Name: Chinaman
Uploaded: 2021-02-18T13:00:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chinaman' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Chinaman' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-02-18. Transcript available.

We've got some jokes, but that's alright.
But you know, are these street jokes?
No, no, no, no.
So you wrote them?
They're not, they're not.
Someone wrote them.
Some of them wrote, that you know?
Yeah, some people in this world.
Okay, cool.
When you're single trying to attract a partner,
it's important to project the qualities you desire,
which I understand, but boy, oh boy,
have I had to suck a lot of dick lately.
That's sort of like a Bobby Lee joke.
It was a lot like a Bobby Lee.
Alright.
I went out to buy a California Pizza Kitchen signature,
pepperoni frozen flatbread.
And by the time I got home, it was perfectly cooked
and entirely eaten.
100% true.
Oh, you ate it.
See, I love how he laughs.
I love how he laughs.
It's just pretty weird, man.
Some of them are odd.
I'm not going to lie to you.
But this is a joke.
Well, some of them, I think technically.
Like an observational joke?
I stand up for my company's 401k,
but I don't think I can run that far.
It is a long way.
Wait, I got to get one that's going to make Bobby happy.
I don't like when he scowls after that.
You ever hear of steampunk?
Yeah, I like it.
Oh, you do?
Yeah.
Well, there's a joke for you.
I wouldn't call myself a fan of steampunk,
but I will say it's the healthiest way to prepare punk.
There is an Asian guy in Texas, right?
This guy, his name is Mark.
He taught Pablo Francisco how to do impressions
back in the '90s, late '90s.
Oh, wow.
For many years, 15 years, his stage name was Chinaman.
Well, as racial, I should say, epithets go,
that seems to me to be the least offensive.
Because it's literally man from China.
I know.
I know.
I think Chinaman is pretty -- it's okay.
Except if it refers to all Asians.
Yeah, that's the problem.
But as an epithet, though,
don't you think Chinaman is the least offensive?
I do.
Man from China.
Unless it's a woman, but --
Yeah.
That's very true.
Then you'd say Chinaman woman.
Chinaman woman.
No.
But it's literally man from China.
I couldn't agree more.
Also, dude, Chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature.
Asian American, please.
Walter, this isn't a guy who built the railroads here.
This is a guy --
What the fuck are you --
Because what about this?
If you say Asian, right,
then that's everybody from that entire continent.
It's more specific to --
Meanwhile, Chinese hate Japanese.
Well, I mean, you're now --
Okay.
Well, I mean --
They raped their Nan King.
Yeah, I mean, I didn't see it,
but I heard about it.
Oh, yeah.
You don't forget that.
Somebody rapes your Nan King.
Why isn't that in USA Today?
Yeah, it's in USA Today.
Bob Hope, make God laugh.
So I stopped.
I'm like, "Hey, Bob Hope never played the fucking laugh."
And he's like, "Oh, yeah?"
I'm like, "What?"
And he's like, "One time he came in, man."
And he say to me, "Can I do five minutes?"
I say, "Can you do five minutes, you're Bob Hope?"
Is he Chinese?
I know, I can't do him.
Every time I do him, people say, "That sounds like a Chinaman."
And I go, "That's not a nice thing to call Asians."
You know?
Why do people do that?
Tell me some of the Asian things that, like, you know --
Like what you would call that.
Small penises?
No, no, no.
Names.
No, names, yeah.
Oh, well, yellow.
Yeah.
Yellow?
Yeah.
Who says that?
Who says yellow?
You're a coward.
Hey, yellow.
No, that's yeller.
You're yeller.
I've never heard of yellow.
No, I've never heard of yellow.
That's our skin color, but --
No, yellow man, that's what you say.
You made that up.
Oh, no, I --
Hey, yellow man, get out of my arm.
I've never heard that.
No.
Do you know all the --
I even --
Do you know all the racial things against Asians?
Against Asians?
Yeah, can you tell me them?
Well, Guy --
Guy Aoki got mad at me one day.
Why?
Why?
He's the head of the guys that get defended.
Yeah, yeah.
In terms of Asians.
So just -- well, tell me something.
Well, he knows them the best.
Yeah.
What about the -- this one?
I thought the G word.
The G word.
You know the G one?
Oh, Gook?
Yes.
It came out so naturally.
Oh, no.
Right about that.
You just said it just like, you know, secondhand.
I thought it was a term of --
I thought it was a term of endearment.
It's not.
But can I tell you guys --
Well --
It's not a term of endearment.
It's not a term of endearment.
It's not a term of endearment.
It's not a term of endearment.
It's not a term of endearment.
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