Name: Ep 484 - Bad Boyz 4 Lyfe (feat. Dan Soder)
Uploaded: 2024-03-05T21:42:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 484 - Bad Boyz 4 Lyfe (feat. Dan Soder)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 484 - Bad Boyz 4 Lyfe (feat. Dan Soder)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-03-05. Transcript available.

Ep 484 - Bad Boyz 4 Lyfe (feat. Dan Soder)

the wow wow wes wow lemare mayor directing from this high stool i thought we're
gonna have a free
lemare episode but he's in his yeah he's in his director's chair right sure he's
not he's not
on the mic he's got a little grape soda dude his soda habits crazy right soda
right now
he always has this type of soda i've never heard of too he does from a brand
what's that what is
that it's a fitz green grape soda i wanted to try a new brand dude don't spill
that was so close to
just going nuts soda bomb it's in a bottle it would have hit the bottom it
would have blown off the top
all right well that's what lemare's up to we're here live with danny sody's
danny sody's alert austin hang
yes beautiful home congratulations on your special it's very very good thanks
dude
elite i appreciate it yes it took me long enough to put something on youtube it
was my fault
i finally did it i was like oh this is what happens when you give something
that you could share
yeah but uh yeah it was great yeah i'm gonna check it out tonight i apologize i've
i've been remiss so i haven't made eye contact with you i haven't seen it yet i'm
dead serious
we got it immediately with xbox yeah of course fusion frenzy i mean i obviously
it's not i missed my xbox gonna be fire dude i missed my xbox so much do you
miss like a family
member i missed it so much what were you just playing gone oh no that's the xbox
i missed it
the hell that was my first time logging on in over two weeks what
damn was that the thing you were the most when you got home like your bed or
your xbox
bed was nice yeah it's real bed was nice two weeks gone when you come back for
your bed
two weeks in the same hotel in new york that was were you getting cleaned every
day not towards the
end yeah last five days there don't get it cleaned yeah yeah i try to go i love
when you
catch the maid in the hallway and you go don't worry about me you take a break
you know what you
got a tough wednesday yeah skip two two six you don't need to worry about all
that cum yeah yeah
there's a lot of it yeah i've been jacking off in this room for two straight
weeks it's just crystal
caves like like homicide detectives they must have like that they've seen how
many of those
how many housekeepers do you think walk into dudes being like hey look at their
dicks out probably i
mean they walk in on every dude who just thought about it anyway yeah so every
dude's thinking about
it so at least fifteen percent ten percent yeah who pulls the trigger on that
one out of ten guys
let's see if this works i did it as a joke when i was really young when i was
really little i i
called up from room service and i was like you can put it right over there and
laid in my boxers
how little i was like 10. that's so funny are you sure i swear to god i swear
to god i think about
it all the time it's funny it's a constant one of those jokes that you were
like i wish i hadn't done
this as soon as it happened yeah pretty quick yeah pretty when i had my two
friends were like hiding
so i couldn't like bail so i had to be like oh yeah i was like super nervous i
felt bad but there's
she's just completely apathetic yeah oh dude okay the apathy was crazy didn't
even smirk she was just
kind of like put my i ordered like apple juice she just put it down nice your
friends were like yeah
that's crazy he's so great a lot of people kill themselves in hotels that
happens a lot yeah my
brother was saying his friend's daddy's stone a hotel and he was saying like it's
constant suicides
more than you think you don't want to ruin your house yeah if you're giving
your house to somebody
exactly you don't want to be like oh yeah and my uncle who owned the place did
himself in in the
guest room they should be able to like sue your estate for that yeah like an uber
thing like dude
i think it's fine i think it's a smoking feast that's why the smoking fee is so
high in case you
kill yourself they are 250 so i would end it if i were you he said they weighed
they flip them
real quick too it's just like boom in and out someone else is sleeping in that
bed the next day
someone's good you're jacking off in a room where a dude just killed himself
deathbed if you killed
yourself and you were stuck in the realm right yeah and then you're just like
oh no i didn't tell him
it's a tough one to be stuck and then you just look over and a guy comes in and
he's like you got a
witness for eternity all dudes jacking off you're just stuck at a radisson
every once in a while you
get a babe in there which is nice yeah but then she doesn't masturbate she just
cries and then you feel
weird yeah yeah i like that though too you go you know what stuck in the realm
you're just patrick
swayze from ghosts trying to hug her oh it's okay just try to change the
channel that's what you're
trying to get your power on you get stuck watching girl tv for a time or you're
like praying for a
guy to just hear mario lopez every day of eternity yeah i was waking up to that
a lot it's crazy yeah
who pez yeah every hotel has pez dispensers oh yeah yeah hey guys yeah today on
access hollywood
you know what i want to become a gas station tv star i know somebody's take
over gas station tv
you know i saw oh tank sinatra he's like a guy that uh i i know that like i
follow on instagram and
he does it i was pumping gas and he was on there i was like hey i know that guy
i kind of popped i'm
not gonna lie even more than tv i was like hey i'm freezing
hey that's my guy it's a tight circuit to get on dude very limited yes hey guys
real quick he's
like i'm gonna shut this thing the off oh man i'd rather loud i'd rather do gas
station than back
of cabs the back of cabs guys that seems like it's the lower level yeah true it'd
be nice to meet
someone who's doing back of cab tv and you're meanwhile you're on gas station
