Name: Norm Macdonald Roasting Rosie O'Donnell
Uploaded: 2021-11-28T13:05:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Roasting Rosie O'Donnell' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald Roasting Rosie O'Donnell' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-11-28. Transcript available.

I actually have a pretty funny story that I think you'll enjoy.
Can I, wait, Daniel, can I ask this quickly?
When you produced Norm's first segment for Letterman, was it a stand-up hit?
It was a stand-up, yeah.
Here's the thing, also, like, I don't take any, there's no sort of, like,
discovery here
because this was a guy who was, everybody who saw him discovered him.
He was, he just was above, way above everybody else in terms of his abilities.
Yeah, totally agree.
So, sorry, tell us the story.
Well, the story is, and, you know, I, you know, I got to know Norm pretty well,
and, you know, he liked to torture people.
He liked to be a contrarian, but he also liked to sort of torture people,
and he was, at the time knowing that I was Rosie, and he'd come and visit me in
my offices all the time,
and Rosie was very popular, he would make tons of jokes about her, you know,
girth.
And it really, like, hurt Rosie's feelings quite a lot, and she loved Norm, as
did everyone.
And I said, well, let me talk to him, he's a nice, he's a reasonable guy, he's
a nice guy.
And so I said to Norm, you know, Norm, you know, you could be on the show, on
Rosie's show all the time,
and you sort of broaden your net here a little bit and appeal to some women,
and, you know, I think this could be a good thing for you,
and I think you just have to stop making all the fat jokes about Rosie.
And he said, no, no, no, you're right, and he agreed.
And I told Rosie, who was, like, you know, really happy.
And the next night, you know, Norm went on Conan, and, you know, immediately
started right in,
and he said, you know, this Rosie O'Donnell show is quite the phenomenon, and
Conan sort of gamely agreed.
And then immediately started, you know, he said, you know, he said, have you
seen there are all these flowers lying in the hallway in their dressing room?
Which is true, there were.
And Conan said, no, I know, it's amazing.
And Norm said, you know, I didn't know you could eat flowers.
And that was sort of that.
That was like Norm was never on the show, and that was the end of that.
This is an exciting day here at 30 Rock, you know, the Rosie O'Donnell show
premiered today.
And I was in, it's tapes at the same floor at Saturday Night Live on 8H.
They had flowers sent, there was the whole, it's unbelievable, you know, people
must love it.
There's flowers all along the entire 8H.
All flowers, they're sent by, like, there's one from Madonna, one from
Elizabeth Taylor, Regis and Kathy Lee.
I've never seen so many flowers.
I didn't even realize you could eat flowers.
I didn't even know that.
But, no.
Hiya, Rosie.
I'll be a pal.
That's mighty neighborly of you, Norman.
Nice of you to eat all those flowers, Norman.
No, she's great.
The show is great, you know.
Ah, you're screwed now.
I think Rosie O'Donnell hates me, too, so.
Norm MacDonald in studio.
That was a long, dull story.
No, I liked it.
I liked it.
And, uh...
There was no interplay.
I'd like to hear why Rosie O'Donnell hates you as well.
Not this second.
We're going to take a break.
Norm MacDonald here.
We talked earlier about your experience on The View.
Now, while you were there, Rosie O'Donnell was not there.
But now she is, and yesterday, she sort of accused Oprah of being a little bit
gay, discussing the road trip that Oprah took with her best friend, Gail King.
This is from The View earlier this week.
I think that's very typical of gay relationships.
Not saying they're gay.
But, you know, two women get together, and after you're two, all you do is
spoons.
You know what I'm saying?
No, it's really true.
She's like, well, we're not having sex, Oprah, we're not gay.
I'm like, well, you might be a little bit gay.
You're just not doing it.
You know what I mean?
I mean, a little, a tiny bit.
Yeah, but when you're acting, I'm just like, teeny, tiny little bit.
So I'm not saying it, it sounds like they did do it.
No, I don't think they did.
Okay.
I really do it.
Yes, so you can be a little bit gay?
Well, I'm just saying they are very bonded.
They talk to each other five times a day.
They should rename that show Cluster F.
I don't know how it would work.
It's very odd for a gay person to insult the person by calling them gay.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
To slam them, because I've had that with gay guys.
They go, oh, you're probably gay, you know?
Yeah.
Well, they're not insulting you.
Maybe they're giving you a compliment.
No, no, they say it as if, you know, because they say, like, guys that are homophobic
are
actually gay, which is insane.
Right.
And, but they'll say stuff like that.
No, it's funny when really fat guys.
And Rosie O'Donnell says, like, oh, hey, they're not having sex.
As far as I know, gay ladies cannot have sex.
Yeah, they can do.
They can just have pillow fights or whatever.
Yeah, I mean, they can do what we do before we have sex.
Yeah, they can do what we can do.
Horse play, horse play.
I think they call it core play.
I think they call it Tom Poole.
It's Tom Poole.
Well, Norris told us his last all-natured in women.
Yeah, my dad, you say, knock it off, take it outside.
You guys going to be performing oral on each other?
Take it outside.
You ever think about Rosie O'Donnell when you're doing it?
Good lord.
No way, right?
Name some names.
Name some names of who you think about.
You know who Rosie O'Donnell would be good at giving?
What?
Really wide head.
Oh, that's funny.
Does Rosie O'Donnell have the biggest head on the planet?
She really does.
How much is her head weight?
Do you take a guess?
About her head weight?
Oh, well, that age-old argument, I'm not going to get into that.
You're not even going to get into it.
I see.
I see.
And she's on the new $100 bill.
Did you see her picture?
It's pretty wild.
Let me ask you a question.
It's fourth down and one.
You're at the one-yard line.
You have the choice.
You can head it to O.J. Simpson, Jim Brown, or Emmett Smith.
I'd go with Rosie O'Donnell.