Name: Ep 533 - Log Cabin (feat. Jeff Dye & Lemaire Lee)
Uploaded: 2024-12-03T14:00:50.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 533 - Log Cabin (feat. Jeff Dye & Lemaire Lee)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 533 - Log Cabin (feat. Jeff Dye & Lemaire Lee)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-03. Transcript available.

Ep 533 - Log Cabin (feat. Jeff Dye & Lemaire Lee)

wow wow wes and we're live jeff die thank you for joining the podcast thanks
for having me
dude i'm telling you standing podcasts are the future this is enough of the
sitting enough
sitting and talking i think it's giving it's just podcasters are getting lazy i
agree podcasts are
more important than ever dude after this election nailed it also most of us are
stand-up comics
that's what i'm standing yeah dude do you rock the stool at all on stage never
me either bro you
know what that stool is it's a tiny table for my drinking set list that's all
that is it's not a
seat i make it a table i agree i think it is uh some people like the stool some
people like the
stool i could never i couldn't even some people love the stool some people love
the stool but i i
couldn't i couldn't imagine sitting like that you know it also seems so
arrogant when a comic sits down
like it like it can play it can play well if you sit down a few young comics i'm
going what are you
doing get your what are you talking about jerking off and you're sitting if
true if you're a fat black
guy for some reason it's just like it kind of works right sit on the stool you
also have a towel patrice
waited 20 years before he sat on the fucking stool true trill it is a pretty
nuts move are you guys
telling me to stand up no no no no no no no no no okay no we just dude that was
just you're just being
a dude you're being yeah that seemed like we were just projecting on here no
lamare you were these fat
black guys always you're doing a good service for us right now because we
usually have a third podium
but we already established all everything and i'm like lamare it killed him he
wanted to be standing
with us i love it well also what do you think about these becoming a part of
stand-up comedy i mean you
might introduce that how nice would this be it's clear you can still see what's
going on you can have
all your stuff i like i'll throw a laptop under here sometimes access all my
stuff i think about how
pointy it would be to walk out in front of the podium now it'd be like very
yeah man oh yeah you're
like i have something to say you know they can still see you i can be like yeah
i never know
what to do with my other hands i know that's a will ferrell thing like what do
i do with my hands
but have you noticed like even your boy it's very it's like he's always on two
hands yeah uh like
i do it behind my back that i hate i hate that i do that but you're a magician
i hate that i do that
i'll see if it is myself like i fucking suck why am i doing this i've been
doing this long enough i
should know what to do with this hand yeah i i do i for a while i stopped doing
stand-up for a while
and i came back and i noticed i was i was aping the double hand for sure
signature so then i used to
have like a power like pc principle just one hand right here one hand and i've
gotten back to that where
one hand's by my side and i just kind of move around with this hand yeah i hate
the pocket i did it
recently i think i did it on sunday and i go what am i doing immediately took
it out um rogan holds the mic hate it
i think rogan holds the mic the worst like a snow cone yeah you go what are we
doing the bottom the
very bottom yeah like on the actual cable i'm scared to touch that part of the
microphone yeah
i know that's the connection yep i choke up right around i guess it's called
the head of the microphone
oh you do the head the glands yeah she's like a hip-hop artist you know what
are you doing no i i just
hold it right in the middle dude right in the grip and i just keep it right
here and i talk the entire
time yeah i've tried to do like mic in the mic stand kind of talking oh that's
tough too i started
fucking with the stand and then yeah it's like i do the two i've done the two
hands most of my career
i think gillis is ruining it for us because now everyone now everyone goes oh
he's doing gillis
he's going i'm just holding the mic i don't know what to do with his other hand
two two hands when i'm
like really dying if i feel like i'm dying on stage i'll throw that other hand
on the mic just kind of like
come on guys but yeah i um dude so you did it you did a bunch of uh you were
with the campaign with
trump what was it what was that like talking how how how many people were there
wait firstly
congratulations yeah i've never felt better i've never felt better true man
there's so many things
i could talk about on this i wasn't with trump himself as far as those are like
the actual
presidential campaign but there's all these other organizations that do things
to campaign gotcha you
won't believe the group i was with well i'd be curious to learn about them they're
called log cabin
gay republicans whoa did you know that was a thing you're getting gay republicans
fired up oh dude it
was they knew what they were doing too you're a handsome tall man i was like
gay republicans that's
a thing we're growing you know damn dude gay republicans and they used to hate
black people they're new
black people are new to republican party um i don't know if you know that abraham
lincoln was a republican
yeah but then for a while there i don't know if you know i don't know about his
work
what is this idea forget about all of our grandparents dude yeah abraham lincoln
was
republican slavery had nothing to do with racism it's free work it's a leverage
of power that's all it is
money you go wait now i have to pay these fuckers look at amazon right now they
just got a bunch
okay i mean i hear your logic but i do think when you go those guys are all the
slaves it's kind of
racist like yeah that was like a poverty thing guess who sold us the slaves
black people rich
black people come on jeff i agree with you slavery is the perfect way to build
an economy yes but yeah