tv being like
yeah you'll get there you'll get there someday dude i was in the cab circuit
for a while you're asking
about guys randy still in there yeah that son of a will make you film anything
he's just trying to talk
shop with a cab tv guy that'd be nice to get into like strictly commercial
acting no frills back in the
day a lot of commercial actors made like money yeah like i don't know what it's
like now but i remember
my flow is rich yeah but then again that's your thing like she's just flow now
at and t girl
at and t girl no passion projects people probably you could get in like art
house films just be like
get the out of my face with that i just do corporate slogans the saddest one
was when verizon guy
switch switched up on him that was wild yeah that was bullshit that was that
was actually like i didn't
like him yeah like it did it did the commercial disservice because i was you snitch
ass bitch yeah
yeah you were repping your set hard yeah that's pretty wild i wonder what i
wonder why he was so
dissatisfied though money i think they offered him just more definitely they
probably a bigger bag a ton of
money yeah true like he was before smartphones yeah then i would say it'd be
crazy not to though
because then it's like no way i love variety yeah for sure yeah yeah definitely
yeah the thing came
out though and everyone was like that guy that was the reaction traitor dude
but you wonder if he
pulled his family aside it was a part of american culture yeah we needed the
verizon guy you wonder if
he pulled his wife aside and he goes listen i'm gonna bring a lot of heat on us
yeah there's gonna be a lot
of heat but we're gonna be okay after this this we can get that farm we won
last heist that's what
it is he did it he goes one last sellout what do you think would happen if he
came back do you
think people would cheer him or just be like like lebron in cleveland yeah yeah
he's getting a hundred
million dollars i got some unfinished business off of data plans you know bring
a championship back to
verizon please do that if this kid's true yeah please switch back up he
probably did did he he had
to come home spread went out of business probably because they paid him so much
money contract yeah
they they went got a big fa they only got a huge free agent and then he sunk he
sunk the organization
if you get a t-mobile phone number now you can get free wi-fi i think on like
all the air yeah yeah delta
does it does it that's a good one oh yeah it's good by the way it's better than
when you pay for
it when you pay for it you can't get videos and and then t-mobile's like there's
some videos up in
the air yeah you want to see some sillies like absolutely i can't handle having
videos wi-fi on
there i literally i just look at instagram reels for like manically for three
straight hours
psychotically the feeling after that is one of the worst and just imagining if
somebody saw it
i watched somebody else watched what i was doing just you jump between apps
looking at cats i
frantically switch between apps video to keep opening them keep over like
crazy and then i'll put my phone in the pouch everybody for like 30 seconds and
i'll go
it's not crazy though everybody does that i watch people i do it myself and i'll
watch people's phones
on flights and it's like text quick instagram quick down have you ever taken it
off your phone
and then gone to do it yeah that is a scary feeling real like delete the app
and then you go you go to
that page and you go like you're not here anymore but then you download it
again and put it right back
of course someone's like you got to see this like yeah you're right i got to
download the app it stays
for like three years yeah then you realize all these guys in silicon valleys
they're like yeah we've
been doing this to lab rats we'll just do this to people now yeah if you like
know how to get that
dopamine out of your part of your brain by going and like click click there you
go yeah it's got
everybody yeah dude ever i'm i'm like really paying attention to it now where i'm
like sitting
doing something my brain just like look at your phone yeah it's not necessary
right now it's like
check it out or how it's like a little snack where you're like oh look at that
i was just talking to
people phone time you know hotel you're like i'm gonna get my phone so much now
i'm really sad it's
it's because you just like take it all in and it's like eating fast you're like
oh yeah they say the
average person re it takes in the average uh or like the the data the average
person takes in is
equivalent like 174 newspapers per day that's what they say in terms of like
videos podcasts that's a
future stat like if you went back to the 60s and you're like in 2024 everyone's
going to read
the equivalent of 167 newspapers and they're like wow they must be so smart you're
like they're
ripped on it yeah they're the dumbest people ever it's frying them yeah yeah
yeah because it's all
like this guy's mad at this guy it's all goss it's a hot goss dude also cancel
culture's turned
it's evil eye now it's now gay culture meek mill's gay sharps gay they're just
calling everyone okay
oh yeah yeah because he got out in a sweatsuit he stood up weird they're like
gay
that really is the reason he just stood up weird and then why'd you stand up
like that shannon sharp
hall of fame tight end i'll go and get some more yeah they caught me knowing
some capri pants
dude they got a bunch of damning photos that wasn't my joke for the record
somebody cool said that but
by the way meek mill didn't help when he went on twitter and he did the i love
dude i love
it was the best yes i am delivered that's he full-on hit the i am delivered
i love so much i love women i do i like this new phase of mass psychosis where
we're all just doing
instead of like this guy's a piece of like he's gay and you have to be like
dude for the record i love
pussy you're in your pr team that's big this guy loves pussy so much it's
ridiculous you need to
prepare a sweet sweet pussy he had to prepare a statement he's on the phone
with the girl that
went to you pen and she's like well usually what's best is we've