Name: Norm Macdonald Makes Jon Stewart Uncomfortable
Uploaded: 2021-04-04T00:44:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Makes Jon Stewart Uncomfortable' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Makes Jon Stewart Uncomfortable' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-04. Transcript available.

Norm Macdonald Makes Jon Stewart Uncomfortable

- Please welcome Norm MacDonald.
- He looked at it earlier.
- He did?
- He actually shaved it.
It's not even a bald spot.
- Oh my God.
- Norm MacDonald, nice to see you.
- Good to see you too, man.
- Your fans are out in force.
- Yeah, they're good people, right?
- They're good fine people.
How you doing with the new season?
Are they driving you nuts or they changed the name?
- Yeah, they changed the name from the Norm show to Norm.
- Yeah, that testing and research in there.
- It's like for the love of the game.
You know that movie, they changed that?
- What'd they change that to?
- For love of games.
- And that was it?
And they thought that was gonna work?
- Yeah, they decided to take the,
they thought buzz like slowed things down.
- Yeah.
Well, the remote controls and people have to flip around.
You know how it goes.
Are you enjoying the high life now?
Being the big network star and zooming around,
getting the free beers at places?
- Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
- They give you free beers?
- Don't they?
They don't give you the free beers?
- They give you, I got, I actually went to this bar
where they give you those.
You ever have them shooters?
- Sure.
The little, they're almost, they look like little beer.
- Yeah, no, no, no.
They're little tiny drinks like that.
And they have sex names, like dirty sex names.
Do you know what I'm saying?
- Oh, right, right, right.
- Sex on the beach or you know, blow things or something.
- Yeah.
- They give you those free?
- Yeah, I don't know.
That was an old bit I used to do in my standup
and I was gonna do it and then I just abandoned it.
- You bowed down, you thought,
"Oh, we're not gonna get into the beer thing.
We're not gonna go that direction."
You know, our show's up in Canada now.
We're up in your, do you think they could use a little bit
of our humor? - Oh, that's great.
I just got into a, what is it called, Saskatchewan?
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Congratulations.
- Well, you don't care.
You've fled that country.
- No, it seems like if you're already on in the United States,
that's the only thing that can.
- No, no, no, this has always been to get to Canada for us.
Yeah, always.
We've never, everybody's on in America,
but only Wayne and Schuster dominate Canada.
We're gonna-- - How do you know then?
- I had to take one.
That was really, no, I was up late one night.
You know, in Canada, they show naked movies
for free on TV. - Oh, yeah, yeah.
- You flip around and it-- - Absolutely.
- Did you hear a deep voice over there say, "Yes."
- Yeah, yes.
Insertion, too?
- Is that, you know what?
I didn't hear the parenthetical comment,
but as that where it went, but that's a nice treat.
- What?
Oh, naked, yes, absolutely. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- You know what I noticed, I was in a-- - What's that?
- You know where you go into the hotels
and you get your SpectraVision with the pornos on it?
- Sure, sure. - Yeah.
- The pornos in the SpectraVision are not hard,
they're pornos, but they cut out-- - Right.
- Like insertion shots.
They cut out, you know what I mean?
They cut out vaginas and penises. - The plop, that sort of thing.
- Right, yeah, yeah. - Right, right.
So they don't show that part, and I'm wondering, like,
who is offended by that?
Like, you know what I mean?
There's somebody whacking after a porno phone down.
What the hell's going on here?
This is unbelievable, it's offensive here.
I'm trying to whack up, and there's a insertion here, you know?
Right?
I don't know whatever you're talking about.
The only thing I've noticed about those movies, quite honestly,
billing is immediate.
- That's right. - Because you try,
and if you're like me, you're a film connoisseur,
you like to check out the different plots.
But if you just watch a couple of minutes,
just enough to see that it's going to be nurses,
or whatever it is, it shows up on your bill
that you watch, like, 15 of them.
