Name: Norm Macdonald's Balls of Steel
Uploaded: 2021-08-25T18:47:21.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald's Balls of Steel' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald's Balls of Steel' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-08-25. Transcript available.

This weekend, veteran news anchorman David Brinkley apologized to Bill Clinton
for an election night commentary in which he called the president, quote,
boring and uncreative.
Admitted Brinkley, there was certainly nothing uncreative about the way you
moved Vince Foster's body.
The president's a murderer, you didn't know that?
The mysterious Indonesian accused of illegally raising millions for the
Democratic Party.
Earlier this week, Secret Service logs showed that Mr. Wong had visited the
Clinton White House more than 60 times.
But on Friday, administration spokesmen revealed that there are actually two
John Wongs.
Furthermore, they stress that the John Wong who visited the White House is a
different man.
He isn't the fundraiser. He's the guy who killed Vince Foster.
We're rejecting conspiracy theories that President Clinton killed Vince Foster.
A report out this week from independent counsel Kenneth Starr has officially
concluded that Vince Foster took his own life.
Among other things, the report cites evidence that Foster was deeply depressed
in the days leading up to his death.
Although the report does concede, Foster was deeply depressed because President
Clinton was trying to murder him.
On Capitol Hill this week, 17 Republican congressmen formally asked the House
Judiciary Committee whether there is sufficient evidence to begin impeachment
proceedings against President Clinton.
In response, the president said, quote,
Hey, you know who would have the answer to that question?
Vince Foster.
Okay, Norm, you're Canadian.
Yes, I am.
So what do you think of this whole presidential mess?
Well, I hope that the Democrats don't steal the election from the winner, you
know, but who knows?
You like George Bush, don't you?
I love George Bush, man.
He's a good man, decent, you know, none of this.
They love him.
Yeah, he's, you know, he's not a liar or a crook murderer or anything like that.
So it would be good to get the, see, I don't, I think we should get the
homicide out of the White House and get like a, a fresh start because we don't
want any more murderers.
I think we should just go on to the next question.
Who are the murderers?
Oh, Clinton, he murdered a guy.
Yeah, you know, we're not allowed to, you're not allowed to put out no wrong
accusations with that.
That's a little too far.
That's the way it doesn't work.
Let's just, let's just go on to the next question.
Yeah.
This is not my week.
What can I tell you?
Oh, it's not mine either.
I'm being very nice, okay?
Be a good boy.
Now, Norm.
Do you ever hear that?
No.
Listen, we don't need to talk about that.
I don't want to get into this and I don't want to hear it and this is not the
place to make those accusations.
And you're supposed to be funny.
Let's get on to that question.
So get with it.
There you go.
This is a live show.
Why?
But you have been properly chastised by Barbara.
So I'm now going to ask the next question.
I thought it was a matter of record.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Look, let me do this, okay?
I'll tell you what's a matter of record.
You will not be invited back if you don't shut up.
All right, now.
Let's talk football.
All right, manslaughter.
Let's talk football.
Norm, Norm, did you ever hear the word?
Oh, the phone is ringing.
I certainly hope that somebody's calling to tell you to go home.
Oh, no.
You got a phone ringing.
Oh.
Um.
Answer the phone.
Hello?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, no.
Uh, the thing is this.
There, uh, you know Matt Strauss?
Yeah, the producer.
The producer.
He told me it would be funny.
He said, like, why don't you carry a cell phone on and then let it ring and
then pretend like
there's a guy on it.
Is there anybody on it?
No, it's a thing.
Pretend thing.
You know what, Norm?
You're a dead man.
Yeah, you talk to him now.
You know what, Barbara?
You know what you said about rage and work?
Give this man a pint of soup and tell him to shut up.
Norm, please.
All right, then, Norm.
Let's see.
Move it right now.
Norm, Norm, Norm.
Norm.
What?
Okay, listen, Norm.
Norm, listen.
Not only have you annoyed us, but I've read that you have actually annoyed one
of your idols.
Who is that?
Oh, the great Bill Cosby.
Yeah, what'd you do?
Oh, my God.
I love that guy.
He's my hero, you know, just like you.
Maybe Bill Clinton would be your hero.
I love, I love.
There's no stopping you, is there?
No, you seem to like Bill Clinton.
And this man leaps into our show on Friday night.
I know.
It's all right, his career's over after this, anyway.
Who cares?
Go ahead, Norm.
You know, Bill Clinton, who's a great man, obviously.
You know, everybody has their opinions, right?
