Name: Ep 529 - Weed & Gambling (feat. Saagar Enjeti)
Uploaded: 2024-11-19T21:31:36.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 529 - Weed & Gambling (feat. Saagar Enjeti)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 529 - Weed & Gambling (feat. Saagar Enjeti)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-19. Transcript available.

Ep 529 - Weed & Gambling (feat. Saagar Enjeti)

the wild wild west we're live saga thank you dude thank you for coming thank
you for having me i
like your setup thank you man thank you it's it's uh it's since i'm in politics
you know i kind of
think i that's what i'm saying i i uh i vibe with the set more i think i think
it's a good look for
you too i think you look good on that really there's something now i feel
really self-conscious
i should have worn my suit the only reason i didn't is because i'm going out
after this you
know i'm like going to be about the for sure you don't want to be walking
around austin texas just
sweating i did it yesterday after lex friedman's podcast and i was getting a
lot of looks you guys
both wore suits yes we both wore suits that's that's kind of nice but he's the
black suit his
is different he has like a uniform he does and i like to change it up he's like
an alien fighter
he dresses like will smith exactly it's kind of there's something nice about
that i've always
wanted to do the steve jobs thing where i wear the same thing every day you
could do it i think you
could do i feel like i could i know one guy who's been wearing all white for
seven years and i might
jack his swag in comedy do you think it is useful to have a uniform or no
because i noticed that
comedians have been getting very like fashion forward yeah and sometimes i'll
go to a set and i'm
like honestly what he's wearing is kind of distracting me right now yeah i don't
understand
why i mean i have like a loose uniform it's just jeans usually these sneakers
and i just switch a
plain color t-shirt that's fine see that that's not just that's like uh that's
comfortable i could
see that working but sometimes i'll see these guys in like crazy ass gucci
stuff yeah i'm blinded
by you right now i can't even hear what you're saying i never understood that
too because it's like
dude you're supposed to be making people laugh you tell me i don't know it's
your it's your
profession i i don't know what it is i see people go way fashion forward on the
stage and i'm kind of
like dude you're kind of it's just like a distraction totally and nobody cares
nobody cares i totally
agree it's like nobody cares your job here is to play the fool like you're
trying to dress like a cool
guy it's like i i think it detracts i i'm with you man i'm thinking it detracts
if i ever wear anything
that is remotely eye-catching i'll think about it on stage the entire time
really i can't yeah it took me
forever this is my aura ring it's just for tracking my biometrics uh-huh took
me forever i would meet
every every person i met i'd be like i'm usually not a two-ring guy you're the
only aura ring uh
person i know who's a guy i know it's all they track their periods i know that's
why every the
women i know is like they're obsessed with period tracking so how does it how
does it feel be a guy
wearing an aura well me and what do you even get out of me and nick sex from 311
i'm not the only guy
real men real men wear whoop straps whoop straps are cool but here's the thing
sleeping with
something on my wrist i i get it to track my sleep yeah my sleep is way up this
i just too clunky on
my head it's too clunky it's too clunky i tried doing the apple watch sleep and
it's just i can't
get with it i'll tell you when i got my wedding ring it took me months to get
used to this yeah it's
just i mean even now i'm always like this yep i noticed subconsciously i'm
always twisted i banging
on i felt weird for the longest time and then now if i don't have it on i feel
like a right like a
naked boy do you ever get terrifying that you're gonna rip your finger off i
think about that all the
time how are you gonna rip your finger i don't know like the the trunk or
something like something
will catch just exactly the right way oh you're gonna come into it like that
yeah and your entire
finger is gonna be completely ripped off then it's well you look if you rip
your ring finger off then
it's on you can do whatever you want just be like bro my bad hey what do you
even tell your wife put the
ring on the nub yeah it's like i lost my ring you just cheat on her all the
time you don't have a ring finger
like i don't have a ring it's gone our vowels are over yeah if you lose that
finger you're a bash
you're a bachelor i like that wait you remember those rules in the 2000s um i
love watching you
know 2000s movies or you actually 1990s like american pie when they're like it's
not cheating if you're in
not in the same zip code oh yeah and re-watching it 25 later 25 years later
like that makes no
fucking sense like how is this conventional wisdom in 2001. that hall pass was
a big one like that was
there was a whole friends episode like what's your hot pass but that's not real
yeah totally fake yeah
you're yeah you're just a lady in a hotel room like stop acting like it's a
cute thing to do
yeah i was literally just thinking about hall passes yesterday i was like they
try to push that for a
little bit it was a huge 2000s trope as if all relationships functioned on uh
if you're not in
separate area codes you're not married or you're engaged hall passes were
apparently and allegedly
a thing what else was there there was work wife work wife work wife was a huge
thing that shit pisses
me off yeah i don't like that stuff the entire work wife concept is weird you
know yeah i understand
how it uh uh arises but it's like it's not your work wife you're cheating on
your wife yeah you're
having an emotional relationship you are having an emotional affair that's
going to bleed over right
yeah things were weird in the 90s they were and there was also in the 90s it
was like very
in vogue we talked about this before but it was like very in vogue to like jail
bait the concept
of like having sex with underage women was just like yo bro that was a big that's
