Name: You Don't Have to be Dirty
Uploaded: 2021-04-11T20:00:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'You Don't Have to be Dirty' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-11. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'You Don't Have to be Dirty' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-11. Transcript available.

Charles Fleischer used to always close the improv, he'd always close and he'd
do an hour.
I'm not sure, I think that guy's out of his goddamn mind.
A confidence man sold him an apartment, rented him an apartment.
A confidence man?
Yeah, like a paper moon, you know, like that kind of a guy.
Yeah, I got paper mooned.
He got paper mooned.
I think it was by one of the guys that used to give you shit in your karate
class, this big fucking Russian guy.
Oh, it was a Russian guy.
Not at all.
We've torn down the wall, Mr. Gorbachev, long time.
My family comes from Russia, they're Russian Jews.
Oh, Russian at Jews is more like it.
I'm a fan of The View because Sherry Shepard is a good friend of mine.
Sure.
And I've been on The View a lot, which is weird.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because I'm on The View. Daphne Aguilera was on The View.
Oh, really?
To Daphne Aguilera, he didn't rub your cock on my...
Okay, come on, this is what we're trying to get away from.
I'm sorry.
She came over and she said, "It's so lonely here, you know.
There's been no men."
And she caressed his arm.
One thing became the inevitable.
They had sex?
Yeah, so we don't have to be coarse about it, but yes.
You didn't fuck a leper.
So he fucked a leper?
Let's not be coarse.
Good God, man.
That's not how you tell a joke.
That's supposed to go...
That's supposed to happen through your mind.
That's supposed to...
You're telling me that you've taken five hours of entertainment and somehow
condensed it into a couple of minutes.
Yeah.
It was fantastic all the way through, but I just thought...
Well, that's yeoman's work.
Well, look, I went in and I took what I thought were the best moments of the...
Follow-up question?
What's a yeoman?
Not a clue.
Russell Brandl, no.
I'll bet you're goddamn right he will.
Okay, no need to curse.
Alright, apologies.
But please...
If they put my name in a fuckin' publication like Entertainment Weekly...
You don't have to swear.
I don't think you're gonna...
I think.
You know, I may have told you this, but my doctor's getting very rude.
The last time I went to him, he said, "Open your mouth and say oink."
I think we've come to the...
You need to find a new doctor.
I need to find a new...
This guy sounds like a real asshole.
New internist.
Why do you continue to swear?
I don't know.
Just because you can doesn't mean you should.
I trim with that.
You know taking the Lord's name in vain is one of the commandments
that will get you raped by the devil for all of time.
Agree to disagree.
Here's the deal.
You agree to disagree.
Agree to disagree.
You know what I don't like is when you make those dirty drinks.
Dirty Sanchez?
Dirty Sanchez.
That's what you drink.
What dirty drinks?
No, they say like...
Pink Pussy.
Huh?
Like the Pink Pussy.
You don't have to be dirty, but...
The guy...
I don't realize there's a TV camera aimed at it.
You guys, this is like your little brother.
Goddamn, man.
You have such control...
Goddamn, man.
You have such control...
Goddamn, man.
You have such control...
Goddamn, man.
You have such control...
Goddamn, man.
You have such control...
Goddamn, man.
You have such control...
Goddamn, man.
You have such control...
Goddamn, man.
You have such control...
Goddamn, man.
You have such control...
Goddamn, man.
Goddamn, man.