Name: Type of Rapists
Uploaded: 2021-06-02T20:44:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Type of Rapists' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Type of Rapists' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-02. Transcript available.

Sometimes you'd see guys, like I knew this guy, I don't know if you've ever met
a guy who's like, you don't even understand it, but he just gets women all the
time and it's like very mysterious.
Like I know this one guy, literally got a different woman every night. I'm not
even exaggerating. I asked him what his secret was. He said he was a serial rapist.
So for him, it was just perfect.
Who's Michelle Greffy?
Yeah, you got a bad review in the paper, right? Michelle Greffy. She hates you.
Yeah.
What'd she say?
The New York Times loves me, but Michelle Greffy hates me.
What's something Michelle said?
She says, all the charm of a date rapist.
But a date rapist has to have charm, right?
That's true. A date rapist has to have a lot of charm, right?
I would imagine so.
Real rapists don't, but date rapists...
They have to have enough charm to get you out of date.
They got to get you out of date, exactly.
They took your butt off.
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A guy was just telling me...
Listen, Bill Cosby, first of all...
He's my hero ever since I was a kid.
Because I always wanted to be like him.
And I got his albums, tried to emulate them.
But I didn't like his stand-up.
But I like...
The way he was as a man.
Because this was before...
They didn't say he was a rapist on the fucking...
Liner notes of the albums, you know.
That's what my buddy says.
The worst part about Cosby was he was a hypocrite.
And I said, I don't think that was the worst part.
To me, the worst part was the raping.
Way up high.
And then the second would be the drugging.
And then the third would be the...
The scheming.
But anyways, hypocrisy would be way fucking down the line.
You know, like on the fourth page or some shit.
Like, I'm no expert.
But I think probably most rapists are hypocrites.
You know what I mean?
You know what I mean?
A lot of guys go, I like to rape.
I don't give a fuck.
I know it's not a politically correct thing to say.
But I like raping.
God damn, at least he's not a hypocrite.
That's the worst...
That's the worst part of it.
Imagine if you're a girl.
Some of you will be easier.
No, imagine you're a girl.
You're in a gift shop in Vegas or some shit.
You go, I'm going to buy this snow globe for my...
Oh, it's the most famous guy ever.
Cosby.
You know, Cosby's there.
And he's like, you want to go to my room?
It's the biggest room ever.
So you go, yeah, of course I want to go to your room.
Biggest star ever.
Biggest room ever.
What the fuck?
You don't have to be a girl.
You don't fucking go.
And then you go up and then you're like, fuck, look at this.
I've never seen...
And he's like, you want a glass of water?
You go, yes, that would be nice.
And then you go, why is it purple?
Why is it fizzing?
Like in a monster movie, just drink it.
It's famous people's water.
And then you drink it.
And then everybody goes fucking crazy and shit.
They come out of it.
They're like, what the fuck?
I was just in the gift shop.
What's that?
Cosby cock?
I can swear that's a Cosby cock.
That's impossible.
A Cosby cock?
Why would there be a Cosby cock in my face?
Wait a second.
I remember.
I'll call for help.
Hypocrisy!
A man committed hypocrisy on me
in room 10304204.
There's too many numbers in the hotel room.
God damn.
Cosby.
But when you think about that show,
people go, hypocrite and shit.
But in a way,
when you think about the show he had,
he had a regular fucking life.
But then what was his job?
He looked in women's pussies and stuff.
And you never saw it.
They never showed you that part.
So in a way,
maybe he wasn't a hypocrite.
We went and saw him.
You know,
I had maybe the greatest Bill Cosby story ever.
Really?
And now it's not in the top 10,000.
Because I'll tell people the story.
Right.
And then I'll constantly be interrupted by it.
And then,
did he rape you?
I'm like,
you didn't ever rape me?
It had nothing to do with the story.
It's like one of those little things.
You know when people do like real bad things
and then they add on a little thing.
It happens a lot in crime and shit.
Like I remember,
I'm just swearing because I can.
Like crime.
Fuck it, shit.
But like,
sometimes a guy will commit a heinous crime
and then they'll add
like some fucking,
like I remember Richard Speck.
You know,
some of you are old enough
to remember this guy.
He busted into a house
full of nurses,
raped and killed nine nurses.
He was charged with
eight counts of rape,
eight counts of murder,
one count of breaking and entering.
So the whole defense became,
I tell you,
that door was a little bit open.
You could have jimmied that open.
We're going to take pictures of it
and show it to the jury
and blow them up.