Are you moving along?
No, Bill Cosby.
You're going to get to the point.
Bill Cosby.
Oh, Cosby.
Oh, God.
Cosby.
What's in that coffee?
What are you drinking in there?
Well, Bill Cosby's a great man, first of all.
There has never been any accusations toward Bill Cosby
about anything.
Will you just tell us what you did by Bill Cosby?
Oh, I met him.
I opened for him at a club.
And he was a great man, you know.
He's my hero of all time.
You know how funny Bill Cosby is, right?
Yeah, so I'll get to the point.
I'm going past menopause.
Yes.
Make the point for...
Let's go.
Not everything has a point.
We are learning that.
You're just like that.
Okay.
All right, Norm, you want to finish this story,
or shall I ask you the next thing?
Well, the Bill Cosby thing is this.
Dear God.
I met Bill Cosby.
We're all fans of Bill Cosby, right?
Byron?
Yeah.
What?
Yes.
Why don't we talk about the millionaire?
Oh, yeah.
You know what?
Tonight, Norm and I...
Yes, please.
I like Bill Cosby.
Let's talk about the millionaire.
Great.
Norm MacDonald and I are on The Millionaire tonight.
Oh, yeah.
Well, tell him about that.
How you thought he's dumb today.
Wait till you see him tonight.
Come on, Norm.
Tell him, Norm.
People always told me Hollywood was, like, incredibly liberal bias,
and I thought it was untrue, but...
Do you want to talk about the millionaire?
Yes, I do.
You have ten seconds to talk about the millionaire.
Don't tell him what I want.
Don't tell him what I want?
No.
Oh.
You're not allowed to tell anything like that.
Well, what are you trying to ask him, then?
I don't know.
He doesn't answer anything anyway, so we'll tell him.
Okay, so he's on The Millionaire tonight, and he's on on Friday nights, and, uh...
And on Monday, his taxes will be audited.
So he's on Friday nights at nine.
He's on The Millionaire at nine.
He can play along at home on Enhanced TV.
You are a number.
I have never met anything like you.
We will be right back.
Going out again, am I out of my mind?
Going out with friends, gonna have a good time.
I think it's funny as that last bit.
Just so you know, you know.
Well, good evening, Mr. President, Mrs. First Lady, uh, and the distinguished
members of the
radio and television correspondence dinner, you know.
When I accepted the honor of, uh, performing here tonight, one thought crossed
my mind, and
that was, uh, please, God, don't let me bomb in front of the president.
But I'm not worried.
What the hell do I care?
You know, I got, I worked on all my jokes.
I got a lot of help from, uh, from my joke writer, Don Imus.
He was, uh, helped me a lot.
Are you familiar?
You know, this guy's a funny guy.
He wrote some jokes.
Anyways, the dinner was great.
Did you enjoy the dinner?
We had some salmon.
Yeah, it was delicious.
It was great.
And, uh, I thought it was, you know, I thought it was refreshing to see
Democrats serve something
other than subpoenas for a change.
I thought that was nice, you know.
I'll be doing some jokes later.
I just thought I'd...
And, of course, it was very inspiring to see President Clinton up here on crutches
making
a speech.
I mean, I thought that was just, uh, amazing.
You know, uh, I mean, it's been difficult for the president.
You know, he can't jog now, and, uh, he needs help getting around, and he still,
you know,
he still, uh, occasionally suffers great pain, you know.
On the upside, you got your medical marijuana, so that's, uh, you know.
You must inhale, sir.
It's the only way you're going to get better.
But, uh, but, uh, but it's not, I mean, I think this is the first time that I
can remember
that we've had a president that has hobbled, you know, and, uh, it's tough on
everybody.
The Secret Service is not easy on the Secret Service.
They've had to learn, you know, how to, uh, how to do this, and, uh, they've
been specially
trained on how to lift and carry President Clinton by, uh, top experts who've
been doing
this for a long time.
And, uh, Boris Yeltsin's Secret Service agents, they've...
They've stepped in to help, you know.
We got a lot of power here, a lot of juice.
Mr. Rue Lerlidge is here, of course, the chairman of ABC News, you know, and,
uh, a lot of crazy
stories come out of that division, you know.
You know, stories about this person sleeping with that person and all that, you
know.
Scandal after scandal, and if you heard the latest, I heard this just the other
day.
There's a rumor that last week, a certain, I don't want to say who it is, a
certain gentleman
in ABC News, he went to a party, and he got really drunk, and he ended up
having sex with
his own wife.
