Name: Ep 564 - Cuddle Puddle (feat. James McCann, Tim Butterly, & Egan Robinson)
Uploaded: 2025-06-18T11:01:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 564 - Cuddle Puddle (feat. James McCann, Tim Butterly, & Egan Robinson)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 564 - Cuddle Puddle (feat. James McCann, Tim Butterly, & Egan Robinson)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-18. Transcript available.

Ep 564 - Cuddle Puddle (feat. James McCann, Tim Butterly, & Egan Robinson)

wow wow wes dude oh can we start over my voice crack dude leave it in hey hey
guys hey guys um
thank you guys thanks for coming man thanks for having me thank you for coming
i um yeah i did
wear a tank top i wasn't you know it's not a good thing i'm just trying to had
a moglin us i'm not
mogging at all i really i'm humbly asking for notes from the viewership like
you guys if you
guys see anything you guys i need to work on just let me know you know arnold
used to wear belly
shirts when he was bulking just to give himself the motivation is that like it
cuts off like right
here yeah oh that's kind of nice i think laid back jacked is such a statement
that i'm not even
almost overpowering how nonchalant you're trying to be about i saw you at the
pool
two weeks ago your back is out of control are you serious you've got a huge
muscular back everybody
noticed that you turned around people i was with said oh it's from carrying it's
from carrying this
goddamn podcast i don't even think they knew about comedy people were going you
know a guy with a big
back you're serious i know i never got to check my back is it going like cobra
like cobra style like
no one's spontaneous i've seen earlier pictures of you no one accidentally gets
a huge
a manta dude i swear to god it's just maca my stack is just maca and she legit
yo i just i just got on
the jeet today did you really first time it's gross it tastes it tastes nasty i
was like it's like it's
like scary how bad it is well i was sniffing i got it also from like a sketchy
like like online web
store and so i was like i don't even know it's just like a black like tar in a
i don't even know what
it is i'm like it smells like like i guess i put it in water and just drink it
but it was really nasty
gross you got to kind of put it in coffee i feel like okay yeah it said to put
in milk people put
it in milk i was like that sounds like a weird yeah i've tried to put it right
under my tongue and it's
just like yeah me and the guys at the gym we just go raw you've load maxed for
a while oh is that why
you're doing it for like i'm i'm just going just kind of uh male enhancement
all around yeah i'm
going uh big cum supplement yeah zinc uh l arginine arginine and i'm doing two
more that i
forget the name are you still lm i haven't since i uh started the move but yeah
i was doing it for
about a month or two i don't understand yeah what's what's like the ideal
amount of time to like load
max before it's like now i'm gonna let the load out like you know it's i'd say
you're probably not
gonna see any results until like uh like probably a week or two in okay like
the first day you take
it it's like who gives a and then like two weeks in you're just like i can
never go back and then you
fall off one day and you go i'll get back to it and then you never take it
again and then all the
supplements expire in your cabinet did you get that one experience with load
you get that one time
yeah you kind of like yeah i don't know it's not sustainable you're not going
to be impressed by
your look because then you're just like well now i need to go bigger raise the
bar raises the bar for
your life is the secret to having a large amount of ejaculate not just to wait
a couple of days
if you just wait a couple of days don't you have a lot of time but if you do
both of those things
exactly what you just have every day a huge not every day you you save it for
like this this is
what i do now i just go like i've started telling my wife i've talked about
this before but it's like
i have completely lifted my off my like sexual offense has i've i've retired it
completely
you're playing a defensive game now yeah no i just i'm just i told her like
look i'm just here i'm
not going to pressure you about it i was like i'm trying to retain if you need
to break the glass
you go right ahead but try not to do it more than once a week and now is this
having the reverse
psychological effect that you're hoping it does for sure or are you just withering
away
no dude i'm just retaining seating is getting that's what's up that's what's up
i'm i'm i'm full
the full year are you not a full year but since i haven't i haven't jade off
since 2024 because i
i love to tell people like oh you jerk off that's so 2024.
