Name: The Time Robert Blake Didn't Show Up on the Podcast
Uploaded: 2021-04-22T23:48:26.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Time Robert Blake Didn't Show Up on the Podcast' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-22. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Time Robert Blake Didn't Show Up on the Podcast' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-22. Transcript available.

The Time Robert Blake Didn't Show Up on the Podcast

good evening welcome to norm mcdonald live our third podcast and i could not be
more excited
about this podcast until about 10 minutes ago because our guest was going to be
the great
robert blake yeah and uh i love robert blake and i always have since i was a
little kid
because i watch beretta which was my favorite show and that's probably before
your time
definitely my trusty sidekick adam egott and uh you didn't know robert blake
probably no no but in
the 70s they had they had these shows that were detective shows right and but
most of them were
kind of corny like they had canon frank cannon who was played by william conrad
and as a matter of
fact now that i think of it most of the deceptives back then had some something
wrong with them what
was wrong with uh canon huge obese man he was a fat man and he chased down the
criminals and then he
would karate chop them on the neck that's how he ended up getting them he knew
how to karate and in the
end it would be him eating like a big uh dish of pasta with some lady anyways
and long street was blind
jesus he was a detective was blind and he he relied on his dog a lot and a lot
of times he'd go there's
a clue underneath this girl's you know skirt the dog knew where long street
wanted to go and they had
luck solving the cases but i'm saying it was very they were very corny kind of
sick of uh but then
beretta it was like well it was like martin scorsese had made uh oh that's a
detective he was a tortured
guy you know how now all the superheroes are are conflicted oh yeah yeah i don't
like that but i like
this guy he was conflicted you know and anyways and it had the greatest theme
song so i said let's get
robert blake yeah it would have been a great guess he's he's engaging how
exciting that gonna be
and uh he we got him on i never i got him on the phone only for five seconds
what happened daniel
kellison apparently was on the phone for an hour how did that go i don't think
it went well probably
not but uh i got his book one of the things was you've got to read my book so
anyways he's not
coming yeah and i read his entire book oh that's and it was great it was one of
the best like book
celebrity memoirs i've ever read good you should plug it anyway you like yeah
it's called tales of a
rascal because he was on the little rascals of course right but i think there's
like an eye it's
drenched in irony as well sure tales of a rascal robert blake what i did for
love so it covers
everything it covers everything he did pulls no punches he one of my favorite
roles of all time was him
and uh david lynch's uh lost highway just riveting i never saw that amazing and
i like david lynch likes
me that's that's bizarre even for lynch that's amazing though that's really
cool what we should
get him on the show david lynch that'd be great we could put him on the old
list oh the list
we have a list we have a list of guests we're trying to get and uh we don't
have a list well i
always carry it around with me you never know when you're gonna need the list
is that the list this is
the list i always carried around me this is the list yeah this is guests we're
trying to get for the show
yeah it's a long list yeah it's really long and they run the gamut
from al franken i mean he's a what is he a senator yeah he's a senator oh yeah
he's somewhat attainable
you know allison brie don't know her oh come on something you're never supposed
to say on a tv show
that you've never heard of someone on the list what's wrong with you andy dick
i think he'd be
good he'd be great arsenio hall and then after that it says if needed yeah i
never understood
there's about five people with parentheses that says if needed but they're just
at random makes no
sense yeah who else on the list norm bill murray we can take him off the list
no there's a lot of people
any other anne murray oh anne murray i mean i know you know who put anne murray
on the list daniel
do you even know anne murray i mean i've heard the name i know she was a singer
or someone tell me
about anne murray she's just an old lady she's like 75 i think she lives in
prince edward island or
something is that close by or no it's about it's about as far as could be i don't
think there's any two
points of the north american continent farther than los angeles and uh well i
mean spring hill
well i mean she's probably available what do you think she's up oh she's
available
what's she up to she's walking down the street going i'm anne murray
so not a good chance of getting her to fly down there but anyways god this is a
huge list
oh you know what else there's news in our little life that we're going to do
that masters uh
oh right right explain to the folks what it is because i did it one time before
well basically it's people explain to the folks at home what you guys can do is
tune in to the masters
uh on uh on television there and you can turn down the volume and listen to
norm and uh and some friends
uh partially commentate the the the golf and uh also talk about it so tune in
to the masters i believe
that's this weekend am i robert blake when he met steve mcqueen is one of the
coolest stories
i've ever read when i read this book because i'm trying to write a book they
want me to write a book
anyways you can tell this guy wrote this and you can also tell he should have
been a writer
and he should have been a poet but anyway he's not here he's not here but uh
you know who is here
fred stoller
see what's good about this is he's got stories about steve mcqueen he's got
stories about mickey
rooney ava gardner yeah one of my favorites of all time uh robert mitchum robert
mitchum he's got
stories uh fred stoller also has stories but nearly half of them are about dom
irera
