Name: We Objectify Women, Don't We?
Uploaded: 2021-05-05T00:01:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Objectify Women, Don't We?' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-05-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'We Objectify Women, Don't We?' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-05-05. Transcript available.

But, you know, look, I know it's wrong to objectify women, you know what I'm
saying?
Of course.
But, in our sexual fantasies, I think we do, as men, objectify women, don't we?
Like, I always think of Adele, like, down on her hands and knees with an apple
in her mouth.
So, but, but, that's better?
Better than what?
That's, that's objectifying her.
Yes, I'm saying I think we do that as men.
Okay.
We objectify women, don't we?
Yeah.
Don't we?
This Lindsay Lohan can't swim a stroke, but she sure knows every dive in town.
That one I liked.
That was my favorite.
I'm keeping this.
That is a favorite?
Did you write this?
I didn't write that one.
Read that one.
The guy who did the voice of Charlie Brown, he was arrested for stalking his
girlfriend this week.
He also said the next time Lucy grabs away the football, he's going to cut that
bitch.
He's going to cut that bitch.
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You know, I'm happy to help out a friend, but the next time my roommate asks
for help,
put in sunscreen, he better be talking about his back.
Fool me once.
The Statue of Liberty is setting a bad example for young women.
When times get tough, you just can't stand motionless for centuries holding a
torch.
That's true.
I don't want to shoot myself in the foot, but my left big toe is a neo-Nazi.
Even worse, my big right toe believes that there should be a gender pay gap.
Gender pay gap.
The twins' Joe Maurer has gone on the disabled list due to leg weakness.
What is the cause of leg weakness?
For the answer, let us go to sports show medical correspondent, the late Burgess
Meredith.
Women weaken legs.
Just as I suspected.
Thank you, late Burgess Meredith.
The sister of San Francisco Giant catcher Buster Posey, Samantha, hit for a
home run cycle, which consists of a solo, a two-run, a three-run homer, and a
grand slam home run.
This leads some to say that she might be better than her brother.
Her brother, who doesn't get to hit against girls tossing a giant ball underhand.
Former Philadelphia Philly and suspected embezzler, Lenny Dykstra hired a
cleaning lady via Craigslist.
But when the woman arrived at his home, Dykstra allegedly stripped naked and
demanded that she give him a massage.
I've got one thing to say to Lenny Dykstra.
Hey, quit stealing my moves.
Washington Redskins lineman Albert Hainsworth was arrested on sexual abuse
charges this past week after being accused of sliding a credit card through a
woman's cleavage.
Is it just me, or is everyone stealing my moves?
Well, a Boston Red Sox sideline reporter recently did a story on food at ballparks.
One thing she tried was a chicken and waffle sandwich, which she nearly choked
on.
Now, there is a video of this piece, but my staff has not had any luck finding
it.
So that means it is time to turn to the sports show computer.
All right, excellent.
I'm just going to go ahead and I'm going to start out by searching a woman gagging.
Oh, one million results.
How about that?
Okay, let's see.
Oh, well, my Lord.
Oh, that's not what I was looking for.
This is filthy.
Okay, I can see I'm going to have to be a little more specific.
Let me try woman gagging on meat.
What?
Oh, there's seven million results here.
Whoa, holy Lord.
There's all kinds of pictures coming up.
None of these are right.
Oh, people should not be doing this.
What?
How do I turn this thing off?
Delete history.
Delete history.
Wait, they're offering me a 3% mortgage.
Okay, I deleted it.
So that's off my computer forever?
Empty the couch set.
Empty the what?
Here are the cookies.
Oh!
I feel filthy just touching my dirty computer.
The number one book is The Rules.
You know about this book?
I've heard stuff about it.
Tell us about it.
It's The Rules.
It says it's how to capture a man's heart.
And it's for women.
And it says all these rules they have to follow and you will capture a man's
heart.
And the rule number one, have huge breasts.
What do you think is attractive?
I like Anna Nicole Smith.
Oh, stop it.
You don't like her?
Come on.
You don't like Anna Nicole Smith?
Come on.
You don't like Anna Nicole Smith?
Come on.
She's gotten heavy.
He's put me on.
No, I'm not.
No, I saw a picture of her recently where she was really, really fat, where she
didn't
look good.
Right.
But you're talking about years ago when she was thin.
Oh, okay.