so you're you've been off the nog since yeah 2024. yeah i've been off the nog
off uh no porn no jane
off no pmo what's pmo porn masturbation orgasm definitely been off of that i
will say the amount
that i think about the cycle i thought this pissed me off my daughter's been
saying pmo all the time
that's what she means she keeps saying tspmo and now now i'm rethinking every
moment this should
piss me off oh it's probably it pissed me off transsexual it should be transsexual
transsexual pornography masturbation orgasm you might want to dig it i went
wrong somewhere maybe six
years ago no we'll be okay but yeah i'm so far past i don't even i mean i i
think about it you ever
feel the urge you ever get feel the pull just constantly well it's really
mainly like it is kind
of nice as i feel the urge only when i'm in my apartment not doing anything
because it's literally
just an indication that i should go out and do something but only when i'm like
yeah when i'm
just like wow yeah yeah the hotel rooms on the road are very scary yeah i just
download i just
download like a dating app and just swipe to see like is someone sexually
interested in me at all
i'm like it's yeah it's crazy i'm just like basically gooning on tinder just
like who wants to
fuck me if you if you're completely resisting the urge what are what are your
uh social media
algorithms looking like so i have been i will say i'm the type of guy that i
have been slowly like
unfollowing like any kind of like hot girl account and then if anyone even
posts anything that has like
go ahead sorry like a girl like a bikini or anything i'm just like i don't need
to see this
filth on my timeline i just unfollow it so it's a lot more it's basically my
algorithm is all just like
just like anime videos like catholic basically i was i was following no fly
honeys and the algorithm
found me out yeah they try they send salvos into your timeline all the time but
i think you can
reset it you can fully default what's no fly honey what is that i wasn't
following any fly honeys on
i thought about babes are gonna get off the ground i'm like that's what you're
saying so you have no
fly babes no but then the algorithm still goes you've lingered on this you like
obviously you like
this yeah yeah but i found you can you can do a hard reset on it where you go
yeah just take me back
to day one of the algorithm before you knew anything about me so you're
throwing the baby out with the
bath water then i was getting uh women making sourdough with huge breasts yeah
and uh wow that's crazy we
were just watching them on panties in the mouth yeah i mean it's yeah that
there was like porn warm-up
girls i'm always kind of like sketched out like is it like do they stop is that
like a woman dipping
her toe in like sexual entertainment like oh all my instagram and stuff yeah
the ones who aren't doing
like porn only fans yes digital fluffers but sometimes they're still part of
the ecosystem of the flesh i feel
like they make like soft ecosystem yeah yes i think they yeah they're trying to
butter you up they're
trying to calm you down yeah this is all right well that gets you going they
know they're trying to
i believe the on the x i had to get off the x because then that's all porn it
was it was all
porn but then i would find that at other times when i was i think they geotag
it as well i noticed
the algorithm was different when i was out and about in public i was getting
different things
recommended to when i was alone in a room yes what do you mean you're just
walking down the street
he's like there's nothing erotic here really this is nice and then i was alone
in a room and it was
very erotic and i they know where i am and they you might just be in a room
getting horny too though
to be fair you could be right you could be right but that could be i i know
that because i get in a
hotel room and i'm like i look like britney spears from like an early music
video i'm just laying on
i'm just gyrating my hips on the bed i've chum bound in chains like the
algorithm's crazy right
i did i've bought a new phone though i'm trying again with a dumb phone oh
really i've got the
minimalist phone it's a normal chrome phone it's like a flip no this it just
has a e-reader kindle
screen so you can do everything on it but it looks terrible it's black and
white i'm gonna text you
still get 80085 that's not bad you're going for the uh kind of like somewhat
dumb phone but it'll
give you maps and stuff though maps uber spotify that's all you and then i
think i'm safe and then
i think i can just you're gonna see one set of grayscale tits and it's gonna
change everything
now you're gonna be like oh i'm gonna get a but i'll be chasing that in real
life i'll start
wearing weird glasses in the bedroom to start getting at your sketchiest ship
from vietnam
you have an artist down there you got a plug down there hello no it's my egg
rolls
hell yeah thank you time out pause the podcast we got finally got your egg
rolls no no i can wait i
can hold off i can delay gratification if you can go without ejaculating in
almost a year
then i can you have you're soft mode basically what's what's soft soft mode is
when a woman can
get it out of you oh no so i'm i'm trying to do i'm hard mode i mean i'm the
heart all the time
mode basically but uh i um you're celibate yeah i'm trying to be because i'm
trying to be like a good
like cat good catholic man desert i would say desert catholic desert yeah i'm
like a desert yeah
desert father right now just yeah just just in my exodus just roaming around
the desert getting lost
but you're getting jacked as well what you've oh yeah yeah i thought you meant
i was getting no
i'm not i'm i'm kidding yeah i've been gonna get jacked one way or the other
dude well that's the
thing i've been trying my back is just full of cum what's your secret i was
like well you gotta you
gotta not jerk off for six months that you start there you're never gonna
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it's been uh it's
been good i uh what do you what do you do if you're walking down the street and
you see like an attractive
woman i just fall in love immediately i have a giant heart pound out of my
chest my tongue on rolls and
god forbid i'm wearing glasses because those eyeballs i've read you you're
supposed to from desert catholic
training you're supposed to just see them and as soon as you feel your like
body chemistry change you just
wish them the best you go i just really hope she has a good life just like
sailing hill mary my brain
it's like i can't think of her like that the two i think it's two monks walking
along and the old monk
and the young monk and they see a beautiful woman and the young monk shields
his eyes and looks away and
the old monk is able to look at her and the young monk's like oh you're you a
pervert you're able to look
at a woman and the old monk's like i'm so ordered i'm ab