Name: Norm Macdonald on The Wolfman and Ghosts
Uploaded: 2021-04-29T01:18:55.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on The Wolfman and Ghosts' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on The Wolfman and Ghosts' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-04-29. Transcript available.

No, but listen, man, I'm not afraid of no monsters, you know.
You know, we spend, when you think about it, man,
we spend most of our adult life petrified of monsters, you know.
And I'm just coming to the, I'm saying enough, man, you know.
I'm not going to live under the tyranny of these monsters that walk among us,
you know.
If they get me, they get me.
And some of them, I'm not even, I don't even know what's so scary about them.
Like, now they got a movie I've seen, Wolfman, you know, which is very scary,
right?
A wolfman, you know, they got a movie, and it's like a werewolf.
I think it's exactly the same. I'm not sure.
I haven't studied it close enough.
But I believe, like, if a wolfman came at you and stuff,
you went, ah, a werewolf, people wouldn't go, ah, it's a wolfman, you idiot.
But my point is this, I am not afraid of a wolfman or a werewolf,
because when you think about what they are, they're half man and half wolf.
So therefore, I am only half afraid of them as I am of a wolf.
And there's no movie called The Wolf.
See, if you've got a wolfman, half the time he's a man.
You can reason with him, you know.
You can sit down, have a cheese sandwich.
But a wolfman, you can't reason with a wolf.
A wolf only wants to eat you.
So I'm not afraid of a werewolf.
I'm not afraid of ghosts.
They don't scare me, you know.
Not at all.
I mean, I don't want to say I'm invulnerable to fear,
but they simply don't frighten me, you know.
First of all, what do they do, you know?
They just go, ah.
Which, that's not that scary to me, you know.
And then they're invisible.
They're like, ah.
And then you're like, what?
You're invisible.
You can put your hand through them.
That kind of a person never frightens me.
You know the kind of guys that frighten me?
You ever meet those guys where you can't put your hand through them?
I don't care for those fellas.
But when I can put my hand through them,
it doesn't scare me in the least.
Ah.
This is how unscary they are.
I was at a hotel a couple weeks ago.
In the lobby, they were bragging about there was a ghost in the hotel, you know.
How scary can that be?
You know what I mean?
They're like, ah.
Every night, Mary with the blue dress.
That was her nickname.
She was murdered and she hangs around the bed, you know what I mean?
And she'll come over and say, beware, oh, because Mary with the blue dress.
Which was her nickname.
Which was an odd nickname because you'd think her nickname would be Mary the
Ghost.
When they came time to pick out her nickname, you know, I think they were like,
oh, hey, what do you notice about Mary that makes her distinctive?
We've got to come up with a nickname for her.
You know, I know she wears a lot of blue dresses.
I know she wears a lot of blue dresses.
I know she wears a lot of blue dresses.
She seems to have an affinity toward blue dresses.
You're talking about Mary, right?
You're talking about Mary, right?
The transparent lady.
So I would call her Mary the Ghost.
And all they seem to do is complain, these ghosts.
Do you remember what I'm saying?
And I was like, oh, I can't.
Everything's wrong.
They're never happy or nothing, you know?
Like, I have to, something bad happened to me.
And if I don't get it cleared up, I have to travel all through the world in
pain and sorrow, you know?
And then I'm like, well, I do too.
What the hell?
At least you get to walk through walls and stuff.
You get to do cool stuff.
Oh, I think I'll have some more water.
I love water.
So, I'll see you next time.