Name: Bullying Adam Eget
Uploaded: 2022-02-10T06:10:37.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bullying Adam Eget' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-10. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Bullying Adam Eget' from I'm not Norm on Comedy Buff. Published 2022-02-10. Transcript available.

When I first started, when I first came to Hollywood, my goal was just to get
my name on there.
You know how they write the names on the comic store?
I got my name on how long ago?
About a year, almost a year ago.
A year ago.
I'm 61 years old.
I never got it on there.
You never got it on at all?
No.
We'll make that happen.
I don't think so.
I'll bet you we could.
It's got to be bigger than the rest now.
Well, let's see what I can do.
I don't like this when we make those dirty drinks.
Dirty Sanchez?
Dirty Sanchez?
That's what you drink.
What dirty drinks?
No, they say like...
Pink Pussy.
Huh?
Like the Pink Pussy.
You don't have to be dirty.
The guy...
I don't realize there's a TV camera aimed at him.
You guys, this is like your little brother.
God damn, man.
You have such control.
You're on a show that almost was the precursor for...
Oh, he definitely was a precursor.
Precursor.
That's a good word.
Because that's in Breaking Bad.
But also, Weeds was like kind of a...
Broke down the door for Breaking Bad.
Broke down the door for Breaking Bad, he says.
And he's the post-cursor.
I got nothing.
He's just the cursor.
I'm just cursed.
God damn.
No, your words you use.
Pussy.
You can say...
What was another dirty...
What were you thinking of?
I don't know shit about golf.
25,000 a week he costs.
Is that right?
What?
He says, really?
Well, I...
No, I also...
We also have to take a break.
Are you kidding me?
It says it right on the monitor.
We have no sponsors.
Well, we do have a sponsor, right?
You know what's amazing?
I didn't know.
We have no sponsors.
We have to take a break.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Well, that's great.
Let's take a break.
All right.
Let's take a break.
Say it to the camera.
How do you take it?
Let's take a break.
And that's it.
That does it.
Go ahead.
Say something to me,
and I'm going to show you how I act by reacting.
How are you feeling, Carla?
In my head, I'm thinking,
how am I feeling?
All right.
Jesus.
That wasn't good.
I'm not finished.
Oh.
Yeah, I'm all right.
You?
I guess I'm all right.
I don't know.
Worst reaction.
Doesn't even know how he fucked.
But whatever.
You need a sidekick.
You have a sketch that you wrote,
and it gets like on at 12.55.
Yeah.
And then Lauren comes and goes,
you've got to move this down to four minutes.
Yeah, how do you do that?
You've got to make it three and a half minutes.
How is that possible?
He says, you know,
we could either put it on,
or we'll cut it and do it another week.
And you know it's not going to get on another week.
It's hard to do that.
You have to talk fast.
You know what I mean?
No.
You don't know what...
You have to talk fast means?
Yeah, I know.
That happened...
How did you guys meet?
Did you have to audition for this?
We covered that in the Tom Green episode.
No.
We met at Tempe Improv.
I like he's mad.
He's like he's mad at you.
We covered that in the Tom Green episode.
I was saying it to you.
I met him when I used to manage the improv in Tempe.
I didn't ask you if you managed the improv.
I just asked you where you met him.
He's good with that.
Wasn't Kip Adada the guy who went over to...
No, that was Kelly Monteith.
Kelly Monteith, another one.
But these guys were all like established when I came in.
What's his name?
From Chicago.
That's it?
That's how he helps out.
You know, he used to do the two-man act with Tim Reed.
Oh, Tom Dreesons.
Dreesons.
Beretta was the best.
And the Little Rascals I saw.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The book was riveting.
And the Flying...
You didn't read the book.
No, but I heard it was pretty good.
Yeah, you heard it from me because I read it.
God damn it, motherfucker.
That was a word you kept using, right?
I mean, no offense to him, but he's a good guy.
He's a good guy.
Him and Beretta.
Adam, do a joke.
Okay, all right.
A good name for a dog is Syndrome.
Then when he tries to attack someone, you can yell,
Down Syndrome.
It's not...
I mean, it's...
Yeah.
It was a little insensitive, I guess.
Go about this one.
Movie star and award-winning director Ben Affleck
has vowed to live for one day on $1.50,
or as Adam Egett calls it,
a raise.
He did the joke and he was a punchline.
Yeah, I'm broke.
There's going to be a Broadway musical
based on the movie Rocky.
I don't know if you guys heard about this.
In the Broadway musical version of the show,
after Rocky climbs the steps
of the art museum,
he goes inside and spends two hours looking at paintings.
Yeah, I know.
God damn.
Goes inside and looks at what?
Paintings?
He looks at paintings.
I like that.
That's a good one.
In England, a woman was arrested for throwing a birthday party
for her 16-year-old son that included marijuana,
alcohol, and strippers.
Now she's got even bigger problems.
What to do for his 17th birthday.
Whatever.
You know what my favorite impression that you did was?
When Sam Donaldson was on the chair.
That was hilarious.
I loved you as the audience member
in Phil Hartman's Donahue sketch
when the women,
they were like battered wives
or something similar to that.
Were you in the...
Thank you.
Were you in the...
Thanks so much for calling in, Super Dave.
Please come back.
I didn't call in, asshole.
I didn't call in.
You called me.
I'm not calling into this.
Let me explain something.
If I'm homeless, I'm not calling in.
Duly noted, Super Dave.
You understand?
You understand?
Yes.