Name: Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)
Uploaded: 2025-05-13T19:01:25.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-05-13. Transcript available.

Ep 559 - Zoom Jam (feat. Nate Marshall & Shawn Gardini)

wild wild west it's starting right now god damn it we're in we're live dude
powerful we're
fucking live we have so much tech going on right now this is the first time on
the free episode
we've done the call in really live calling but right now we'll just pod like
natural bro
okay we got a bunch we got a wall of bros in the zoom just staring at us on the
screen
i can't pod any other way i need to see the bros
god damn it how you guys doing how was mother's day did you guys call your
mothers i did call
mom i didn't get nothing i feel pretty bad about it though i didn't get my mom
oh no i split a
present with my brother that's just how i move i just gave her a nice call how
you doing that's all
they want what do you what else you're gonna get her start to send her some
amazon flowers but
i don't know amazon flowers today and it was like well at that point she don't
even care no more
yeah my mom doesn't like flowers yeah i think my mom my dad used to be a flower
dude and then he
stopped and so i think it brings it back to like somebody still getting me
flowers you know yeah oh
yeah i mean most they love flowers my pops used to try to be a romantic
romantic rent a limo go do he
used to be like that kind of guy he went all out for couldn't afford it though
it's probably a real
bad move limo's a nice move flowers really anymore just for them to display on
social media just to
crush other women yeah or when you're working in the office like that's what i
used to do i just send
up my girl jones and that was all it was for us so yeah oh so all the co-workers
see yeah yeah oh that's
that's a crazy mac is it in there and every lady in the place is jealous yeah
that's why that's really
beautiful yeah where'd you get them now get off my flowers lady you happy
mother's
day i went to church he was lit church at the church on mother's day yeah dude
it was
the we never went to this place before the preacher it was like you know those
texas churches it's not
like a catholic mass it's just like the standard format of the bro i think they
we missed the
intro jam yeah and then the guy yeah we missed that and then the black church
no no no no no it was
like white it was like it was like white black church okay all right yeah like
righteous gemstone
style it's it's similar yeah it's not it wasn't as overblown and theatrical but
it was like we just
walked in on the i guess the passer just cooking dude it was like a 40 minute
speech and he was like
he's literally a bro and he was just talking about men and women and he was
like
just he was like i'm painting in broad strokes but he it was no it was nothing
like sweet and kind of
it was just like listen dude like kind of giving women the business on mother
but sweetly and kind of
encouragingly and i was just sitting there just like go brother go what was his
what was his like
angle he was saying we need to work together he's like we're being divided and
women are getting
crushed thinking like you know he's like basically being like dude you don't
you don't if you want
to have a job have a job who cares but he's like the force the societal force
is trying to tell you
if you don't have a job you're less than yeah he goes it's coming straight from
the pits of hell
i was like preach brother he was he was ripping he was basically saying dudes
need to be made to feel
like they can like do i have what it takes and women are thinking do i am i
enough yeah he was like
how you can answer those questions and also nicely being like again look women
like kind of shut the
up stop bothering guys like this guy up tell him he's a beast pick up the paper
towel off the ground
say a prayer throw in the trash and don't bother the guy about it i might have
to go catch that good
word dude it was he's going back to the bible being like yeah sorry dude you
know you guys went back to
the garden and he was like look this is just the story all right you guys it
all
that's why childbirth hurts sorry happy mothers dude he was he was nice
actually and he he was very
he was very tactful about it it was it was nice what made y'all make the move
like the the church
mother they moved britney loves church so i like planned i just try to plan
like the ideal day
dude a pastor i've never been to a church where the the preacher the pastor the
priest could get
pussy camp pastor it helps them it helps them because when the guy when they
don't get any snizz
like they talk about relationships and it's like that look that's universal a
lot of those churches get
someone gets caught up there's one and every every church i'm convinced there's
i think there's apparently
there's like way more pedophiles than people think yeah i watched we talked
about it last week i watched
the clip and this guy was like bro it's everywhere everyone's going for this
stuff we were i was thinking
i almost brought this up when we were doing the page last week because we were
talking about x videos
and how how up some of them videos look and you or you can always see the
counter on like it'll be one
where it's like that looks crazy but it'll be like 30 million views and it's
just like
that's crazy like you know what i mean like if that makes sense we're talking
about them porns then
the girl x video looks too young and you try to fire it all oh you see like how
many people have
viewed it and you can see right under the video how many people viewed it and
the numbers are always
nuts it's always like like a billion views i know it's but on what kind of
pornography do you mean like
oh illegal kinds of pornography yeah we were saying that extra oh you weren't
there like yeah there's
there's there's i noticed i had been off the hub for a long time just because
like you know due to
legislation in the state i couldn't go on pornhub proper and i like was in san
francisco and i was
like oh let me check out what they're up to and it was just like this lady who
