Name: Ep 538 - LSD Supermax (feat. Joel Blaeser)
Uploaded: 2024-12-23T13:00:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 538 - LSD Supermax (feat. Joel Blaeser)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 538 - LSD Supermax (feat. Joel Blaeser)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-23. Transcript available.

Ep 538 - LSD Supermax (feat. Joel Blaeser)

wild wild west and we're live joel blazer what the is going on thank you thank
you for coming
doesn't it feel good yes feels good dude every now and again just to jump in
hot get the juices
flowing so joel blaze i i so we met in milwaukee i saw you on soft white underbelly
and i was taken
by i was like dude this is this is crazy i think honestly i think you're one of
their best guests
you know they've done some thank you they've done a lot they've interviewed a
lot of people but
you know i just kind of struck me bro i saw you i said damn this guy is the man
and we talked and
then eventually we met in milwaukee i didn't it was pure accident i because you
i had this
up post on instagram my phone's off it's like you're talking right to me you
didn't even see me
and i'm like man i gotta and i grabbed my phone during and i'm like okay no
they're gonna kick me
out you can't turn the phone on because i wanted to erase it it was just some
negative like
because at the show you can't turn your phone on right right right right right
so then i go out
and then you and i wouldn't even turn my phone on had i not had that thought
which is that you
inspired me from the thing and then you're like dude i saw you come back to the
green room
i could have missed you i'm obviously stealing your grip right now i couldn't
miss you that was
rad my uh my friend i think nate you met nate yes nate comes oh no i think it
was aj aj comes back
and uh he's like yeah there's a guy looking all white the front row and i was
like i know who that
is that's joel blazer i was like dude hell yeah so yeah we talked a little bit
and um then we met
dude i you dude you're the man we met in milwaukee you gave the signed copies
to nate and aj of your book
uh gave him a little note letters from marion the notes were i thought
beautiful man they were i was uh
i gave them their books and we were reading them like they're they're just
beautiful notes you're the man
dude you're an absolute beast but we went to the steakhouse five o'clock steakhouse
yes might have
been the best steak i've ever had in my life dude i'm not lying it was good it
was so good and then i
the the thing that really killed me was i've never seen this happen before when
you showed up you had
had an incident with gas oh my god dude that was dude you smelled like gasoline
you showed up i like
we're all sitting there eating i'm like i thought you're working with power
tools all day so i'm like
maybe he was like chainsawing all day or something i don't want to be rude of
him what the why do you
sell a gas the clicked i'm sitting in the car the thing's full it clicked i
pull it out
dude and it just was squirting and it just squirted on the car and splashed
yeah you got drenched with
gasoline like that is wicked bro you i swear to god i've never it was such a pungent
i'm like what am i
gonna do you had to just show up it was a beast move you could have lit me on
fire if you were smoking
cigarettes i seriously was concerned i was worried someone's gonna order like
off lambe or something
and you would have went up because it was a thick gasoline smell although that's
kind of the most manly
like cologne maybe we could start it letters from marrying gasoline
but yeah so okay so you're and this is what kind of uh got my interest i
watched you on soft white
underbelly and you had the story basically about going to a supermax prison for
selling you know lsd
and the case was crazy like you know we talked about it it was just you sent
you know lsd in the
mail western union some guy got caught he never got even caught with it right
no his friend got caught
okay and then his friend just told on him they showed up at his front door and
he just like told
him this crazy story right so they didn't wasn't indicted he would just they
didn't he just completely
right on his front step jesus christ and then he gave you up and then you got
on some trial
where it was like you never got caught with drugs but there was enough circumstantial
evidence to
suggest that you had used a fake name to western union money and lsd around and
they sentenced you to
you said 151 months 12 years seven months which i jumped for joy that was short
yeah i mean i was
facing 40 and i get 151 i looked at my mom and i just went like this like
really you turned around yes
because i'm like it's 151 like at least that you know 40 when you're 23 your
whole life you're done
you're like how do you look down that hallway 151 it's like okay i can file
some appeals maybe i'll
get lucky and i did but that was 1992 so that's this is like two it's crazy to
think about the drug
laws back there's even like weed back then you'd go to jail for like four or
five years for selling
weed if you had enough when we drove through texas or vegas nevada like the the
older deadheads like
this was hid you couldn't do anything ponytails back like you just had to get
through the state
especially texas they said if we get pulled over and they find weed we are all
going to prison
yeah it's crazy and now look yeah and so we paved the way i should put a
collection bucket out
that's the young people have no clue man yeah even even the early 2000s it was
like you could
go to jail for like like little like weed and stuff i guess they softened
obviously softened
there's still some there's 25 states where it's illegal right yeah texas is texas
it's still illegal
like if you austin you're fine if you have weed in austin they don't care if
you leave austin you can
still they'll like throw you in the in front of the hotel everybody they don't
care in austin but if
you is that isn't that right josh i think if you leave austin and you get
caught with weed like i
knew someone who was decriminalizing austin proper yeah pretty much i i mean
they at least they don't
