Name: Ep 555 - Roundball Rock (feat. Steve Gerben)
Uploaded: 2025-04-16T12:00:54.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 555 - Roundball Rock (feat. Steve Gerben)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 555 - Roundball Rock (feat. Steve Gerben)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-16. Transcript available.

Ep 555 - Roundball Rock (feat. Steve Gerben)

The wild, wild west.
Yes.
Okay, let's go.
Yeah.
Do you see the Terrence Howard thing?
We talked about how the man's like
kind of center of structural integrity is his butthole.
And he claims P Diddy was trying to compromise him and make him fluid.
So once you get he's like, once you compromise your center of integrity,
which is your butthole, you become fluid and like nothing.
You get all fucked up.
Center of not physical integrity.
Oh, man, your manhood. Actual integrity.
Yeah, he's a mathematician.
So he was saying like you're like the geometry,
like the underpinning of your structural manhood is your butthole.
Yeah.
Like, yeah, but it's also it's mental to the center of gravity.
He thinks is your butthole.
And once you which, by the way, I can't prove him wrong.
It's something to do.
It sounds like he's right again.
You say it's Terrence Howard, mathematician.
Hustle and flow.
Oh, oh, oh boy.
Hustle and flow guy that's now a super genius.
Okay.
He claims Diddy went for his b-hole under like the thing of like lessons.
He was giving them like, you know, acting lessons.
Said Diddy was just like looking at him wrong.
He's like, this guy's trying to fuck my ass, take away the geometry of my manhood.
So what do you think about that nightmare story to have to listen to?
You don't think he went for Terrence Howard's butthole?
But it doesn't sound like it.
It sounds like Terrence Howard thinks that he wanted to.
Wanted to, he might have.
But he, if there's anybody out there that might've wanted to, I would say Diddy's
a prime suspect.
I can't, I can't follow what's going on because it sounds like.
There's a lot of people saying he tried to fuck him in the ass.
Yeah.
What do you think?
Free Diddy?
No.
There's a lot of rumors going around that Diddy's trying to destroy men's
structural integrity.
I understand those rumors.
It sounded like the way that the story was being told was that Terrence Howard.
Assumed it.
Right.
Assumed it.
Yeah.
Well, his, he had like a assistant that he was like, what's up with him?
He's like, oh, Diddy's trying to fuck you.
So his assistant was the one who told him like, yo, this is what this is all
about.
What's that guy's not Mr. Bentley or what was that guy's name?
It just gets more complicated.
Fonsworth Bentley.
He's like, my boss is trying to fuck your ass.
Get the fuck out of here.
Run.
Go now.
That's a fair point though.
Maybe he wasn't trying to fuck his ass.
Do you think if someone gets their ass?
Do you think if someone gets their ass fucked, it does compromise like their
manhood from
like to where it like affects your posture and shit.
Like you move differently after that.
Do I think that?
No, really?
Yeah, no.
Do you have any proof?
I have a counter argument.
Yeah.
Gay guys walk different.
It's true.
I think it actually helps your structural integrity.
The posture goes way up.
Yeah.
Once you get.
Sure.
You just start wearing that sweater vest differently.
Yeah.
It starts looking way different on you.
We had a thing in grade school that like if like, do you ever have it with like
kids where
it's like, yo, a lady's walking.
Like if a lady walked a certain way, like she had sex before.
Yeah.
We would just do it with all the moms.
Like yo.
Like all the moms that come to special lunch.
Like yo, she definitely had sex before.
Yeah.
If you walk with your feet a little bit more apart, that's all you could tell a
girl had sex.
Once again, these are tough to refute.
I do.
I kind of hold to it.
Yeah.
If I see any, if I see a woman go anywhere near shoulder width apart, I'm going,
what the
fuck?
What the fuck are you doing?
What do you think?
Yeah.
Your mom's here to help with Pete's lunch.
Like yo, your mom got fucked.