another big
american pie thing too yeah yeah i mean man they don't age well but they are
still hilarious dude
they're so funny they should remake and they should do it again then we need
what was the last one
american wedding is that what i i lost track american pie i saw that that was
like a huge thing to see
when i was younger i i kind of jumped off that and hangover i didn't really
follow the hangover as well
comedies they stopped making comedy movies yeah but the whole reason i'm here
is because shane is
filming time i know now it's the emergence it's re-emerging and that
technically is a show the
comedy the great american comedy there was like the farrelly brothers all these
people
you don't have they don't you don't have like a comedy in the theaters and the
weirdest thing too
is that the director todd phillips i mean he made so many of those movies that
i love old school
he made what else did he make he made road trip i think yeah it's an incredible
film road trip is nice
road trip is so good but now and then he did the hangover he became filthy rich
but then he just
made he made the joker movie and then he made joker 2 which is adorable it's
like why did they do that
i don't know i mean um the galaxy brain case tarantino had a really good quote
he's like joker
is todd phillips saying you know the way he talks he's like joker is todd phillips
saying way of saying
fuck you to the audience and that's why it's brilliant and i was like i don't
know tarantino i think
you're galaxy brain in yourself and this shitty movie is actually really yeah
it sucks yeah it's
just bad it's just empirically bad i know even even though to be like yeah
because it for me i
always think of like the mood like i guess if you're already you have that
track record yeah it's like
people will still invest in you well that thing is money and also he's a super
weird dude one of my
favorite books uh i read about hollywood was molly's game actually also became
a movie which is a good
movie i think it's on netflix um and it's about that girl who ran the high
stakes poker game in in
hollywood but i ended up reading the book and i found out toby mcguire is a
complete and total psycho
so toby yeah i had no idea so toby was part of the quote-unquote pussy posse so
i knew that but then
i'm reading about these weird psychological mind games that he would play in
the book and he would at
one point he had a quote where he's like poker is not about winning poker is
about destroying people's
souls and he would string people along and bring them and get them into debt
and he was constantly
charging this girl the girl who ran the games and he was with her and her
livelihood and he would take
the game he's a multi-hundred millionaire or whatever yeah yeah and he's
constantly he's charging her for
using his automatic shuffling just weird power game shit like hot like true hollywood
he's like an evil
nerd yeah he's like an evil nerd psycho what the reading that book i was like
dude you are an actual
psychopath like i this seabisc he's the jockey that's that's it's spider-man
that's all i know about
this guy i was like oh man this is well he's probably upset his parents died
when he was younger and he
had to become my superhero he's got that and then uh yeah the more i learned
and todd phillips is in the
book too that's what made me think so this is all like a biographer basically
like digging into these
people she wrote the book she was like my journey running this is what he was
doing poker got you
got you got you she was like the assistant to some rich hollywood and he
brought her
to run the games and then she got in with like toby mcguire apparently leo came
and toby got leo to come and yeah but leo is also apparently like didn't talk
to anybody and just put
his headphones on the entire time while he was playing dude i've heard a
headphone story about
leo i was gonna say so that's what reminded me of the other you know the song
he listens to no what
is it oh dude it's uh time to pretend he listens to time to pretend while
looking like someone who's
wearing like basically extremely young women i mean i don't get it time to
pretend dude what didn't
she's 27 it's time to pretend she's 27 but she's no younger what's it what's
the i'm saying
she's 18. he's pretending oh that's right he's trying to pretend that she's 18.
he's trying to
pretend she's 27 but she is 18. the whole thing is very strange the leo thing i
don't get it i love
leo he's such an incredible actor he's got great instincts he's actually a very
very smart guy um
but yeah his personal life it's weird i think we need to call a spade a spade
it is and it's also
one of those things where i think bill bar is like another avowed kind of like
yeah i
19 year olds i'm 65 and he's like he's older than that i think he's like 67 bro
he might he might
be pushing 70 actually really yeah yeah and it's another one where it's like
yeah it's it is weird
it is definitely weird dude because it's the mental difference is crazy yeah i
mean we're talking like
order like statistical like like think about how many standard deviations it's
like a vampire it's
like you're an immortal vampire at that point you're 70 talking to an 18 year
old 18 year old girl you're
kind of babysitting her absolutely you are there's no question i don't know and
if it's like dude like you
could be like i can make a you know i can make a geometric case for their
breasts it's like all
right dude well like dude just stop being such a pervert go jack off dude you
don't have to date
an 18 year old just go jerk off you don't have to like try to make it a
lifestyle i love this because
this is a very just natural way of us like you know bringing ourselves to being
like yeah you know
there's actually really something about you should just get married bro just
get married be normal
being normal is good it's actually a good thing people who aren't normal are
fucking weirdos and
i mean you know you and i are in a unique position where you actually probably
eventually get to met
meet some of these famous people that you see or other or you get to you just
hear little things
that are not for su