Name: Ep 577 - Bags On You (feat. Adam Eget)
Uploaded: 2025-09-19T12:01:24.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 577 - Bags On You (feat. Adam Eget)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 577 - Bags On You (feat. Adam Eget)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-19. Transcript available.

Ep 577 - Bags On You (feat. Adam Eget)

wild wild west we can we can start on that that was hilarious yeah the show
dude also that one
girl who just caught a stray in the middle of that where they're like it turns
out it was the
mom who was texting the girl the entire time and bullying her but then they
were like
that one girl was always a we thought it was her and then they just interviewed
this
other high school girl and they're like so you were a cunt right and she was
like i guess i
guess i was mean a little bit it was probably that courtney oh yeah nobody came
out of that
unscathed that was pretty fun did anything happen to the kids did they end up
like doing anything
i felt yeah the daughter it was real sad to see the daughter like that like
they had the body cam when
the cops go to the house and be like we've traced the number it's it's coming
from your mom oh it's
really fucking heartbreaking yeah devastating yeah did they hit her with a joe
like joe who like
it was joe missed opportunity big time
that was fried i was just home that's my niece's number one joke
my niece with down syndrome that's literally it's a great joke knock knock who's
there
don't you go joe who she's gonna don't mama but she switched it up now she
knows her best joke is
not not you go who's there she goes don't joe who she goes joe biden
come on man it's a modern twist on an old classic that's great that she claps
because
everyone laughs she's like oh dude that kid's awesome she's adorable yeah that's
great great
yeah i got to go home and spend time with those those animals this this week it
was nice got to
see little kids football i didn't know they played that young it was yeah
hilarious like
fucking six years old five and six yeah people pancaking no one cares about concussions
oh my
god these kids are getting fucking leveled dude they don't know how to hit so
they sprint into each
other and no one has balance so it's just hit stick after hit stick but they
break runs dude
i bet oh that's awesome yeah there's like three kids that can run
they get the ball they're gone that's awesome they weren't keeping score though
i was a little pissed
you should they don't you should yeah i kept the scores shamrocks won yeah
because you're
fucking gambling beat the cb eagles yeah i wish i was again i didn't know they
put that i thought
it was all flag until flag so did i suiting them up wake what are you doing
weigh-ins or what wait
how also there's no fucking way anymore i saw a kid a unit on like a fucking
this kid must have
been 200 pounds it's like not there was the next the next kids up the next team
like ponies or
peewees were warming up and there's no weight limit now they just have to play
on the interior
offensive line got you so the interior line is like for real what kid that was
like six feet
250 he was in like second grade he was huge that's crazy yeah he was just a
very very obese kid
he was fucking bringing it i'm glad they're getting their shine that's kind of
nice yeah it is pretty
great yeah i think the greatest kindergartner right tack right tackle or right
guard there ever was
they said he threatened to shoot a kid what yeah he had never played sports
they just got him they
just got him off the couch and the first person that hit him he was like i'm
gonna put two in your
head were his words second grader yeah oh honky he's pulled him off the cod
though if you pull a kid
off the cod that's exactly that's literally exactly what they said they're like
dude this isn't called
dude oh i'm gonna fucking shoot you in the head so i got that going on it's a
lot yeah that's a lot
stress what was it did you get a flag personal foul for death threats no that
was a practice that was
against his own teammate yeah one of his coaches told me he's gonna channel
that to the other teams
it's time for him to start wailing i don't mind having a little jalen carter on
your squad
no i mean somebody who's willing to die first play the game spit on the
quarterback
you liked it i saw dac spit first wasn't there a reason for that yeah dac did
spit at him first
yeah we didn't know yeah during the game yeah like that's the craziest thing i've
ever seen yeah
he got he got kicked out he got kicked out of the game right before the first
snap yeah before the
first play he walked into the cowboys huddle and spit on the quarterback yeah
but i saw all right
you're out yeah you can't do that you were fired up i was furious did he go
face or like right on
his chest but dac spit towards him dac spit from a distance towards him he's a
cowboy which is a good
move if you're gonna fire someone up yeah i think it's easy to get nicks on the
side like okay i like
it i think you get jalen though that's a guy you gotta target yeah if you're an
opposing quarterback
you can get him kicked out of the game you can get him if he stays in the game
you're in trouble
yeah that's why he felt that's why he dropped so far in the draft you guys
always everybody falls
right in your lap it's unbelievable you guys had a good draft yeah but the g-men
yeah yeah yeah we we
always seem to have a good draft it just doesn't pay out you guys lost again
this weekend right
dude i mean and the dodgers are on the bridge
get swept huh a lot of tough losses this this month i'm with you it's all right
i know this is all we're talking sports yeah notre dame going on too i know i'm
a curse i'm a curse on
whatever team i love really never mind the eagles just won the super bowl phillies
look pretty
good phillies are good but notre dame oh and two they're two they're they're
their losses you can
take though they're gonna go ten too i'm channeling what you did last year so
what if they just you
know this galvanizes the team and they come back and win i was like matt you're
being a girl right now
you're too emotional i checked back in like 13 weeks later he's like they've
