Name: Norm Macdonald Trolling Other Comic
Uploaded: 2021-08-15T19:15:55.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Trolling Other Comic' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Trolling Other Comic' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-15. Transcript available.

and so norm was headlining and i think there were three or four comics who were
doing
five maybe eight minute sets and at that time it was all the material they had
you know they were
new comics okay i've polished off my set i got these jokes and now i'm going to
go out with this
guy he's a great headliner and we're gonna do this big corporate gig and so at
the gig as they were
starting norm off the top said i'm just going to go out there and kind of warm
up the crowd
you know do a little teaser and then you guys juice that's not coming so norm
went up and apparently
did everyone else's material did all the is this the story yeah and the what i
loved is i was told
to me they're like first of all we those are the only jokes we had but the
worst thing about it is
norm's jokes were better like our jokes he had so like he had three hours and
he was going to do an
hour on this show so he he was only doing it to fuck with them oh and he said
but we were just
mortified because like we it's not like we have a lesser five minutes right he's
like that was
everything he went and when he came off he was just he was just a joke and he's
like that that's your
turn yeah your turn oh my god i think they just went up and flopped and like
tried to do crowd work
contract and i just i like the motivelessness of it yeah oh i know just and
then because they have to
drive with him like for an hour hey wasn't that great when i did your acts what
were you thinking
i must have been crazy that's also only a joke for the other comic oh yeah yeah
they saw they saw
like a pretty okay opening and then what the hell happened in the middle and
the guy that closed was
came back and he was still without him killed yeah that's i just said yeah oh
my god well that's
mortifying and then he also didn't get any npr swag it happens at all levels
yeah that does make
me feel better and joining us in the show before the show living room is host
of norm mcdonald live on
youtube the wonderful norm mcdonald yes and jenny all the stars are here do you
want a microphone yes
is that my tree what a disaster jenny all the stars are here it's true beardy
man clode racine
dex flame uh betty fine you got it and rafi find all the stars you really keep
up with all right here
tonight oh yes uh harley morinstein is here all right and we also have comedian
todd glass he'll be
hanging out backstage with some of tonight's guests and on the red carpet we've
got comedian cool out
valley suck and i feel like todd will be struggling to to know these people
i'm sorry i'm going to continue with the uh what the computer says norm
although i'd love to talk to
you more than this computer but i have to do what the computer says even though
i really i do love you
norm i think you're one of the best um we're also going to be talking to you
though i'm no harley
morinstein you're not norm but you gotta just um just let me read this um thing
we're joined by the
talented trio called the lonely island yeah you'll be on the bit what do you
call i call him sandberg and
the other couple of fellows the mind squad is how is how rolling stone put it
hey can i ask a serious
question i mean all these jokes like like uh when you when you name yourselves
right yeah do you ever have
fucking moments of regret later because it's permanent almost like a tattoo
absolutely yeah the lonely
island i was outvoted oh you were yeah the other runner-up names i want well
our first album was
called incredibad and i wanted that to be the name of the band but i would have
had regrets about that
too though probably there's no winning when you're a comedy troupe right it all
sucks how do you guys feel
in your bodies do you feel healthy and strong absolutely not i could be eating
better yeah yeah digestion
could be going better yeah i feel like that about myself with these fucking
jokes can i ask one more
serious question with a real one or a real one sandberg when you went to snl
yeah you went different
than anybody else because you were already a big hit right i don't think so is
that true we were
definitely not a big hit no oh saturday night live made you guys a big hit yeah
i mean we had a small
internet following oh so the computer doesn't really work to make a big hit i
mean that was
like 17 years ago right how long ago was that it was a while ago it's changed
now yeah yeah
so when but when you started in credit bad slash the lonely island yeah the
lonely island what's the
significance of that name though that's what really i wanted to ask the lonely
island you think of all
islands is kind of lonely do you really want to hear this story yes please i do
a real short version
which is just basically it was what we called the apartment we lived on on olympic
with all the
traffic it was a sarcastic name from a sarcastic tennessee williams style
