Name: Do you have an Oral Fixation?
Uploaded: 2021-06-13T01:44:42.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Do you have an Oral Fixation?' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Do you have an Oral Fixation?' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-06-13. Transcript available.

You know, all afternoon, as we do this, you've been playing on and off with a
cigarette.
Do you smoke?
I quit smoking a year ago.
Good for you.
Thank you.
You quit smoking.
Yeah.
And you, when you smoke at the Tomorrow Show...
We puffed.
We didn't smoke.
We puffed.
You probably caused many children to start smoking.
So you hold a cigarette and you never light it?
Yes, it helps me.
I have an oral fixation, the doctors tell me.
That never...
I'm like Beretta.
Are you doing this to be a funny thing, or do you really have to...
I feel that I have an oral fixation.
You know about that.
I don't have that, by the way.
If it's not this, I go...
You don't like sucking cock?
I don't like sucking cock.
I mean, I have done it.
Yeah, I wouldn't like it.
You know why I wouldn't like it?
Why?
Aren't those animals, like, inside the cum?
Like, I remember...
The sperm you mean?
Yeah.
So to me, like, it's a bunch of animals and stuff.
Ten long, long...
I don't know how to smoke.
I'll smoke it for you if you don't know.
No, I'm trying to...
I just figured it would be rude not to offer you a light.
It's nice, but I'm trying not to.
And I feel if I...
Sitting there with a cigarette doing...
I feel if I, you know, I took one puff.
I have an oral fixation, my doctor tells me, which is not good.
How did he know that?
I was sucking his cock.
I was sucking his cock.
Okay, since nicotine is such an addictive drug, do you think someday you'll
have to have a prescription to buy a pack of cigarettes?
Well, you know, they always bring up the Constitution and talk about how we
should still have the right to a militia and all that.
But let's face facts.
This country was built on tobacco growers.
So, you know, if you're going to start changing...
If you're not going to change one thing because it comes from way back then,
you can't change this either.
There are farmers out there who make a living.
Tobacco is one of the crops that got this country going.
So, no, I don't think they'll ever make it illegal.
Yeah, no, they shouldn't make it illegal.
I know, I know.
I think Norm's backing me up on that.
What made it...
What motivated you to quit?
Well, I guess, you know, I guess I was just...
I read this thing about how it was like a phallic symbol and my doctor went in.
He said, you probably have an oral fixation, which you know what that means.
Let's not kid ourselves, right?
So, uh...
That's why I always smoke, like, cigarettes instead of cigars, because if I'm
going to have a...
I like a little white, thin cock, you know?
Are we back to cocks again?
I go away to Ohio, Middletown, the center of the universe, to take a nice,
clean call.
And then I space out, I'm thinking, I can't listen to Norm for a second.
I've got to get a time cue here.
I come back, and you're talking about having a thin white cock in your mouth.
I know that.
No, I don't have a thin white cock in my cock, you mean?
No.
In my mouth.
No, no.
You misunderstand.
Oh, okay.
What I'm saying is this.
I'm just saying this.
Well, don't make the mistake of thinking I fucking listen to you.
I just want to make it clear about that cock thing.
I was just saying, if I ever was gay, if they, like, suddenly made it mandatory
or something,
then I would choose the smallest cock, and I would like a guy that came fast.
I don't know.
I thought the subject was cocks.
No cocks is next week.
I'm sorry.
Does that answer your question?
Yes, it does.
Norm MacDonald, ladies and gentlemen.
I don't know.