Name: Ep 507 - Nakey Vacation (feat. Billy, Spud, & Charles Blyzniuk)
Uploaded: 2024-08-09T21:23:38.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 507 - Nakey Vacation (feat. Billy, Spud, & Charles Blyzniuk)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 507 - Nakey Vacation (feat. Billy, Spud, & Charles Blyzniuk)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-09. Transcript available.

Ep 507 - Nakey Vacation (feat. Billy, Spud, & Charles Blyzniuk)

wild wild west if not it's recording on here and we can do how podcast should
be audio only
audio only you know you know i like that yeah i'm tired of people commenting on
my physical features
yeah i don't like that you should take a picture and then like hold it up like
a still image yeah
and then just the audio yeah i don't know even my nicest photo destroyed i got
ai myself they've
been doing that what's that they've been doing that ai and me no no ai and like
major things that are
happening right now oh nice like what come on harris's event they've oh yeah
they're coming out
saying like the is an ai generated image like look at this massive crowd and
just ai generated
the leah core center's got me fuming bro it's like against the law right they
did that with taylor
swift they just tried to bomb a taylor swift oh the chiefs taylor swift was
nice what they made
like a really hot picture of taylor swift oh yeah like getting like spanked by
chiefs fans
you know it was good that wasn't real yeah i jacked off no it was like yeah it
was i saw it briefly then
later on i was like i'd like to see that again just for research on this yeah
they find it they took it
down what the hell they took it down and they like had a congressional hearing
about it or something
it's like against the law to make like or they're trying to make it against the
aren't they
or like make uh you can't like it seems too close to being able to like draw a
nude that's what
i mean it's bordering charlie hebdo you could draw some nudes oh yeah you're
talking about pictures
like you ever get a picture you ever see yourself when uber eats takes a
picture of you oh
i have like holding the bag like a big game hunter
that is third time today case is in two marinas please
oh wait they keep them in there dude i must have a gallery
yeah i've saved a couple of just like long basketball shorts yeah the guy's
like let me
take a picture of you i'm like you're making fun of me and he's like no i have
to do it for the app
yeah logging into a like airports have those where they just take a picture of
your face
the camera's at a desk level it's just you going
driver's license just got my license again really oh another brutal photo
insane photo yeah oh yeah i
showed you my and he was like do you want to retake it and you got to be a man
you gotta go no i don't
care no it doesn't even matter just have that for the next six years i did that
with a
retarded dude by his parents yeah the one the one you got to put that all the
way to him bro don't
be don't be scared to tug on that arm you know it's all special needs by your
parents yeah yeah dude
took my picture and it was so like i'll i gained like 30 pounds in the pig and
he's like is that good
i was like it's good man thanks yeah thank you very much you're doing i drove
for like five minutes
in like a swirl being like that's what i look like
yeah i see myself in pictures all the time it just kills me i had to take
something this morning
insane for what i just woke up and got coffee and people asked for a photo oh
and it's a
selfies you just see your own face like right when you look at it you're like
oh look so you just got
punched in the eyes yeah just the fattest swollen face going that's why he
crushes that hood dude
yeah i get the full face zipper and just beast out everywhere actually might be
nice i got some brutal
photos and like brutal photos from that uh oh that was so bad just i mean dude
yeah spade he was the
boss was behind him bruce rinksy yes holy yeah they uh dude i got so up i got
so up from not sleeping
i was so up from not sleeping when i came back from my trip and i got a little
drunk at pool right and
dude late at night like i was so wired ej was like how are you still awake dude
and i was like i don't know
and we're just talking and like uh this is i don't even know how to put this
into words but i was so
like tired and emotional i started talking about this like thing where bruce
springsteen was dealing
with the vietnam vets during born in usa you know and i was like trying not to
cry just telling him
about a documentary now this is where i get emotional we're talking about the
boss and i was like getting
all in my feelings about it i've had that a lot lately i got hung over an
emotional this yesterday did you
cry i was close and it was the most embarrassing part revenge of the sith with
badass love you i
can't go with you and i was on the couch going this is really good acting now
natalie portman's like
really good yeah i just i don't know why i just been like i don't know if it's
like 5g or i'm just
becoming softer killing our testosterone i like i like i don't know maybe reggie
and stevie are just
making me soft but i see now and i was like yeah yeah you love your dog you
love that i'll kill for
them i get destroyed by puerto ricans every time i take them out on the day oh
my god
oh and zeus was dying and i was crying i go what's gonna happen man and you're
like you're just gonna
get up it's gonna be another day dude what's your problem i was a kid man yeah
you were a little
fucking dickhead i was just having fun years ago you were a little hard ass how
would you feel if you
were me i was constantly getting my best pal's dog was dying and i said we got
to get nervous obviously
it's sad i gave him some days to grieve i don't want to think about them dying
i think about everyone
dying just against me
it's nice there's sith rules
when obi-1 goes to get them yeah that's tough it's nice yeah or use blizz's mic
that might be
easier oh yeah yeah blizzards anytime spade starts talking just put it in his
face pause you said
bill's anakin dole's anakin dude yoda or obi i want to be he claims obi's so
hard you have to be yoda though
