Name: Norm Macdonald Shitting on Dennis Rodman
Uploaded: 2021-05-26T15:51:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Shitting on Dennis Rodman' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-05-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Shitting on Dennis Rodman' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-05-26. Transcript available.

My choice for vice president is a proven winner, a leading defender of the
African-American community.
His rise from humble beginnings is the American dream personified.
He's an outspoken man, a thoughtful man, and he's a leading rebounder in the
NBA.
His name's Dennis Rodman. Dennis, come on out here, Dennis.
Jim Mikliszewski from NBC News. I'm not a sports reporter, but to my knowledge,
Mr. Rodman has never evinced any political desires whatsoever.
Why have you asked him to join the Republican ticket?
You know, I'm running for vice president.
And, uh, if you don't like it, well, you can just kiss my ass.
Right, Bob?
Yeah, that's right. Kiss it.
Yeah.
You know, I'm running for vice president.
And, uh, if you don't like it, well, you can just kiss my ass.
Right, Bob?
Yeah, that's right. Kiss it.
Yeah.
In his controversial new book, Bad As I Want To Be,
Chicago Bulls forward Dennis Rodman says that the NBA is, quote, 50% sex.
Jeez, man, I gotta stop leavin' at halftime.
And my good friend Dennis Rodman.
You're not wearing any clothes. You're completely naked.
Yeah. What's your point, Norm?
Well, it's customary for guests on Weekend Update, you know, to wear, uh,
clothes.
Well, because I'm nude, does it bother you?
Well, that's not the issue here, you know.
Does my nudity frighten you?
No, it doesn't frighten me, but, uh...
If you plan to be here next fall doing book reviews, I expect to see a major
attitude adjustment.
You know, and while you're at it, a more conventional hairstyle, and some
clothes, for God's sakes.
You're gonna have to learn that there is such a thing as rules, Dennis Rodman.
Rules, do you understand that?
Sure. I understand.
Well, good.
That's the way it is.
Good night, and have a good weekend.
You were talking about, uh, going to the hospital in the last segment.
I understand you actually had to visit yourself.
Yeah, I went, uh, I, uh, what happened was on the show, on the Saturday Night
Live show.
Yeah, that show, yeah, I know that show.
I was on that, and, uh, Dennis Rodman was a guest.
Dennis Rodman, right.
And, uh, so, we thought it'd be funny if he head-butted me, you know?
So, he head-butted me, but he, he did it really hard, you know?
Do we have a, uh, I think, actually, we, someone supplied the clip.
This is, you're not...
Yeah, that really...
You hear that, you hear that dull thud of, like, skull on skull.
Yeah, yeah, and my, I don't have, like, a strong head.
Uh-oh.
I haven't been working it out later.
Really?
But, uh, he has, like, an athlete's head, you know?
But, uh, no, beforehand, he said, like, I said, hey, don't hit me with your
head, or, you know, don't really hit me.
And he goes, no, no, Ollie.
He goes, he had this thing where he was going to put his thumbs, and as soon as
he touched my thumbs, I go back.
And then he got all excited and head-butted me.
So, like...
So, did you feel him, like, pull the thumbs back, and then real head was coming
at you?
And so I, like, blacked out for, like, a minute, and then the next day, I had
this huge headache, so I thought I was going to die, you know?
And, uh, so I went to the hospital, I went to, I don't want to say the hospital,
but I went to this hospital, and, um, to emergency, you know?
And, uh, they're all, like, uh, they're the craziest guys in emergency, it's
all, like, crap.
Everybody's on crack, you know?
Every emergency is a guy on crack.
Yeah.
So I went in, and they go, uh, they go, like, hey, uh, how much crack did you
have, you know?
And I go, I'm not on crack.
And they go, what happened?
I go, Dennis Rodman head-butted me.
On the TV.
He head-butted me on the TV.
So they go, yeah, yeah.
How much crack, uh-huh.
So what happened?
Were you, were they, anything wrong?
I don't know, man.
They said, like, uh, you can't tell.
They said, like, uh, the only way you can tell is if later on, if you go to
sleep and you don't wake up, you...
That's why you didn't mention the name of the hospital, yeah?
Yeah, I don't want to mention it.
I, I, I, I didn't know this, too.
If you, yeah, you, if you go to emergency, you gotta pay.
They keep sending me bills, like, all kinds of bills.
You thought it was free, that you could just go there and...
Yeah, yeah, I'm from Canada, it's all free there.
Oh, okay.
What about last night?
Dennis Rodman, uh, got a narrow...
Do you watch Celebrity Apprentice anymore?
Yeah, uh, yeah.
I haven't watched, uh, much this season, but I know, he, did he go back to
North Korea?
Zero power.
Did he bring LaToya Jackson over to North Korea?
It is weird that he's both on the Celebrity Apprentice...
Yeah.
...and dealing with nuclear genocide.
Yeah.
Negotiating world peace and harmony.
And trying to, it, it's funny how it all, really, the rhetoric and the, and the,
the vitriol out of North Korea all started immediately after Dennis Rodman's
visit, too.
I guess you're right.
He went over there to patch everything up, and the next day it's like, America
is a boiled pumpkin waiting to be exploded.
So, if anybody could, could, uh, solve the, the crisis in the world, crisis in
the world, I think Rodman could.
He was a fun guy.
Don't you find it funny with the news, Tom, that all of a sudden you read on
the front of Yahoo, North Korea is starting a war with us.
Yeah.
It's out of nowhere.
They're instigating it.
Yeah.
They're actually saying, uh...
And then you just hit another button.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're, they're, they're starting.
They're just going to start it.
Is that what's going to happen, really?
They're, they're saying they're going to start it.
Are they going to get us?
They're, they're, they're, they're going to start it.