Name: Ep 570 - The Alabama Slamma
Uploaded: 2025-08-01T12:01:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 570 - The Alabama Slamma' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 570 - The Alabama Slamma' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-01. Transcript available.

Ep 570 - The Alabama Slamma

the wild wild west you think i should take the sworn in as deputy for the day
yeah why wouldn't
you that's crazy i don't as soon as i get sworn in i'm gonna discharge my
firearm you have straight
into america end up in jail it'd be sick if you say all this fucking sentence
they'd have to the
cops would have to defend me that yeah they mean you'd be picked up by their
legal they would go
dude don't worry we got you yeah we got should happen should happen to all the
time i just hope
you don't get stabbed in jail yeah i'd have to commit a heinous crime i'd have
to go on the
inside with you i can't yeah i can't let you in there yeah you wouldn't i can't
let me in there
alone i would i'd have to i'd go i'd have to like punch a lady or something if
you have to do it
fast track i don't want to wait out a trial yeah exactly yeah this is for my
bro yeah and just
finally dude someone the afternoon you go what the fuck it's interesting you
say that
it's funny you bring that up just tell my wife like you were actually going to
a notre dame game
and just fucking sucks because i love you babe i'm sorry you'll understand one
day you'll understand
get into prison i'm already running it and i just immediately trick you out
dude i'm just
instantly just like i'd be one of your boys no i'd say you'd be my bottom boy i'd
say go
you thought you're doing me a favor you came in you got me at a bad time i get
turned out i'd turn
you out sure my trial will take too long my wife would be like yeah it's fine
actually i forgive him
like shut the fuck up i gotta go to jail you gotta join the airing brotherhood
machine
i love you babe one day you'll understand then i get in there yeah and i just
get turned out you
turn me out day one turn you up matt just let that guy plow i'd have that
picture you and that dolphin
hung up on my wall everyone would be using my room to jack off to that photo uh
yeah i was uh i was
have you have you like caught the thing with uh dr umar and like his fact his
account got frozen no
it's all it's all in like online everywhere but the thing that made me laugh
first of all he's been
doing a school for like 10 years which is like you know whatever everyone says
it's a scam i don't
know i don't know about the guy but he's been doing a school for 10 years and
you know taking funding all
this stuff but recently because you know school year is coming upon us he did a
a video from his
car where he's like my accounts have been hacked they're frozen right now there's
been fraud on my
activity i don't know what's going on it's anybody repeats him he says
everything three times he goes
my counts my accounts have been hacked y'all my accounts have been hacked guys
my accounts have
been hacked then he goes to his next point why do you get hacked they're saying
there's fraud on the
account which is kind of sketchy because if you have fraud in your account they
don't freeze your
funds yeah typically i don't think they would i don't know i don't know i don't
know i don't know
but the the reason i'm bringing this up he has there's two people two online
people i think who
have been like trolling him and kind of like kicking this investigation off one
of the guy's names is
past the bussy he says like three times he goes and i want to let you know it's
like whatever the
other guy's name is and past the bussy federal charges can be brought against
you federal charges can be
brought against pass the bussy the people he's from philly i think too from philly
yeah that checks
out yeah yeah that checks out but yeah man he seems like uh the man dude i
always like him when i
seems like truly hilarious when i see him on stuff i always watch but he's goofing
how much do you think
he's goofing i think he's goofing a little you see the memes about him catching
people with snow
bunnies they're so good it's great they're so good but yeah there's it's
starting to take a pretty
negative turn because he does have the frederick frederick douglas marcus scarvey
academy
and people waiting apparently for 14 years for this thing to open in wilmington
delaware and it's
it's not opening no dude damn 14 years and you know so but now someone hacked
his accounts now
the school's not going to open for another year it's fucking pissing me off
bullshit i can bull
fucking pass the bussy pass the bussy knock it off we're trying to get this
school we need to go to
fd fd you should we should move back and enroll i'm gonna go i don't know i
wonder if there's an age
limit we get billy madison marcus garvey academy yeah you'd have to become a
you have to face your
mumble rap fierce they'd be all mumble rappers it's not every non-stop mumble
rappers it'd be
them i'd be in it'd be the marcus garvey mumble rap i'd be in there academy i
mean i hope he opens
it up and everyone's hating on him everyone's like you know calling him a grifter
and saying you know
he's just stealing money but i'd like to see him open the school and shut down
he deserves a little
bread he's giving us good entertainment yeah apparently his booking fee from
what i heard
is i try to book him on the podcast and he was asking for racks on racks really
yeah dude that's
at least what the booker was like yeah you gotta you gotta pay him racks on
racks i'm like can i just
