Name: Sow! Sow! Sow!
Uploaded: 2022-01-02T15:58:05.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sow! Sow! Sow!' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Sow! Sow! Sow!' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-01-02. Transcript available.

i envy you because you have obviously you're a more enlightened person see i
think of sex
as a shameful filthy act catholic are you no no where do you pick this up i
grew up that way and
i and the farm watching animals doing it in rural canada sal sal sal sal sal
they listen they were
pig farmers they're they're not gracious creatures when it comes to conjugal
matters i've recently
had an interest in oral sex you could imagine horrible gums sort of yellowing
molars i would
never engage in sex with anything poor scene i see you once i went around a
friend's house they had a
pig they thought it was an angle yeah i go it's like they goes oh the pig's
coming out and i could
hear it this sort of desperate respiratory announcements preceded its arrival
it come out
blind it was shuffled out at me and they went with a pig and you'll know this
being from the world
never they said never take a step back once that pig comes out otherwise the
pig owns the hierarchical
status between the two of you in fact take a step towards the pig never did i
deny my nature more
i'm a vegetarian than stepping towards this unholy looking creature i did it
anyway it is an unholy
creature for god's sake jesus threw the demons in them and let them go over the
cliff jesus thought that
they were simply a receptacle for demons and then even then yeah get them over
a cliff it wasn't like
let them live in the barnyard full of demons got rid of them executed them so
for me i got no uh like
as a vegetarian i love all of the animals but pigs i will tell you my idea
about vegetarian first of all
let me say i once saw a video and i don't search out these videos but you know
when guys show them to
you they go you'll want to see this and you're like yeah jesus and then there's
no one seeing it you
know but it was a it was a guy having it was a set a pig having sex with a lady
that's in that and i
they have prehensile penises they do like corkscrews so their penis is its own
independent
entity trying to get away from the pig which all of us can identify with ghastly
but i felt sorry
for the pig because here's the pig having sex with a beautiful woman then they
throw them back in the
sty you know you know what i'm saying it's like a cruel thing to do it's like
the midpoint of trading
places it's very unfair thing to do that yeah um during the break he's become
even more funny and famous
now you uh recently gave a speech at the university of iowa and i'm told that
eighty percent of the
audience walked out what what what could you possibly have said to them to make
eighty percent of them
walk out it was a speech it was like some stand-up yeah well what did you say
to them i was just talking
like i don't have a my stand-up bag i just talk about whatever i'm thinking
about mm-hmm
like so what'd you say at the time it was about uh having sex with an animal uh
but it wasn't like
weird it was like i'm not i'm not in favor i'm not in favor yeah but i was just
talking about it
because i thought it was odd like they have a word for it bestiality and nobody
i know has ever done
it nobody i know you know what i mean i i've never known anybody that's ever
known anybody that's
ever had sex with animals but a lot of people are having sex with animals on
account of they got that
word bestiality it's in the dictionary it ain't easy to get a word yeah so
somebody's doing it
somebody's got to be going hey man uh even some animals hey uh we gotta come up
with a word whatever
so i i can't remember what joke but some joke about like i said i feel uh sorry
for the uh animal
because and you know they get to have sex with a super hot lady and then the
next day they bring them
back to another pig you know because the pig initially he was having sex with
another pig he
didn't know hey this is a nice looking it's a nice looking thing i'm but then
they go you know and then
i also said i feel sorry for imagine if you watch one of those uh video you
know of a guy a pig having
sex with a woman and then you recognize that hey isn't that that woman that uh
wouldn't go out with me
well but i think that let's save our sympathy here for the female because uh
you know in a way
where do you go get yourself to to look at that thing and think i will put that
into my mouth i mean
i wouldn't eat it if it had been cooked so alive writhing and about to dispense
but a human being i think anything that you do what what what what do you think
is wrong wrongger
wrong in more wrong what do you think is more wrong having sex with a child
human being or an adult pig
like you've got to do one that's the you've got to do one yeah you're on a
deserted not me some
hypothetical you're on a deserted island with a single treated it's not me it's
this person called
doug yeah right doug is on this island doug is on a deserted i probably went
there because he likes
both of these options yeah he swum there what there's an island with a pig and
a kid how do i get
there swam there with an erection using his penis like a killer whale tail lashing
his way to the
island how old are you well older that's non-sequitur what kind of uh what kind
of direction do you have
hold on a second mine's marvelous but like but let's but let's say it because
mine is bendy
i do it with look i won't have sex with a child because i think it i think the
pig may not be as
bothered as a child i think it could have huge psychological impact on the
child so out of
compassion i would advise doug to do it with the pig and to leave the child
alone because of the potential
psychological impact even though the child's on a bloody island anyway that's
gonna mess him up all
that robinson crusoe crap but yeah