sketch we did about the
apartment akiva wrote a one-act play god damn i wish i had a time machine to
see that action yeah no to
take back my question i thought you were going to say to murder hitler i would
not you know people
always want to murder hitler with their time machine right but then i feel if i
got back there i'd be
afraid of falling under the spell of his beautiful eyes it's true you want to
be locked in the gaze yeah
and then i joined the party he gives you his full attention you're like whoa
wait a minute maybe
there's something to this guy no but before you ask another story believe it or
not they're telling
us to wrap it up i don't exactly know why you got it i don't want to this was
fun for everyone
i would have killed hitler so thanks gentlemen can i just clarify if i did go
back in time to kill
hitler i would do it yeah yeah i wouldn't get lost in his eyes and then bam
yeah just so i don't get
like hit from all the like i know all the nation we yeah yeah he would end it
yeah listen man i'm
sorry about wrap it up i'm sorry about bringing out the hitler you really
brought this live show
to a a a new this is the first one right this is your first interview this is
the first time
if you can bring hitler into all of them they're going to ask you back for sure
which is i know what
you want that's what we're all hoping for okay tell them to go now or you could
just be hey i love you guys
man rock tonight love you guys love you thanks guys goodbye oh we're back i
just have a word that
all the stars are out rhett mclaughlin and charles lincoln neal neal just were
spotted all the stars it
was good to see those workaholic guys because i personally i'm a workaholic for
many years i was
helplessly addicted to workahol the roast master general jeff ross joins us
welcome hi everybody
oh you got the hello world yeah norm this is so fun thank you for having me on
your live podcast it's
always fun to see you without a giant cloud of marijuana smoke between us well
it's outdoors it drifted
away how you doing buddy you got your hair cut a little i had a little trim i
was at the doggy groomer
for two hours today i have a question jeff you usually show up wearing
something very exotic yeah why the
denim today i dress like billy jack yeah you look sharp i like it i appreciate
it yeah i'm trying to up
my game for the live uh youtube show yeah man you're a hot piece of ass look at
that i do all my shopping at
the mall have you ever been to forever 41 forever 41. norm you're dressing like
you're going to help
somebody move you're wearing sweatpants to the biggest show in youtube history
this is the biggest
show on the internet you dress like you're going to paint the set he can't help
himself i gotta ask you
this though hey i saw by the way on the computer a show you do now called
morning roast unbelievable you
wake up in the morning you turn on your computer there's jeff russ waking up
himself roasting
somebody how does that work well whatever comes to my hungover head i just
start making fun of and
i put it up on on my youtube page god damn it's funny who should i roast this
week oh what about casim
yeah it would be an honor if you could just do me he's an arab if that helps i
only roast celebrities
casim so you're off you're off the hook thank you what do you dress like you're
like harry potter's
accountant well i want to thank jeff ross for turning the mirror on me today
back to you guys over there
like the inventor of a cure of some disease we haven't thought of yet look at
you're like orville
reddenbacher's fluffer i don't know norm do you know that you can watch live
stream stuff on your
phone i don't believe that's true i know i can watch it on my computer but i
don't believe i can
watch it on anything other than my computer today is a day for you then guess
what what google our
friends at google here sent us a free nexus 7 tablet really well they sent it
to you don't
say us yeah yeah don't say us it was just you just norm let's not get all
fucking plural thanks google
thanks for nothing google what i wanted to show you is how easy it is to watch
yourself and other live
streams on your tablet device on the computer on the computer yeah go ahead and
hit play there okay
right there it's so simple you see your face oh yeah it's me with a huge fat
fucking face yeah i didn't
want i didn't want to be the one to say it yeah i've been having a lot of
trouble my doctor he said uh
he's not a very nice guy he said uh open your mouth and say oink yeah you need
to get better insurance
snoring insurance he was calling me a fat pig well i mean nobody's gonna
disagree with him oh
casem i'm sorry i've got an acid tongue you do you're an acid-tongued arab
well here's this well that's very kind of you thank you very much thanks to
google thanks google i
appreciate it thanks for nothing google yeah thanks thanks google yeah back to
you guys over there
oh baby hey that's dangerous it is dangerous oh here we go we've got creator
and the star of comedy
central's hit series the sarah silverman program and she's a member of the