you know it's still terrible we agreed it's bad and got rid of it it's sad when
are we gonna let
these chinese ones that we got in uh when we let these chinese children's
slaves go there are there are a
lot of uh one thing at a time you know true do we there is still there are
still a lot of slaves
oh for sure don't you know like i said if you're out if you're you know if you're
getting upset the
summer slave there's a lot of slavery i love that like lebron like lebron james
is like
the civil rights he's reading malcolm x upside down and he's acting like he
cares about slavery
while he's dripping in nike yeah yeah you're wearing the slave clothes third
world countries it's not
slavery it's just there's just not enough money so everyone's a slave by
default yes yeah like they
would pay they'll take the job they're like five cents a day please there's
just no money so it's
like they're just slaves by default although some of them are probably honestly
slaves if you're like
a factory guy in a third world you could probably have like a head stash of
slaves it's like yo go in
there with my paid workers dude yeah there's a lot there's still a lot of
slaves sex slaves yeah like
we have we have sex trafficking in our own country like those are slaves and
that's just a leverage of
power i mean it's sad you know it's yeah we all agree slavery is bad but when
people try to pretend
like it only happens to black people i'm like grow up read some things yeah
that's true they just
they're the hot potato they got caught with the hot potato they're like the
cool slaves yeah
they got caught last last but yeah for real that's like that's like yeah it is
totally
native americans had slaves like like they did like india like every place you
i dare you to find me
a place that didn't have slaves the whole world it was a global institution
yeah for sure that was
technically less than a hundred years and got rid of it it was ended by the
british yeah we tried it
on we said we said this feels icky i was claiming i'm christian wait you said
ended by the british yes
it was it wasn't ended by the british who ended slavery who chased other ships
down it's like who who
abe dude our boy no the british for real like they went at to war weren't they
the guys just like
they were like all right we colonized the world now let's save it well colonization
yeah like that's a
tricky one too i can't believe we're getting into all this it's the podium this
is the podium yeah
it is the podium but yeah i swear to god the british like like mexico stopped
slavery but they didn't
like get ships and like chase slave ships around the ocean like britain like
persecuted it but i also
think it could have been like we're stopping slaves you can't have them because
they didn't want anyone
gaining the there also might not be anything more diverse than slavery what do
you mean what's every
land it's every person oh yeah yeah it's a leverage of power yeah yeah hardly
racial at all yeah
definitely yeah it's crazy to be like it wasn't there it was definitely until
the republic starts
saying leverage of power next year yeah i know i started a whole thing yeah now
i'm gonna know what
you mean what i will say is uh working for the log cabin guys it breaks my
liberal friends brains yeah
what do you mean because i'm like oh i'm working with log cabins like what's
that i'm like gay republicans
and they're like but gay is good but republican bad like they can't get their
mind around it why are
they called the log cabin i don't know lincoln lincoln logs yeah maybe lincoln
logs or just a bunch
of dicks in a cabin yeah it's a log cabin they're the greatest group of dudes
ever they have best sense
of humor and like i think they're also new republicans yeah they're like sick
of this new shit yeah yeah
so they're just like gay guys all about the paper uh no no they're like the
bread they're all just
like tired of um trans people be considered the same community as theirs yeah
like that's annoying
yeah man what do you think that seems like that seems minuscule what do you
think they're they're
gay luddites yeah they're just like newfangled technology no no they're saying
like why is this
guy pretending like he's with us i think they're just conservative gay guys
like we're lgbq that's
kind of it we're not uh what's this new tea thing why is tea here yeah why is
tea here what's going on
yeah true i mean you know to be fair they're losing dudes becoming women they're
probably like as a gay
block this is not all right yeah our numbers are dwindling right now yeah
because it is it is kind of
like you know i could see that if you're like an old gay guy you can get a
total revamp yeah you know well
if you get a sex change you become straight again that's the rules those are
kind of yeah yeah they
go now i'm a straight girl yeah this is confusing yeah you gotta take the log
cabin and be like boys
i think the trans thing is really smart like if you're trying to like you know
the whole dead name
rule yeah like it's not you like if you become a woman and i go ah i loved me i
hung out with him in
austin you better not they would go hey don't you better not don't you dead
name me right that's the rules
yeah yeah but like you know caitlyn jenner like did some you know some crimes
you know
we're talking about the car car thing yeah but like in court they could be like
mr jenner and be like
that was bruce baby that wasn't me don't dead name me i i think it once you go
to court they're like
all right time out once you go to court they can do that yeah they go time out
and then they can just
totally just hit you with you know they can call you whatever time out i like
that or that yeah they
could be like can i do time out i love this you have to be you need an official
position damn it can
i do challenge flags like challenge flag can we can we go to someone that can
call time out potentially
i like that you could do whatever you want right now we should adopt time out
and podiums you're really
going to change the world i'm telling you dude this is it changed my world yeah
so how so how was what
was the experience you did like a bunch of just like so there's like trump is
like it's like