Name: Ep 518 - Daddy's Home (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O'Connor)
Uploaded: 2024-09-22T20:59:24.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 518 - Daddy's Home (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O'Connor)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 518 - Daddy's Home (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O'Connor)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-22. Transcript available.

Ep 518 - Daddy's Home (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O'Connor)

wow wow west gerby's yeah via con man it's good to be back matt's out of town
although i'm out of
town but matt's i think matt's on i think he's in turks and caicos really yes
but wow in bigger news
the return of the group the return of the gruel king he's back yeah what the
what took so
long well what do you mean i asked you 9 000 times oh no you didn't no no no
but first of all i retired
twice i did retire twice what do you mean you're retired from the podcast yeah
officially yeah
because matt he's got gruel in the rafters
you can't retire i did if you're allowed to you're allowed to yeah hiatus i did
the first time it matt
titled a gerby swan song i think and then when you were like dude yeah i was
like i got nothing i
don't know you know what am i gonna say that's how it works you got nothing you
thought we thought we
had nothing and then in the car gerby's accidentally spilled the beans a little
what he was telling me
he was at wawa and he was talking to amy from the show about how he wanted to
wear these nice patterned
pants and he was like all right here i'll let you tell him misrepresenting the
story i i am i not
allowed to address the okay yeah you can address them well no i won't do okay i'm
done but direct address
back talking to the camera what a showman well no because it's so i had ordered
a sweater off of ebay
because i it was like a lacoste sweater it looks awesome i had it worn around
shade because i don't
know what he's going to be there yeah you know uh and then she was saying you
should wear it with
like patterned pants do were you there for that i i was like i was on the other
side of the room for
this yeah yeah i thought it was for golf i thought you were going to go golfing
it no with your you're
just wearing it it's just casual yeah patterned pants what type of pattern no i
i i didn't even want
pet that's what i'm saying i didn't want patterned pants oh it was being thrust
and she couldn't
comprehend like the death sentence all right and before they think i'm an it's
like that's good
you need the checks and balances which you acknowledge because without me you
this is what started the
conversation he said without me he'd be a jewelry man yes he'd be wearing rings
and now and then he
admitted he would be wearing bracelets car ride home he spills the beans about
what type of bracelets and
he's thinking johnny depp style he's talking tons of like leather bracelets
which insane and then he
also spilled because all right we're in the car and i'm playing music and i
realize steve there's not
one song i can play and then i realized steve must not like music and he was
like yeah i'm not much of a
music guy i have tried i've got tried to go through a fan i tried to be like
what do you listen to i do
the same thing i get this guy in college and he was really like fish and disco
biscuits and i like
tried to go to a jam band that sucks it wasn't my scene no that sucks it's like
a lot of that dancing
like this yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but then i realized the only song i know he
likes is pirates of the
caribbean theme song yeah and he wants to wear johnny depp bracelets he wants
to be johnny depp so then
it gets worse because i'm like you just want to dress like johnny depp he's
like no i don't second
later he goes i did try the bandana wrist he put tied a bandana i didn't go out
with it i just put it
on just to see what it was like this was like years ago walk around the house
he tried to wear a bandana
bracelet exactly but the the thing about the same choice i want to i feel like
i'm not that far off
from a bandana well first of all the i recently i almost decided to just listen
exclusively to movie
music like theme song music and yeah i understand rap takes a toll on you yeah
you drive around it's
literally talking about jizzing in your girlfriend's face all day and just like
yeah it's as close as i
can get to actually listening to classical music is just listening to thomas
newman songs shawshank
redemption soundtrack well listen and i do think about jewelry every once in a
while but it's so not for me
i've never put it on well i want to go back i do agree with the first statement
that it's important
to have a shane in your life and for friends to you don't want to yeah you know
yeah if you were out
here in westchester all all by yourself if we weren't doing tires yeah you'd be
wearing a bandana bracelet
at this age no i don't think so i could i know be out of control yeah without
the fame and stardom
has gone to your head no yeah how's it going away what do i have on my wrist
you got that tattoo
you know if i had that that's 20 years old how dare you all i'm suggesting is
it is true i remember i
think like at least the time that stands out in my mind was i had made a video
i put it on youtube and
then shane was like you wore that shirt because you think your bicep looks good
in that shirt and i was
like no but yes yeah it wasn't necessarily the shirt it was the way you were so
he was
he was doing like a handyman youtube channel and then one of the shots was him
laying on the bed like
he was leaning on the bed flexing his heart like no that wasn't the shot i was
shaking flexing i'm
sitting on the edge of the bed it wasn't all that but this it was a very funny
show though it was good
don't try and throw me off killed her no i swear but what was it i think
everything you do is good
i really want my dad in his retirement to start a handyman youtube channel
just leaving the camera rolling beating off in the room it's a seven and a half
hour video
he jacks off twice
just keeps jacking off behind the shed
it's a goddamn philipson oh man but patsy if you're gonna tell me you don't