won literally every
single game every single game since you said that you just pulled off a huge
upset against penn state
well now we're talking yeah now we're talking my north texas college football
dynasty you only watch
so many l's where you take the ball into your own hands i had to with the
quarterback
i still can't believe i bet on penn state today
that was a good game that was exciting i walked in i rode my bike five and a
half miles
charge it up and then i walk in and you're playing texas game winning screaming
eagles it was incredible
yeah i mean they look good taking north texas to the promised land on heisman
good luck
true not many can do it you're on heisman right there obviously i'm on heisman
and you're running
you're you're cutting through the defense like that that's what i do
a lot of guys have hobbies and families play the computer on hard it's crazy i'm
just playing with
north texas focused on recruiting you know a lot of guys have a fulfilling life
trying to take the mean green we got clemson in the rose bowl as soon as this
podcast is over and uh
i'm just proud of my guys no matter what like i don't think it's looking good
clemson on heisman in the rose bowl but i mean dude after this the way this
team came together
yeah it was pretty impressive to see yeah i appreciate that i was hyped the
coaching offers
i thought were kind of a slap in the face coaching off a little slap in the
face yeah that was like
i took the mean green to the whatever the rose bowl don't even start i got a
fucking purdue head coach
the fuck it wasn't like new mexico too i am the offensive coordinator for the
mean green i'm not
even the head coach oh you're all coordinator just the oc dude my cousin was
fucking quarterback from new mexico oh yeah that's crazy one of them you see
you get his cousin
yeah he's got two he's like two dynasties that's what they're saying on on
and they're jewish too yeah jewish quarterbacks unbelievable yeah who knew that's
why
it's a good but they're not they're not a good christian like arch manning
they're the only jews not running up the score are the egots and that's true
well maybe they'll play the uh cumberland valley uh peewee football team
dropped 40 000 on them
no but it's it's serious yeah
i checked i checked the news is that over yet not at all no it's ripping it's
ripping just got
ruled by the un like an official genocide no it's really bad and yeah you want
to but we went to
chicago we did yeah there's some harsh videos yeah whatever really really
day oh yes yeah it's just it's a genocide yeah no you and if it ruled
officially i've been waiting
for that to call it out yeah the un ruling well you don't know i don't know it's
funny somebody was
like you don't even say free palestine i looked it up i've been saying it too
much before the conflict
all right slow down yeah the jays will get you they're good
they're good they could i mean they literally could if you ever see me texting
any of you guys
never mind yeah what nothing all right my love i love for something i shouldn't
even
i love uh chicago was incredible
my love matt this episode is brought to you by prize picks man i'm so happy we've
gotten football back
like what was i doing before having a life doubt it bro true happy as i am
nothing brings down the
sunday vibes like an injury sure the players that feel the pain but the pain i
feel for my picks
that hurts so much more than the pain from a guy that's trying that's why you
got to play on prize
picks give me that they offer injury reboots so if one of your players leaves
the game in the first
half and doesn't return prize i felt playing at penn state won't count i got it
as a loss
i'm gonna have a seizure dude sorry they were the first app to offer injury
reboots i was trying to
read that they offer injury reboots okay so that gives me some freedom on my
picks so i'm thinking more
on jalen hurts rush yards and let's go with more on christian mccaffrey's rush
and receiving yards
i like the way he runs the ball oh that's how a white man runs he just plays
the game the right
way what the what the hell always always like adding a guy like that to my
lineup that's uh this is how
prize picks adds an extra layer of fun of the game it's a simple way and you
can get it done in 60
seconds what's there not to like uh millions of users can't be wrong download
the app today and use
code drench to get 50 in lineups after you play your first five dollar lineup
that's code drench to get
fifty dollars in lineups after you play your first five dollar lineup prize
picks it's good to be right
also guys i'm about to start hitting the comedy clubs again pretty soon i got a
bunch of stuff coming
out right now the only thing that's nailed down is off the hook comedy club in
naples florida
on november 7th 2025 i have to be tight i have a couple others that'll be
coming out so stay tuned
all right i have houston and tulsa this weekend then i'm in florida the 25th 26
27th then
october 3rd baltimore maryland october 17th through the october 17th and 18th i'm
at resorts world
in las vegas and then november 7th san francisco november 8th sacramento so go
to those thank you
so we get into chicago is nice dude that was one of the best seriously one of
the best weekends
of my real go see oasis yeah oasis world epic i forgot i saw exactly
i'm with him though i kind of barely saw it i know i saw it i saw too much of
it yeah
i just got washed out i was jamming harder than anyone possibly you were jamming
i was jamming
harder than dude dude but no no coming down saying what's up before the show
taking a group picture
maybe the fattest photo i've ever taken ruined the photo i was like no one's
getting this photo
in your fucking bucket hat you look like a fat gilligan the fattest photo
possible
and i ruined it i'm a huge like it can't be that bad and i looked at it i was
like yeah i can see i
can see the redaction no let's let's not put that one out dude i was just
praying i wouldn't embarrass
myself and i did you did i know i said epic like 14 times he was uh full-on
full-on chris farley snl
totally remember when you did wonderwa