Name: Ep 522 - Rock N' Roll Synagogue (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O'Connor)
Uploaded: 2024-10-15T21:55:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 522 - Rock N' Roll Synagogue (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O'Connor)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 522 - Rock N' Roll Synagogue (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O'Connor)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-15. Transcript available.

Ep 522 - Rock N' Roll Synagogue (feat. Steve Gerben & Chris O'Connor)

the wild wild west the sunroom it's beautiful here but i i don't want to
we'd have to bring it like a couch in
this chair is phenomenal it's game day steve it's a comfy chair yeah it really
is great but even
even in that chair you can only get maybe four hours of college football done
that's a lot
you gotta lay down that's why yeah you need you gotta elevate the legs you
gotta lay down for the
eight o'clock games okay especially notre dame stanford's gonna be a nice
boring one
my new friend is watching this yeah i guess this is the games today your new
friend is watching
football today i'm making all sorts of friends at this country club you're
making friends at the
country club they're just like very so you made a friend at the country club
today and they told
you they were going to watch college football later today was the first time
are we are we yeah we're
recording oh yeah we are recording yes hopefully we weren't this is not the
first time that we've
played this was the first time we scheduled to play together and you guys set
that up you said hey do you
want to play together yes yeah because it is actually if you could if you're
playing with people that
aren't you know like man they're like man children or stuff like that like you
could play with like
real bummer what do you mean by a man child like like grown men that get like
really upset when they
start playing poorly oh god yeah really uncomfortable i thought you met dudes
that were out there having fun
no no drinking a little no like do they forbid that at your country club no no
no some guys very much do
that get hammered of course that's not me i i love it you'd have such a golf's
fun when you're drunk no
no no no it is for a little bit and then your game falls apart yeah didn't you
i feel like one of my
favorite stories of all time was you not playing and getting drunk with your
friends my friends had a
very serious golf competition they split into two teams and then me and my one
friend o'leary who
wasn't playing just drove a golf cart back and forth watching them just getting
hammered just
screaming at them while they're playing they got like really they became man
children
like my back swing dude shut the up you hit like a 120 for real shot like 120s
and i was like
you can't be upset yeah yeah that's it yeah like you just put the cart in
reverse during the backswing
it's so good that is the most fret the backswing thing drives me crazy
especially when i like i've
never played with anyone who's nearly good enough to be justified yeah yeah it's
like you're not that
focused and you're not that good yeah but for that noise you would have no so
anyway but you made a
friend i did yeah he's he lived up to expectations yeah he's just like cool i
have like one other
friend that i made more friends yeah so tomorrow i'm gonna country clubs like a
dog park weirdos
uh you're meeting friends no no no no i was like normal you know yeah so hold
on what were you saying
before we got started about you said something about sex oh well because you
were talking about tim waltz
oh tim waltz being called a pedophile on the internet today so what is that
story i don't i don't know
i don't think it's i you know it sounds like it's it's just a tweet so you
never know i would say it's
definitely not true but who knows it's those guys seemed he's got a little bit
of that face going on
that's a tough one i don't i don't subscribe to that at all because i think i
have that face
no no no no no if you were chubby yeah no if you were chubby you'd look up yeah
you got like dark
eyelashes yeah it looks like you're wearing eyeliner i know insane i i know
people like occasionally i get
accused of that very seriously what wearing eyeliner oh no and there's no
talking somebody out of that
yeah yeah this guy here here's the source you pour water on it what do you do
you can't you just go
like dude i'm not but then you also don't want to justify you know right right
right feed feed into it
this guy said okay tim i guess now would be a good time to drop my october
surprise you remember him
right the real person you walked away the real reason you walked away from
teaching the kid who spent the
night at your home the one you went to the gay bar with the reason the school
board had a meeting
about you what do you think tim should i drop that now or should i wait another
week or so
you know the student you were having sex with the male student you were having
sex with they don't
call you touchdown timmy because you were the football coach oh wait you lied
about that also
you were the assistant coach what do you think tim you remember the indigo
girls concert right
the gay bar spending the night and of course the school board meeting i think
it's time tim
touchdown timmy you were touchy all right did i write this
this is really good who was that like a school just rewinding your special
write it this uh that was from the very reliable black insurrectionist i follow
back patriots
that's a reliable source does he follow you no i don't know i didn't check i
didn't check although
he might have got a follow from me after this that's quality work touchdown timmy
but he's right that
is the one thing that bothered me stealing head coach valor is crazy he said he
was a head coach and
he was assistant yeah he was assistant he was a high school assistant football
coach maybe you want to put
one of those guys at the white house those are literally the biggest reads tim
waltz yeah
the vice president yes
oh yeah i forgot your red bill
i thought you guys were talking about like a coach for a football team no no no
no we're talking about
touchdown timmy walls yeah he was a coach for a football team and he looked at