comedy collective jash
and also sarah silverman is a wonderful person that i'm really happy to be
around right now
thank you jenny slate straight out sunglasses oh you know how i feel about you
and about sunglasses
how do you feel i feel good i hope this um our bit works out we'll see it'll be
fun norm thanks for
dressing up yeah listen man uh congratulations that's a hundredth time that
joke's been done tonight
but i also want to tell you i have a i have a bet with daniel kellison a rather
large figure daniel
gelson who put this whole thing together way over his head he says you're gonna
he says you're gonna
explain what the josh is josh is uh uh josh is a comedy collective a a united
artists if you will
oh uh uniting myself reggie watts michael cera and tim and eric and what do we
do we do whatever we dream
up we shoot it and it goes on there we can fail we can do well it's total
freedom no offense but it
sounds like some fucking commie gobbledygook you got me nor i mean i've never
heard the word collective
i know but um daniel puts buzzwords in my head and then i just yeah i was just
thinking you know because
that hey that viagra thing out yeah and the other day you know bob dole said
came right out and said he
was one of the first yeah and you know you don't want to hear about bob dole's
cock you know i mean
president clinton's cock bob dole's cock what the hell but mostly an old man
like that an old man
you don't want him to have a super hard cock you know what i mean why why
because an old man you want
him to be a guy pipe going a newspaper the dog at his feet there well that in
some corners is considered
pipe oh but now they're gonna have to create some goddamn pill that makes women
aroused to save a
fucking seven year old dude with a super hard cock you know what i'm saying it's
crazy this viagra
it's insane and you know it's for impotent people all right for impotent guys
so get this the i read
this the the the pill can make your cock hard for four hours right so now who
has the four hour hard
cock the impotent guy the rest of us are fucked me and you me and you got a
regular cocks meanwhile
fucking spade to say you know
oh man i didn't see it i didn't see it dude i know you didn't he brought it all
around and then a
vicious rip kick into his best friend's gun once there's too much cock talk i
try to just zone out
for a minute until it goes back the other way if there's too much cock talk
this guy has fevered
nightmares all night dreams i mean like sweaty fever dreams from the from the
cock talk that's been
all over his head why bury me twice he's killing me no he's a good man that
erased it all right no he's
a good man who cares after all that that's that's the white out he puts on i
know it's all he talks
where you're doing chin-ups on cock for 18 minutes no he's a good guy i was
having dinner and then i was
going to take the red eye back and i was to pick up norm mcdonald's in my
rental car and we're on the
same flight back um but i think he was in first class when i was in coach so i
went to soup plantation
before and and had dinner with some friends and then it just hit me like your
story
i don't know if you told while we're not doing this yeah five pound weight drop
down in your belly
that happened to me and i had the diarrhea of a lifetime and the bathroom at
soup plantation like
not a luxurious like when you think it's over and you've cleaned up and you're
getting up and you stand
up and you go oh my god it's starting all over again it was like that it was
like i was sweating
like i wanted to take my shirt off yeah so i'm i'm like sick i'm sick okay so i
clean myself up you know
and i go to pick up norm mcdonald too i worshipped you know at that time and i
i pick him up and we're
i think i've never told the story i've never told him this and we're driving to
the airport and norm goes
what the fuck smells like diarrhea in this car and i'm going what and my heart
is going bam bam bam bam
bam bam and he goes did you fucking shit in your pants and i go what i don't
know what you're talking
about and i like rolled down we rolled down our windows and i'm thinking what
is he smelling like
i must have like stepped on it or something like it literally i don't know what
it was and to this
day like i was clean i was clean i swear to god this is your worst nightmare it
is still to this day
probably my worst nightmare and he's going fucking smells like fucking diarrhea
in this car and i'm like
well i don't know what to tell you norm and i'm but in my heart i'm going in my
heart is just like
pounding out of my chest and i'm just like what is wrong with me and i'm
feeling it again
and then we get to the airport and i go to the bathroom and i'm totally clean i
don't know
like i'm still to this day like i don't know if i like it was on the bottom of
my shoe or maybe in
like that when your underwear and pants form a little hammock underneath you i
don't have that
i'm a lady yeah i don't know but or maybe it was a crazy coincidence maybe i
mean it makes more sense
that norm shit his pants and was like yelling at me for shitting his pants i
