like they're giving the
power to the words of with the world the world the world means nothing yeah i
mean unless you are a
real piece of shit but i haven't met one yet yeah what happens if you what
happens if you don't like
your mother because you could talk about more i'm supposed to all day long i'm
like all right you're
probably you got a good point you're not wrong about that i mean if you i mean
that's just like a
little thing when i was a kid but if you're like old enough you're gonna like
cool dude but if you keep
crossing the line and you're getting like on punching range yeah then we're
talking different
do you what is what is somebody because i i was because i talked to a lot of
fighters in my day
and it's like what is people don't often challenge you right but how quickly do
you ever think about
that if somebody with you in like life do you ever think like oh i'm a
fighter i have to hold myself to a different standard no i i step on your head
on the ground
but this is the thing that's a bummer people that's a bummer i was hoping you
would chill
people today get crazy with social media what they say but everything comes
from a fake account
nothing really comes from like luis gomez saying hey i will will rep your mom
that that will never happen
it's a guy well if you might you know i'm on my third twitter account so but
you might right yeah
you're a comedian but like that would really doesn't happen you really see you
didn't never
see a trip for like a real person yeah of course it's a funny thing to me that's
funny i i if i read
i'm like i will laugh even if it's the most up thing about me or my family i'm
like that's actually
up and i do laugh but not everybody have the same mind you know there's people
that see that and get
depressed yeah like but i mean if you if i'm walking on the street and you're
across the street and say
something i might flip you say you well come here but i will keep walking i'm
not going to chase you
yeah but if i feel somebody like really getting close to like
but like if you get close to me and you're saying you and i i mean like it
happened to
hori and leon leon going too close thinking like what do you think is going to
happen yeah like if you
get any close i'm letting it go just in case because some people are like oh i
didn't want to
punch you just want to say i mean yeah that's fighting to me yeah what about
what about getting
sued like what about if because that's the other thing you figure people are
always trying to like
great trying to say great episode for me dude keep going i mean this is exactly
what i was hoping for
look what happened to uh to hori he punched colby and he went free they proved
he started the thing
i mean you can go online saying some about some kids and them expect you to be
like honestly like
hey dude you but just because the cops won't punch you i hit you with a bat and
then i take there i take
the but i mean because if you can prove you know there's there's they gotta be
some kind of like
repercussion for whether some crazy you say yeah unless you're saying it for
fun yeah to your
friends yeah that's different but if you don't know me don't tell me my
daughter this and that
that's great yeah i don't know that's what gardini was saying before you got he
was saying
before you got here he was like i was speaking out of pocket about your
daughter i don't want to say
what i was saying dude really after that the one night we met i thought we're
cool that was a great
night that was a great night yeah that was a fun that was a good night we had
the first time we
met was good too it was a steakhouse we were getting on wine i got excited i
mean we
were leaving the fight joe is like yo you want to go get steaks i was with joe
ron i eat the liver
and i do eat liver a lot but we went to the steaks and everybody was you know
kind of
shy we're talking some shit and they don't give me some wine after and it's
like two in the morning
because the fights end late i didn't realize that we was we were there all
night like maybe four
four or five bottles of wine yes the room full of testosterone a bunch of lives
sipping on wine
two bottles of wine it was getting wild eating meat it was it was a good night
that was a good night
yeah we're gonna do that again yeah wine drunk is it catches up to you you don't
realize it
i only drink wine i'm i'm kind of good at like i know when to stop but wine
will fool you yeah like
two cups get you drunk yeah oh yeah and honestly i don't regularly drink that
type of one i i drink
natural wine we hit you harder but there's no hungover that one my wife was
laughing the next day i was
fucking my head was out of my my my brain i was up yeah the headache of wine is
crazy yeah i did
i loved you i love drinking wine dude i'm i i drank a bottle and a half of wine
last night i we did we
did that fight um yeah we did a comedian fighting event this past weekend and i
fought another comedian
and uh like fighting fighting yeah boxing we boxed each other yeah yeah holy
and uh tim butterley
yeah tim butterley shout out my my my new son yeah yeah the loser the loser is
being legally adopted
the loser is being legally adopted by the winner so we're filing paperwork
right now so i'm legally
adopting him that's why is that actually gonna happen that's actually happening
he's my son look at
his twitter right now it says louis or says tim gomez you can't uh you can't do
it you don't think so
no i mean i think you legally you probably can but no i think i legally can't i
think if he's smart he
should just run away no i'm gonna also i'm definitely cutting him out of my
will
oh i mean yeah be careful with that he might kill you and take all your money
but yeah we dude i've been just since then i've been eating everything in sight
yeah you looked you look so
handsome i put on 22 pounds in three days 22 pounds in three days i might even
exaggerate it yeah i was
like mad when i saw you oh because i was like i like fat i like fat louis that's
it i mean you're
gonna see people worse than you so you feel better about yourself yeah those
are facts
she's a bully he is a bully no i like my friends being fat i don't like them to
do well you weren't
worse than you i i see yeah which now there's like three of them you want them
broke without a job
fucking feeling sorry for them so you're like oh yeah i love this guy right
i wonder if it does that with fighters too like because like you know i always
see similarities
between like comedy and fighters right it's a one-man sport like you you know
you you're doing
for the love that there's no money in the beginning you're just doing it for
this crazy masochistic
reason you're just sort of like you know going in there to do it and i there
you come like you get
to a certain level of success where you start to go like oh shit i can be happy
for my friends right
and then everyone's like oh this is pretty good and then your friends get that
much more successful
like shane's so successful that i stopped being happy for him now i was
watching i was watching um
selling sunset with my girlfriend do this show on netflix it's a very good show
it's a very good
but so and i'm watching and and i i paused i was like babe i was like i was
like i don't know if i can
watch the show i was like i'm like i don't know that i'm ever gonna be able to
afford a 15 million
dollar house and it's kind of like i don't know if it's like inspiring me or if
it's bumming me out
and just as we paused it literally nikki glazer walked into the room to buy a
15 million dollar
house and i was like oh my god i hate my life yeah i mean that that show is
crazy they sell crazy
houses but wait you watch it too no i just hear about it oh yeah i'm sure they
asked me to be on one
like like just chill with them honestly i'm not doing that oh wow i can't be
around that type of
people they're all hot chicks smoking hot i mean but depressed that's what is
pressing you know what
it was that's like that's that's what the couple shows you don't want to see
that yeah it's i just
having that much like enough 15 million dollars for a house is is wild just a
wild amount of money
i mean that means you at least gotta have 50. i mean who knows i don't even
know these numbers sound like
magic numbers it's like bazillions dude after the first check after the first
check that's 10 grand
for a weekend you're like you're like oh i thought the top i thought the top
because i was opening for
big j for years i thought two thousand dollars a weekend was the most you could
make up until three
years ago three years ago i was like dude 2k a weekend what that's exactly what
i thought but i mean
that's that's that's the letter you climb i mean i fought for 80 bucks yeah
yeah 80 bucks i i my my
mma debut they paid me 70 bucks then for a few fights i fought for like for
free my first fight out
of the country in panama was 95. it wasn't even 100. and i paid my fli