Name: Ep 569 - A Derosa Garden (feat. Joe Derosa)
Uploaded: 2025-07-24T12:01:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 569 - A Derosa Garden (feat. Joe Derosa)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 569 - A Derosa Garden (feat. Joe Derosa)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-24. Transcript available.

Ep 569 - A Derosa Garden (feat. Joe Derosa)

the wild wild west two hours we're doing two whatever you want to do yeah just
know the pace
page oh i like that man i like that approach can you guys not release this till
october
can you say i'm joking i was gonna say i thought they're special yeah i'm dead
totally yeah also
i was waiting to share it for this episode thank you i was in a tomb on monday
i did i was trust
me when you hit me back i was like he just did he's he's in the tomb i we're
sorry because
discussing the tomb i was just in is the tomb was sarcophagus i was in i've
risen i'm lazarus right
now this is the third day i'm actually what's the tube like are you is the tomb
the bed or the couch
the tomb is i just played there's a new game called ready or not and i played
it for two days that's
awesome i played the entire i played the entire i played every mission
meanwhile it's so long
psychologically what's the thought is it thought process it's usually it's a
hundred percent on the
mission which is all right so that's one it might be a bad way to deal with
stress because i'm just
focused on that and then you go oh shit i forgot about all the problems you
know i mean you're not
you're not trying to work out any problems you're going we got to fucking clear
this room fellas breach
breach but then while you respawn you have 15 seconds you get killed you get
killed on some
way and then you go yeah fucking game fucking this game sucks fuck oh shit i
forgot my life sucked
fuck fuck the game's awesome i suck is it a war game yeah it's just uh you're a
swat team
oh that's great you're gonna love it and the video games are back dude these
guys made a wild ass game
oh man i want to get that you're breaking into like child porn fucking
facilities you're breaking yeah
wow yeah yeah it's really uh dark fucked up game i'm getting that today yeah
well get ready to enter
the tomb how good's it feel clear the child porn sanctuary feels good yeah that's
nice it feels
really good yeah that's awesome yeah and it's like so there's just a blast you
just like i was about
to say you blast everyone in there yep you go what the fuck are you guys doing
dude that's totally fair
if you're in like a industrial child what yeah you clear out like a school
shooting can you run away
you can hide for a while
fucking a this game sounds fucking awesome it sounds like every dude's fantasy
is wrapped up into one
it's like obviously stopping a school shooting obviously wearing swat gear just
that alone everyone
wants to wear swat tactical gear although ever since there's all a picture of
big chungus at the
protest during blm i realized i could never rock the swat gear what too big to
wear swat gear
how so when you're a big guy in swat gear it looks fucking hilarious
have you ever seen it you've seen a big fat guy in swat gear never thought
about it i'll show you
big chungus i feel like you would look like a juggernaut there's also there is
that yeah there
is that i could wear the hurt locker fucking and just be juggernaut but juggernaut
sucks you get
shot fucking nine million times you play games man no i can't have it man i won't
stop playing it
it's like a complete time suck you got a full family too so yeah yeah yeah i
imagine there's not a
ton of but wait do you play with the kids though not yet it's getting there
though yeah there could
be some aerial cart with a five-year-old soon yeah that's insane he can't be
the big junk he didn't
have the right gear his gear is too small yeah it's getting too fat for your
tactical gear would be tough
yeah because then it's literally life or death you have a you have viscera
exposed
yeah that looks like when they brought back boba fett but he was fat now and
they didn't adjust the
costume it was like up here some australian dude just been drinking for 10
years and they're like you
want to do the role again he's like yeah yeah then white on this coal his
helmet's like a yarmulke on his head
i don't know bobo's an australian man or he's or he might be from um because if
that's the case
he lives actually on new zealand i think he's new zealand oh okay yeah that guy
he was in that
movie when we were kings which i feel like i always i don't even think i've
heard of that movie
as as i was saying it i was like i feel like shane there's a movie shane would
love but i'm basing that only on the title
the movie takes place at a bus stop it takes place at a bus stop in west philadelphia
i think it's about like i think it's kind of like um slum dog millionaire
except in new zealand or one
of those kind of movies okay i think or like city of god maybe it's like that
city of god's awesome
i've never seen either movie i heard they're both great city of god's awesome
yeah i'm a great title
i'm a big subtitle movie guy i like that let's talk movies what let's talk
movies we've never seen
city of god city of god rules you'd like it wait i want to look up what when we
were i'm going to look
it up at one point what what when we were king the best movie analysis ever i
don't know what it's
about it's like two movies i've ever seen it's a guy from new zealand i just
saw one of the shittiest
movies i've ever seen what uh opus the new john malkovich movie where all right
let me just shoot the
premise at you yeah and you'll immediately know we're off to a bad start john malkovich
plays a uh
once famous uh r b pop singer
how does how does he do that who disappears he was like big in the 80s and then
he disappears and
comes back 30 years later and for his opus he's putting out another album after
30 years of absence
that always works yeah and it's john malkovich damn it'd be nice if it was like
late kels like yo
pussy is a buffet i love your pussy i thought they were going to make him like
a you know like a
pink floydy dude yeah when i heard the premise and i'm like oh no he's like a
