Name: Norm Macdonald is a Master of Comedic Pauses
Uploaded: 2021-09-04T21:27:03.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald is a Master of Comedic Pauses' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald is a Master of Comedic Pauses' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-09-04. Transcript available.

But what I want to tell you is this, with all your wealth and your success, and
this is serious from the heart, you know, you've got to remember, this is a
saying I made up.
So when I say, you know, I used to make jokes at 12.30 about him being gay,
that's absolutely ridiculous.
But when we were starting out, I will tell you one story about Andy.
You know, what I do is I've decided to become a kind of a social observer.
You know me, I like to make jokes about hats.
But it says right here, there's a new strain of swine flu that could turn into
a pandemic.
Like, I don't know much about science, you know.
I don't pretend to be a epidemiologist.
Sometimes I do, but, you know, that's when I've had a little whiskey.
Yeah, yeah.
But I do know this, a word cannot be good when it's a combination of panic and
epidemic.
So how'd this...
Look, we're reading your resume.
It says here, your last gainful employment was trying to assassinate a sitting
president.
That doesn't go good down here.
We run a kind of a mom and pop operation.
Also, uh...
Look at that guy, man.
Good Lord, I'd like to...
Whatever.
I'm thankful for the fine ladies who live across this country and leave pies on
their window sills.
So an old chunk of coal like me might have a meal from time to time.
Okay.
Are there a lot of these?
I'm most thankful for, honest to God, his friends.
Oh.
You know?
Yeah.
Yes, Conan, friends.
Especially the one where Joey buys Chandler a duck.
All right.
All right.
Yeah.
Well, I'm thankful that this year the police finally solved the baffling murder
of Bob Hope.
No, the Burbank police and the L.A.
Uh, and finally...
Like, when I was young, there was a fella, uh, went by the name of, uh, Jacques
de Gautier.
I started to do stand-up and travel from here to there and to here again.
We're tuning in to listen to comedians doing comedy.
Plus some douchebag.
I don't know who he was, but I like to punch him right in the fucking face.
I, I, I'm not an actor and I'm not a comedian, but I'm...
This guy says your face looks like a cunt.
I met you underneath the Queensboro Bridge.
You, at the time, were jerking off punks for $15 a man.
Um, my, my whole family's watching, man.
My grandmother.
Your family doesn't know that when you were a young man, you used to jerk off
punks for $15 a man.
You got paid for this, for this?
You didn't get a check?
I did not get a check.
Who paid you?
Daniel Kelsen, our producer.
He gave me a check last week.
You got a check from Daniel?
Yeah, he got it right here.
No way.
Let me see that.
Yeah, right here.
Let me see this thing.
It is from Daniel Kelsen.
Pay to the order of Adam Egott for services rendered $15.
Game of Thorns.
It's Thrones.
Yeah.
Game of Thrones.
Sure.
Well, what the fuck is that?
Whoever watched that?
I mean, I've seen it.
Now, are you telling me that's better than Norm Macdonald Live?
I mean, I don't want to say it's better than, I mean, it's, a lot of people
watch it.
It's a pretty popular show.
What's it about?
It's about, you know, like, ladies and knights and kings and midgets and, you
know, dragons.
Sounds like my honeymoon.
Kinky Boots is number eight.
Sounds like my honeymoon.
There's this guy, Chance Langton, do you know him?
He's a comic.
No.
But he said when he was a young boy, he loved Shirley Temple.
He was five and she was five.
The next year, he saw her in a mall.
He was six.
She was 50.
And, uh, his descriptions of the food, uh, what was the music all about?
Oh, I just put that there.
I feel like an elephant does- is not fat.
Well, it's so isolated, you see, because there is another sister that lives
there.
A leper.
I wish I could find a Hitler of today and go kill him.
By the way, I saw that film that, uh, you recommended me that you called a
fantasy, Shoah.
Horrifying.
Horrifying.
Horrifying.
Tom had a question he wanted to ask you about your comedy.
Yeah.
I've been, uh, I've been chomping at the bits to ask this one.
I've been thinking about it all week.
Norm told me to come up with some questions for you, and I've just been dying
to know.
Where do you get your ideas from?
Were you in New York when the Twin Towers fell?
No, I was, uh, in, uh, Los Angeles.
Well, either way, it was a national tragedy.
It was.
I, uh, I know.
9-11.
We're gonna go to hell.