Then the judge is like,
all right,
fuck that one.
Because judges are wise,
like,
like owls.
So the judge knows
he doesn't want the guy
eight counts guilty
eight counts guilty
and on the case of breaking and entering,
innocent.
And then he's like,
hey,
what did I tell you,
everybody?
Waving at people
with his orange thing.
I had a black guy
open for me
and I got him
into the hotel.
No way.
Nice guy.
Vince Champ.
His name was
Vince Champ.
Oh, no.
I don't know.
I don't know
what ever happened
to that fellow.
But a nice, nice man.
He's arrested for rape.
He knows.
He knows.
And he's not making fun of rape.
It's like that comedian
that would rape people
at comedy,
no,
in colleges.
Yes,
Vince Champ.
They always said
his great gimmick
was that
people would think
who did it
and they'd never,
because he'd go on
to another town
and another college.
But when people say,
what about the comic?
Yeah.
Maybe the worst gimmick
a comic ever had.
Why is there an app
for everything
except how to rape a baby?
Jesus.
One of the most popular
documentaries on Netflix
is Giro.
Giro Dreams of Sushi?
Giro Dreams of Sushi.
I've seen that.
That's very good.
That's a fantastic documentary.
One of the least popular
documentaries,
Giro Nightmares
of Aspire.
Oh, yeah.
Unwatchable.
I actually did.
I liked it.
The DVD commentary.
This is not topical.
It's just about...
It's as if it's about your life.
How come none of my friends
ever have a dungeon?
Instead,
they all just have
rape dungeons.
So it's not a regular dungeon.
That's what you're saying.
All right.
Thanks again.
The bus...
I've never been thrown
under an entire
trailway's fleet.
Why did the moron
throw the clock
out the window?
Why?
Because it reminded him
of Richard Clock,
the man convicted
of knife raping
his wife.
Good God almighty.
You know...
Jesus.
You used to be...
All right.
I'm sorry.
I didn't know that one
was coming.
Wait, I have a question.
So you guys are
two very funny females,
but when you post
videos on the internet,
sometimes being a female
is a little bit different
than if I was to post
a video on the internet.
What's that like
for you two?
We've been called
certain things...
Many times.
How do you deal
with that stuff?
I think I'm numb
to it now.
We've been called
everything so many times.
I can't even...
In the beginning,
take it in anymore.
Oh my God,
I can't believe this.
We should just stop
doing this.
And then now we just
don't read the comments
and keep doing it.
Yeah.
I think that's the right way
to do it.
I think the last comment
I read was the guy...
Are you guys talking
about barfyman362?
Exactly.
Is that you?
No, that's the worst.
No, that's that motherfucker.
I don't even want
to give him attention,
but, you know,
listen.
You know,
saying those kind
of things about me...
Talk to him.
Talk to him right now.
Talk to barf.
Listen, barfyman362.
No, you cannot
rape my mother
with a knife.
Now it's official.
Yeah, that's the kind
of comment we didn't
want to read anymore.
A lot of sandwich makers,
bitches, go make me
a sandwich.
Those ones bother me
less than the knife-raping
mother stuff.
Oh, yeah,
the raping ones are worse.
Yeah, you don't want
to be raped with a knife.
I'll gladly make a sandwich.
I would much rather
be raped with something else.
I mean,
whatever they call crazy.
I mean,
you wouldn't want
to get a guy
like Jeffrey Dahmer
or something like that.
you wouldn't want
to tell anybody
who might eat you
at lunchtime,
you know,
but that was his name,
right?
Jeffrey Dahmer?
Yeah, absolutely.
Okay.
Yeah, got killed
by a broomstick,
broomstick raped.
Really?
They say it's one
of the worst ways
to go.
Yeah, exactly.
On the list
of the worst ways.
They say drowning
is very peaceful.
Broomstick rape.
Not good.
No.
They say it's one of the worst ways.
They say it's one of the worst ways.
They say it's one of the worst ways.
They say it's one of the worst ways.
They say it's one of the worst ways.
They say it's one of the worst ways.
They say it's one of the worst ways.
They say it's one of the worst ways.
They say it's one of the worst ways.
They say it's one of the worst ways.
They say it's one of the worst ways.
They say it's one of the worst ways.
They say it's one of the worst ways.
They say it's one of the worst ways.
They say it's one of the worst ways.
They say it's one of the worst ways.
They say it's one of the worst ways.
They say it's one of the worst ways.
They say it's one of the worst ways.