Name: Ep 594 - Gooniverse (feat. Steve Gerben & Billy)
Uploaded: 2026-01-14T20:35:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 594 - Gooniverse (feat. Steve Gerben & Billy)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-14. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Ep 594 - Gooniverse (feat. Steve Gerben & Billy)' from Matt and Shane's Secret Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-14. Transcript available.

Ep 594 - Gooniverse (feat. Steve Gerben & Billy)

the wild wild west and we're live dude wow matthew thank you for joining us
bill thank you for
joining us steven thank you for joining us i appreciate you guys coming here
for sure matt
matt how are you i'm doing pretty good dude i haven't seen you in so long dude
so uncomfortable
so awkward why do you think it's awkward it's just so fucking weird between
guys i know what
you've been up to what do you think i've been up to you you've moved on what
training bro dude
cue the training montage that's all i'm doing i know i'm training you that when
well when i were
like in a couple months i want you to go damn dude i mean every time i see you
i go bro you need to
put that he's the smashing machine i train for you're literally the smashing
machine have you seen
that no please smash my cusper i didn't watch i train for you and my mommy i
love like oh dude
this summertime my mom gives me the thumbs up or thumbs down if i go to the
pool take my shirt off
she'll literally be like you got fat or she'll go wow you put on some muscles
hello mommy's muscle
man that's what i try to be over here mommy's little muscle man i'm i'm hoping
to be her muscle
man you're gonna be you're more jack than bill i had right now it's kind of
crazy dude i never
thought i'd start putting up i never thought you would either but not uh bench
lie lie lie
go high go high twice i'll get up there no i'm saying lie get up there 315
finally for 10
ah never mind all right lie what's the squat we got the same thick ass legs bro
squat i'm all
calisthenics right now so there's nothing what's your squat what was your heaviest
squat ever i have
no fucking idea probably 225 i hate that shit i would just throw my back out
every time i squatted
i do like 25 for a week and then just i'm not trying to be a dick 225 for warm-up
dude 225 for
warm-up weight okay i'm gonna try to get up to 350 i don't think i'll be able
to get the thousand
pound you should i came i flew here to tell you i don't think i'll be able to
get the thousand
you flew here to go i can't do it i don't think i'm gonna do 900 pound club
make the shirt you're
like uh liver king when he admitted he's on juice what are you talking about
don't bring him up i'm
mad he come over here he's gonna get you the wi-fi password he's the boogey man
rogan did you see him
do that what he said the wi-fi passwords fuck seth rogan oh yeah he calls him
seth
he's fully lost his mind that's probably he's coming for you this has nothing
to do with me
yeah i don't want to i'm not talking shit on the liver king me and brian johnson
go way back
dude i don't know what you're doing right now he's gonna fucking get you yeah i'm
not scared of that
dude what how are you not afraid of how you're naming people cry what he's
mentally unstable right
now that's exactly who you don't want to bother he's on i don't think he can
travel across state
lines currently he can dude i've been following his instagram he was just on
vacation he could travel
yeah the king can move dude look yes in front of the board the king can move
yeah i'm gonna get you
on dude okay yeah i won't mention every time for the liver king i'm not afraid
of bj that's all i'm
saying how bro he's terrifying pretty boy muscles bro what are you saying
fucking primal dude i'm just
fucking primal i'm primal i'm not on steroids dude i'm more primal than him
dude if a caveman got steroids
it would take hold on genuinely this is a mistake like an actual mistake i don't
care i wanna liver
king's gonna get you you want to die by a liver king getting killed by liver
king would be sick death by liver king
so what do they like pound it lock it down fuck fuck i've been watching a lot
of it
it's good so you'd like the liver king uh i don't i mean you don't like me god
damn gerbin and billy
versus the liver king gotta be good and true i love the liver king i don't like
3.0 like 1.0 and then
once he started admitting that he's on steroids fuck that just lie until you
die yeah that's true
that's what i was trying to tell you with the numbers for him just lie by the
numbers as soon as
someone goes how much can you bet you get a 315. i don't know i don't know what
are they gonna prove
it i don't understand that it's like dudes act like they're not going to get in
the hall of fame
if they get someone catches them doing steroids like dude you're just chilling
like nothing it
doesn't matter on steroids now pretty much well speak for yourself not me but i'm
saying man you've
been juice i'm telling you i'm the juice would you be able to fight in the ufc
currently 100 no way
usada would have you he's not a pissing hot you'd be burning cups but i don't
know for what maca
well but yeah mac is fine it's an herbal supplement you think maca bp's my t's
not even high i know my
t's literally not you t's the highest i got a spud with that this weekend what
i was like you just had
a kid your e is through the roof and he immediately started smacking himself in
the face and we had to
be like no no no no no dude dude that's that's i sorry that was high t self
punch is a high
tier spot he immediately went to the self punch he started punching himself and
i was like you have
too much estrogen oh he was hitting us with some liberal talking points so it
was very fun to be
like dude he is running wild it's devastating and he took it to heart yeah that's
the it kills you if
you're if you're over 40 white male and you get called to live it's sucks dude
pretty much a death
sentence it really is i was really i was uh gurby's the gurby's conservative as
dude i i know he's like
quiet about it yeah he is no i mean you know you don't have to really answer
okay yeah i mean there's
certainly obviously some some conservative you know you ever see imperium no i
