Name: Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)
Uploaded: 2024-12-19T13:00:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-19. Transcript available.

Ep 537 - Talkin' Mess (feat. Tim Butterly & Sidney Gantt)

Wow, wow, Wes.
And we're live.
What's up, everybody?
How are we doing?
Motherfucking Sidney Gantt, Tim Butterly.
Thank you guys for coming.
I'm fucking so pumped to have you down here.
Thank you so much.
Thanks for having us in the arena of ideas.
I knew you guys could rock the setup, dude.
Yeah.
Do people get competitive on here?
I want to win the podcast.
I know.
I need a buzzer.
Well, here's the deal.
No, if someone says something out of bounds, I will put you in the arena.
But for now, we're peaceful.
Dude, I feel like I should end all my sentences with my brother.
You can.
Yeah, and maybe I should be referring to you guys as columnist.
Why don't you anyway?
I don't have the glass.
I need the non-prescription circular glasses for that.
True.
Yeah.
Possibly a bow tie.
Yeah, I need a bow tie.
Yeah.
I have the hair for it.
Here's my thing.
If I were black, I would talk like really black.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
I don't know.
I always feel bad.
What are you trying to say to Sidney, right?
I wasn't allowed.
You can do whatever you want.
I'm talking about me.
I'm talking about my blackness.
Yeah, my family wouldn't let me.
Are you saying Sidney's leaving blackness on the table?
I think so.
I think there's some blackness to be had.
When you're like, I'm going to end my sentence with my brother, I'm like, why
don't you?
You remember the movie Ray Charles when they were trying drugs for the first
time and they
wouldn't let him try drugs?
Yeah.
That's how my family was with talking black.
They were like, this ain't for you, man.
You can't have anything.
You don't want to be a part of this.
So this is like my family, everybody in my family does talk that way.
Yeah.
Except for me and my brother.
And they wouldn't let you have it.
No, they wouldn't let us get it in.
Did they ever send you as like their emissary to deal with white people?
All the time.
I think that's what they were training us for.
That's so funny.
Yeah, we were ambassadors.
Sidney, what did I tell you about saying shit?
Shit is a curse word.
You can't say that.
You can say shit.
Say god damn it.
I was always going to be like, yes and no.
I could never be like, oh, hell nah.
Oh, you could do it on hell now.
Nah, nah.
They wouldn't let me say the N-word.
Everybody else in my house was saying the N-word.
And I was not allowed to say it.
What the fuck?
I had to call it the N-word.
What?
This is no bullshit.
My mom talked to the bus aide.
I'm like, I disagree.
That is some bullshit.
That is some bullshit, right?
My mom would talk to the bus aide.
I wasn't allowed to sit on the back of the bus.
No.
Swear to God.
Like I was not allowed to sit on the back of the bus.
How long would you get grounded if you were to say something like, I don't know,
ain't this about a bitch?
That's the whole summer indoors.
Yeah.
Nah, I couldn't ask.
How do you feel about that, though?
You think it was a hookup?
Or is it like...
What do you mean?
Like the...
Did you say that blacker?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like in terms of the...
Can you say that whiter, please?
The hookup?
What is the hookup?
Is that a desirable outcome?
Oh, no.
Okay, see, I get that.
So, no.
Yeah, you didn't like that.
Nah, I mean, it was...
I would just find different ways to like find my own little vibe.
For sure.
So, it just made me more creative.
Yeah.
You know?
That's true.
Right.
The arbitrary constraints that create great art, you know?
Exactly.
I like that.
Exactly.
But I would...
So, I would get in trouble in school because like I wasn't like sitting on the
back of the bus.
But when the bus would stop, like either at home or at school, I would run to
the back and open the emergency doors and hop out.
That's sick.
Like I was the guy that would start that rebellion every morning.
That's sick.
Yeah.
So...
Do you do an emergency...
You would do an emergency exit out of the bus?
I did.
Non-drill?
Non-drill.
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Yeah.
