Name: Ep 495 - Pod-Cast Away
Uploaded: 2024-05-23T20:55:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 495 - Pod-Cast Away' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 495 - Pod-Cast Away' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-23. Transcript available.

Ep 495 - Pod-Cast Away

wow wow wes solo podcast man this is wow what a fucking treat shane's away on
business daddy's
gone mommy's here at home don't be bad if you guys want to be mad i understand
your frustration
i understand your anger but also that's one way of looking at it or it's like
wow what a novel
situation a man confronting his true limitations dude a solo podcast it's
terrifying absolutely
terrifying absolutely enlivening as well so you know when life hands you those
kind of situations
you either cower and run away or you face the abyss which is you know
a bunch of potentially uh very nasty things very nasty people being nasty which
again it's like
i don't really it's not that i don't care i do care that that does bother me
but at the same time
it's like i feel like this is something you just have to deal with
and it's like dude just get after it man say what's in your heart if even if it's
the negative
most nasty thing get it off your chest brother ben affleck went and died for
all of our sins for all
the podcaster sins he went up there and said hey guys stop being mean to all
the podcasters or i'm
gonna fucking spaz and he just took all i think he literally just mainlined all
of the internet's hate
for like two days and uh you know he didn't have to do that i don't know why he
did that
but i i'm uh i'm glad somebody's sticking up for us wildly overpaid podcasters
all right so first order of business solo cast i had to really think about it i
said you know what
i want to like take all of the stuff that i've been ruminating on and just kind
of that's been
floating through my head for the last like five months and i i just sat in my
office yesterday
for like three and a half hours and did an absolutely just like wildly spurred
data dump
into my laptop so i do have a bit of an outline i'm not going to pretend i can
just kind of riff
all this stuff in my head and also i i did want to kind of um i'm 38 now dude
so i kind of like if
we're going to keep meeting like this i do need something of an agenda i don't
need it every time
but if i'm up if i'm left to my own devices it's like i'm not just going to ramble
obviously i'm
going to prepare a brilliant presentation for you guys um so yeah so let's get
into the first order
of business first order of business this is something i've been reflecting on a
lot it is uh leading a
family as a father which i'll tell you it's not easy at all especially if you're
kind of like
helplessly floating through life alone and then all of a sudden you have to
lead a family that has been
that's been really difficult man because here's the thing this is this is kind
of my uh problem with it
is that i'm not gay so i have to be with a girl and girls are awesome uh
totally kick ass i i truly am
not being a dick i really love them to death i think they are essential for a
man's life unless again
unless even if you're a gay man you need girlfriends like they just it's inescapable
do whatever you want
but you need to deal with girls and when you marry a woman you have to then
take these
like you're both you don't realize it but two people are moving through life
like with all of
the force in their mind body and soul kind of entrenched in the way they're
doing things
and when you link up it's like it can be like two spaceships just trying to
dart in different
directions and being just tied together with a fucking chain and it can be a
little bumpy and a little
wrangly and so i've all i've often consulted the uh wisdom of the internet for
like dude like
what's going on am i doing this right am i fucking this up and here this is the
this is the impasse
that i'm at right now this is the fork in my mental road and kind of approach
and because you need to
build a philosophy around these things otherwise you just you know either you're
just automatically
repeating whatever you did or your parents did which isn't necessarily a bad
thing but i do think
it's good to kind of really live in as as much of an examined life as possible
so you know i've been
consulting like you know how do you how do you how do you really manage a
family because it's one of
those things like like if you start a business you would read 45 books on how
to start a business or
like a seek mentorship when you start a family it's just you as you are guiding
the lives of the people
you care about the most with zero preparation at least as far as i'm concerned
i have no idea it's like
i don't hit them but it's like okay i totally get why parents do that now so
you have to like come up
with this whole kind of like culture and maybe for some people it happens more
automatically where
they can kind of be like this is the way the werther burgers do it and this is
the werther burger way
and you know your wife was like your hometown sweetheart who's like your cousin
you know your
your mom's best friend's cousin's daughter so you guys are all in the same kind
of wavelength in a way
but no no now it's like really it's just you open your phone and it's just like
a portal to another
person's life and you build a family together and it's a it's daunting it's
great i'm not i'm not look
don't take this as me complaining or i'm not i'm just saying like holy dude it's
it is a massively
mind-bogglingly complex situation where the stakes couldn't be higher and i was
not prepared so when
i when i consulted the internet the first thing that i fell into was um this
guy's name is and i'm not
i'm not trying to trash the guy i you know i think he obviously some of the
points he brings up are
certainly valid but i think it's called like psych hack or something like
something of that nature
nature i don't know but his whole thing and he's like a psychologist so he
presents himself very like
hey you know the degree blah blah blah but then you slowly realize this is a
dude in the manosphere
