Name: I Hate Meta
Uploaded: 2021-11-10T13:02:56.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'I Hate Meta' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'I Hate Meta' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-10. Transcript available.

Are those your jokes that you wrote today?
Yep.
Been cracking them out.
I am going to prove something right now.
Read the jokes to me.
I'm on a seafood diet.
I see food, and if it's a fish, I eat it.
Meta.
Yeah.
I hate meta.
Some people keep trying to get me to do meta comedy, so there you go.
I heard a joke.
Yeah, there you go, Norm.
How does it take about a night monkey?
All right, hold on a second.
Go ahead, Norm.
No, no, no.
I'm terrible at telling jokes, but a guy, he gets a genie or something that
gives you wishes
and a lamp.
Right?
Yes.
Right?
Yeah.
Okay.
And so he's like, oh, no, no.
That's not it.
No.
His whole head is a giant pumpkin.
That's how the joke starts.
Mm-hmm.
It's like a giant pumpkin, and then his friend goes, what happened?
He's like, I found this genie in a lamp, and he gave me three wishes.
And he's like, what happened?
He goes, well, the first wish, I wished for, like, a hundred million dollars,
and I got
it.
And then for my second wish, I wished for, like, a beautiful lady, and I got
her.
And the guy's like, yeah, but what happened?
He's like, the third wish, that's where I really blew it.
And the guy goes, what happened?
You know what I really hate?
You know what I really hate?
You know what I really hate?
You go anywhere with him, like, for a couple of days, he does that on purpose.
He'll tell jokes with no ending on purpose.
I don't think you need one.
Sometimes you can tell a joke.
Like that.
Yeah.
And then that happened.
You don't need to have a joke.
You want to read a joke?
Sure.
You read them so good, but do you like his meta jokes?
He's a deep guy, you know?
He's a young guy that's still finding themselves, so he's meta.
Yeah.
How many Polish guys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
The question cannot be answered because Polish people are so fucking stupid
that no matter
how many of them are available, none of them would ever be able to complete
that simple
task.
This is a meta joke.
You're aware of these meta jokes?
How many comedians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
How many?
Two.
One to do it, and the other guy to go, how long has he been up there?
I like that one.
On stage.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because they were like, how long?
This is the post-punk comedy.
I see.
Now this might be too...
It's not one of those sabotaging guys.
It's afraid of success.
No, no, no.
No, this is a new type of comedy that may be a little advanced for the likes of
you and
me.
To tell you the truth.
I try to take a chance.
I think that's what it is.
He had to do, it's called anti-comedy.
Anti-comedy or meta-comedy.
Yeah.
Anti meaning the opposite.
Before we begin, I have a quick public service announcement.
Would somebody, anybody, please fuck Martha Stewart?
I got that one.
What?
I don't understand that.
What?
That's weird, right?
Too soon.
It's meta.
Oh, fuck.
Meta.
Do you like the meta-comedy?
Meta world peace comedy?
Yeah.
Comedy I like.
Your mom is so fat, she developed type 2 diabetes and congestive heart failure.
Snap!
I don't get that.
So fat, she did something.
Well, it's kind of an anti-joke.
It's a literal, yes.
Oh, okay.
You know, these new meta-jokes?
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't know that.
Well, she's so fat, you expect a joke, but then she's just so fat.
I get it.
If thinking that women are not funny, emotionally irrational, and less
intelligent than men makes
me sexist, then yes, I am sexist.
Another meta-joke.
Is it?
Sorta.
Boy, was it hot outside today?
I went out to buy a California Pizza Kitchen signature pepperoni frozen flatbread,
and by the time
I got home, it was perfectly cooked and entirely eaten.
100% true.
Oh, you ate it.
See, I love how many laughs.
I love how many laughs.
It's just cool, dude.
Some of them are odd.
I'm not going to lie to you.
This is a joke.
Well, some of them.
But this is a joke.
I think technically.
Like an observational joke?
I was thinking that the new comedians, like Jim Gaffigan, what is it called
when you say
a joke and then refer to it?
Oh, yeah.
Some sort of meta.
I don't know what it's called, but yeah, everybody's just doing that.
What are they doing?
Kind of explain what they do.
Well, what they do is they're basically saying -- what Jim does is he's telling
you what the
audience's reaction to that joke is.
So give an example.
So it's like, you know --
The joke part isn't important.
The joke part isn't important.
You can talk about the Care Bears.
But you just say the --
Make up a punch line.
Yeah.
So he's like, you know, I like Samuel -- some of the punch lines.
Samuel L. Jackson.
Oh, I don't care for him.
He's not a good actor.
Something like that.
Sometimes beauty is distracting, too.
Like, Halle Berry, she is so beautiful.
Whenever she's in a movie, I find it hard to follow the plot.
Like, when she was in "Monster's Ball" playing that poverty-stricken woman, the
entire time I was watching the movie, I was like, well, why doesn't she just
become a model?
He said he was commenting on his own act, not on Samuel L. Jackson.
Oh, yeah, but he's talking about the -- why does this -- all right, so he'll be
talking about, like, cheeseburgers.
I -- you know, I love about mini muffins is you can eat fucking 12 of them.
Oh, he just keeps talking about food.
Why is he talking about food so much?
He does that.
And now this has become a kind of a standard since --
Yeah, since he did it, it's like everybody.
Try and be a good dad.
I sat the older three down, and I explained to them that the new baby does not
mean I love them any less.
But I will have to let one of them go.
So if anyone knows of a toddler rescue, maybe we could get Sarah McLachlan to
do the commercial.
I don't like that joke at all.
Why would he put that joke in this special?
Four kids.
Bedtime is a crisis.
That's why I'm here right now.
I saw Gilbert do that 20 years ago.
Yeah.
Where he was his own father.
Yeah.
Watching his dad.
Yeah.
How did that go?
And he put on a pair of glasses.
What kind of a joke was that?
He didn't answer it.
I don't understand that he does the fingers fighting with each other, and that's
a joke.
I've been doing that for years.
Way before they had a name for it.
I had no idea.
He would say a joke, and then he'd put on his glasses.
He'd be his father and not care for the joke.
Right?
Yeah.
That's brilliant.
What do you have to say now?
I'm not a good -- you know.
Anything.
Yeah, clearly.
I mean -- it's like --
Gilbert is not looking at your slow burn that you've been trying to perfect.
- I mean.