donate to the school but now the account's frozen dude i'm past past the bussy
uh past past the bussy
federal indictment if you get caught messing with the fdmg stop knock it off
past the bussy
getting attacked by a guy past the bussy is so funny the thing that was
freaking me out though
like if you have fraud in your account they don't like like hey no more money
for you you know what
i mean like if someone fucks with your credit cards or your debit card so it
could be that like he might
i don't know i don't know it does freeze your account that always sucks yeah
like there's something
fraudulently going on we shut down your debit card you're like does it free you
see i've only ever had
it on my credit card well either one yeah okay what the dang that's the one
card yeah true he was
saying both he has account for the school and a personal account both are shut
down right now so
you know thought some t's and p's yeah t's and p's go out to the doctor to the
good doctor t's and
p's the prince of pan-africanism yes his words that's what he calls himself
that's what he calls
himself yes dude he is falling gadafi's steps he what he's falling in gadafi's
steps he is africanism
he is he is genuinely very everything i watch him on i'm like i love it i love
watching him just
berate people for snow bunnies yeah and also yeah sometimes it's very fun when
people are racist
against white people it's it's fun to watch you go look at that that's fun i
any i'm a sucker for
unless it's the cincinnati beatdown what's the cincinnati beatdown oh you're on
x get off of x the
cincinnati beatdown it's so funny when will it stop this is the cincinnati i
don't give it a name
i know the cincinnati beatdown sounds like it was wwf
the cincinnati beatdown was that the couple that left the jazz club and the
lady it's just
that pitt lady down got they got up dang it was really really bad it looked bad
out oh i only ever
saw the one still image of a lady oh no it was rough very bad she looks dead
yeah she got
fucking cracked jesus christ the cincinnati beatdown yeah my my i made the
mistake of going on x during
the cb and i'm like yeah and it's man they're radicalized they're trying to
radicalize me man
yeah they really are but they get they get everyone on that i just saw some
other videos
what's just the reverse you know just like we're done being pushed around this
is what happens
yeah true you're gonna get a cincinnati beatdown i mean that should be a
national holiday when did the
boat fight happen the boat fight was the alabama boat fight how did the boat
fight not get a cool
nickname the alabama slammer the boat fight yeah that was that was a big win
that was their boston tea
party they're just they're throwing whites overboard oh that was oh that was
the arizona tea party that
was the arizona iced tea party alabama slam has happened the anniversaries on
optimum noctus
oh nice you gotta have to celebrate by throwing guard dog over
off the stage make me walk the plank you gotta walk the plank all the pirates
got the booty
i gotta be honest that one that was a tough day for the whites oh that was a
tremendous
the cincinnati the cincinnati beatdown is just that's terrible but that's a
tremendous the alabama
slammer that was that was crazy that was a tough one it's just drunk white
dudes
anyway the black dude swam across you remember that
fucking black dude came out of water yeah dude yeah it was it was crazy we
thought we controlled the
seas apparently we controlled the sea yeah that's ours that's safe the doc's
the best place to fight a
black guy you go oh you can't get me here so it's the pin one comes out of
water you go oh
shit finish him all you gotta do is go no longer no longer dude oh now you need
my help
fine i'll save you yeah what what kicked off the alabama slammer i think drunk
people on a boat
yeah there's a powder keg down there yeah blasting scared white people on a
boat black people i'm sure
minding their own business yeah for sure sure they were minding their own
business
oh they slapped a black security slapped the black security guard i think was
telling them
they couldn't do what they were doing like which was he probably was excited to
do that
yeah i will say as a white person it is offensive when someone tells me i can't
do whatever
so that security guards i think that spans yeah i know i'll tell you he really
hates it
cincinnati one was devastating though that was that was a bad look that's a bad
look you know it's
fucked up and look there's no big fine it's not security guards aren't
protected like if you beat
the shit out of a mailman you get it's like a forty thousand dollar fine yeah
you can just smack a
security guard i mean it's assault yeah that's the worst case scenario could
happen true you trigger the
alabama you're like the franz ferdinand of alabama slammer i mean yeah that was
it god that would suck
and the united forces i don't even think they knew each other the swimming guy
i don't think
had anything to do with the security guy he just he saw an injustice like a russian
submarine he came
out yeah just waiting off the coast just waiting this is an ad by better help
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yes and from that talking point my next thing is things that i've really
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that makes sense there's a lot of misinformation on the internet how much
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before i found something that actually worked for me if at all guys i'll be
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