the state championship
it was an offensive driven he's offensive coordinator they made this video
where it looks like he was the
coach oh no okay oh sorry this is not good for podcasting but watch
oh look at that ball they found the one clip of him
touching kids like he won like he was the coach
he did maybe maybe the the head coach was just kind of a figurehead you know he
was like he was
like late days paterno i think he was gay pedophile could have been the
defensive coordinator touching on
timmy walls that's a tough allegation was he the d coordinator i don't know i
hope not for his sake
a little sandusky action for you what does a head coach do a football team it
depends
on what they it varies okay sometimes they're the play callers sometimes they
call the defense
sometimes they don't do either and they just kind of make the final call on
things interesting
so like yeah yeah like i don't know i don't know if marcus freeman for notre dame
calls
plays plays at all i think he was denbrock on offense and golden right he
probably helps with
the defense anyway i thought he did for i thought he like took over last year
or something calling
defensive plays or something i don't think alcohol was pretty good yeah yeah
now what was the sexual
thing stephen because we were talking about timmy walls being possibly a gay
pedophile right what i was
saying because you you had mentioned that there was something he was taking an
lgbt club from his high
school to china with him on some trips allegedly these are all crazy
allegations he's going to thailand
what was it black patriot black interactionist sick name i was just i was
saying that uh it's very hard
to not fool yourself into what you're doing to have sex with people
that that didn't come out right yeah yeah not trick yourself yeah to not lie to
yourself about what
your actual motives are to really it's like i'm trying to have sex with
somebody yeah and then you've
got all this the only thing i can do is put together an lgbt in the fucking
china yeah i hear you you're
like i'm doing this is a good thing yeah yeah just in the back of your head and
then you hear that in the
back of your head and you go no yeah that's not me that face so i don't know
like uh i was you know
gonna have uh sex or what he gave me the he kind of lingers that his girlfriend
was coming coming to
visit yeah so i was a little conjugal and then uh he just kept making that face
it to me did you see that
trying to burn it just in between takes i was like when you're performing oral
sex i said steven are
you gonna i think you were getting makeup put on yeah yeah yeah steven are you
gonna perform oral sex
tonight and he was like yes it was like when you're doing it i want you to see
this face
but you powered through and no and i didn't even power through i totally forgot
about it because i was
soda and then after i was coming out of the bathroom i was like yes because
then i thought about it and
the woman heard yeah when you were cleaning she said why did you just say yes
yeah do you remember the
story about matt like how you found out that he got a flashlight which was like
yeah you guys were
sitting and then there's ups showed up and he was like yes i go what's that
nothing they ran to the
door he goes i got a flashlight i got two of them do you want one i was like
yeah that's great
and then we both went to our chambers and when we emerged we both kind of
quietly were like
this is too powerful you gotta get rid of these things i've never actually used
one
you would go nuts holy can you imagine what he would do yeah he loves devices
do you the way he puts like his phone on like a thing you'd have that thing
attached to something
what this would be get rid of that mic things yeah i don't mind but that i
wonder if you could attach a
fleshlight to the boom arm i'm sure you could now we're talking just you should
you should ask touchdown
timmy walls that might be one he could answer go to a town hall and be like
could you attach a
fleshlight to a boom mic there was no yeah i don't know i'm gonna knock him out
the hole he does get
crazy who's gonna win who's gonna win hey it's a coin flip
it's a coin come on bro if it's a coin flip you know they're stealing it
we're gonna be shooting it's close we're gonna get the old 2 a.m oh we found
900 000 votes
i'm gonna go if you challenge the election you're a piece of dude it's the day
after the election i
feel i hope it's just all b-roll just you put yourself on set oh man i don't
want to i don't
want to reap the whirlwind yeah true oh yeah we're gonna be on set yeah it's
election day that's gonna be
that's gonna be so fun yeah either way if trump losers i'll get to make fun of
you i'll be like
nice going dude you ruined the country right you got fuzzy on your cheek
no it's been good tires has been great tires has been incredible you've been
incredible but
it's yeah you've been incredible it's a week but it's been a fun week nailed it
god damn you forget
how hard to actually working is yeah i i feel like the biggest of all time i
can't believe you're
actually doing it if i was like at your level i think i'd be like guys i'm
sorry i gotta be honest
i'm starting to be like i'm not coming in and i'm yelling at these poor people
that are working there
i'm like dude why would i get here at 5 30 in the morning yeah i that i like
those long days i have
that in the back of my head where i'm like he doesn't need to be doing this no
i do like you're
asking somebody to stay to party too long you're like 12 hours i definitely
need to do it it's it's
the best but the you you that first day 5 30 wake up i was great i was like the
first day yeah i was
like this is gonna be for four months i'm gonna kill myself stav's been so good
yeah yeah schultz and
tommy were great everything's good so kyla's been killing oh my god yeah if she
wasn't asleep she'd
be on the pod we might be able to do this yeah you too yeah thank you yeah true
didn't say chris
did we do that at the premiere yeah yeah just literally we're just up there he
was he was done
he was it was full panic mode but also no one was like oh yeah o'connor yeah he's
chris was just
sitting there at the end they just brought up like a little stool for me you
know uh t