Name: Ep 510 - G.O.U.T.E.D. (feat. Lil Stinkers)
Uploaded: 2024-08-26T19:13:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 510 - G.O.U.T.E.D. (feat. Lil Stinkers)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 510 - G.O.U.T.E.D. (feat. Lil Stinkers)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-26. Transcript available.

Ep 510 - G.O.U.T.E.D. (feat. Lil Stinkers)

the wild wild west hey we're here welcome to the motherfucking podcast john dolcalo
michael
rainey and james matera aka the little stinkers what up dog thank you for
having us dude thanks
for coming and doing this man sorry you get all walter walter cronkite on you
with my sig dude but
it's no it's a natural progression for you brother yeah it's a good look i'm
dude i'm so happy i
found these things man they're a little like uh i was telling you guys they're
low th i've been
it's like george washington weed it's not just cbd there's it's like a it'd be
like seven or five
they might be five it's like five and then it's like eight percent thc they're
like little
it's george it's my george washington weed man you smoke it you just think
about the constitution
nothing crazy you're like yeah dude we should probably you get just high enough
to be like is
slavery bad i think i'd be kind of fucked up people like dude what are you
smoking bro are you high
it's about time the tables have turned yeah these are the anti-newports yeah
well i'm
big like some of the weed now is like 45 percent you're like yeah it's like
smoking like crack yeah
exactly it's like i'm good on that yeah now i'm gonna be able to make eye
contact with my family
until thanksgiving yeah so you guys are in austin oh for the week yeah we're
living it up uh gouts
already flaring back up dude oh yeah yeah are you guys all gouted he hasn't
been yet i am not of all
of us it is funny it's like the online goated thing it's like gouted so you're
not gouted dude
no god's cruelest trick is that we got it and he didn't unbelievable yeah i
kind of resent you for
this like if there was a gout pool amongst the three of us yeah i mean i'm yeah
i'm seabiscuit
of gout yeah so what what how is isn't gout like a lactic acid build up in your
toe or something
it's uric acid uric acid that's what it was and it crystallizes and typically
goes to the lowest
extremity he had it in his ankle i had it in my penis first because that you
had gout in your penis
yes did you get any gain did you get gains at all no no so did it hurt all the
time or just you got
hard no it was nuts man well no i didn't have it in my teeth but i uh initially
like i thought i'll
believe anything right initially like i had it oh you're saying lowest parted
body jesus christ bro
maybe i gotta put the fucking george washington weed down dude i'm a bad boy
mode we had we had
fucking barbecue two days in a row man oh yeah so when the gout starts popping
up yeah man it just
like what do you get you get a little feeling you go no dude i mean john jokes
about like it's when
god breaks your foot in the middle of the night but it did feel like that
because the day before
i thought it was i was running suicides on the basketball court with my son and
it was hot as
shit so i was like it has to be related to this whereas it was related to the
hoagies that i've
eaten every day for the past 90 days oh so how many days you have to like de-gout
yourself
be a good and gouted up i was uh i was gout heavy the end of june up until
about two weeks ago
it lasted a while easy length of time yeah i had it in disney too which was
yeah dude that was my
jordan flu game going to disney with fucking full-on gout it's like an std you
probably weren't alone
right yeah i gave it to my wife it's like the jeep wave of disney world
waving from the rascal scooters just do you think it's an std kind of thing
yeah like once you get
it you can't undo it right i mean there's not a better but you're yeah if it
happens to you it's
likely to happen again i guess it's like shingles to chicken pox like it's in
your body
okay yeah you gotta fly straight forever what's in your body though just the uric
acid the acid
crystals the crystals and it takes forever well some people it goes away within
a couple days but
with other people who just continuously eat like they're fucking kids with dead
parents it will
persist man yeah tiny gout trolls in your body yeah how do you uh how do you
turn what if you just
didn't eat for two days would it go away or you gotta you gotta flush it out uh
i eat cherries by
the pound um cherries is the treatment jerry juice uh it's a gout awareness
podcast yeah i want to
know thank you to all the boys in the gout subreddit for fucking saving the day
because as soon as i got
it like i went i had to go to urgent care because i don't have fucking
insurance yeah and i went there
the lady's like i think he got gout she's like yeah just take uh it was an anti-inflammatory
take
this and you'll be fine and drink water and i was like all right cool and i
just wasn't getting
better and i was getting closer and closer to disney so i was like oh come on
please help me out baby
please i need something here and uh yeah i went on the gout subreddit and they
were more helpful
than anybody else because people there were recommending what kinds of other
treatments like
there's a gout medication you could take which i didn't end up taking but i
might resort to that
if i get another flare up you know just knock it right out you guys should try
a muzzle
so that you stop eating so much most people get it from drinking a lot says the
fattest person he
doesn't drink so that must mean his fucking shitty food intake is worse than
mine oh yeah what's what's
a day run me through a day what's a day like now i will say this because i
remember you said a while
back if if every meal that you taste good every meal that you eat tastes good
you're gonna die
so i do the opposite of that dude yeah everything i ate dude i eat like every
meal is a roman orgy
like today i treated myself well i treat myself every meal but i treated myself
to a bagel with
extra sharp cheese with uh fried eggs and a little bit of leftover sausage from
from terry black's