If you, I mean, from what--
- I gotcha. - Yeah.
One time, I was watching one of those.
I was whacking-- - Yeah.
- So I'm whacking off watching it.
And all of a sudden, Bruce Baum is on it.
You know that comedian?
He's a comedian that's like a friend of mine, right?
So he shows up, like, 'cause he's the comic part of it.
Like, they're showing some sex.
All of a sudden, he comes in.
And right at the time, when I was, you know,
finishing up? - Yeah.
- So now I don't want to call up Bruce Baum anymore.
- When this airs, we're going to make sure we get a picture
of Bruce Baum, the Flash.
- He's a great man.
He's a funny man. - He's a great man.
But you need to see the visual to understand Norm's pain.
Thank you very much for coming by, as always,
the funniest man I know. - Yeah, this is the greatest.
Norm MacDonald.
Norm airs on Wednesday nights on ABC.
Norm MacDonald.
Welcome back to the program.
My guest tonight, a very funny comedian and actor is on Saturday
Night Live for many years.
His new show is Fox's "A Minute" with Stan Hooper.
Please welcome Norm MacDonald.
Norm!
Hello.
Hey, Johnny.
That clip didn't seem that entertaining.
That's not the whole show, is it?
That's the best part.
You picked that out, especially, Johnny.
I miss you, Johnny.
I miss you.
TV is better than my mind.
Stop it.
TV is better than my mind.
TV is better than your Academy Award.
Don't even talk about it.
Just wait a minute.
Hey, you want an Emmy?
We're going to be top-knock.
We're going to be top-knock.
By the way, you are the first guest to sit on our new couch.
Talk to me about, uh...
This is some couch, I'll tell you that, man.
What do you think?
I'd f*** it.
I'd f*** it.
I'd f*** it.
You're going to be top-knock.
Uh, by the way, you are the first guest to sit on our new couch.
Talk to me about, uh...
This is some couch, I'll tell you that, man.
What do you think?
I'd f*** it.
You're going to be top-knock.
Uh, by the way, you are the first guest to sit on our new couch.
Talk to me about, uh...
This is some couch, I'll tell you that, man.
What do you think?
I'd f*** it.
That's the highest compliment you can pay a couch.
It is a high compliment, it's just we have a minivan of nuns that is, uh...
Have you, uh, uh, ever felt a couch that you felt that way before, before this
couch?
Uh, no, this is the first one, man.
I'm a normal fella, you know?
Uh-huh.
Do you think it's the ultra-suede?
Uh, maybe, it may be the, uh...
It has a, uh, a luring come-hither look.
It has a bit of a nice slant to it, I believe.
It's a g***d damn whore.
Let's do that.
No, it's a nice couch, it's a nice couch, I don't mean to disparage the couch.
TV is better when Norm MacDonald is on it.
That is my, that is my postulation, that is my theory, that is my, uh...
The whole interview will be applause breaks back and forth.
And you know what?
America is a great country.
America is the best country in the world.
But, you know, I'm from Canada.
Where?
Canada.
Show me where that is.
Where?
I've heard tale of it.
Uh, but you've been living here for years.
Yeah, and America is, uh, the greatest country in the world, and Canada, 35.
You can't say that.
You have to go, do you have family there?
You'll, they'll see you at...
My family's fine.
Boxing Day, or whatever, do they have holidays?
They do have Boxing Day.
How do you know about that?
They should explain it.
They're going to think that that has something to do with the pugilism, but it
is actually
not.
Boxing Day has nothing to do with pugilism.
It's a day in Canada where all the small children...
What's pugilism mean?
That'd be the, uh, the, the, the, the, the, the art of the sweet science.
Oh, boxing, yeah.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
You're right.
Sweet science.
You're right.
Sweet science.
Boxing Day is nothing to do with pugilism.
It's a day in Canada where all the small children...
What's pugilism mean?
That'd be the, uh, the, the, the, the art of the sweet science, as it were.