Not that long ago.
Yeah, a couple years ago.
So you like big breasts?
Yeah, I like big breasts a lot.
Does your wife have big breasts?
She has normal size breasts.
What?
Sea Cups?
I don't know.
I hear you talking about those.
I don't follow those.
You're in bad shape.
Do you like Sally Struthers, too?
I did, yeah.
You did, right, yeah.
Such your type.
Oh, my God.
I love Sally Struthers.
Not anymore, though.
What?
You don't like her anymore.
No, no.
I don't like her with the flies around her.
He's kind of a turn off.
Newlyweds Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson had their first argument this week.
He wants kids while she wants fake kids.
This week, Rampage Jackson talked to a reporter before UFC 130.
Black girls love me, too, man.
I get hit on by black girls all the time.
I'll be showing my nipple.
I'll be doing my nipple dance.
Black girls love me, man.
Wait, what?
You do your nipple dance?
Yes.
I wonder what other techniques Rampage uses to woo the fairer sex.
Are you black?
Part, yeah.
I love all parts of you.
Even a black part.
What other part of you?
I'm Jamaican black and white.
She's Jamaican me hornet.
Wait.
Wait, what?
That line never works for me.
I guess it worked for him.
I don't know.
She's hot, ain't she?
That's why I gave her the interview.
She's hot.
Thank you, Rampage.
I want a motorboat right here.
I want a motorboat right here.
I want a motorboat right here.
I want a motorboat right here.
Wait, what?
That seems impossible.
What?
I don't know what to say about this.
What do you think, Sad Bill Cosby?
You don't care for that at all, Sad Bill Cosby?
No.
Atlanta Braves pitching coach Roger McDowell is accused of simulating sex with
a baseball
bat in front of children at a Braves Giants game.
The parents of the children hired attorney Gloria Allred, who held this press
conference.
We'll also be doing a little demonstration of exactly what the coach did.
Wait, what?
What?
What?
Wait.
A demonstration?
That's not a good idea.
Aren't those the same girls?
I'm no psychiatrist, but I have a feeling that this will remind these little
girls of two
days ago when that guy did it.
Don't make them watch it again, Gloria Allred, please.
I'm panicking for nothing.
She's a lawyer.
Of course, she knows what she's doing.
She'll figure it out.
I think Justin and I can demonstrate what was done with the baseball bat.
Okay, so Justin, you want to come forward here?
I want you to put your fingers out the way he had them.
Okay, so then it was like that.
He's going like that.
Is that right?
Okay.
Wait, what?
Wait, wait, wait.
How long does she keep bat-sexing that guy's hand?
Wait, wait.
Wait, what?
No.
Is this for the people who missed it the first time?
No.
Please.
Look, I didn't go to law school, but I don't believe lawyers do this.
Don't we have something with Gloria just talking?
The coach then allegedly said, "Are you three giving it to each other up the..."
And he used the crude word for "rear end."
Wait, what?
Rear end?
Now Gloria's getting all demure.
Rear end.
Not like earlier when she was--
No, don't show it again!
All right, enough.
No more.
No more.
That's over with.
If I've learned one thing this week, it's to be a lot more careful who I bat my
hand in front of.
Senator Bob Packwood said this week he favors reduced federal deficit over a
tax cut.
Then he added that in case anyone was curious, he prefers nice legs over large
breasts.
The much-talked-about film Showgirls opened this week, and here's my review.
Basically a high-budget porno film, Showgirls is a thinly veiled excuse to show
lots of naked buttocks, legs, and breasts.
On a scale of one to ten, I give it a ten.
Well, Premier Magazine's list of the 100 most powerful people in Hollywood hit
the newsstands this month.
In an odd bit of ranking, Demi Moore was ranked number 28, while her breasts
were ranked 20 and 21.
In an interview out this week, Demi Moore says she would like to have another
baby, this time a boy, to go along with her three daughters and two huge
breasts.
Demi Moore is wrapped filming on G.I. Jane, in which she plays a Navy SEAL
combat officer.
Moore says that in contrast to other Hollywood portrayals of women in the
military, her character will have giant breasts.
The actor Bruce Willis is filming his next movie, The Broadway Brawler, in Wilmington,
Delaware.
Meanwhile, his wife Demi Moore is taking a break from movie work, saying she
wants to spend more time with her huge breasts.