Name: Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)
Uploaded: 2024-11-12T18:04:44.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-12. Transcript available.

Ep 528 - Magic Burrito (feat. Nate Jackson)

the wild wild west oh hell yeah nate jackson dude making it easy for me bro you
got the name tag on
it's awesome
shut up to work just a little narcissistic jacket my bad dude so i um i saw
your your clip and i
think you took it down with a freaky ass little boy uh i don't know i think it's
up is it up i
couldn't find it i was trying to show my wife that's like air eating yeah with
the kids like
licking he just keeps looking yeah so that's still up i thought it was down
because after i watched it
i was like oh maybe he has like a like a tick or something no he didn't have a
tick what was he
doing he was just a badass little kid that saw himself on the screen and he
said the same thing
i would have did if i was a kid the exact same thing i'm like you know what i'm
saying literally
yeah i remember he was with like an older i guess it was his parents or
grandparents yeah and he was
just eating it was just like the focus then you're talking to i think his
grandfather and he just this
little kid started just going yeah that's pretty funny though either way i'm
telling you no i'm
i'm doing like two to three oh so it got buried that's right there so freaky
ass little boy freaky
the young freaky that's right there for sure it's right there people are like
they had somebody just
randomly decided that he had tourette's and i was like he super didn't and i
before i didn't somebody
wrote me they're like i think he did dude hey all clips associated with keaton
are perfectly fine to
post and i was like wait but who's keaton they're like the little boy freaky
ass little boy they had to
remind me and i was like oh okay bet oh so they got the okay they wrote me it
was like just so you
know it's okay to use the yeah it was watching he was doing those little faces
and but nah man
that's what that's what i thought i thought he genuinely did have like a tick
right and
but have you also seen every other little black kid that sees himself on the
screen
you know what i mean he got one response and he was like oh here we go
he started wigging out true dude look he was there you know he was there and he
was licking
the air and it did it did like change because it was i was watching like what
the is this
kid doing and he was just licking the air and then once you start talking about
him he started like
he was killing going that's what was happening he was murdering the had timing
and everything
every time i had just any little gap or a pause of me taking a breath he was
like let me fill that space
and i'm not looking at the screen i just see the i see the explosion i'm like
what am i
missing i turn around and there he is with i'm like oh hell no yeah he was
young too man he was
like five i don't know how white people do that yeah when they bring a five-year-old
out
it's like the casino you see the casino literally you probably did the origin
story of a comic from
2055. true well thanks for coming bro no man thank you for having me appreciate
you for coming here
um you said it's real bad really no i i've been on the road for hell of days i
flew i could have been
home right now i know dude i really appreciate that and i came back because i
wanted i'm here
for this i didn't think yeah i was like when you were like going like hey i'm
in austin for something
else and if i swing through no i flew my ass here from a gig to be here to do
that i wanted to do this
i appreciate it it's a big deal thank you man this i'm i'm feel i feel blessed
to be here yeah
dude we're forging a connection i feel blessed as hell i feel more blessed
right now dude i'm
my ass is wet dude i'm just gonna go the other way see how it happens do you
see what i'm saying i
know i actually do get freaky as hell by the way are you in that you know we're
just jumping in
how freaky would you say you are i don't look i don't give a shit there's a
spectrum to freakiness
right i'm saying how freaky i mean it really is gay is the end of it you just
get gay at the end
that's gay is the freakiest yeah but isn't that that's a new spectrum though
right yeah but i mean
it's the tip of evolution straight from like let's say one to ten and then when
you hit 10.1 now you're
gay it's like the evolution moves in a spiral it just jumps to a whole
different but then there's
another spectrum again what's when they hit 10.1 on the gay scale where do they
go i think it's when
you start like eating women and stuff like eating their legs i think once you're
done being cannibalism
yes like sexual cannibalism just based on the recent i just wonder like where's
baby it depends
what it's like a bullet depends what you do with it a bullet you could just
give yeah like a bullet
by themselves or like nothing it just depends are you shooting somebody or
jewelry yeah right so it's
like so i think baby oil depends what you're doing if you throw it as hard as
you
can you're still not gonna do anything the bullet you're saying yeah exactly it
depends on how it
depends on your intention so baby oil again you can give you like what else
would you throw as hard
as you can rock okay i thought you're talking about like your dick or something
but so if you throw
i do throw that as hard as i can to little effect usually
okay so straight freaky freaky freaky freaky watch out you know went too far
yeah exactly but you can't get
back down into the free you can't once you go over people are doing it though
milo yiannopoulos was
like a famous gay guy he's not gay anymore what little nas x claims he's not
gay anymore
you can't he suck the devil's dick dude he did it you can't you can't un-gay i
i didn't i don't think
you can either but these guys are doing it and they're making millions dabbled
in gay no you can't
yeah you can't you can't go back but you're but white guys kind of really play
with that like a lot
yeah we're gay definitely for sure like check-in and white guys we got your
dick like you guys