looked like she was
a teenager and they were it was just like a huge feed of just her stuff and it
was just kind of like
what the fuck stop with this yeah like dude young looking yeah no i know yeah i
see it they're fired up but it does
help when the pastor is getting snizzed yeah i don't know how i got us off
track like that
that's straight from the pits of hell yeah when the pastor is getting snizzed
dude they were and it's
like nice because it's coming from it's such a good central authority to come
from like not it's not you
being like shut the up it's the guy being like god said that he's giving us the
word of god and god's
telling you to stop being so mean yeah hype this guy up and it was same thing
he was like dude if
you want your babes to stop hassling you you gotta you gotta he had these two
little piggy banks he's
like you gotta fill her piggy bank man you can give it like a month where you're
just chilling with her
non-stop almost to the point where she's like all right enough of you because
then you can go party
with the bro i mean i'm obviously summarizing but that's what i got from it
yeah he was jacked too
just a jacked bro jacked pussy getting pastor he's the man wait a man married
in there he's mad for
sure yeah he's married okay no no yeah that would have been crazy if he was
single being like these
bitches on the app no family man outside and giving his instagram to the girls
leaving
yeah i also speaking of which bro i i showed up here i realized i had my wife's
keys for the car
in my pocket just like god damn you should start holding it down like that
though like you're staying
i should take your cell phone yeah no cell phone paycheck straight to me it's
actually the opposite i
have she handles everything i have no idea what's going on that's a hobby too
it's like a samurai
that's what the samurais did they gave all the response any earthly
responsibility it's like i
don't even want to know man you're just concerned with war and and just strat i
see and haikus i just
want to sit in grassy no one's concoct haikus but yeah that was sick man that
was tight we did that
had a little bbq at my house you know it was yummy what were the meats pause
seafood seafood
oh seafood bar yeah my black queen of seafood peace i got a white boy on my
roster he feeding me pasta
and lobster
i saw my mommy on set what i saw my mommy on set that was nice what'd you guys
do we went to an
italian restaurant and uh got really drunk nice philadelphia yeah that's
awesome that's awesome
what do y'all think about this happy mother's days to just a dog my girl had we
have a dog she says he's a
dog's mom that's her white girl stuff she kind of was she kind of was shooting
for it i could i felt
it towards the end of the day she was shooting for a happy mother's day from me
no i i yeah i'm a big
no i'm not gonna lie i did give it to her in the moment it's a funny joke yeah
but i was like
oh it's also it's also to be fair i feel like any of those hallmark type days
if you play it right
you can get some ass true true you know what i mean so you should have played
up the dog bomb be like
bro this is crazy i didn't even think about it i showed up late i got home late
from i went to the
stars game yesterday dollar stars got in that ass like um and showed up at 10
just no energy i was
cooked i just was sitting there i couldn't have gave her nothing on mother's
day if she wanted it
you were all hockeyed out yeah yeah i was screaming i was having a good time i
didn't know nothing that
was going on you came back and broke her off with a hockey dick that's rough
just a lipstick
just grabbing her shoulders just fighting her yeah it was uh it was sick i
showed my wife the kanye
video by the way the which one is his newest latest song did man oh yes maybe
we shouldn't say the
title it's double h he said maybe uh you can't even name the title of a song
that's how banned it is
yeah i i read about that how it's just scrubbed immediately yeah i mean the
most shocking part
of it to me other than you know obviously it's a lyrical content is the
warehouse full of black dudes
dressed like wolves yeah yeah what are they is that is that like how much did
he pay them for that
because i'd imagine that would go against your life changing a life-changing
moment for you you're
done getting work as a video boy now i think i i guess i don't know i don't
know what you call
video mail video nazi vixen yeah yeah nazi vixen although what i wonder now is
like you know
not for myself personally but i wonder if that opened up like a world of guys
who like if you're into
like cucks and bull situation being like dude that's that would be if i was
into bulls that would be a
charged situation just there's a black nazi dressed like a wolf he's got way
more man than me he's
standing on business it's like free stuff maybe maybe he's getting pivoting to
furry well did you
see the thing where he was on the sneko live stream and like i don't know if it
was staged or what but
he was just talking about like not cucking in general no i didn't i didn't see
this they were talking
about he was talking about like yeah like people might think it's cucking but
he was like basically
talking about like loaning your babe out oh he's actually called a stag vixen
there's a there's a
it's like different than my brother tom just texted me he was like you down
with stag vixens and he
broke it all down and it's not so much like a cuck but it's more of a proactive
proactive role where
you bring your babe and i mean it's just straight from the pits of hell as well
but you bring your babe
to a function and you got you have a hoe bag so you have a bag of toys you're
just carrying yeah
probably something if you're balling probably like a night you're scoochie down
it's like a
cute bag full of just toys and you go to a function you just you find your your
man in wolf clothing
and then you're like yeah and you you organize it more and you're like here's
the hoe bag do you get
a bae like does he give give you one of his bays is it a trade i don't know if
i