well it says right on the front here fred stoller is always funny chris rock
fred stoller is always funny well we'll put that to the test
tonight now thank god for fred stoller no seriously oh he's a he's a hilarious
he's a hilarious guy and he's got a fascinating story but also fred stoller was
telling me he wants
to be on podcast yes and he actively tries to get on podcast yes he does and is
rejected
except by us yeah we used to be the guys getting rejected yeah but anyways he's
gonna be uh he's
gonna be great oh also this is supposed to be this is i think exciting you ever
hear you know there's
a big late night shake up yeah what do you know what do you know i know that
how would you like
encapsulate that you know without talking too much and make it for someone who
doesn't know anything
about this late night shake up well i believe what's happening you mean these
specifics yeah
that uh fallon is taking over leno jimmy fallon jimmy fallon is taking over leno
spot and then leno is
moving over to fox no no he's not moving to fox that's speculative okay so he
may or may not be
moving to fox he's moving somewhere and he's retiring oh is that what he's
doing i thought you could
encapsulate it for the folks at home i'll try again and i'll just correct okay
so i believe jimmy
fallon is moving to jay leno's yes jimmy fallon will be the host of the tonight
show got it and uh
is anything happening with jay leno is retiring jay leno's retiring which will
leave a spot at 12 30
on nbc okay jimmy kimmel has the 11 30 spot on abc i don't know what follows
him
oh nightline perhaps they've maybe they've slip flip-flop right uh conan o'brien
is over on the
dumont network or some thing and uh who else is there chelsea handler beats
at the mall and no one seems to care and uh is there anybody else but anyways i
the point is
who oh and david letterman and ferguson and craig ferguson right and uh so david
letterman is 65
where you used to have to retire i think you know you know walter krankei had
to retire at 65
isn't that amazing i didn't know that you didn't know that no you didn't know
that i don't know much
yeah at 65 he had to retire because at that time of the because that was years
ago you know leno's
younger than letterman he is 62 and letterman is 65. wow but the problem is if
a letterman retires
cbs doesn't know what to do because they have to put a scotchman in there a scottish
guy ferguson
craig ferguson and they're afraid that people you know at 11 30 older people
might not want to listen
to a scottish brogue and also his sidekick is a skeleton it is yeah you've
never seen the
show i've never seen the show well it's fascinating because he's he just talks
like he i don't know if
he uses writers but he's a fantastic off the you've never seen anything like
craig ferguson i i love him
it's just a scotsman talking to a skeleton well the skeleton is yes his his
sidekick is a corpse
which apparently les moonves cbs has some problems with he's saying why not
spend the extra money
and get a corporal corporeal purse you know what i mean sure you save money you
know grave robbing
every night because apparently craig ferguson has to change because the stench
becomes unbearable in
the studio after a few days i would imagine cut to craig ferguson out at the
local uh cemetery with a
shovel you think it's old-fashioned grave robbing but anyways my point is this
entertain i don't know
what to watch anymore well with all the shuffling so i look at entertainment
weekly because every week
this publication this periodical right through an authority on the subject
entertainment we'll tell you
what to watch so they'll tell you what to watch so anyways i'm perusing it okay
so this is what i found
out about the word peruse you think it means scan that's what it actually means
reading very carefully
so the next time you're talking to one of your uh intelligent hollywood friends
and they say peruse
you know what the are you talking about peruse means means to study carefully
so you studied this
carefully yes and what they have is they have the must list the top 10 things
we live we love this week
things you must see okay and anyways look at this number six oh here it is it's
it's our show it's
our program isn't that bizarre fuck that shouldn't be in their fucking thing my
name should not be in
any publication no that definitely did you think that like three weeks ago when
we started no you were
just a filthy bum yeah and now these retards put your name in a magazine it
says the saturday night
live alum i don't know what that a love what does that mean he used to be on
saturday live yeah
he's using his deadpan charm and irreverence
to full effect on his riotous new video podcast where he and co-host adam egott
that's you shocking
we'll welcome guests like russell brand bop maybe i think my theory is this
went to press before they
found out about fred stoller i think it's it's a it's a good possibility russell
brand he is coming
the great russell brand who i asked for for the first day love russell because
i find him amazing yeah
and uh bob saget old friend and the great seth rogan so yeah we're number six
that's amazing that's
fantastic isn't that funny yeah what does this have to do with late night well
well we have a show we're
talking to each other and and i was looking at that well maybe you must see
first of all you know i don't
want you must see it really really entertainment weekly you don't want anybody
telling me what to do
anybody fucking tell me what i must see you know what i mean i don't see that
video i was going to show you
where the girl shoves her foot up that dude's asshole i i can't get that vision
on my mind i remember it
yeah yeah every yeah but anyways first you're happy this is this is the nature
of being a human being
right right you're like we're number six and a must see list but since my point
was since none of the
other late night shake-ups i'm starting to think that they want us to move over
to one of those spots to the
late night spots yes think about it think about it what would it cost them zero
yeah well there's zero
money put in we make zero yeah so why would they pay six seven million dollars
for horatio sands i don't
know who's is he up for it i have 