don't think so uh harry
potter's like a neo-nazi no but i've definitely seen hilarious you should watch
it wait daniel ragliff
plays a neo-nazi yeah yes i've definitely seen the uh clips of it that's kind
of nice it's very insane
he hit some wild ones he's like on a march yeah i've seen it he would not like
you oh
do you think an actor that's serious though when he's playing that role goes
full method
he did go full method i don't know he really you gotta go 100 if you're gonna
do that you gotta rip
the band-aid off just say it just all right here we go now gurby's what's going
on with you no i'm
sick i got that like two two week thing that billy was saying he had oh that's
nice that's nice to be
able to say it's going around i'm not the only one for the two weaker well i
because i'd feel bad if
i but i it really has been going on have you had no i've been in texas i've
been safe from the plague
oh geez but we have the whole allergy thing going on so everyone's kind of sick
yeah it's worse yeah
it fucking blows gotcha i'm worried i gotta i'm gonna i have to go to like houston
this weekend
i'm so worried i'm gonna get sick i think it's pa that you got to worry about
pennsylvania is
no texas oh really way worse oh oh the cedar with the with allergies oh no i i
meant with like
what's going around oh yeah i could get it yeah all found billy had it your nicotine
patch didn't work
no it did viral that's definitely your nicotine badge didn't work no i was i
was on the bandwagon i was
hoping it worked i was i was dancing around and then like a little baby came
around and i think
that's what got me sick and then i proceeded to call from my girlfriend's mouth
accidentally and
she got sick and then everyone else in the house got sick damn a baby came
around when you were dancing
what was elaborate on that you said you were dancing around no i was dancing
around getting sick
oh i thought you were dancing around and a baby came around you were kind of
bug chasing you were
bug chasing what you said i'm sorry when i talked to you you were like i want
to see if i
can get i wanted to yeah he was bug chasing all christmas i'm kind of jealous
you got it already
before if you were right before filming it would have been nice but if you're
going to have it i
think you really got it because uh i've literally been talking to you non-stop
for the last two days
yeah i'm gonna get it no but i'm saying grace had it while you guys were in
europe yeah so you want to
talk about that i don't believe it you dodged the plague you're in you're in
europe no everybody got the
plague that i was with yes every single person that's why i didn't fly back
with them the whole
wedding got the flu pooping and coughing and i was like i'm not getting on that
so i went to london
dude i went to old london town i went to the world darts championship instead
that's awesome rock dude
i was walking in a littler wonderland it was turds on a plane it was turds on a
plane oh i was avoiding
that yeah it's all stay in europe for three days i'm not getting on the third
plane what was that
chant that was like the uh the ricky hat and you remember yeah it was the it's
the exact same one
it's just there's only one ricky yeah yeah yeah yeah i remember buying into the
fact that he could
win oh we all did mainly because he was a white guy and then the fight started
we went whoops ricky
hat and uh mayweather he fought floyd mayweather and they made like it was like
hbo hbo did like the
24 7 leading out to it and you're watching it like dude hat and my wind yeah
although we've talked about
before i came back around when uh floyd walked out to born in the usa okay and
i was like what am i
doing that it's kind of nasty why am i doing this i agree with it is floyd undefeated
yeah it's kind
of nasty yeah he finished undefeated he kind of kind of ducked some of the big
guys until they were
old but he was old too yeah but he fought him when they were all geezed up it's
kind of he was supposed
to fight uh what's his name manny pacquiao like forever t-shirts it's awesome
pacquiao yeah yeah yeah
he's the man he ever wrote his 24 7 was hilarious that was awesome it's just
him he would sleep in the
hotel he's filipino he would sleep in a hotel room with like 15 people
what he would get like a hotel like a nice hotel and put 15 people they'd be on
every bar
i don't what are you talking about that's literally here that's in a hotel room
yeah
really let's bring 15 people into this oh no i'm saying to go to bed they would
all sleep in there
i could see you doing that and then he would sing karaoke in front of all of
them very seriously
dude set up versions of that i show memes very seriously yeah you would love
karaoke you would
love karaoke seriously yeah if our whole group of friends was gayer you'd be
the happiest guy on earth
yes he'd be so delighted we're all like myself we're all like let's just sing
tonight guys we don't need
alcohol or to go out let's just sit around and sing you'd be so happy you know
the one song that i really
would like to get down it's tough but uh one bourbon one scotch and one beer it's
pretty easy oh no
because it's it's like when he you're saying to sing is that james there's that
uh thoroughgood yeah
yeah can you sing what do you have so far well it's good acoustics down here
yeah no no because
don't make let's not let's just stop wasting time you're gonna sing it
don't make me talk you into this let's just do it let's just see where you're
at yeah well but uh
let's see i forget how's it start it's like uh oh yeah he's like uh i want to
tell you a story
about the house red blues you gotta get a little more guttery than that what
you gotta get a little
more guttery than that all right yeah yeah guttery is a good word actually yeah
uh i'll tell you a
story that's a little hall cogany yeah now but they call the clown friend blues
yeah keep it going
come on i can't i can't receive the problem i can't remember yeah you get the
lyrics you need
the lyrics for sure yeah yeah if you're doing yoki you need the lyrics for sure
you look up the lyrics to uh one bourbon one scotch one beer
i'm with this motherfucker for the next three months every day you've been good
dude you're 