fucking dude trump got endorsed by uh moss full-throated
where'd he do it that's what he said he's like elon musk supports me full-throated
trump the hook's starting to say some wild stuff he's getting old he's getting
old he's getting real
old that's what my mom hit that where it was uh i just like that the speech he
did with all the black
checks and said they were 35 minutes late amazing and he was just like well i
was like i just like him
because he just doesn't give a crap it's like yeah my my grades a real renegade
that's what i want
out of a president obviously dude walls is a freaking freak i don't know
anything about walls
hate him stolen valor a guy like you here's stolen valor i could never stolen
valor it's a felon
merch harris walls merch is like tree camo yeah real tree yeah the the non-binary
are trying to take
real tree back mossy oak and real trees like in their gear now that's all that's
only for
guys like us it's only for hunters like us yeah i've never shot yeah a rifle
it's only for blue-collar hunters we're in tree camo holding up the uber eats
if i have that
pussy crying during revenge i would make a face like i took a shot if i had to
cut a deer
i'd be very sad dude it's gross it's disgusting disgusting when they're
hanging in the garage getting a deer and they're like dude it's great beef jerky
and the beef jerky has
like hair wild bill's beef jerky is good as a guy in my when i worked at a car
dealership at once a week
during deer season he would bring in deer like he'd bring in like a crock pot
of like isn't there
like a nuclear plant near youtube yeah there's yeah just the worst beef jerky
on the planet jammed
everyone's just deer with six heads yeah i was just talking to a dude about
that he was like he lives
in the one up near like levittown or some and i was like bro do you just like
stare at
that thing and just wait for it to pop yeah it's fun to stare at but like dude
that's
scary every time i cross that bridge i stare at it i go oh three mile out i get
excited everything i
say oh the mighty susquehanna that's every time me and spades every time i
drive over it i go the
mighty susquehanna the mighty susquehanna it is mighty dude it's big and mighty
i like big rivers
there's no denying a good big river what do you think about the axe bro
fully modded fully modded telecaster no no no no no no leave it up there it's
on it's not it's not in
tune full fully model telly hold on let me tell you that how sick the axes were
there was some sick
axes bro i wish i went true dude it was it was it's like you forgot mine or
something i'm not gonna you
know it's a cool experience so i'm not gonna dude you don't have to be ashamed
of the fact that you got
to go to the zach bryant concert well we went twice me and blizz went to both
obviously because we
were there friday and they were like the boss is coming tomorrow and it was
like well i guess
you know we had a couple drinks i was like i'll definitely be there woke up
yesterday or uh
saturday just hurt i was like i gotta go back to that again then you know you
get there you get a
couple slides you go oh balls and illuminators you can be on there what's the
difference between being
on stage with you just doing sam comedy and live music that has to be like eons
better it was the most
uncomfortable i've ever been bro it was were you drunk even watching i was no i
wasn't like hammered yet
dude that's like going to a wedding and being like come on get on the dance
floor
times yeah 90 million and everyone else has a guitar and can just go air guitar
bro you have to
i hit an air guitar for about five seconds and then most of the time stood
completely upright with
my hand in my pocket while everyone else was dancing it was it was crazy you
just keep getting
in these situations there was like two solos before you it's like two guys like
wailing on
like a banjo you know what i was just like facing out away from the you ever
see that you like jim
morrison did you see the dutch national team soccer team where they have like
special needs yeah yeah yeah
yeah there's a bro with downs in front going yeah i was literally doing that i
was standing on the edge of
the stage by myself just going whoa look at all this and then i turned around
and it was bruce springsteen
was right behind me playing a guitar and he was like yeah and i was for real
like oh yeah
just holding back throw up
people with my friends were down there like dance i could see my friends like
you gotta do something
you should just start air humping they started asking security they're like can
somebody get him
off stage you're a body killer he's scared my friends they're like he's up we
gotta get him out of
i would melt dude it was yeah hold on i'll show you a video of it well i guess
after
you can literally see me going i always thought about that because like i'll
watch videos like stevie ray
vaughn perform and like so the stand-up must feel cool when like you go out and
everyone like freaking
freaks out but if you're ripping through a solo on cocaine i don't think there's
a feeling that comes
anywhere close to that no dude that was me the entire time oh my god bro it's
kind of sick though
yeah i mean it was the coolest possible but then you went home and watched star
wars and cried next day i
watched star wars and cried allegations on you dude the allegations are strong
i want someone to just
make a highlight tape of you meeting aaron judge going out on stage and
everything it's getting
worse here comes the boom is for real getting significantly worse i just don't
know what to do
in those situations and everyone else has a guitar also yeah you think you know
the words to
the song until you get on that stage oh no there you go i have no idea where i
am everyone else has
headphones yeah they can hear where you're at in the song i had nothing i was
just up there like they
wanted to sing yeah you have to sing the one part of it but then they would be
like come on jump in
and sing the whole yeah it's like i have no i don't i'm like just the wrong lip
sync is the greatest
movie i had nothing but wrong lip syncs the entire time dude it was so bad you
got it the ashley simpson
dance and then they had they had earphones 