we have fun with you guys are wild i will say and this this is actually this
could be debatable but i
feel like when black guys do become gay they like really quantum leap into like
very gay does that make sense uh i don't know i i think everyone's channeling
the same black auntie
that's been my experience why is a gay person from austin seattle la chicago
germany why do they all
sound like yes bitch why do they all sound like even gay white guys do it gay
white guys go they'd
like jump in on it too or every flight yeah dude yes that's true sugar can i
get you something to
drink sugar yeah you're like why is chad you're a 29 year old white guy why are
you talking i think
they think just from being gay they get to just like take the whole menu and be
like i'll be a black
lady too i'm gay i'm looking right but nobody's like a gay old white auntie
true do you understand
what i'm saying yeah like when they want the razzle dazzle yeah they do yeah
they don't just like
sit at like a kitchen table quietly smoking a cigarette they all sound like jennifer
lewis
i don't know why that's been a recent development no it hasn't really they've
been as long as i
know really channeling the same voice god same auntie same snaps yes yeah why
is that really i don't
know dude you're from wisconsin yeah you guys don't snap yeah that's unless you're
calling
cattle or something yeah yeah that's uh they need to hear about that they need
to stop that if i
see another if i see that again uh if i see that happening i'm going to be like
because i
my wife i'm not like bragging whenever my wife's black somebody deal but like
she'll get those
guys fired up on the airline huge deal as far as deals go what my wife's black
no big deal moving on
her hands aren't though on the inside so that's the part of the letter she gets
them fired up she sees
gay white guys in the airplane she'll be like yeah and they just like she turns
them up manchurian
look at yo okay serve it exactly exactly yeah you're just sitting there like oh
my god she fires them
up they feed off each other but i think what are you doing while that's
happening i just have my
headphones on looking down and i'm like i tell her i'm like you know stop
getting the gays fired up
like i mean there's an entire pokemon having an evolution in front of you and
you're not going to
watch that what do you mean i tell her i'm like dude you're getting these guys
fired up you don't
want to see that have you been watching pokemon because that's it when i was a
kid that's a deep
jigglypuff song is a deep cut yeah i mean i got no stuff i'm watching pokemon
again right now with my
whole thing yeah it's so good dude i'm watching with my kids but they need to
do live action
you mean like the live action movie i know they have like the pikachu movie
where it's like an old
dude's voice but i mean like why not the battles and stuff i dude i don't i
would love that pokemon
it holds up i'm re-watching it and i'm like this show i was right the show the
game yeah played on
game boy no the one where like you have to catch them in real life on iphones
where people were just
like in random field where people were getting hit by trains and i think so
dude they also said that
was like a spy app they were like using that to like see everyone's location
because if you had
millions of people playing that you could be like sweet and zoom in anywhere in
the country and what
do you do with that information just be chinese with it i don't know dude just
do your
man i guess to like what is the point i don't know i i that's that kind of that's
what i don't
understand about the tick tock stuff either i'm like the that they want to know
about us yeah that
we can do this all day yeah they tell xiao ping they're like they're doing a
soldier boy
right our rich aren't on tick tock what do you want i i wonder the dumbest of
us have them i guess
that gives them ability because that would be almost just too much if you have
millions of people and
you're trying to like yeah it'd be just a bunch of people like so yeah i guess
you're right i kind
of uh i don't know what they do with that send you an email yeah or try to like
just see what you're
up to but yeah you'll just be catching pokemon so yeah i don't get it that's a
good point because i
hear about that all the time because they say we have more surveillance here in
america with ring
doorbells and all the private stuff than the whole chinese government but again
really yeah they're
saying but it's all just privatized with all through all the ring doorbells and
stuff interesting
yeah i bet if you had access to all of them you could go straight which people
could do that and
that'd be that could be like you just set it up to where it's like you don't
yeah exactly you don't
you don't watch it all at once but if it's like hey i need to see right here
right now you can be
like go through a bunch of metadata and like okay we have all these phones in
the other state matter
of fact i saw um when they tracked the they tracked like four days of the guys
that killed young
dolf before they just went back and they had him for like four days like this
is what he was wearing
kid was on the same outfit for like three days really yeah oh yeah all the
cities now they use all the ring
cameras like just tracking every move like they would walk out of frame and
then a new camera would pick
them up like they had them tracked yeah dude and then cities have their own
grid so between the
city's grid and the ring doorbells it's like you're done what's that show where
they let people try to
get away now you seen that no it was like what do you like they give you like
24 hours like run what
yeah you gotta like i always wanted to do that you can stay away you get like a
million bucks from like
the police or like any like the point of the the show is that they're gonna
look for you they're
gonna get you wherever and so you think of the place that no one will ever find
you and they're
like come out what yeah we saw you on the ring camera so you can like just
ditch your phone ditch
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