dance singer
like a fucking like like like uh it's so but and then they so all these people
get invited to his big
compound to listen to the record and everybody starts dying and it's it's it's
get out it's like
the 57th time they've remade get out since fucking get out came out it sucks
dick it is a terrible
fucking movie who's the villain who's who's he is yeah you're describing a
pretty sick movie you'd think
you'd think it sucks also sounds like uh an event that me and my squad should
probably breach and
yes yeah tie up the civilians make sure everybody's taking care of it i could
have stopped you could
stop the onslaught there's gonna be some people this game's a hit dude yeah
there's gonna be some
people breaching some houses you think so i think so because it does it gives
you that yeah desire
yeah your ex-wife's got a new boyfriend that would be four of your boys you go
all right stack the door
yeah they should be doing school drop off by that one shock on the lock frag it
745 they haven't left
yet they should be doing drop off right now we're going in i think they i don't
think i'm making this
up didn't they use forza to actually train uh race drivers didn't they actually
play
fucking forza as like a simulation before they got on the actual road i'm not
sure probably grant or
yeah oh grant turismo that's what it was yeah that makes sense that's insane
though that games are
getting like i actually think what you're saying is i think like these games
actually could be like
tactical training before you're in the field uh i mean you know yeah nate's all
i would have failed
just a civilian came running around the corner i was like oh
that scared the shoot out of me they do scare you how do you distinguish there's
a oh the worst one
there's like a for real there's like a pulse nightclub what and the thing that
they did in the game that
always fucked me up from the actual shooting that people described it was
everyone's phones going off
that was dead whoa like when the cops went in to clear it out you could just
hear every phone in
the building buzzing which is so sad yeah i didn't think about it and they kept
that in the game that's
in the game oh it's like a up game yeah man that used to be they used that used
to get a lot
of backlash remember there was a modern warfare where you had to take down the
airport shooter yeah
there was like people were like this is up this is too far and then other
people were like no
this is important like well it's definitely not important but it's crazy that
mission was awesome
that she was crazy i don't know i feel like it is important if you just sit
there and do that for
hours and hours and hours i do feel like if the real thing happened you might
on some level be more
prepared well that's exactly the problem because in this mission you are the
shooters oh no first half
you walk around with a machine gun in a airport you're an airport shooter yes
it's enough and the mission
wait i don't remember that part the first part you were the shooter no you're
not you're literally
just going through killing every civilian oh my god yeah yeah yeah it's really
bad all right that might
be too far it's nuts yeah that's not good that's why that's why call of duty
hit the old switcheroo
it's like oh i'm a purple woman sliding yeah all right i see it they hit the
pinnacle they hit the
peak yeah they're like we made the top of the mountain although in grand theft
auto you're
essentially doing that anyway but grand theft auto there's rumors that there is
a pride parade in
the city no fellas don't don't don't let me catch you don't dude those videos
are going to be
fucking chaos oh every single person that downloads the game going straight
although i feel i do feel
like no way no way and there you go what would happen to be fair it's time the
hookers in gta get a
break yeah true the hookers are going to be watching and be like thank fucking
god finally finally we can
relax they're next once you get five stars from the parade you're headed
straight to the strip club
yeah they're doing that that's uh i wonder if they'll make it off limits i
think they're going
to reel this game back it'll get hacked that game gets hacked too i think they're
going to reel this one
back one i was friends with this guy laszlo that was one of the top developed
guys he was the guy
that put us all into the games and and he left i forgot you were in grand theft
auto yeah five that's
awesome it's wild that is awesome faces in it i did mocap it was insane damn i
would that mocap's a
nightmare it would suck how much did you feel like you must have looked nuts in
a mocap by the way it was
old school mocap wasn't this harrison fortune where they put blue dots on your
face like i had a helmet
on with a camera it was crazy you had to wear like a frog suit like green man
what was your role what
did you play there's um when you go into the safe house or the safe house
whatever it's called
there's a tv and there's shows you can watch and there's a show with the
whoever the action star is
in the in that series that's like the stallone type yeah it's a reality show
about him and i play his
new agent and i'm like this coke head and it's me and him we did like we shot
like 30 minutes we
shot a full episode of this thing whoa and it's in the game and then we went
back and did additional
content later that never got released that i just had to sign crazy ndas about
i'm not allowed to talk
about it whoa that's awesome but anyway it was awesome it was he just you in
this yeah yeah yeah
this episode is brought to you by viore so there's a lot of sports out there
obviously you've got
basketball baseball and football but then there's running tennis mma climbing
yoga pickleball and
that's before you get into all the different ways you can train and work out
right but the good news is
that you only need one pair of shorts for all of it the core short from viore
that's right
wear one pair of shorts all the time that's all you need to work out the core
short that's all i do
no one's gonna think you stink no not at all you can get two pairs you can
switch them every day or
just do 