Speaking of slots, how about the space slots?
Dude.
How did I not know about that?
I don't know.
I think I saw it this morning and it's, it's been bothering me.
Yeah.
That's, uh, it's affected me a lot.
Also Bezos for all of that work.
He just looks like a trash man.
He has like the body of like a Philadelphia.
He's on like billions of dollars of TRT and gene therapy.
Just to become a WAP.
He's transformed.
He's, he's fully just a guy at Wawa.
That's all he is.
That might've been the biggest attempt to get rid of your, your wife ever.
Yeah.
Just being like, I built a spaceship.
I'm going to launch you up there.
Yeah, man.
Gail King.
Yeah.
And it's fucked up because he'd have another wife pretty fast.
If he blew his wife up in outer space, he'd have a wife before the rubble hit
her.
Yes.
And your wife in outer space is crazy.
But yeah, dude, I don't know.
He needs to tighten up his program.
He was probably bummed out when he saw that thing landing.
Yeah.
Fuck.
I was almost out of that one.
It's also annoying.
Cause then that hits like girl consciousness.
Like, man, when you get out of space, you know, you'll never go to fuck.
Jeff took his wife to outer space.
She got a lunch with him.
Yeah.
I, I, uh, I don't like this thing of sending ladies to space at all.
It's also not historic.
It's not like a historical.
It's not.
You did say that.
Yeah.
They said a fucking chimp.
The Russians said.
Sorry, ladies.
You guys missed the fucking boat.
Was that dog's name?
It was like an owl.
Fuck.
I know that dog.
It starts with an owl.
The Russian dog.
What's that dog's name?
Like the dog that went to space?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Laker.
Space bug.
Space dog.
The doll with the space on it.
It's also sad that they went to space and just did like Instagram.
Yeah.
They're just in there going like.
Katy Perry's standing in front of a camera instead of looking out at the
universe.
Yeah.
She's like, it's not about me.
And then she's up in space literally staring directly into a camera.
I know.
Especially once you say it's not about me, like for the fifth time, it's like,
all right.
It might actually be all about you.
Dude, her singing up there.
Yeah, she got up there and sang.
What a wonderful world.
Yeah, it's.
Good.
That's what we need.
Although, what kind of is that like, is that trending on Twitter right now?
That song?
Yeah.
No, I'm saying just like going to space.
The fact that they went to space.
Yeah, I think it was pretty.
It's pretty big.
Yeah.
And I think people are more just, they have our opinion about it.
Yeah.
That stunk.
They're like, that stinks.
That sucked that we did that.
Yeah.
And it also.
Yeah.
It's just to be like, we're going to go to space just to like, for a movement
for women
to take up more space.
It's like, dude, did you ever live with a woman?
They fucking, they're doing all right.
In terms of occupying.
Space is instantly theirs.
Yeah.
They're taking up space already.
It's like living with a man.
He goes, oh, the office is my room now.
Yeah.
All right.
Well, it's just not even a cause.
It's not a real cause.
It's like, this is for women to take up more space.
It's like, what do you mean by that?
And they, it'd be like, I don't know, man.
Why you asking?
What do you think about that?
Do you think women, you think they need to be more confined?
Do you think they should be?
Do you think they should be confined or occupy more space?
I don't like, I don't like, come on, you can do it.
Occupy more space.
Yeah.
In what, in what regard?
True tires, June 5th.
True what?
Tires, June 5th.
Oh yeah, tires, June 5th.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah.
Women need to occupy more space.
Of course they do.
Tires, watch tires.
They should be, they should, if they choose, if they want to.
Of course.
You know.
If they want to take up more space.
You don't want to confine them?
No.
You don't ever want to confine your woman?
No.
What are your thoughts on foot training?
What?
Foot training.
Foot training?
Yeah.
What's that?
They're binding their feet?
I don't support forcible foot training.
If somebody wants to foot train?
Yeah.
Sure.