mean he's a guy who
literally took a shit and then forgot to wipe and walked away and pulled up his
pants because he was
like on the phone so anyway um he just told that story on stern i think um that
was it he boarded
the plane did not even like say goodbye he just like got on the plane way
before me and i never saw
him again until we got to work on monday wow but i'm i've remained good friends
with him but i you
never told him this story no i've got to ask him about that i guess what is
there to ask well he listens
to every podcast so he'll he will probably good reach out to you after getting
this imagine if he
was still angry like all these years later you find if i can deny it well that
was what's scary is
he was angry it wasn't like oh my god do you smell that what is that is that
this area
i hope you don't think that's me you always give somebody an out it was just an
accusatory
anger and i wanted to shake your pants honestly wanted to just drive the car
into a wall and kill us
both wow less embarrassing
this is what norm just didn't care about anyone this quick story
uh pamela anderson is on it every time a hot chick would come on katan would go
over the top tonight
oh my god you know you write a sketch we're gonna make out she's hot she's with
tommy lee hammer back
off yeah right come on so you write the skits and they do this sketch where it's
um uh the twilight
zone when everyone's in pig face or something right right so that's the goof so
me katan we're all in
it and norm is the guy who's got to go imagine if you will and norm doesn't
read sketches he does he's
a pro so he would rehearse it and go hey imagine if you will and second time
and katan katan would go
my god you don't even sound like him why would you do that and i would stand
and go norm you're gonna
you're gonna hit him back like what's you're gonna say something to him you're
just gonna take that
from this guy now we go to a dress show which has audience and it's being
filmed right and again he
starts punkin into norm on the set right he's going oh my god norm you're gonna
do it right it's my only
sketch you don't sound like rod serling hey hey imagine a ten nine and we're on
hey imagine if you
will and he knew the deal right now we go to air and norm still hasn't said
nothing every time katan
would say something to him i'd look at norm like hey man you're my hero what's
up because if you're not
gonna say something i will right and sure enough you know he'd give me like a
wink i swear to you
give me a wink like i don't know what's going on live air comes on and like 20
seconds to the to
the twilight zone sketch he starts off again where mike the whole audience is
listening like i can't
katan norm you've had a salad oh god pamela you're so hot no i mean pam i can't
wait if you ever get
rid of ten seconds norm turns to katan right before i say he goes hey uh pamela
did uh chris tell you
he's gay yet and he's got all this rage because he likes being gay everyone why
don't you just say
you're gay and you wouldn't have all this anger and be a pester five seconds
and you wouldn't have
all this rage and try to interrupt everyone's sketch because you suck this week
and we're on imagine if
you will like there's my hero here's my hero see he knew to save it for the
live save

Norm Macdonald Trolling Other Comic

and so norm was headlining and i think there were three or four comics who were
doing
five maybe eight minute sets and at that time it was all the material they had
you know they were
new comics okay i've polished off my set i got these jokes and now i'm going to
go out with this
guy he's a great headliner and we're gonna do this big corporate gig and so at
the gig as they were
starting norm off the top said i'm just going to go out there and kind of warm
up the crowd
you know do a little teaser and then you guys juice that's not coming so norm
went up and apparently
did everyone else's material did all the is this the story yeah and the what i
loved is i was told
to me they're like first of all we those are the only jokes we had but the
worst thing about it is
norm's jokes were better like our jokes he had so like he had three hours and
he was going to do an
hour on this show so he he was only doing it to fuck with them oh and he said
but we were just
mortified because like we it's not like we have a lesser five minutes right he's
like that was
everything he went and when he came off he was just he was just a joke and he's
like that that's your
turn yeah your turn oh my god i think they just went up and flopped and like
tried to do crowd work
contract and i just i like the motivelessness of it yeah oh i know just and
then because they have to
drive with him like for an hour hey wasn't that great when i did your acts what
were you thinking
i must have been crazy that's also only a joke for the other comic oh yeah yeah
they saw they saw
like a pretty okay opening and then what the hell happened in the middle and
the guy that closed was
came back and he was still without him killed yeah that's i just said yeah oh
my god well that's
