Name: Ep 491 - Who Piped Carl Winslow ? (feat. James Mccann, Lemaire Lee, & Shawn Gardini)
Uploaded: 2024-04-25T19:20:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 491 - Who Piped Carl Winslow ? (feat. James Mccann, Lemaire Lee, & Shawn Gardini)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 491 - Who Piped Carl Winslow ? (feat. James Mccann, Lemaire Lee, & Shawn Gardini)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-25. Transcript available.

Ep 491 - Who Piped Carl Winslow ? (feat. James Mccann, Lemaire Lee, & Shawn Gardini)

wild wild west kick in the door i think i seen i looked i seen carl winslow
putting
that's the father ain't that the father from from family matters yes no way
who's talking this man
i seen that and then so who who's piping car diddy yeah diddy was so when when
i see when
i seen that cuz right diddy came back and he he was telling me he was like it's
nothing
more enjoyable than having a man do something for some money dude i don't want
to keep i want to
keep harping on the diddy so that might be my favorite diddy story him piping
up carl that's
the false that's fake news isn't it beautiful that he wanted the man though he
wanted the older man
from that show dude there is a thread connecting he does like those fat boys
that one produced he's
a chubby chaser he's a male chubby chaser ed sheeran was on the catch for a
while he used
to be a chubby boy yeah he likes to think he might be diddy henderson bro
he like those balls dude watching family members for the same reason too for
what oh yeah
henderson might go to him getting locked up he went he got in trouble for diddling
what beaten off near middle school oh that's diddling jason that's in the diddling
universe
yeah yeah yeah he was beaten off near middle school yeah i got that he was on
the jv pog squad
if you don't know who josh henderson is look him up right now it's funny
because we have no idea
who josh henderson oh my god joshua henderson is this black dude yes please
because there's a he looks white no no no that's not well it's funny because
there's like a bunch of
it's a bunch of l i've been pog josh yeah black dude there we go remember my
name black dudes don't
like when you shorten their name by the way no i like black people in general
if you call them like
if i call my wife brit she's like my name's britney and i'm like bro she's
willing to correct you
and he was uh it was a short stint what was he doing he just loves to pick time
he likes pogs
pog nation yeah give him give him just a just a little brother got to do to get
some sucky sucky
remember my name joshua yeah if you don't know this i mean this is this guy
will i think about
this guy pretty constantly he's just a guy he's just a guy on the street he's
not just yeah well
he's not just he was he was he was just a guy what's your type you like black
white i like white
girls more better okay no the thick time the words no one the words pog pod
that's what i like yeah
yeah i say that video again say it one more time i'll say it slow pog p-a-w-g
fat ass white girls what you like bro yeah i like fat ass white girls the thick
time
those are my kids okay yeah what's your name again bro before we go bro because
we got to go
man hang a lot yeah we ain't gonna hold you up bro with no what's your name my
name joshua hinderson
yeah he's the best anytime i'm like thinking about anything that's somewhat big
i just go let's take
time i say it in my head now remember my name till i die the curvy type yeah i
don't like the car
bro look all i'm doing is just bringing the news i don't know i've been
following the diddy story
it is crazy to have watched family matters was that show yeah to watch i always
called it urkel it's
funny to watch family members family matters and just be like you know we're
just all enjoying urkel's
antics but like just sit that young diddy being like one day i'm gonna pipe up
carl
i'm gonna take down carl wins why he was having sex with urkel no it's the dad
i'm surprised he didn't
take down urkel if he's really clout chasing if you took down urkel i think the
black community would
be like bro urkel urkel got his own thing urkel don't need diddy he's a lady chaser
yeah
you put her you put your urkel in the stefan machine to get some of that stefan
bussy dude
that's good american slang to know james what's this give it up for james mccann
by the way
james mccann hey it's great to be here what is the stefan machine jimmy so have
you ever seen
i don't want this just to be me first of all you know what you know what bussy
is right uh boy
pussy yeah all right some people try and say it's bum pussy but i have it on
bomb pussy is i have good
confirmation it's boy pussy yeah yeah but i think people are getting the boy
mixed up with like little boy
but it's actually just like gay stuff like they're just saying boy for butt
yeah oh you could use it
for a little boy i mean whatever you could do whatever you want i think if you're
in the
if you're in the bussy universe i think you can kind of use it however you want
to be you
one time definitely cinematic universe dude my dad my dad does demolition so he
was like on an
excavator one time and he's working for some guy and the dude's son was it was
like a young young young
kid that kid was like a but a boy and there was this laborer standing next to
the machine i was
talking to him my dad let the like the big like boss's son like sit on his lap
and do the machine
and this old laborer name his name was hawk he was he just sat there go damn i
know your daddy like
your daddy like that boy pussy dude this is a nice moment you don't have to
what the heck
yeah here's a motherfucker dude i know your daddy like that boy
pussy why are you thinking about that it's like a fight of words bro yeah i
should have
him up yeah he also he drove like a mitsubishi car and he always held it down
like he's like bro
these are top of the line i was like dude they make coffee makers dude they
make like dirt bikes
yamaha is the one that's the most crazy because yamaha doesn't sell a product
they sell a feeling
i've read their website a lot really yeah so they only make products that move
their heart that they
can do at the top level so they do pianos and motorcycles and guitars saxophones