I don't know.
I don't know how these rumors get started, but, you know, it's probably just a
vicious
rumor, really, you know.
But as Mr. Rue Lerlidge knows, of course, TV has become a very, uh, tough game.
You gotta stay competitive, you know, and, as we all know, ABC's Good Morning
America's
in a little turmoil, you know, a little trouble, a little rating trouble, and,
uh, they're considering
a lot of ways now, you know, to, uh, to boost the ratings, and, uh, I don't
know, I think
they're getting a little desperate.
I heard that next week, Charles Gibson will announce he's a lesbian.
I mean, is that, is that going to help anything?
Nobody wants to hear that.
I'm very nervous.
I don't know why.
Before I sip this coffee, actually, sir, how much is it?
How much, how much would a cup of coffee cost in a place like this?
Nothing for you.
Nothing, it's free?
Okay, great.
I didn't want to get, you know, I didn't want to see $90,000 on my bill later.
I'm sorry.
And, of course, there are some important, uh, Washington figures who couldn't
be here
tonight.
Uh, Vice President Al Gore is not here.
Unfortunately, he, uh, he broke down and they had to leave him in the shop
overnight, but,
uh, they say he'll be all right later.
Something wrong with the voice box or something.
I don't know what it was.
Our Speaker Newt Gingrich is, uh, not here, uh, a little while back, of course,
everybody
knows, uh, that Newt pushed, uh, through a lot of budget cuts in the arts,
particularly
in, uh, PBS, you know, and the effects are being felt now.
I, I can see it even as a, as a, as a layman, you know, just watching.
You know, the other day, I, I watched that show, the, uh, the Frugal Gourmet.
It changed its name to the Cheap Bastard.
I mean,
that's crazy.
Oh, and also today, I took a, a visit to the White House.
For any of you who haven't taken a visit to the White House, unbelievable.
So, you know, awe-inspiring, and, you know, there were very, a lot of rich in
history,
so beautiful, you know.
Although I did, uh, notice a kind of an odd sign on the President's desk.
It said, uh, the yin stops here.
Have you seen it?
What the hell does that mean?
The yin?
I thought it was the buck stops here, I'd always heard.
You know, of course, they say the White House was haunted, did you know that?
And, uh, I thought this was kind of sad.
I heard, uh, last night that President Clinton, uh, charged, uh, Abraham
Lincoln's ghost 10,000
to sleep in his own bed.
So that's, that doesn't seem right to me, you know.
I mean, but look, the President, you know, has come under a lot of fire for
raising money,
but, you know, you know, he's good at, he's good at raising money.
That's not a bad thing.
Every President's done it.
It's just the President Clinton is very, very, very good at it.
Do you know he has organized, in the past year, over 100 fundraising dinners,
and over
200 fundraising midnight snacks?
Did you know that?
Is he laughing?
Is he?
No, but President, Mr. President, seriously, you know, I know you've had to
work through a
lot of distractions in doing the business of running this country, and I, I
just want to
say, you know, that I implore you, stay focused, and, and do the job, and, and
try to remember,
you know, that, that Rome was not built in a day, you know.
I mean, just ask Strom Thurmond, he'll tell you.
It's, it was not built in a day.
He's an old fella, you know, folks.
How would you not know that?
I have to say, though, you know, this is an incredible thing for me, you know,
I'm just
a punk, you know.
And yet, here I am, you know, I can't believe I'm speaking in a room, I'm
standing in a room
here with the most powerful man in the country, Alan Greenspan, you know, and I,
it's a little
amazing to me.
It's a little, you know.
Of course, that's the big story in here, in Washington, is the, the recent
marriage between
NBC's Andrea Mitchell and Alan Greenspan, who is 71 years old.
And this is sweet, you know, I didn't know this.
They wrote their own vows, you know.
She, she promised to love, honor, and speak into his good ear.
So that was, that was, that was, that was, that was kind of sweet, you know.
The, the newlyweds are going to spend their honeymoon in Mexico, and I thought
this was sweet.
But, uh, as a gift to his new bride, Alan Greenspan, just devalued the peso, so
that they'll, that'll be nice.
So, anyway, a little bit more of my coffee.
Anyways, you know, it just occurred to me, Mr. President, you are now handicapped,
and
you're the President of the United States.
You must have an unbelievable parking spot, you know.
That's, I try to be very close to the building, you know.
But, uh, you gotta hand it to the President, and his injury is not holding him
back from
doing the, the business of the nation, you know.