who went to school for psychology which is a dangerous man dude you have to and
obviously
i'm not bragging i have my social work degree i could practice the dark arts of
the manosphere
with everything i've learned from all my readings but the one thing i'll say
because i i would like
watch this guy's videos and some of it i'm like okay i kind of agree because
this is the
this is where i think the manosphere can grab people because when you when you
do have a family
and if you're like i don't have a family that will listen up dude because you
could get one at any
minute just relax you do have to kind of divvy up like power roles per se and
they're it's not always
like you know this isn't like you know the year negative six thousand dude like
women want to be in charge too and i'm again i'm not getting into the manosphere
role of being like
those folks can tell them to shut the up i'm not but something i've learned is
like you know
babes should be in wheelchairs dude like they should be they have a like they're
wonderful
people who i think complete the our lives in a way that we can never do
ourselves but they're being
hit with a fundamentally destabilizing amount of hormones once a month just off
the bat and then
like you take pregnancy into into account and it's it's it's a beautiful thing
it's that which allows
the universe to keep going but there's some times where we're trying to make
decisions and it's just
and again obviously there's the flip side of this i get it i'm not saying you
know girls drool boys
i please don't think this is what i'm saying all i'm saying is when you're
leading a family
i'm really dancing around this when you're leading a family there are times as
a man and a father
and i i'm again i'm not trying to get like pumped up or like rally the troops
on this i'm just saying
i've learned painfully because i don't like to do this where you have to just
stop and be like i'm
the boss and it feels terrible but you do have to do it so when i when i watch
these like which sounds
manospheric and i'm like yes obviously the manosphere has an element of truth
to it or maybe like a couple
but what what they get into is this sick and twisted zero-sum game of like like
sexual marketplace
value where like if a woman's 30 and not married i see this all the time people
go online and they're
like yeah you nasty bitch you should have had kids when you were 12 fuck you
nobody wants you now and
it's like that stuff's sick if you're getting into relationships where you're
trying to like
put sexual marketplace values on yourself and be like she's 27 years old
therefore she's probably had
sex with 14 guys which it's like you're not going to be able to run a family
with thinking like that
what i found is obviously you get a baby take all of her flaws in she takes all
of your flaws in
and at the end of the day like you have to be equals but also you have to be
daddy and it's
dude it brings me no pleasure maybe it brings me a little bit of pleasure but
every now and again you have to be daddy and it's like the weirdest thing
because like you can argue
you can this you can nitpick this and well i think this i think that and every
now and again you got to
get into daddy mode dude and it's like it's weirdly erotic it's deeply
uncomfortable for me but there's
you start to develop uh kind of a sixth sense as a man and a father i love i
actually kind of love
saying that as a man and a father to when you go okay the wheels are coming off
this thing i see
it they're not off they're wobbling they've been wobbling for a couple days and
you got to go
never right before bedtime either then you got to go hey let me talk to you
real quick and just go
full daddy mode and like dude all this stuff maybe maybe also maybe my marriage
is wrapped
around some weird brat correction kink i don't know god damn it i can't start
out like this
but that's something i've been learning if you're dating somebody seriously if
you're looking to date
please for the love of god keep the final objective in mind just really really
think that the every
time you have sex with someone i'm not being puritanical i'm not being puritanical
but the
magnitude of what's happening i know like like when you're younger you get
pussy it's like an oasis in
the desert it's just you a lady is like somehow being inviting towards you
physically and you're like
it's like brother brother and i'm not saying this out of like uh you know like
dude i i don't believe
that at all i'm very happy with my life i'm happy with the way it went did i
obviously go the hard
route yeah dude i met my wife when i was 29 she was 24. i had to usher a girl
into womanhood dude
it my god it that's a thing in and of itself not going to go into details i
think she's a lovely
lady a beautiful woman but again 24 i'm 29 brother the the bridge from a woman
goat from 24 to 30 is
it's like being it's like watching somebody's business fail and you take them
into you god damn
it that's not nice but there's an element of truth to that because the a young
woman at 23 22
is literally in just it's like the fogo de chow green card everyone is going
yup and flipping the green
card up to them and then what happens is a woman has to confront her finitude
this is all like the
manosphere stuff like oh once women turn 30 the roles reverse men become more
whatever dude if
if you're thinking about how sexually attractive you are as a man don't that's
a weird thing to do but
women have you know what i i'm i'm thinking out loud to a point ignore the
thing i said the
family business isn't quite a good analogy that was just sounding funny to me
but women have to when they get older confront the fact that they're aging and
it it hits women
way harder than it does dudes that's all i'm trying to say is that i i can't
ask you josh
this is a solo podcast but i think that makes sense so everyone talks about men's
midlife crises
which men do have men absolutely have them i would venture to guess that men's
midlife crises are more
about circumstance obviously if you know if you're like physically dudes kind
of freak out about that
stuff on no level not like women