Name: Norm Macdonald on The Dalai Lama
Uploaded: 2021-12-25T16:32:58.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on The Dalai Lama' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-12-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Norm Macdonald on The Dalai Lama' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2021-12-25. Transcript available.

Hey, how about this? The Dalai Lama said that killing in the name of religion
is unthinkable.
Hey, thanks, Dalai Lama. I'm sure everybody will fucking listen to you.
No one listens to the Dalai Lama.
No, no one. He doesn't have a wide reach.
Like the head of another church is going to listen to the Dalai Lama?
Whatever. Everybody's good.
I remember one time there was a news story that the Queen of England had to
take a pay cut.
By God, my grandmother, what will Lizzie do?
What explains that?
Well, I suppose a royal has been designated as God's anointed representative on
earth, much the same as a pope.
So you place their well-being and their safety and their significance above
your own.
I mean, in a way, it's a useful metaphor, isn't it?
Because otherwise you're taking your own life seriously, your own frailties,
your own flaws, getting stuck in traffic and irritated.
If you can just focus on the majesty of the queen, the splendor, the pageantry,
rolling down a red carpet and whatnot,
it makes you feel like, oh, at least that's all okay.
So the idea of that being attacked is almost like God's potency is somehow
being diminished.
And what do you make of the people that are in this position, the pope or the
queen or the Dalai Lama?
Do they believe it?
Well, I mean, that Dalai Lama.
Or are they willing to go along with it?
I like him.
The Dalai Lama?
I mean, that Dalai Lama.
Now, I think for all people in positions of authority and power, the true power
is to serve, true authority is to serve, true leadership is to serve.
So people that are in positions of privilege and then don't serve, I think that's
corruption.
So me, I'm not really down with the pope or the queen or any of them.
Dalai Lama.
But the Dalai Lama was born the Dalai Lama, right?
Yes, he was.
Explain to the folks at home how he was chosen.
What happens is, if you, like the Dalai Lama, one dies, you've got a Dalai Lama,
he dies, you've broken one, now you've got to get another one.
So the most prominent monks of the Tibetan Buddhist community all come together
and meditate by a sacred lake and do some ritualistic burnings.
And they are led by smoke and by dreams to where the new Dalai Lama will
reincarnate.
They go to the village and they talk to all the boys that have been born at age
between 0 and 2.
They take with them artifacts that belonged to the previous Dalai Lama.
In the case of the current Dalai Lama, they took a walking stick and I think
some kind of shirt or something.
And apparently the new Dalai Lama, Dalai Lama Plus, this time it's personal,
see that walking stick.
It's like, I left that.
It was on it like a bonnet.
Bang, give us that, that's mine.
And they went, oh, here he is.
Dalai Lama's back.
So then they take him off.
They inculcate him in the ways of Buddhism and that.
Now yet, if I said that in a child abduction hearing.
So did the Dalai Lama have something about him that was otherworldly or
supernatural?
He had an ethereal glow.
I'll tell you that much, Norm.
He was glowing right at me.
So like when I met him, I thought, yeah, you could tell.
He sort of, as soon as I see him.
Well, you glow a little.
Well, that's because I'm working on my messianic undercurrent.