mortifying and then he also didn't get any npr swag it happens at all levels
yeah that does make
me feel better and joining us in the show before the show living room is host
of norm mcdonald live on
youtube the wonderful norm mcdonald yes and jenny all the stars are here do you
want a microphone yes
is that my tree what a disaster jenny all the stars are here it's true beardy
man clode racine
dex flame uh betty fine you got it and rafi find all the stars you really keep
up with all right here
tonight oh yes uh harley morinstein is here all right and we also have comedian
todd glass he'll be
hanging out backstage with some of tonight's guests and on the red carpet we've
got comedian cool out
valley suck and i feel like todd will be struggling to to know these people
i'm sorry i'm going to continue with the uh what the computer says norm
although i'd love to talk to
you more than this computer but i have to do what the computer says even though
i really i do love you
norm i think you're one of the best um we're also going to be talking to you
though i'm no harley
morinstein you're not norm but you gotta just um just let me read this um thing
we're joined by the
talented trio called the lonely island yeah you'll be on the bit what do you
call i call him sandberg and
the other couple of fellows the mind squad is how is how rolling stone put it
hey can i ask a serious
question i mean all these jokes like like uh when you when you name yourselves
right yeah do you ever have
fucking moments of regret later because it's permanent almost like a tattoo
absolutely yeah the lonely
island i was outvoted oh you were yeah the other runner-up names i want well
our first album was
called incredibad and i wanted that to be the name of the band but i would have
had regrets about that
too though probably there's no winning when you're a comedy troupe right it all
sucks how do you guys feel
in your bodies do you feel healthy and strong absolutely not i could be eating
better yeah yeah digestion
could be going better yeah i feel like that about myself with these fucking
jokes can i ask one more
serious question with a real one or a real one sandberg when you went to snl
yeah you went different
than anybody else because you were already a big hit right i don't think so is
that true we were
definitely not a big hit no oh saturday night live made you guys a big hit yeah
i mean we had a small
internet following oh so the computer doesn't really work to make a big hit i
mean that was
like 17 years ago right how long ago was that it was a while ago it's changed
now yeah yeah
so when but when you started in credit bad slash the lonely island yeah the
lonely island what's the
significance of that name though that's what really i wanted to ask the lonely
island you think of all
islands is kind of lonely do you really want to hear this story yes please i do
a real short version
which is just basically it was what we called the apartment we lived on on olympic
with all the
traffic it was a sarcastic name from a sarcastic tennessee williams style
sketch we did about the
apartment akiva wrote a one-act play god damn i wish i had a time machine to
see that action yeah no to
take back my question i thought you were going to say to murder hitler i would
not you know people
always want to murder hitler with their time machine right but then i feel if i
got back there i'd be
afraid of falling under the spell of his beautiful eyes it's true you want to
be locked in the gaze yeah
and then i joined the party he gives you his full attention you're like whoa
wait a minute maybe
there's something to this guy no but before you ask another story believe it or
not they're telling
us to wrap it up i don't exactly know why you got it i don't want to this was
fun for everyone
i would have killed hitler so thanks gentlemen can i just clarify if i did go
back in time to kill
hitler i would do it yeah yeah i wouldn't get lost in his eyes and then bam
yeah just so i don't get
like hit from all the like i know all the nation we yeah yeah he would end it
yeah listen man i'm
sorry about wrap it up i'm sorry about bringing out the hitler you really
brought this live show
to a a a new this is the first one right this is your first interview this is
the first time
if you can bring hitler into all of them they're going to ask you back for sure
which is i know what
you want that's what we're all hoping for okay tell them to go now or you could
just be hey i love you guys
man rock tonight love you guys love you thanks guys goodbye oh we're back i
just have a word that
all the stars are out rhett mclaughlin and charles lincoln neal neal just were
spotted all the stars it
was good to see those workaholic guys because i personally i'm a workaholic for
many years i was
helplessly addicted to workahol the roast master general jeff ross joins us
welcome hi everybody
oh you got the hello world yeah norm this is so fun thank you for having me on
your live podcast it's
always fun to see you without a giant cloud of marijuana smoke between us well
it's outdoors it drifted
