Name: Norm Macdonald on the White OJ Simpson
Uploaded: 2021-07-31T13:34:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on the White OJ Simpson' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on the White OJ Simpson' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-07-31. Transcript available.

It seemed like it bothered you during those years, when you're doing the show,
that there was even any debate that this guy might not be innocent.
So you kept on the updates, you kept twisting the knife with the jokes, but it
felt like there was some real conviction.
Well, because I really, you know, I knew a lot of black guys who were my
buddies, and I was like, really? You think he's in?
And they were like, yeah, yeah, good guy.
So it was like they knew he was guilty, but they weren't, you know, they were
willing to.
And I didn't understand it until Beretta killed his wife.
And then suddenly I go, now I know why all the black guys are saying that.
Because I was like, nah, he's innocent, because I love Beretta.
When I was a kid, you know, I was a great Beretta.
And then, and so Beretta, Beretta had the worst alibi of all time, I remember.
I was like, no, I didn't shoot my wife.
It couldn't have been me.
I have an alibi.
At the time, I was picking up my gun in a restaurant.
So how could it be me?
I was in the restaurant getting my gun.
I came back.
My wife was shot.
I don't know what happened.
She had a gunshot in the head.
But anyways, he got off and he went cowboying.
Did he get off?
Why don't I remember that?
Yeah.
So who did they think killed his wife?
They're pretty sure it was somebody else that he perhaps hired.
There was a very funny, Bonnie Lee Bakley, who was his concubine.
But she, there's tapes that I listened to from the National Choir of her phoning
her wife,
her phoning her sister, because she was becoming suspicious that something
might not be on the up and up with Robert Blake,
who was treating her very well and taking her on vacation.
Anyways, the one time he took her to Big Bear, right?
The next day, she phoned her sister and she said, I think something's going on.
Because last night, I woke up in the middle of the night and Phil was there,
who was his bodyguard, you know, Robert Blake's bodyguard.
So she says, I think something might not be going right because I woke up in
the middle of the night and I could have sworn Phil was standing above me.
Looking down at me and then he ran out of the room going, I can't do it, boss.
I can't do it.
Stop.
Sorry, you don't have to be the guy with the big magnifying glass to figure out
that one.
Tell you what I do like in the news, the big murder trials, you know, because I
can follow that, you know.
And now we have the greatest one that's coming up, you know, because it's the
best when celebrities are up for murder.
Because then you know the guy, you know.
And so, right?
So they selected the jurors for the Robert Blake trial.
So that will move on.
And I'm happy about that because I love Robert Blake.
Ever since I was a kid, watched him.
Beretta, my favorite show.
God damn, that was a good show.
I will say one thing about Robert Blake.
The guy appears to have not the greatest alibi I have ever heard.
Seems to be a relatively weak alibi to me.
You know, and I'm no jurisprudence.
You know, I don't know.
But this is his alibi as far as I can figure it out.
He goes, it couldn't have been me who shot my wife in the secluded area over by
the side of the ditch.
On account, I have an alibi.
Oh, where were you?
I had to go back to the restaurant.
I forgot my gun.
Then I got my gun.
I went back to where my wife is.
And God damn, somebody shot her.
Now, so I don't know what alibis he discarded before he decided to go with that
one.
But see, this is the thing with celebrity trials, you know, is that it really
gets the country all worked up.
Because the last celebrity murder, of course, we had was the O.J. Simpson
murder.
And what happened there is O.J. Simpson was acquitted of murder, you know.
And then all the black people thought that O.J. was innocent.
And all the white people thought that O.J. was guilty.
So what happened was it created a racial divide in the country.
I read that in a magazine.
It created a...
But what that means is, of course, the races were divided, you know.
And that's no good, you know.
So I was thinking, I was figuring, maybe, what do you think of this?
Maybe we let Robert Blake off and call it even.
And then...
All right, folks, well, God bless you all and God bless America.
All right, folks, well, God bless you all.