they don't prosecute it at all it's not that's the lib side it's a live this is
a lib haven yeah
they actually have like decent food here but uh you gotta deal with all that
stuff but but yeah man
you can in austin i think i knew someone who got pulled over with a vape
cartridge and got like
held overnight in austin no outside oh so austin's a safe haven so they can
where do they sell it here
yeah it's like now we have that weird stuff where it's like the hand it's one
little the hemp bill
no the hemp bill oh yeah the farm bear exactly if you get it from hemp you can
it's like yeah or the
big thing's thca because thc is what's illegal thca you know you have to you
know like heat up uh
we make brownies come back cabal yeah deep oxalate or whatever yeah so now if
you have you have that
extra carbon molecule that heat removes from literally if a lighter it's
technically legal because
you could be like well this is hemp it's yeah it's weeds legal now by the way
but is it medically legal
here no no texas is like i i think it's yeah i don't think they even have a
mess i think all drugs
should be legal and the world would be way different that's really one of the
driving forces behind the book
is to be part of that wave yeah yeah i mean dude it's like it hasn't worked the
i mean look at the
prisons well what happened with portugal didn't portugal yeah i mean obviously
locking people up
for they did it was much smaller the cato institute did a big study i wrote a
couple op-eds for that i
don't remember all the statistics but they they would track it all the way to
like when kids first tried
drugs like it just had a positive impact on all the metrics of drug use amount
of drug use when they
stop and then when you go in to do it they say if you get addicted or you want
help here it is
but there's a lot of moms whose young daughters and sons have od'd and died
that if it was legal
if they were at one of those places they wouldn't have died yeah and and you
take the the mexican
cartel would go out of business like that think of that so that's the big one
yeah well that that's the uh
but here's the thing i i was i read the book chasing the scream by yeah yeah
great book yes they talk
about that how like in in london they would give people heroin and then uh if
you had someone if
they had to go to a center and the heroin was clean like there were way more
way less deaths but now
the critique in america is like the um well it's a cesspool america did it
wrong like oregon and seattle
is just like a whole area of exactly it does give the harm reduction stuff a
bad name because it's
like if you just let people lay on the street and you're like oh here's fucking
here's needles and
then my my friend jerry clickstein was actually living in skid row for a while
and he said the
problem was you like throw these guys in like a apartment like oh here we're
gonna give you housing
and then they od and die and nobody finds them because they're by themselves
rather if they're outside
but if you can at least discover them if both metrics were the same legal and
illegal the use
there's still the metric of the criminal elements out of it we get the money
that we can bring back
in yeah that's true and it's also it loses a lot of the allure it's like you
know if you're telling
me yes i gotta go to like in a professional office building to like go do
heroin i'm gonna be like
you're gonna start to question it you're gonna think what am i doing where's my
life going yeah what
is it what the am i doing it's not the thrill of like you know you're getting
it it takes the rock
and roll element out of it which i think could work and it it always is a
personal choice it is
like you know it comes down to personal choice what i do with my head is my
business can a government
really tell me yeah well apparently they told you they sent you to jail for
fucking 15 years
so dude so that you have a book it's called letters from marion i read it i
love the book dude i
thought it was great book was fantastic it kind of gave me that shout out about
the jack rag on another
podcast yes i did i did i did actually i parted it too dude that's i'm glad it's
got across a weird
threshold though for other prisoners to be like yo here's how you jerk off
because i know in jail it's
like nikki at the third place yeah nikki told me he started to tell me and i
thought he was with me
yeah and i'm like but he's not gay sparky already got me stoned with all this
weed and then i'm like
all right i'm gonna try it right i did and it was wicked and it was what was
the technique again you
rolled the socks inside out so it's smooth and then you're not actually like
going up and down on the
shaft you're and it's hard it's hard when you get a really big hard on but you
grab the shaft
and then that heat created and then right at climax boom right on top and
underneath
put some pressure on it it has an effect man that's crazy i mean like don't
guys know that
oh man i don't know i've never tried this sock in the pressure plate so you you
turn it inside out
and then you fold it over so it's a little tight right and you got to get a big
sock but no it works
and then it's all contained no no spill no trust no must you don't have to buy
our cabware at home
in the morning you gotta wash the sock yeah you gotta wash the sock throw that
out throw it out
after like six or eight uses what oh so you still wash it or i'll rinse it but
not i don't want to put
it in the machine ah true you need to keep it pure yeah yeah i get that true
you don't want all those
chemicals on you the funny so you were telling me this made me laugh a lot so
you get you go to trial
you took your case to trial you fight it yourself which you know that is
honorable you go take your
case to trial and then you were sentenced like you said what was the first
thing you did upon
sentencing you back to the cell what was your play so it was a that was you're
23 years old sober
experience sobering experience i went to that cell and i just started to think
what do i want to do
what am i going to do when i get out surfing sushi and then i'm like somehow i
got aroused
right on you know and the marshals were out o