Their daughter?
No.
What if your two-year-old said, I want to foot train?
Would you say yes?
No.
Why?
So you're against trans?
What if your public school teacher came and told you, your daughter wants to
foot train?
I would say, let's just wrap the foot gently.
You know, like wearing a cape.
Trick them.
You want to trick the kids?
Yeah.
Did you see that soft white underbelly where the guy lost, like he had a son,
and his wife
was like, our son's a daughter.
And he's like, no, it's not.
And then she just got, she divorced him.
And then the school was like, yo, it's on.
Schools are going.
Bro, they need to chill, dude.
They need to chill.
I don't understand like the hype up on it.
If I'm a teacher and I'm like trying to like, just get them to pay attention to
geography,
the last thing I need on my plate is like, what are we doing?
Yeah, I got that.
Yeah, but there could be a deeper, like, you're trying to get them to pay
attention to geography
and they are acting up every day.
And you go, okay.
Yeah, and the girls are all being so good.
I'm not going to fuck your shit up.
It's just a class.
I think they're just being lazy because girls are easier in school.
Like, if you're a boy, school sucks.
If you're a girl, you're like, I actually like it.
I have all my pencils organized.
So, if I was a teacher, I'd be like, we need more of these girls.
That's very true.
They tried Adderall for years.
And they're like, you know what, fuck it.
Just make them all girls.
Teachers are just on Adderall organizing the class.
It would be much more efficient if these were all women in here.
I don't see the point.
I don't see what's wrong with that.
And also, yeah, the sports.
I was on PITM yesterday.
We were talking about.
What's that?
Panties in the Mouth podcast.
Okay.
Sounds like it's right up your alley, doesn't it?
Yes.
You've been known to stuff some PITM.
Yeah, I love you.
Yeah, it's good.
Yeah, Panties in the Mouth is good.
He actually does.
Panties in the Mouth on Patreon.
What happened?
I've just been saying it for years.
That's a pretty cool thing to do.
Stuff a girl's underpants in your mouth.
If they're into it.
If they're into it.
Yeah.
While you're poorly fucking her.
What if you're just working at their house and you see them on the floor and
you're just
going, which is my own?
But that's kind of.
It's snack time.
They're about to get washed.
What does that matter?
I mean, they're about to get washed.
So like theoretically, you're like, say you're working at a house.
Like you're doing like, you know, you're a plumber.
And you're going to like to fix the laundry machine.
You just see dirty underwear.
Do you think a person has a right to stuff them?
You say, I could gobble these.
Yeah, yeah.
You don't ask for a tip, though.
No tip.
You just gobbled the panties when no one was looking.
No tip.
I also don't know if you tip.
Even if you don't even know the woman.
Even if I've never even seen her.
Really?
So you don't even know her age.
They've got to be pretty big.
You've got to be giant.
I plead the fifth.
Turn the mic off on that.
But yeah, we were talking about coaches starting at competitive in women's
sports.
And just like how college coaches hear a player's good.
And they go and kind of scout the house.
Yeah.
Just like there's like a fucking fast gay kid in your neighborhood.
And you're like, I can get him on the girls.
Oh, yeah.
I can get him on the girls.
Fast gay kid.
You see him running like Forrest Gump in front of a truck.
People are like, get out of here.
You bring the briefcase to his family's house.
You're like, let's just have dinner.
This kid could dominate.
But what are your thoughts on that kind of stuff?
I didn't even see what happened over there.
And he took turns into like if she's there on a job site.
You know what?
So who's?
We're talking about how there's a thing going on right now where all of these
girls are becoming boys and dominating men's sports.
Right.
Causing a fucking uproar.
And it's huge in the podcast sphere.
Okay.
This is what we talk about.
Yeah.
I thought it wasn't this like a year ago?
No, it still happened.
No, it was girl.
It was boys.
It's been a few years of us talking about it.
Boys becoming girls.
Boy