Name: Ep 505 - Pepsi Country (feat. Billy & Spud)
Uploaded: 2024-08-02T17:13:29.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 505 - Pepsi Country (feat. Billy & Spud)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 505 - Pepsi Country (feat. Billy & Spud)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-02. Transcript available.

Ep 505 - Pepsi Country (feat. Billy & Spud)

wild wild west we start we're in we're live and we're live dude what a vibe
yeah well it's not
live stream but we're we're live currently talking in real time we're up right
now bro we're live
you're out california way i'm out san jose way right now that's nice is that
south or north
uh it's like north it's a technically bay area but it's i don't know san jose
uh i don't want
a shit on it right before i come to do stand up here but san jose kind of sucks
really shitty
place is a fucking shithole stop stop stop the problem is
true gba gba for sure god bless america yeah no san jose is fine enough it's
just like
there's nobody there's like barely anybody outside it's creepy i mean this is
my second
time here last time i was here on the super bowl it was just me and homeless
people walking around
now there's a couple people but like dude it's like ghost town around it's like
kind of eerie
it's gavin newsom's california true that so happen when libs take over
dude people are buying the kamala stuff i think people are uh i think i've
never seen anything like
this before in my life matt the speed of this it's nuts dude they ran a guy
they ran a senile guy
and they got caught eventually they're like all right we have to come to terms
with this and they
just toss in kamala's ass it's crazy she she's rallying so good huh she's an
indian i look bill
i don't care what race she is all right i really don't actually yeah i did i
saw trump at the black
girl she's obviously she's both huh she's black and indian yeah but spade spade
looked into it more
bro yeah i think it's a trick like trump her dad is a marxist economist so now
you're really looking
to her dad you know what i mean so it's like an l for her but her dad's a marxist
economist 4d chess
so he's like what's his fault what's his for stanford he's trump's playing on
another level bro
he's above us looking down on the boards i mean the the problem is he did come
down hard and he was
like she ain't black he basically bought he took biden's weapon and utilized it
against him says she
he might have angels wings right now that picture of jesus guiding his hand at
the desk he's has become
reality that was a real painting i thought that was fake what do you mean there's
a picture of him
signing something and jesus is like guiding his hand yeah that was an act of
god i've come to the
full conclusion that that was an act of god look someone tried to take his ass
out i was listening to
sean ryan and eric prince talk like the blackwater dude he's like i don't i
know all the snipers and i
would not trust a single one to take that shot and clip my ear so all the blue
nines that are like
dude it was a it was fall it was fake they like just hit his ear on purpose
like that's
crazy obviously that's not real they probably have whole plans in the works for
him being dead but he's
still alive it's up their whole now they're trying to say like they're trying
to create the assassin
but trump's supposed to be gone like when they killed bobby kennedy they like
slowly rolled out who
syrian syrian was yeah who's serum serum again oh he's a palestinian christian
he's the guy who shot bobby yeah okay yeah yeah yeah yeah i mean
what do you what do you guys think about the drone and all that stuff there's a
drone circling it and
like he's going to a rangefinder and had a drone and then a ladder and he was
running around on the roof
they were following him yeah they watched him do it every time this happens the
fbi just says that
guy was on our radar yeah you know what else you know what else i'm at those
penn state cops were there
hey what were they doing i don't know but they up on joe joe bonnew bro i was
about to say they
should they should just be in the locker rooms dude forever they should just
stay in the showers man
yeah dude he's uh trump daddy's back dude it's uh i don't know man i mean i don't
know if camala
the black journalist i watched a little i caught a little bit of it man when
that lady was being the
ladies being nasty to him he's like you're nasty you're 35 minutes late because
you can get yourself
to work dude if you watch that he's kind of killing when he's there like people
are laughing
cracking up yeah yeah dude he kind of best thing to happen to for black people
presidential-wise
since abe lincoln bro and i love how they challenged that too like what about
lyndon what about lyndon
johnson i heard someone like what about lyndon johnson it's like dude you can't
try to play these
games with them they actually lyndon johnson was pretty cool hilarious thing
too they try to
come at him with like yo don't you think vance is weird he goes it doesn't
matter who the vice
president is it never matters bro he dogged pants too but she's a vice
president it's a slam dunk oh
that is a 40 slam dunk how come vance is getting hit with the weird because he
went to pride parades
and he's a weirdo no they're doing that because he went to pride no it's not it's
the exact
opposite they say he he's furniture i heard he's furniture yeah everyone gets
curious he was hold
on who among the couch yeah obviously the pillows counter in their bed between
couch cushions that's the
juicy type i mean apparently you put a dude you put a latex
that's the juicy type he must have a wad on you bro i'm just saying man you
ever hit them between
the cushion matt what are you hitting in that hotel room dude i've blessed i've
just blasted it i've just
blasted it i've never no i'm just saying if you're ever trying to fight you
never try to find like
change in the couch and thought like bro this is this is a juicy type this
couch this couch can have
my money bro this couch can have it yeah i'm more of a morning waking up and
just
sit on my stomach and hump into bed until i wake up like my butter's huge no