want to like wear a ring
occasionally i don't want to wear it's never rings it's never rings it's like i
do i think like a
necklace what you would wear like a v-neck and have like yeah you'd be weird
and neither of us
neither of us have the body type for a chain you don't have all the shoulders i
have a hunched over
neck half the chain would be laying flat on the back of my neck it'd be bad it
is funny without
shoulders and wearing a bunch of stuff on your wrists and just i know i didn't
want to bring up
the shoulders but the shoulders with the giant it wouldn't be cool it'd be like
if you wore a
bracelet like that i would think something happened to your wrist if you got
super tan and shaved your
head you'd look like a yeah it doesn't work a street fighter guy i tried that
um shaving the head yeah
yeah no i've i've like a i've like an old saint christopher medallion that my
mom gave me when i
was a kid and i want to make a necklace out of it every once in a while i think
i i will never but i
do think you wear like a nice thin necklace i know but it's like it's a whole
new guy you know what i
mean i know i'm not that guy yeah and the thin necklace also on me looks yeah
crazy yeah and so you
go swim i've gone swimming wearing a necklace i look insane yeah it's not good
i always think of really
insecure dudes when i think of the chain with a medallion it sounds like we're
the ones that are
the actual insecure ones i know i know but i get to put it on like who do i
think i am i can never wear
a necklace no one would care it'd be i never want to watch in my life till i
got this now i
i see the i see what that's about i feel like i have a photo that i it's like a
breaking case of
an emergency if i ever need to make something up to you what photo when i shave
my head let me see
it no absolutely not please why because i look first i look and say but what
the plan was i was
gonna like you this was like facebook time era yeah yeah and i was gonna uh
like say put this post
that's like i'm done trying to fight the hair loss like you know yeah and it
was wearing a shirt that
said real women suck dick oh my god that's a joke and so i had that photo and
uh it's something like
i'll show it to you yeah but my hair so just to because who gave you a shirt
that said real women
suck i bought it offline you're such a pervert no no it was a joke i know but
um my hairline is like
so thick right up front yeah and then it's thin yeah so when i shaved it i
would get like a five
o'clock shadow like here you get a little rinaldo yeah is that what it is well
no it's just a soccer
play that did that oh i yeah look it doesn't work for me i thought i could do
it i've been on this
podcast bragging for years i'll go i'll just go bald like a man yeah you start
staring it down yeah you
go yeah this is not gonna be good i thought i'd get jacked or something if i
was going bald and fat
i got a haircut the other day and the lady like like showed me my hair from the
back
it's not good i'm getting hair i was like good for you are you i'm not gonna
bring it i'm not
i'm gonna just stop it where it's at that's fine i'm not gonna get like a hairline
no go all the way
back it would bald no no i'm just saying no get a lush i don't like when people
do that i like when
people have fake hair and an old face like a wrinkled face with a hairline it's
crazy no but it looks so
good no it doesn't yeah the pros you gotta go to turkey or whatever no i'm not
no matter what i'm
not going to turkey no of course i wouldn't go to turkey no you did like
somebody's stuff around here
i heard the best guys are overseas but how could that be i think it's just the
cheapest oh okay
i would yeah i would want yeah i had to yeah i don't know i'm not i i probably
won't ever do
it out of laziness yeah it's never too late right yeah it is you can't go bald
and then get hair all
of a sudden yeah you can i mean you can but it's it's crazy it's tough now it's
wild to not have hair
i think that's what you should do just be let it go
to my eyebrows
it would be like if louis got hair yeah it'd be up looking sick i don't know
like he's back he's yeah well gerby's it's amazing to have you come out of
retirement
no thanks thanks for having me on what have you been out sexually what have you
been up to
don't you know i bring you over here i need to know about your sex life yeah
yeah i mean it's
exactly what you would imagine it's the same old tricks same old tricks perhaps
a few
but no but i can't but you are the only the only thing that i you know what
discovered what did
you discover just that different women have different sensitivities on on oh in
the script
it's real that's real how did you find that out research or through open
communication the better
yeah so what did you discover through open communication in the bedroom uh that
different
well i mean are we so well we'll just write something else but different sides
of the we can
yeah that's fine clitoris are are sensitive for different women they'll be like
one side some
ladies are like i'm a lefty yeah i didn't know this yeah and now i'm thinking
about my own dick and
whether it's lefty or righty mine seems like a middle yeah yeah yeah just a
middle guy
pretty sensitive in general it's equal spread yeah yeah uh all right well good
we got that out of the
way you still talking dirty do you have anything you want to share about that i
don't want to share
how do you like living in westchester i love it yeah this is very nice
incredible it's so nice
it's actually a little too nice i know it's so cozy Austin i know it's hot i
don't know it's hot
okay there's no truth this is there's not this is doesn't exist there
interesting yeah rocks and dirty
trees yeah you don't realize how much of this is like a party until you like
leave it okay you know
i'm a northeast guy you are a pennsylvania guy obviously i'm a pennsylvania man
yeah i don't know
this is like when i went to spain thinking i'd be hemingway yeah i went to texas
and immediately was
like nope i like it here but this is not for me i don't belong here could you
imagine being someone who
actually traveled by like horse and wagon down to texas and then and then go i
brought all my friends
and then that's probably why they just kept going yeah which is like no it'