Name: Norm Macdonad on Piña colada & King of the Road
Uploaded: 2021-07-16T17:38:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonad on Piña colada & King of the Road' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonad on Piña colada & King of the Road' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-16. Transcript available.

We'll take a break, and we'll be right back right after this with the Norm MacDonald.
You're taking a break?
What? You take breaks?
The mics are off. Don't worry.
Wait, is this King of the Road?
That's French.
I can sing this song.
It's King of the Road.
Yeah.
It's in another language.
Okay, fade that out.
Are you really good at finding things quickly?
Get Roger Miller's King of the Road English version.
I'm going to point out an incredible line in it.
I like this.
You know, I like taking songs that no one knows the meaning of them.
And this first one, I don't know.
You guys might go, yeah, Todd, everybody knows that.
But I didn't know the Pina Colada song, what that meant.
Oh, yes, yes.
I just played that on something because I got them to play the whole thing on
that stupid man cow,
and he still didn't understand.
I'm going to listen to this song.
Wait, Todd, do you mean like you don't understand the story?
I didn't understand that.
No, well, most people, you just hear the...
Do you like Pina Colada?
That's all right.
They don't realize it's about adultery.
It's about a guy.
It's the strangest adultery story ever.
But here's the part with that song that I always realize, if it did ever happen...
So for the people that don't know, let me fill them in real quick.
So basically it's saying, you know, a guy takes an ad out, and for the people
that know,
they're like, Todd.
First he sees an ad in the paper.
And it says...
He goes, me and my old lady, things were getting kind of dull.
It's like, huh?
Call her his old lady.
Yeah, that's the problem.
You call her the old lady.
No respect at all.
Hey, me and my old lady were having problems.
Yeah, because you're a fucking idiot.
You want to take any responsibility for this at all?
No, it's my old lady.
So if she lays sleeping, he scours the personal ads.
Oh, God.
Scouring.
It's an ugly...
So explain the song quickly.
And then he finds that one, you know, and the text of it is,
if you like pina coladas, getting caught in the rain.
If you like something else, walking in the sand, whatever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's enough.
Romantic things people like, then you're like me, you know.
So he goes, ah, this is the lady for me, you know, not this hag of a wife.
Not my old lady.
This is somebody that he really should be with.
Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
They should meet.
His soulmate.
So then he goes, well, I'll put an ad in the paper.
I don't know why.
He could have just phoned the number.
But he put an ad the next week that said, hey, I like pina coladas.
He answered her.
Right.
I like walks in the rain.
And then basically what it says is, we decided to meet on O'Malley's.
We would meet.
And then it says, I saw her.
And who was it?
It was my...
It was my lovely lady.
Now she's a lovely lady.
Yeah.
Yeah, he got nervous, didn't he, when he fucking saw her.
Now it was my lovely lady and she looked at me.
And then their reaction is the funniest.
They start laughing.
Yes.
That's all what we just went through is worth that I wanted to talk about what
you just said.
Yes.
Think about what happened that night.
Like, if that really did happen, well, basically you could say it's a love
story about two people that realize the person you're meant to be with, you're
with.
No, no.
But he also says, he goes, and then I said, I didn't know you like pina coladas.
How this fucking...
How this escaped him for the fucking 30 years he's been with his old lady.
He never took a vacation near a bar.
Getting caught up in the rain, yeah.
So there's that.
That explains that song.
So did you find the other version that he was looking for?
Okay, so it's...
You can play it in about the middle.
You know, trailer sale for...
We can just play it.
It comes up.
Don't pay no union dues.
I smoke old stogies.
Don't pay no union dues.
What's more free than that?
Short, but not too...
It's true.
I'm a man of means.
So, you know, it's about he lives on a train.
He's king of the road.
King of the road.
Now, here, listen to this.
I know every incident will ever be trained.
All their children, all of their names...
He knows all of their children and all of their names in the town where he just
showed up on a train.
That's not true, probably.
It's just really disturbing.
Like, I can understand he knows every engineer and where you can get a free
meal, you know.
But now all of a sudden...
Every lady.
He knows every child's name and where they live.
So, the police would go, were you in, you know, were you in town last week?
Like, well, a boy's body was found in a third boxcar four miles down.
What's his name?
He had to have been leaving a lot of child corpses along the way.
When he knew their name, the names, and where they lived.
He knew where they lived.
Thank you.