man just like what do you
wake up you got like a p-boner yeah like dennison couldn't get bigger if it
tried the people must
be 15 inches p-boners disastrous for morning sex yeah so like i actually just
have to pee we gotta stop
the whole time like i've never been harder i have to pee so bad it's gotta be
and hit her with the ultra
load just be like oh fuck this is squirting oh fuck this is dehydrated
spade is grabbing his movie theater butter it's disgusting so gross
spade's face looks solid sometimes sometimes my piss is like amber looks like
someone mixed jello in the
toilet i'm not healthy it's the color of your energy dude sleepy joe was in
austin
fuck him shut down dude he shut down he shut down the whole city i was like
trying to get home and
i couldn't for 45 minutes because they for some reason decided to spend yeah
the dead one or the
alive one the six foot six seven britney grinder with white hair dude they shut
down the whole city
you see that boxing match with the tr or she's not trans with the what is that
she's literally not
trans supposedly she's a woman forever she just had something where like her t
levels were real high
t levels beat the fuck out of that it's illegal to be trans in albania
allegedly they said that is a
chick who just like fucking had a lot of t in her growing up all right
apologies sorry i even brought
it up so it's a point of personal privilege you grew up right wait so that that
wasn't a dude
everyone's calling that person a dude i don't know i think it's literally just
something to make
people why are they doing this with the olympics it's outrageous and crazy yo
that olympics
fucking opening was up i don't care what you say this was up it was against god
yeah yeah what was
that what was that all about it's called they're trying to flip-flop it dude it's
satanism yeah
it's the version of what's right you know they're worried though they're
worried about the enhanced
games i can't you see that you see those two dudes bill i saw that dude on rogan
that dude was
fucking zesty too yeah bill said a guy's ball was hanging out on the olympics
yeah not allegedly it's
real so there's a picture it was like right next to a kid how's that weird it's
like it just is like
that's weird like somehow jd vance is weird because he drinks diet mountain dew
but some dude's nuts
you just bought it in their psyopero what they got your ass they got the
blender they got you bro
obviously it's weird just don't fucking talk about it i know but what time out
and do
no diamond dude sucks i don't even diet anything diet soda blows it is funny to
be worried about
your sugar intake but still need to do the do like i gotta do the do in some
way it's just brutally white
trash it is i think we would get that my mom has diabetes really yeah my mom's
scott malkinson she has
diabetes we always had diet dude i just never drank soda i've never drank soda
ever dude yeah dc is
nasty people have like legitimate addictions to that died dr peppa though you're
not is it good it's
not bad ddp ddp yeah after a party dude we'd have like a we had a refrigerator
down our basement there'd
be like 15 cokes and i would just run downstairs crust and then come up for
dinner bro when vanilla coke
came out oh all those i love that they had vanilla hershey park i was going
nuts on them pepsi went on
the dumb and had blue pepsi that tasted nah bro pepsi kona was the yeah and
clear remember crystal
clear pepsi yeah blew my mind oh i was thrilled what are they pepsi or coke
over there they're pepsi
everything is the opposite everything it's all powerade and pepsi powerade
powerade's good as
shit over there burger king power they got burger king yeah they love burger
kings yeah that's a bad
sign for a country they don't have mcdonald's coke and gatorade really it's
rare interesting dude
pepsi country is real it's a sign you have like you're in a bad country for
real no i'm dead serious
i mean i might have a pepsi neighborhood the history of pepsi's pepsi's like a
traitorous
company they would sell pepsi to our enemies when we were like world war holy
shit yeah pepsi tried
to like take out coke during the world wars because obviously coke was like
there on the front lines
supporting the soldiers they that's why that's how we have the international coca-cola
like factories
they built factories so they could supply the troops like during world war two
pepsi guy
dead pepsi was over and like the soviets were drinking pepsi everyone was like
coke i mean i'm kind
of a pet i thought the soviets were like you said you're i always favorite i
always favorite pepsi
yeah pepsi did the germans have coke i don't know do not have coca-cola i think
they were
something that pepsi they were pepsi boys yeah little crazy guys they got a
little pep there was
another called uh what the hell is it uh something sport it was like a car all
sports all sport all
sport bro went hard those were so good i made weight i made weight for like the
90 a's football
team at byc and then immediately crushing all sport post game pixie stick just
gave you a
fucking cramp oh yeah yeah pixie sick that's like damn all my drool get it
would just pile in and
i couldn't get any out i'd have to break it with my teeth fucking insane they
gave us you ever snort pixie
sticks no no dude i know i know sickos they used to do that in grade school
they're all that goes
no one lives one oh by by the way excuse my excuse my biohacking device guys
don't mind this oh is
that the aura that's my water ring right now you're a huberman dad bro i'm a
huge dad dude
it's wild again why do you have an oral ring full human optimization yeah i'm
biohacking bro monitor
your bio at the right age of 30 so wait what is it are you referring to my uh
my biological age of my
cardiovascular system because if so 31 thank you oh are you serious but yeah
you guys can laugh all
you want but um bro you're a young one damn look at this guy's daytime stress
plummeted when i came on
chill with you guys dude obviously yeah you guys just took me right down to how
whacked out you were
before you got on the zoom
i actually i had to walk back fast that was why physical stress counts too ye