He, in fact, he just nominated Major General, uh, Claudia Kennedy as the Army's
first female
three-star general, and I think that's great, you know.
She's doing a great job, but apparently the only thing she's having trouble
with, she's,
she's having difficulty figuring out how to sexually harass herself.
She doesn't know how to.
What's that?
The guy yells my name for no reason.
Oh, I have another announcement to make.
Is that what you're, you're telling me?
That I should make this announcement?
You're right.
You make, you make a good point with your incoherent gibberish.
Here it is.
Here's my other announcement.
The U.S. State Department, folks, has just issued a travel warning for all
women moving
past Dick Morris' table.
So.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Well, that's about it for me.
I just want to, uh.
That's what this Heaven Gates call.
This is what everybody's talking about.
It's unbelievable.
And, uh, it really is a sad story, and it's hard to comprehend.
I mean, think about it.
Who in their right mind would believe that you get into a spaceship behind a
comet by castrating
yourself and committing suicide?
I mean, other than Pierre Salinger, who on earth would believe?
I just saw him out in the lobby with a pair of sneakers, Nike sneakers, a big
purple shroud,
going, where are they?
Like, did I miss it?
Well, that's it for me, folks.
I just want to say, you know, before I go, that it really has been a thrill for
me.
I joke around about the news, you know.
But you people, you do the real thing, and, uh, you serve as our watchdogs, and
you tell
the real stories that come out of this city.
And I, for one, you know, think you do a darn good job.
And, uh, as a matter of fact, I have a message from, uh, someone who couldn't
be here and
wanted me to read it, uh, to you.
This is from, uh, from Senator Bob Dole.
He wanted me to read this to you.
Here it is.
This is it.
This is from, from Senator Bob Dole.
Ladies and gentlemen of the press, to hell with all of you.
You cost me the damn election.
You can kiss my ass every last one of you.
Thank you, folks.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.

Norm Macdonald's Balls of Steel

This weekend, veteran news anchorman David Brinkley apologized to Bill Clinton
for an election night commentary in which he called the president, quote,
boring and uncreative.
Admitted Brinkley, there was certainly nothing uncreative about the way you
moved Vince Foster's body.
The president's a murderer, you didn't know that?
The mysterious Indonesian accused of illegally raising millions for the
Democratic Party.
Earlier this week, Secret Service logs showed that Mr. Wong had visited the
Clinton White House more than 60 times.
But on Friday, administration spokesmen revealed that there are actually two
John Wongs.
Furthermore, they stress that the John Wong who visited the White House is a
different man.
He isn't the fundraiser. He's the guy who killed Vince Foster.
We're rejecting conspiracy theories that President Clinton killed Vince Foster.
A report out this week from independent counsel Kenneth Starr has officially
concluded that Vince Foster took his own life.
Among other things, the report cites evidence that Foster was deeply depressed
in the days leading up to his death.
Although the report does concede, Foster was deeply depressed because President
Clinton was trying to murder him.
On Capitol Hill this week, 17 Republican congressmen formally asked the House
Judiciary Committee whether there is sufficient evidence to begin impeachment
proceedings against President Clinton.
In response, the president said, quote,
Hey, you know who would have the answer to that question?
Vince Foster.
Okay, Norm, you're Canadian.
Yes, I am.
So what do you think of this whole presidential mess?
Well, I hope that the Democrats don't steal the election from the winner, you
know, but who knows?
You like George Bush, don't you?
I love George Bush, man.
He's a good man, decent, you know, none of this.
They love him.
Yeah, he's, you know, he's not a liar or a crook murderer or anything like that.
So it would be good to get the, see, I don't, I think we should get the
homicide out of the White House and get like a, a fresh start because we don't
want any more murderers.
I think we should just go on to the next question.
Who are the murderers?
Oh, Clinton, he murdered a guy.
Yeah, you know, we're not allowed to, you're not allowed to put out no wrong
accusations with that.
That's a little too far.
That's the way it doesn't work.
Let's just, let's just go on to the next question.
Yeah.
This is not my week.
What can I tell you?
Oh, it's not mine either.
I'm being very nice, okay?
Be a good boy.
Now, Norm.
Do you ever hear that?
No.
Listen, we don't need to talk about that.
I don't want to get into this and I don't want to hear it and this is not the
place to make those accusations.
And you're supposed to be funny.
Let's get on to that question.
So get with it.
There you go.
This is a live show.
Why?
But you have been properly chastised by Barbara.
So I'm now going to ask the next question.