Oh, boxing, yeah.
I'm sorry.
Sweet science.
Boxing Day in Canada is all the children are put in boxes.
That's right.
And set out on Lake Huron.
Yes, that's right.
And whoever doesn't sink...
Is not a witch.
Is not a witch.
And is the next prime minister.
I think.
That's right.
I think that is correct.
Yeah.
But now you live in Los Angeles.
The parliamentary system.
Yes, I do.
The lap of...
Fire.
Oh, yeah.
That's, are you anywhere near, is that anywhere, uh...
No, that's the, that's the one bright spot in the whole thing is that I'm in no
danger
at all.
You know, they haven't covered that on the news as much as, uh...
They haven't?
Not a lot of Norm Macdonald updates.
I saw, this is an interesting thing I saw.
You know they have that little scroll, they can understand that.
I'm watching it the other day, Baghdad's getting bombed, right?
Right.
And underneath on the scroll it says, "Daniel Kellison to leave the Jimmy Kimmel
show."
Is that backwards?
You think they should have been covering that in the regular news and the
little crawl should
have been Baghdad is bombed?
Yeah, that's exactly.
Yeah.
Well, since that, that crawl, remember, just started September 11th.
Right.
They never had that crawl before.
They didn't have the crawl before that, no.
And now the crawl is caught because at that time there was so much information,
you know?
You'd be watching that thing and then all of a sudden it'd say, "Watch out, it's
Bob Duck!"
And you go, "Ah!"
It was immediate.
Right, it was immediate.
Yeah.
Because there was so much information flowing and now they just kept the crawl
and there's
nothing to put on there.
So you'll see things like, uh, you know, uh, uh, uh, singer James Taylor set to
red and you're like, "I don't know."
The favorite one that I've ever seen so far is, uh, it said it was another of
those situations.
They were announcing that Uday and Kusei had been killed in that giant raid.
Okay.
And underneath it it said, uh, Beyonce says she doesn't like the word bootylicious.
And it was just such a great, but it's that same damn thing.
I want you to put a ticker on your show.
Will you put a ticker on the Stan Hooper show?
And I, I've never been on that scroll and yet for years I've said I don't like
that word
bootylicious.
But that doesn't make the news.
But CNN is not covering Norm Macdonald to the extent people want.
I know, it's ridiculous.
It is ridiculous.
Uh, how you like in doing the, the program?
Is it, is it enjoyable for you?
Is it, is it fun to work?
Do you prefer to gamble?
Well, you have to bring that up.
Are you having fun doing it?
No, I love, uh, I love working, you know.
I took, uh, I retired from show business, you know.
Yes.
And, uh, nobody noticed.
I noticed.
So I realized that I had to get back into it so that I could become a big star,
then retire
from show business.
Thank you.
And then, then there would be a big star.
That's how Celine Dion does it.
That's right.
Then you go to Vegas and you open up your own Norm Macdonald theater.
That's right.
And you marry an old dude that blows all your money.
That's my dream.
and then there would be a big sense of saline dion does it
that's right
then you go to vegas and you open up your own mcdonald theater that's right and
you marry an old dude that blows all your money
that's my dream
a fine dream it is certainly a minute we stay on uber airs wednesday night at 8:30
on fox it's norma mcdonald back on tv where we belong!
so you can see the next video on the show!
you can see the next video on the show!
you can see the next video on the show!
you can see the next video on the show!
you can see the next video on the show!
my guest tonight one of my very favorite comedians his new sketch comedy cd is
called norm mcdonald
please welcome back to the program norm mcdonald
norm mcdonald
oh for god's sake
what is that
you feel the love?
what a crowd what a crowd!
what? that's love!
yeah that's right i wasn't saying it with any irony
no it's a good crowd
the cd is ridiculous and and this is a long rumored project
yeah it took me a long time to do it because it takes me a long time to do
anything
i want to d