I would just like blow past the safety patrol that knew I was going back there
to do it.
And I would like...
Sometimes I had to swim move because they tried to put that hand out to stop me.
Bus safety is no joke.
Yeah.
I was a bus safety.
I think I was a bus safety.
Sidney was tactically running with both arms behind his back.
How big was your school bag at the time?
Naruto blasted through.
You were a giant school bag kid running off the back.
Damn.
Isn't that...
Isn't that like the opening scene of the Goofy movie?
There's no...
The Sun Buds.
The Goofy movie.
Does he skateboard off the back of a school bus?
Yeah.
That's pretty sick though.
Goofy freaks me out too much.
I tried watching the Goofy movie with my kids and I was like, let's watch
something else.
It's too silly.
And then it's like Goofy's nice, but then like the evil Goofy's.
There's like other guys.
I don't like...
I don't know.
I just don't like the sight of those guys.
The Goofy group squad?
The Goofy group squad.
The Goofy group squad.
I don't like those guys.
Yeah, they make you uncomfortable.
They make me slightly uncomfortable.
Goofy's...
He's too about the bullshit and I...
He's all about the bullshit.
You're too structured.
Look at you.
Way too...
You can't handle Goofy.
I can't handle Goofy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The bad guys in that are actually like the good guys for you.
They're trying to straighten Goofy out.
Yeah, man.
Knock off his bullshit.
Yeah.
I can't...
I don't like it.
I don't know why.
I see like...
It's just a steady...
I don't like Ren and Stimpy.
I never liked that show.
You don't like Ren and Stimpy?
When I was little, it was just grotesque.
Man, you seem like a Ren and Stimpy kid.
I wasn't allowed to watch it.
That was the thing.
That's what my parents held back for me.
They were like, no Ren and Stimpy.
That's good.
Because Ren and Stimpy, I think, is spaz energy that you don't need.
I didn't do it.
I would catch it sometimes.
Your parents were like, this is too white, man.
I told you, they did inadvertently do that.
They blocked MTV and they just left BET.
They didn't know it existed.
So that was the only music channel I had.
Oh, the cattle shooted you.
It was probably the right thing.
You know, the dude that created Ren and Stimpy was...
Oh, yeah.
He was a little...
He was a little active.
Yeah, I just don't like the bulging eyeballs and like...
I just want to be in a kid being like, fuck, this show is like bugging me out.
That was probably the most powerful I felt as a child when they were doing
extreme Ren and Stimpy close-up.
I was like, I'm tapped into the source.
I know what's up.
I hate it.
I hate it.
I've been dabbling in animation right now and I've always told the animators,
like, none of that Ren and Stimpy bullshit, bro.
I don't want to protest close-ups.
I want everyone to look very shiny.
My mom's going to get furious if she sees that.
Yeah, it was cringy for me.
I would sometimes look away.
Yeah.
I couldn't handle it.
Yeah, like, turn on Hangout with Mr. Cooper now.
Oh, man.
I think my entire highlight reel of, like, childhood joy was just, like, a veiny
face with bulging eyeballs and, like, a sound effect.
I was like...
Yeah.
That's all that ran through my head, man.
Dude, funny you bring up Hangout with Mr. Cooper.
That was always my biggest...
One of the reasons I always accepted my plight for how my family wouldn't let
me talk is I was afraid of sounding like Hanging with Mr. Cooper.
Really?
Because he was, like, a dude that, like, talked black but sounded like he
shouldn't.
Yeah, I can see that.
Do you know what I mean?
Like, that was my biggest fear.
I thought he was cool.
I was watching him.
Just being like, Mr. Cooper's pretty...
I thought he was pretty cool.
Yeah, he was like...
He's like a giant black nerd ahead of his time.
Yeah, I thought he was cool.
I guess I was benchmarking.
Yeah, he was...
Urkel said a hard benchmark.
That was white and cool.
He was white and cool.
True, yeah, yeah, he did.
He did.
I read a thing recently with Urkel.