I thought it was a matter of record.
Shut up.
Shut up.
Look, let me do this, okay?
I'll tell you what's a matter of record.
You will not be invited back if you don't shut up.
All right, now.
Let's talk football.
All right, manslaughter.
Let's talk football.
Norm, Norm, did you ever hear the word?
Oh, the phone is ringing.
I certainly hope that somebody's calling to tell you to go home.
Oh, no.
You got a phone ringing.
Oh.
Um.
Answer the phone.
Hello?
Oh, yeah.
Oh, no.
Uh, the thing is this.
There, uh, you know Matt Strauss?
Yeah, the producer.
The producer.
He told me it would be funny.
He said, like, why don't you carry a cell phone on and then let it ring and
then pretend like
there's a guy on it.
Is there anybody on it?
No, it's a thing.
Pretend thing.
You know what, Norm?
You're a dead man.
Yeah, you talk to him now.
You know what, Barbara?
You know what you said about rage and work?
Give this man a pint of soup and tell him to shut up.
Norm, please.
All right, then, Norm.
Let's see.
Move it right now.
Norm, Norm, Norm.
Norm.
What?
Okay, listen, Norm.
Norm, listen.
Not only have you annoyed us, but I've read that you have actually annoyed one
of your idols.
Who is that?
Oh, the great Bill Cosby.
Yeah, what'd you do?
Oh, my God.
I love that guy.
He's my hero, you know, just like you.
Maybe Bill Clinton would be your hero.
I love, I love.
There's no stopping you, is there?
No, you seem to like Bill Clinton.
And this man leaps into our show on Friday night.
I know.
It's all right, his career's over after this, anyway.
Who cares?
Go ahead, Norm.
You know, Bill Clinton, who's a great man, obviously.
You know, everybody has their opinions, right?
Are you moving along?
No, Bill Cosby.
You're going to get to the point.
Bill Cosby.
Oh, Cosby.
Oh, God.
Cosby.
What's in that coffee?
What are you drinking in there?
Well, Bill Cosby's a great man, first of all.
There has never been any accusations toward Bill Cosby
about anything.
Will you just tell us what you did by Bill Cosby?
Oh, I met him.
I opened for him at a club.
And he was a great man, you know.
He's my hero of all time.
You know how funny Bill Cosby is, right?
Yeah, so I'll get to the point.
I'm going past menopause.
Yes.
Make the point for...
Let's go.
Not everything has a point.
We are learning that.
You're just like that.
Okay.
All right, Norm, you want to finish this story,
or shall I ask you the next thing?
Well, the Bill Cosby thing is this.
Dear God.
I met Bill Cosby.
We're all fans of Bill Cosby, right?
Byron?
Yeah.
What?
Yes.
Why don't we talk about the millionaire?
Oh, yeah.
You know what?
Tonight, Norm and I...
Yes, please.
I like Bill Cosby.
Let's talk about the millionaire.
Great.
Norm MacDonald and I are on The Millionaire tonight.
Oh, yeah.
Well, tell him about that.
How you thought he's dumb today.
Wait till you see him tonight.
Come on, Norm.
Tell him, Norm.
People always told me Hollywood was, like, incredibly liberal bias,
and I thought it was untrue, but...
Do you want to talk about the millionaire?
Yes, I do.
You have ten seconds to talk about the millionaire.
Don't tell him what I want.
Don't tell him what I want?
No.
Oh.
You're not allowed to tell anything like that.
Well, what are you trying to ask him, then?
I don't know.
He doesn't answer anything anyway, so we'll tell him.
Okay, so he's on The Millionaire tonight, and he's on on Friday nights, and, uh...
And on Monday, his taxes will be audited.
So he's on Friday nights at nine.
He's on The Millionaire at nine.
He can play along at home on Enhanced TV.
You are a number.
I have never met anything like you.
We will be right back.
Going out again, am I out of my mind?
Going out with friends, gonna have a good time.
I think it's funny as that last bit.
Just so you know, you know.
Well, good evening, Mr. President, Mrs. First Lady, uh, and the distinguished
members of the
radio and television correspondence dinner, you know.
When I accepted the honor of, uh, performing here tonight, one thought crossed
my mind, and
that was, uh, please, God, don't let me bomb in front of the president.
But I'm not worried.
What the hell do I care?
You know, I got, I worked on all my jokes.
I got a lot of help from, uh, from my joke writer, Don Imus.
He was, uh, helped me a lot.
Are you familiar?
You know, this guy's a funny guy.