away how you doing buddy you got your hair cut a little i had a little trim i
was at the doggy groomer
for two hours today i have a question jeff you usually show up wearing
something very exotic yeah why the
denim today i dress like billy jack yeah you look sharp i like it i appreciate
it yeah i'm trying to up
my game for the live uh youtube show yeah man you're a hot piece of ass look at
that i do all my shopping at
the mall have you ever been to forever 41 forever 41. norm you're dressing like
you're going to help
somebody move you're wearing sweatpants to the biggest show in youtube history
this is the biggest
show on the internet you dress like you're going to paint the set he can't help
himself i gotta ask you
this though hey i saw by the way on the computer a show you do now called
morning roast unbelievable you
wake up in the morning you turn on your computer there's jeff russ waking up
himself roasting
somebody how does that work well whatever comes to my hungover head i just
start making fun of and
i put it up on on my youtube page god damn it's funny who should i roast this
week oh what about casim
yeah it would be an honor if you could just do me he's an arab if that helps i
only roast celebrities
casim so you're off you're off the hook thank you what do you dress like you're
like harry potter's
accountant well i want to thank jeff ross for turning the mirror on me today
back to you guys over there
like the inventor of a cure of some disease we haven't thought of yet look at
you're like orville
reddenbacher's fluffer i don't know norm do you know that you can watch live
stream stuff on your
phone i don't believe that's true i know i can watch it on my computer but i
don't believe i can
watch it on anything other than my computer today is a day for you then guess
what what google our
friends at google here sent us a free nexus 7 tablet really well they sent it
to you don't
say us yeah yeah don't say us it was just you just norm let's not get all
fucking plural thanks google
thanks for nothing google what i wanted to show you is how easy it is to watch
yourself and other live
streams on your tablet device on the computer on the computer yeah go ahead and
hit play there okay
right there it's so simple you see your face oh yeah it's me with a huge fat
fucking face yeah i didn't
want i didn't want to be the one to say it yeah i've been having a lot of
trouble my doctor he said uh
he's not a very nice guy he said uh open your mouth and say oink yeah you need
to get better insurance
snoring insurance he was calling me a fat pig well i mean nobody's gonna
disagree with him oh
casem i'm sorry i've got an acid tongue you do you're an acid-tongued arab
well here's this well that's very kind of you thank you very much thanks to
google thanks google i
appreciate it thanks for nothing google yeah thanks thanks google yeah back to
you guys over there
oh baby hey that's dangerous it is dangerous oh here we go we've got creator
and the star of comedy
central's hit series the sarah silverman program and she's a member of the
comedy collective jash
and also sarah silverman is a wonderful person that i'm really happy to be
around right now
thank you jenny slate straight out sunglasses oh you know how i feel about you
and about sunglasses
how do you feel i feel good i hope this um our bit works out we'll see it'll be
fun norm thanks for
dressing up yeah listen man uh congratulations that's a hundredth time that
joke's been done tonight
but i also want to tell you i have a i have a bet with daniel kellison a rather
large figure daniel
gelson who put this whole thing together way over his head he says you're gonna
he says you're gonna
explain what the josh is josh is uh uh josh is a comedy collective a a united
artists if you will
oh uh uniting myself reggie watts michael cera and tim and eric and what do we
do we do whatever we dream
up we shoot it and it goes on there we can fail we can do well it's total
freedom no offense but it
sounds like some fucking commie gobbledygook you got me nor i mean i've never
heard the word collective
i know but um daniel puts buzzwords in my head and then i just yeah i was just
thinking you know because
that hey that viagra thing out yeah and the other day you know bob dole said
came right out and said he
was one of the first yeah and you know you don't want to hear about bob dole's
cock you know i mean
president clinton's cock bob dole's cock what the hell but mostly an old man
like that an old man
you don't want him to have a super hard cock you know what i mean why why
because an old man you want
him to be a guy pipe going a newspaper the dog at his feet there well that in
some corners is considered
pipe oh but now they're gonna have to create some goddamn pill that makes women
aroused to save a
fucking seven year old dude with a super hard cock you know what i'm saying it's
crazy this viagra
it's insane and you know it's for impotent people all right for impotent guys
so get this the i read
this the the the pill can make your cock hard for four hours right so now who
has the four hour hard
cock the impotent guy the rest o