and guitars and
they did archery work but they decided the bow couldn't be done at the top
level of yamaha
excellence so they got rid of it is that what yamaha is yeah they it's a
japanese company that just
is hooked on a feeling it's a vibe yeah they're basically they're just vibes
they bring the vibe
and they have a philosophy oh man i didn't know what's the philosophy that's it
it's like you take
the spirit and you a lot of it is in japanese and it's hard to understand but
listen you can do a deep
dive on the it's one of the only companies that seems based on an insane man i
feel like all japanese
companies are like companies based on like uh my feelings but they all have
like the they all have
a backbone yeah they don't change like corporate mission you're saying yeah
we have loose corporate missions over here over there they're like i'm making
sushi by myself in my
house until i die true yeah yeah honor system yeah yeah we're all about the bag
here we're all about
the bag about the bag bro yeah but now the uh there's all those things like you
ever hear the
thing like there's a word in japan that doesn't translate to english it's one
it's when the sun touches
the ocean and that feeling you get it's like yeah we know what that is it's
called a sunset
called chillaxes they act like they have words we don't know it's like bro it's
called chillaxes man
wabi-sabi that's the when you when you break a plate and you fix it and it's
more beautiful
oh excuse what's wabi-sabi i don't know i've been sounding like a
fucking idiot that's when you flip over at the massage you say wabi-sabi
i think katsurugi's particular particularly with gold and then you meld it back
together with gold
yeah i hold it i do what's it called katsurugi yeah i hold that down in my
house i read about
that one time anything breaks i get the like the super glue then i take the
gold sharpie and i just
highlight it there's a sad japanese man
not to my little wabi-sabi on it too though what words do you think we have
they don't understand
bussy no i reckon they've got bussy
they know about all the pervert words they would have yeah dude they started
the bussy they did start the
bussy maybe chivalry chivalry no they'd have some sort of bushido dude i don't
know i don't know if
they got chivalry you remember uh the man king yeah true there's no chivalry in
there well i don't
think they also like did romantic literature hit japan that was a european
phenomenon yeah i wonder
when that would have come in we were we were talking about hiroshima just hiroshima's
blowing up
conservative x really yeah it's a live issue because yes like tucker went on joe
rogan yeah and was
saying like the nuclear bomb was wrong and now all the neocons are coming out
going no it was good
it was nice yeah and that's the fault line it was good and nice yeah it was it
saved more japanese
people than it killed they're saying yeah it was for the collective the greater
good that is nuts that
is if you think about the hubris to take that position where anyone can be like
i'm talking for
the collective it's like you have no idea what the you're talking about yeah i'm
dealing more numbers
of like tens of million japanese people 500 years ago it's like okay dude yeah
you're right
you're the boss you win shut up dude yeah it's crazy to be like a big bomb that
killed everybody
it's pretty nice yeah well they're saying like yeah but think about all the
other bad stuff that would
have happened if we didn't bomb them it's an insane it's a nutso argument yeah
it's a slippery slope the
hiroshima ratio i think they called it they tried to figure out how many people
would die if they went in
because the suicides were outrageous yeah really yeah like every place that the
the u.s soldiers went people were
committing suicide so then the bomb was kind of like a guy with a noose like
hold on little buddy i got
you it's just short shot it's a warning there's a warning shot that's crazy
killed hundreds of
thousands but like dude can you imagine you nanking can you imagine the karma
you must feel like as a
society for nanking yeah like raping and killing a bunch of chinese people so
like when people start
invading you you're like they're coming for me i don't know man i've been
reading the japanese
textbooks i don't think that happened i think that's fake news
it's korean proper handling inside you know the rape is such a strong term yeah
it is a harsh word
the taking
japanese pr they took korea
reappropriation by force in korea yeah the koreans don't forgive them oh man
all right i was on the
wikipedia page for indonesian japanese relations yeah how's it going it's a
very politically
diplomatically worded they like that one of the opening paragraphs is like um
the the japanese occupied
indonesia killing you know huge numbers of people in what was a difficult time
for both countries
that's crazy japan just went through a breakup
all right the indonesians had gotten rid of or maybe like there was like the dutch
were in charge
and then the japanese came but there was like an old javanese prophecy that
like white giants would
rule for 300 years so that prophecy is pretty yellow yellow it's what is yellow
small people
is their term will rule for a very short amount of time and so when the
japanese came people in
indonesia like that's that was like partying on the streets that the prophecy
was being fulfilled
and they would have independence and then it was not good oh yeah they
immediately turned into
indentured persons forever but i just love that thing of celebrating true you
know the prophecy and
then they got their freedom so maybe it did there are some great prophecies
yeah and the festival must
have been nice too when they were like yeah this is a big party then you get
clamped down on and there
must be something kind of like a spiritual bdsm to be punished by a deity you
know what i mean it's
the book of psalms yeah yeah dude like i was just reading about the advent of
christianity and like
yeah the jews got like crushed dude over and over and they were like we're the
best we had they thought
they had like god in a room that was like the covenant yeah like that little
room in the highest
part of the temple and i think jesus showed up a