He gave, like, an interview about how he says that he's not included in the pantheon
of black entertainment as Urkel.
Yeah.
I don't know why he was like...
Stefan, though.
Not even Stefan.
Not even Stefan.
People weren't buying it.
People, like, go back to the nerd character.
But, no, he was saying, like, if they say the all-time great black shows, it's
like Martin, blah, blah, blah.
And he was like, no one mentions Family Matters.
That's wild.
Because the Cosby show gets mentioned.
And he tried to say it was because of, like, I don't know.
He was like, it was because of the, like, family vibe.
But, yeah, the Cosby show gets mentioned all the time.
Yeah, way more family vibe.
Way more.
Sure.
Yeah, it is way more family vibe.
Yeah, I don't know.
He must be.
He's bullshitting then.
Yeah.
He's just...
He is...
I don't know.
I feel like...
I know white people loved Family Matters.
Yeah.
Did black people not, like, watching the black nerd or, like...
No, I think Family Matters was, like, the white...
The palatable white version of the sitcom Rock.
Remember that?
He was a garbage man.
And he lived in the hood.
Chris Rock?
No, no, no.
He was, like, a fat black actor.
I don't remember his name.
But he was a garbage man that lived in the hood.
Based on Love?
Nah.
He was on every show.
Yeah, he was on every show.
But he would deal with, like...
They would deal with, like, hood issues, but from a standpoint of a family that
was trying
to raise a good family in the hood.
So he had to, like, fight drug dealers and shit because his drug dealers were
trying to
get his son to sell drugs.
Yeah.
And he invited the drug dealer over and, like, try to fight him in his house,
and his wife
had to break him up.
This was called Rock?
Yeah.
R.O.C.
Do you remember this R.O.C., baby?
This wasn't called Kang of Queens.
I never...
That must have been before my time.
Dude, that was a black deep cut.
Was it really?
It was around the same time as Family Matters.
I knew Three's Company was, like, black people love that show.
Dude.
Jack Tripper.
Jack Tripper.
Yeah, he'd be tripping, dog.
Jack'd be tripping.
I'd never see that either.
When I worked for the labor union, I was constantly just hearing about Jack Tripper.
Yeah.
Because I lived with my ex-wife and her mother.
They'd be like, Jack Tripper, damn, bro.
Jack Tripper.
That was a wild bull.
No, I'm not.
I looked it up, and I was like, God damn.
That's a terrible situation.
It was also a psyop to get the black community to accept acting gay.
Was Jack Tripper gay?
He had to act gay.
Because he wasn't allowed to live in the house that he lived in with those
ladies.
Yeah.
Unless he was gay.
Oh, he was a fake gay guy.
Yeah.
That was a big plot point of that show.
Damn.
So, but he never did gay stuff in the show?
Not.
So, that was a big comedic device, because he would, like, bring women over and
date women.
And then the landlord would come up while he had a date over, and he had to,
like, act
straight with the date and then gay in front of the landlord.
That's fucking hilarious.
Yeah.
It's never ending.
You can watch a guy pretend to be gay.
You get a hundred episodes out of it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That was, like, basically how, like, the welfare state, you know, you couldn't
have a black
dad in the house.
But then he actually did live there.
Yeah.
That was Jack Tripper.
Okay.
Like, it was, like, the gay welfare state.
Yeah, he wasn't supposed to be in there.
Yeah.
Yeah, that is funny, too.
That was, like, a show, a compelling plot to be, like, you can't live in here
with two
women by yourselves.
Yeah.
Only in, what was that, like, 1990?
No, that was much earlier.
80s?
Had to be 80s.
It's crazy.
70s, even.
I think a landlord doesn't want you living by yourself with two women.
As you shouldn't.
Yeah, that would be totally improper.
Did you hear about the lady who had sex with 100 men?
OnlyFans lady?
Oh, yeah.
She made a documentary.
She made a documentary.
Yeah.
Cried at the end.
Cried at the end.
Yeah, tears welling up in her eyes.
Well, here's the thing.
You never get to