He wrote some jokes.
Anyways, the dinner was great.
Did you enjoy the dinner?
We had some salmon.
Yeah, it was delicious.
It was great.
And, uh, I thought it was, you know, I thought it was refreshing to see
Democrats serve something
other than subpoenas for a change.
I thought that was nice, you know.
I'll be doing some jokes later.
I just thought I'd...
And, of course, it was very inspiring to see President Clinton up here on crutches
making
a speech.
I mean, I thought that was just, uh, amazing.
You know, uh, I mean, it's been difficult for the president.
You know, he can't jog now, and, uh, he needs help getting around, and he still,
you know,
he still, uh, occasionally suffers great pain, you know.
On the upside, you got your medical marijuana, so that's, uh, you know.
You must inhale, sir.
It's the only way you're going to get better.
But, uh, but, uh, but it's not, I mean, I think this is the first time that I
can remember
that we've had a president that has hobbled, you know, and, uh, it's tough on
everybody.
The Secret Service is not easy on the Secret Service.
They've had to learn, you know, how to, uh, how to do this, and, uh, they've
been specially
trained on how to lift and carry President Clinton by, uh, top experts who've
been doing
this for a long time.
And, uh, Boris Yeltsin's Secret Service agents, they've...
They've stepped in to help, you know.
We got a lot of power here, a lot of juice.
Mr. Rue Lerlidge is here, of course, the chairman of ABC News, you know, and,
uh, a lot of crazy
stories come out of that division, you know.
You know, stories about this person sleeping with that person and all that, you
know.
Scandal after scandal, and if you heard the latest, I heard this just the other
day.
There's a rumor that last week, a certain, I don't want to say who it is, a
certain gentleman
in ABC News, he went to a party, and he got really drunk, and he ended up
having sex with
his own wife.
I don't know.
I don't know how these rumors get started, but, you know, it's probably just a
vicious
rumor, really, you know.
But as Mr. Rue Lerlidge knows, of course, TV has become a very, uh, tough game.
You gotta stay competitive, you know, and, as we all know, ABC's Good Morning
America's
in a little turmoil, you know, a little trouble, a little rating trouble, and,
uh, they're considering
a lot of ways now, you know, to, uh, to boost the ratings, and, uh, I don't
know, I think
they're getting a little desperate.
I heard that next week, Charles Gibson will announce he's a lesbian.
I mean, is that, is that going to help anything?
Nobody wants to hear that.
I'm very nervous.
I don't know why.
Before I sip this coffee, actually, sir, how much is it?
How much, how much would a cup of coffee cost in a place like this?
Nothing for you.
Nothing, it's free?
Okay, great.
I didn't want to get, you know, I didn't want to see $90,000 on my bill later.
I'm sorry.
And, of course, there are some important, uh, Washington figures who couldn't
be here
tonight.
Uh, Vice President Al Gore is not here.
Unfortunately, he, uh, he broke down and they had to leave him in the shop
overnight, but,
uh, they say he'll be all right later.
Something wrong with the voice box or something.
I don't know what it was.
Our Speaker Newt Gingrich is, uh, not here, uh, a little while back, of course,
everybody
knows, uh, that Newt pushed, uh, through a lot of budget cuts in the arts,
particularly
in, uh, PBS, you know, and the effects are being felt now.
I, I can see it even as a, as a, as a layman, you know, just watching.
You know, the other day, I, I watched that show, the, uh, the Frugal Gourmet.
It changed its name to the Cheap Bastard.
I mean,
that's crazy.
Oh, and also today, I took a, a visit to the White House.
For any of you who haven't taken a visit to the White House, unbelievable.
So, you know, awe-inspiring, and, you know, there were very, a lot of rich in
history,
so beautiful, you know.
Although I did, uh, notice a kind of an odd sign on the President's desk.
It said, uh, the yin stops here.
Have you seen it?
What the hell does that mean?
The yin?
I thought it was the buck stops here, I'd always heard.
You know, of course, they say the White House was haunted, did you know that?
And, uh, I thought this was kind of sad.
I heard, uh, last night that President Clinton, uh, charged, uh, Abraham
Lincoln's ghost 10,000
to sleep in his own bed.
So that's, that doesn't seem right to me, you know.
I mean, but look, the President, you know, has come under a lot of fire for
raising money,
but, you know, you know, he's good at, he's good at raising money.
That's not a bad thing.
Every President's done it.
It's just the President Clinton is very, very, very good at it.
Do you know he has organized,