it's pretty good so that's my starter and i'm sure we're going to get mexican
at some point today
yeah and then at night time uh i got these uh mickey mouse school fish crackers
that i've really
been snacking on so what's setting off the g though is it the meat i never got
a clear answer
more than anything in my case like i i live like down the street from a primo's
hoagies and that's
one of my favorite hoagies and like uh i'll eat one of those four to five times
a week that's a lot
of process jesus christ primo's four times a week i know man yeah i mean you
know it's like everywhere
in delco everything is on the thickest bread yeah like you can't get away from
it everything is so
bad yeah it is like the worst food on the planet i think dude it's outside of
philadelphia
suburbs outside of philadelphia is as probably the most unhealthy food yeah if
you're in california
explain to people like friday pizza night they're like what are you talking
about they don't understand
that's insane yeah people are like would you eat pizza every friday night like
that's fucking crazy
that's like it's pizza night dude i have to yeah it's custom when i lived in
california i lost 50
pounds and i wasn't even trying to lose weight it was just there was no bread
yeah so it was just like
you know fucking i'd have like peanut butter and jellies from time to time but
like besides that
like no sandwiches like anything we get on the east coast we're so spoiled that's
where i gained
weight did you really i was following food trucks until they parked i was i had
a problem
i was like getting there before the guy yeah do food trucks have their own like
mr softy theme for
each one no i'm just listening to the mr softy theme in my car pulling up you
gained weight in california
that's interesting yeah i was skinny uh weren't you depressed yeah did not like
i got a vitamin d
deficiency in the sunniest state in the fucking country how is that possible i
never went outside
i stopped going outside unless it was unless i saw a food truck what did you do
on my app
uh smoked weed and then drove past an open mic but was too high to get out of
the car and actually sign
up now i've always wondered this about you because you went to california you
went to hollywood
and uh was there ever any time where you considered making me living as an eye
pervert because you have
the most beautiful eyes i've ever seen no one ever approached me about it that's
not we have a
halloween decoration and i swear to god it's supposed to be a peeping tom like
someone like looking into
your eyes and i'll show you when i go to my house it bears resemblance yeah
yeah it's got such a creepy
christmas ornament no no it's halloween okay it's for halloween can i say
christmas yeah probably not
i might have said christmas either way george washington's got me fucked though
i swear
to god it looks i'll show you when we go home you'll see it's it's like yeah he's
crossing the
devil i didn't think about it till now i was like holy shit it's a wait a
second you look like the
guy who looks into my window i'm just a decoration every time i walk by i'm
like oh i'm gonna do it
when i get to your house i'm gonna look in the window it's looking into your
own house yeah it's
a thing looking into your own house and you walk by you're like oh like fucks
that stupid
fucking decoration yeah but you want it to look yeah yes you're right maybe
people are looking at the suction cup on the window
it's just it should be for other people shouldn't it yeah yeah your blood
pressure's gonna plummet
turn this fucking thing around so dude you guys are here uh are you studying
the rainy street
ripper or what what's going on are you we're gonna do some research on them you're
sitting next to
him brother yeah dude it's so cool that we do a true crime podcast and it's it's
not fat girl true
crime it's fun true crime um it is kind of exhilarating that we go to a place
where they have
a ripper named after me i know it's like man what an honor yeah it's like uh it's
like anthony
bourdain getting a dish named after him true yeah well somebody had a theory we
talked to
yesterday he said it's just people falling into the river is that right yeah
just like
drunk college kids yeah i know nothing like manny young style falling into the
school yeah but
apparently there's never been two years seems like a lot of fucking drunk frat
guys to fall
i think it's up to like 20 now though damn whoa yeah my only theory is maybe it
was the kit
maybe dudes are hitting ketamine just being like i gotta find water i'm so
thirsty yeah true they're
not really getting up the whole lake i'm gonna go paddleboard i'm gonna paddleboard
out of
this k-hole yeah you're right it's not the kit there goes that theory well it's
a lot of it's a
lot of it's a lot of uh they say it's a lot of uh gay guys yeah even though
there's not a few women
women who are gay men women can be pretty gay yeah women can be pretty gay
sometimes
women can be gay men it can be anything these days although that might be like
the ideal afterlife is
haunting a lake with a bunch of other gay dudes true what is he wearing yeah
you're just
nobody's coming out of the river with like a bullet in their head right like it's
all
are they choked any of them i don't know the details felt around the neck very
strange yeah
yeah i don't know the deets but i i don't know that's apparently though the
number of people
who have been found in this river if i'm correct have spiked it's not it's
usually not this much
am i right about that josh uh three uh yeah four bodies recovered so far i don't
think that's a lot
i thought it was like 20 people over like a decade oh what this is not a
fucking murderer
these are dumbasses people are just running running away with the theory yeah i
thought this was 20 in
one year yeah it's just gay dudes with paid balance true this is true i mean it's
fucking hot as the
goddamn sun here maybe they're just trying to cool off and then they realize
once they're uh in too
deep that they don't know how to swim yeah that's classic this was like a
classic uh way of suicide
in the 30s you just jump in the river if you wanted to kill yo